Stupid Mario 3D Land

By MarioMario54321

One night a storm full of rain and wind picked up next to Princess Peach's Castle, causing the leaves of a nearby Tanooki tree to get blown into the air. Then something happened in the castle, but it was the middle of the night so everyone was asleep and no one noticed. The next morning, Mario and the other Toads came running about to the Tanooki tree to see what happened.

Mario: Hey! All the leaves are gone! What happened?

Toad: It was wind in the middle of the night!

Mario: Well that's stupid! How can one stormy night get rid of every single leaf? I was hoping to be Tanooki Mario for the first time since one of my past adventures!

Toad: Well forget about that! There's a letter!

Mario noticed the letter on the ground and picked it up, and saw that the princess had again been kidnapped again by Bowser!

Mario: I don't believe it!! I am outraged!!

Toad: I know! Bowser kidnapped Peach again!!

Mario: No, not that! I can't believe Bowser would just send a letter instead of there being a scene where Peach gets kidnapped! I mean, all I get is a letter? That's so lame!!

Toad: Well he did it in the middle of the night. He must have used a Tanooki Leaf or something.

Mario: Well what's the point of going on another adventure to rescue Peach if the beginning of it is this boring?!

Toad: Stop talking and go rescue Peach!!

Mario: Ok fine!!

Mario went out to start his adventure, grabbing a Tanooki Suit along the way. He headed towards the first flag and topped it, making it gold.

Mario: Yes! I got a gold flag! And a 1-Up! From now on I'll make all my flags gold!

Mario continued into the pipe and went into the underground, where he saw an Inky Piranha Plant.

Mario: Hey! It's a black Piranha Plant!

Inky Piranha Plant: You see black? Get ready to see ALL BLACK!

The Inky Piranha Plant suddenly spits ink into Mario's eyes.


Mario tries to rub his eyes clean, but was failing as he started walking around blindly, bumping into walls. He lost his Tanooki Suit as be bumped into a spiked ball, and suddenly felt into a pit

Mario: No! You stupid Inky Flower!!

Inky Piranha Plant: You're the one who was stupid enough to get in my way!

Mario: We'll see who's stupid after THIS!

Mario takes the warp pipe back up and goes back to kill the Inky Piranha Plant by jumping on his head. After doing so, he arrives at the flag. He jumps for the flag, but sadly, because he doesn't have his Tanooki Suit, he is not able to flutter jump to the top, and doesn't get a gold flag out of it.

Mario: No! Now I have to start over if I want a gold flag.

Mario goes back to the beginning of the level and does it all over again, but fails to get a gold flag again!

Mario: Darn it!

After going through the level back and forth 10 times, Luigi appears out of nowhere at the beginning.

Luigi: Mario, you could just jump for the flag again instead of going through the level over and over again! It's not like you automatically move on each time!

Mario: You're.... you're right! Thanks Luigi!

Mario goes through the whole level again and tries again for the gold flag, but fails. After trying 50 times, the Inky Piranha Plant suddenly shows up and now has a bump on his head after Mario jumped on him.

Inky Piranha Plant: You stupid plumber! I'm going to get you now!!

Mario: Oh come on!!

Mario jumps down in frustration and goes back underground. Then he notices a roof and an upper floor. He jumps onto a block and onto the upper level. Then he walks along it and eventually reaches a pipe.

Mario: Yes! This orange pipe will take me much closer to Bowser's castle! Just like a hidden pipe usually does in an underground level when I first begin!

Mario takes the orange pipe, but it only takes him to the very next world.

Mario: Oh come on!! I just want to get to Bowser!! And by the way, where are the 3D effects?

Suddenly everything turns 3D and a Goomba comes at him and it feels like the Goomba is right at his eye.

Mario: WHOA! My eyes!!

The 3D effects start to affect Mario's vision as if he was inked by an Inky Piranha Plant again. He starts bumping into things, involuntarily getting through several areas while enemies and obstacle hit him. He also skips every flag along the way. Eventually, Mario trips and falls into a pool of lava.

Mario: AAAAHHHH!!! HELP!!!

Mario suddenly reappears, back to normal and having lost a life.

Mario: Wait a minute, I'm close to Bowser's castle already! Yes!

Mario goes to Bowser's castle, but suddenly a bunch of spiked balls come bouncing at him.

Mario: Hey, what gives! Spiked balls don't bounce! They're metal!

The spiked balls are bouncing off of the rocks in the lava and coming at Mario, as if they are all alive. Mario runs away from them, but they get closer and closer. Eventually one of them touches Mario, causing him to shrink!

Mario: No! One more hit and I will lose another life!!

Suddenly Luigi comes out of nowhere and kicks one of the spiked balls, and it hit all the other spiked balls. Eventually they all stop bouncing and fall into the lava.

Mario: Luigi! What are you doing here?

Luigi: I don't know how you got through everything else, but now that you're here, I thought you could use some help.

Mario: Thanks!

Mario proceeds to high-five Luigi, but instead he accidently slaps him in the head.

Luigi: Ow! Hey! What in the world?

Mario: Sorry! My eyes are all over the place from the 3D effects!

Luigi: The 3D effects must have damaged your vision. Next time don't say "where are the 3D effects?"!

Suddenly everything turns 3D again.

Luigi: Oh no... Me and my big mouth... Shield your eyes!

Luigi shields his eyes with his hands, and Mario does the same to avoid having their vision damaged. But sadly, as they do so, a huge vacuum appears at a nearby castle and sucks Mario and Luigi in.

Bowser: Ok! I got you all! If you want to rescue the princess then you'd better get past me!

Mario and Luigi think for a while, then they get an idea.

Mario (sarcastically): Gee Bowser.... Wouldn't all this be better and less stupid if it was in 3D?

Luigi (playing along): Yeah Bowser. It would look great! As if the fire came right at you!

Bowser:'re right! But just where are the 3D effects?

Mario and Luigi immediately shield their eyes, as everything suddenly turns 3D again, causing Bowser's vision to get damaged.

Bowser: Hey! I'm having trouble seeing! Everything is coming at me!

Bowser tries to see where he is going, but sadly he accidently walks off the bridge and into the lava.

Luigi: Ok! Now go go go!

Mario quickly runs forward as several enemies grab Luigi and take him to the Special Worlds. Mario comes to the end of the castle and sees Princess Peach.

Mario: Nice try, Bowser! But I know this is just a cutout of Princess Peach, and that the real Princess Peach is in another castle!

Peach: Hey! It's really me! Why would you assume I'm in the next castle?

Mario: Oh, hi Peach! My adventure is over already?

Peach: Yes! You defeated Bowser, and now you're ready to go rescue Luigi in the Special Worlds!

Mario: Yeah! I'm ready to.... Wait, what? How do you know that?

Peach: Uh... Lucky guess?

Mario: Never mind. Let's just go home, and then go to the Special Worlds!

Peach: Ok.

Mario and Peach start walking home.

Peach: Hold on a second. I forgot my uhh... shoe.

Mario: Ummm... Ok.

Peach goes back, out of sight from Mario, and suddenly transforms into Mimi. Then Luigi jumps out from behind a bunch of rubble.

Mimi: Ok, now we can go.

Luigi: All right! Now I can go rescue the real Princess Peach at Bowser's real castle! Also it was a good idea to have Doopliss take my shape. Those enemies took him instead of me!

Mimi: Yeah. I never knew he could shapeshift like me!

Mimi transforms back into Princess Peach and goes with Mario back to Peach's Castle, while Luigi notices Bowser holding the real Princess Peach and taking her to his real castle and Luigi chases after him.

Meanwhile, in one of the Special Worlds, "Luigi" is being dragged into a cell.

"Luigi" (Doopliss): Ok. Time to get out of here!!

Doopliss suddenly transforms back into his real self and beats up the enemies.

Meanwhile, back at Princess Peach's Castle sometime later....

"Peach": Thanks for rescuing me, Mario!

Mario: You're welcome! I do it a lot, so it was nothing.

Luigi suddenly turns up wearing a Tanooki Suit with the real Princess Peach.

Peach: Thank you so much for rescuing me, Luigi!

Luigi: No problem, Princess!

Mario: Wait a minute... Luigi? When did you....?

Suddenly the fake Princess Peach transforms back into Mimi.

Mimi: Surprise!

Luigi: Yeah, Mario. Surprise!

Mario: What the...?! But you... they... she… LUIGI!!!

Read on!

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