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 Dark Star
vs
Mechakoopa

Announcer

Referee

Pokey

Season Nine, Round One
The Red Corner


Iggy (Two-Week Champion)
Games: SMB3, SMW, M&L:SS, NSMBW, etc.
Sports Hall Record: 7-5, Round Three Qualifier, Rank 53
(more info)

The Green Corner


Dark Star
Games: M&L:BIS
Sports Hall Record: 0-1, Unranked
(more info)

The Yellow Corner


Mechakoopa
Games: SMW, YSa, NSMBW
Sports Hall Record: 0-1, Unranked
(more info)

The Blue Corner


Karma
Games: Fan Character (Lemmy's Land Official)
Sports Hall Record: 0-1, Unranked
(more info)

***

Iggy: Well hey, guys! Uh, it's good to be back, yeah! Welcome to Roy's Sports Hall, where a Koopaling-dominant finale is going to rock. Your. WORLD. Heheheheh...

POW!

Iggy: Ooooowwww. What was that for?

Roy: Simple. Y'know words are like mosquitoes, right? Well you say so much trash I figure best way ta stop them bugs from bugging me is breaking your jaw.

Iggy: B-but I have to announce!

Roy: We have alternates...

Kamek: Yes, yes we do...

Fawful: We are most certainly in the form of alternations in the case of fink-rat extermination, fururururu.

Czar Dragon: Duhhhh... I say stuff and, um... people do things.

Iggy: You've made your point, okay Roy, buddy, pal? I-I mean no hard feelings, right?

Roy: I got none at all.

Iggy: Well, that's good to he-

Roy: Your cheating's given me somethin' harder than hard! Rock solid, pretty much! Heh... but I'll save it. I just have these guys around to remind you... of how LOW on the totem pole you are! I only like the red one.

Iggy: I see, well, u-um, let's get started. In that, um, o-one over there it's, um, a wind-up toy who's cool and out of style, Mechakoopa!

Mechakoopa: Systems are all go. We're going to have one great show!

Iggy: And in, um, the one over there it-

Czar Dragon: ... OH! I'm the red one!

Iggy: ... Dark Star.

Dark Star: PREVIOUS DEFEAT WAS MERELY A SETBACK. NOW I SHALL TRULY TAKE WHAT I DESERVE.

Iggy: Ummm... Larry, want to give your opinion?

Larry: You're doomed, dude.

Iggy: I meant about the match, specifically!

Larry: Oh, right, uh... well Dark Star. We haven't really liked inanimate object types lately, right? Toys shouldn't be that strong either.

Iggy: W-well that's a good analysis as any, I gue-

Roy: You AGREEING with LARRY, punk?

Iggy: N-no! Larry is an idiot and always will be!

Roy: That's what I like to hear. Pokey, start this thing.

Pokey: Fight.

DING! DING! DING!

Mechakoopa: I'm charging right ahead! Staying right on target!

Dark Star: HMPH.

CRACK-OW!

Mechakoopa: Bzzzzz- Oh Sherry, I can't marry you. As a child I was kidnapped by a group of Ninja Zombie Kremlings, and they killed my father! No Lance, it is I who can't marry you... because I AM a Ninja Zombie Kremling!

Iggy: Well, um, lightning hit Mechakoopa an-

Roy: Sshhhhh! This part's awesome. It's like wrestling with more shirts on and stuff!

Mechakoopa: But the truth is, Lance... I'M really your twin brother genetic duplicate! You were cloned as a child and I've come for revenge! No, Johnny, no! It cannot be so!

Dark Star: THIS HAS FALLEN BENEATH EVEN MY EXPECTATIONS.

Iggy: Well, um, Mechakoopa doesn't seem to be able to move and, u-

Dark Star: THE FIGHT SHALL NOT BE FINISHED.

Iggy: B-but-

Dark Star: ...

Poof!

Iggy: Um... Dark Star disappeared... Well, um, one fighter is unable to fight and the other is gone so, um...

Pokey: Still going.

Iggy: What?

Pokey: I know.

Roy: Did you just doubt Pokey, pal? Not many people get ta do that an-

Rumblerumblerumble.

Iggy: You guys hear anythi-

KA-BOOM!

Mechakoopa: One Shell To Save will return after... Shutting down... Processes failing... Bzzt.

Dark Star: TRULY WORTHLESS.

Iggy: Mechakoopa is officially in pieces at this point. I think it's safe to say tha-

Dark Star: FLAMETHROWER.

Iggy: Wha?

FWOOM!

Mechakoopa: ...

Dark Star: SUCH A SIMPLE TOOL... HAD YOU MORE, PERHAPS YOU WOULD BE A WORTHY BEING. FOR NOW, I HAVE WHAT I CAME FOR.

Pokey: Dark Star, winner.

Iggy: Well, um... Mechakoopa is um... ashes. Like I can't even tell it ever existed. G-good thing those are a dime a dozen, huh?

Roy: Huh... So we got a guy who eats people and then steals their powers and takes 'em for his own... I remember a game like that...

Iggy: R-really?

Roy: I think it was called... um... oh, right! Batman Arkham Asylum!

Iggy: Oh... well, um... is this new challenger the next Shadoo? What poor sap shall he absorb next? Tune in next week, same Koopa time, same Koopa channel!

Roy: That... was low even for you.

Iggy: S-so how'd I do?

Roy: Well... let me answer in one of two ways. The good news is you're stickin' around. And the bad news...

WHAM! BAM! CRACK! DING!

Iggy: Ow!

Larry: Ow!

Roy: I'm all for a twofer, how about everyone else?

Larry and Iggy: BLAGITYBLAGITYBLAGITYBLAGITY- END TRANSMISSION!

The Winner

The Loser


Voting Results (highlight to see):
1. Dark Star: 81%
2. Mechakoopa: 19%
Nominee Results (highlight to see):
1. Biff Atlas: 38%
1. Red I: 38%
3. Midbus: 23%
Disallowed Nominations: You're not allowed to nominate these now - so don't waste your vote!

- Blizzard Midbus (not a separate character from Midbus; nomination counted for Midbus)
- Chauncey and Lakitu (only one nomination may be made at a time so both are disallowed)
- Blaze Koopa (not an official Mario character)
- Peach (... Yeah, I don't see her fighting against Mario.  Being possessed by the Shadow Queen doesn't count.)
- Weegee (not an official character)
- Kooky (whether you call him Ludwig or Kooky, he's already fought this season)
- Daisy (not an enemy)

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