|
Buster Beetle: He's way too egotisticical. If he wins, we'll never hear the end of it. |
Mastadoom: I've had quite enough of his depressing prophecies. |
|
Amazing Flying Hammer Brother: He's strong, and clever too. He'll win for sure. |
Blooper: Need I say more? |
The referee:
The announcer:
***
Kamek: Welcome, welcome to Roy's Sports Hall. I'm Kamek, here with Pokey for a special encore performance for this Round Three match. ... Pokey, say hello.
Pokey: Hi.
Kamek: Just as brief as ever, I see.
Pokey: It works.
Kamek: Well, for you, maybe, but... Anyway, let's meet the Champions. In the Red Corner, and preparing his Ice Blocks, is Buster Beetle!
Buster Beetle: I WILL win, and NINTENDO will know that I am the greatest fighter that ever lived! HEAR ME NINTENDO!!!
Kamek: In the Green Corner, he's strong against physical attacks and master of earth, it's Mastadoom!
Mastadoom: Three of the fighters here are doomed... regrettably, I am not one of them.
Kamek: In the Yellow Corner, with a height advantage and an unlimited supply of hammers, is Amazing Flying Hammer Brother!
Amazing: Once I make quick work out of this battle, everyone will be amazed at my handiwork!
Kamek: Finally, in the Blue Corner, the Round Two winner with eight dangerous weapons attached to his body, it's Blooper!
Blooper: My managing to get here is certainly another one of my many mistakes. If I'm lucky I won't get beaten up too badly.
Kamek: At this time we turn to Larry Koopa for his prediction. Larry?
Larry: Ok, you'll probably all want to throw bricks at me for this, but my guess is that Blooper will win.
The audience not only want to throw bricks at Larry, they actually do it.
Larry: Next time... I'll say... money...
Kamek: We move right along to Roy, who will announce the Tourist of the Week.
Roy: Forget the suspense, I want to watch the battle! It's Arim, like anyone would care.
Arim: Hey! I care!
Roy: As I said, like anyone would care. Start the battle!
Kamek: Pokey, please do the honors.
Pokey: Fight.
Kamek: NO NO!!! You have to say something else first so we can learn a little about you.
Pokey: ... Fight.
Kamek: I didn't learn anything...
Pokey: Fight.
Kamek: Oh fine, start already!
Amazing: Hammer Toss!
Buster Beetle: That can't hurt me, but you won't like my SUPER POWERFUL BUSTER BEETLE-
???: DEATH!!!
Fighters: Huh?
Kamek: Well this is unexpected! While Buster Beetle was powering up a shell attack, some Porcupo jumped into the ring!
Guest256: DIE!!!
Buster Beetle: AHH!!! Nintendo, save me!
Kamek: Oh, oh my! This is way too gruesome... oh, but it seems to be over now. Erm, I'll just leave it as Buster Beetle is no longer able to battle. But the Porcupo is now making his way out of the ring, so I guess the other three fighters can continue.
Mastadoom: Very well then. Bone Toss.
Blooper: Wowhowhow! Oh... I think I lost some ink...
Mastadoom: Og, liquid! ... I'm doomed.
Kamek: Wow, another surprise! Mastadoom, who came into this battle undefeated, has been knocked out by a little bit of ink. He just turned to dust and now he can't move. But two fighters remain.
Amazing: I'm too amazing to fall victim to you!
Blooper: You're probably right...
Amazing: Of course I'm right! Now throwing hammers randomly might be kind of dangerous, so I'm just going to aim one really well. Let's see now...
Blooper: Oh dear...
Amazing: Three...
Blooper: Wait!
Amazing: Two...
Blooper: No, please!
Amazing: One...
Blooper: Help me!
Amazing: Fire!
Blooper: AAH!!!
Snap! Clonk!
Amazing: YOW! Oohoh, I'm done...
Pokey: Stop.
Kamek: INCREDIBLE! Blooper slapped away Amazing's hammer in self defense, and knocked him out in the process! While probably no one besides Larry guessed this would happen, Blooper is the winner!
Larry: I still... should have asked... for money...
Blooper: No way! You must have made the error this time!
Kamek: It doesn't look that way. We now have one of our Round Four qualifiers in the person of Blooper. Who will the next winner be? Find out starting next week, when two new fighters go head to head. From all of us here except Pokey, so long! Pokey, say goodbye.
Pokey: Bye.
Kamek: Would it kill you to talk more?
Pokey: Yes.
The winner:
The loser:
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Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest
of the battles.
You can go back to the Boxing
Arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions
here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can
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