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Angry Sun vs L33t Hamm3r Broz

Announcer Referee <-Prev--Next->

***

Millennium Star: Ho ho ho! Welcome to yet another exciting match at Roy's Sports Hall. Today's fighters must be in top shape if they plan to duke it out and become the superstar!

Roy: Yes. You're a villain from Mario Party. We GET it, thank you!

Millennium Star: Today's board is a duel map of Gate Guy, where our players will be tested in wits and competitions of the dueling variety! It will assuredly be an entertaining fight!

Roy: You just threw random pieces of paper over the floor and added two gates in the middle! This shouldn't even count as a Mario Party board!

Millennium Star: Now, please select if your partner will be in the front or the back of you.

Larry: Can't they just beat each other up?

Millennium Star: Nonsense! Partners in the front can only attack the opponent's back, unless they are Mr. Blizzard or Chain Chomp! To do otherwise would be impossible!

Roy: But look! I'm punching Larry and we're both in front of you!

Larry: Wa- ow!

Millennium Star: That was clearly impossible.

Roy: BUT IT JUST HAPPENED.

Millennium Star: According to the rules of Mario Party, it is impossible, so it did not happen.

Roy: WHAT?! But... but I... and... Just announce!

Millennium Star: In the Red Corner, certain to obtain the Rage Star Stamp should one ever be created, is the Angry Sun!

Angry Sun: BURNINATING THE COUNTRYSIDE! BURNINATING EVERYTHING! ARGH!

Millennium Star: And in the Blue Corner is... Oh, pardon. Someone seems to have given me a random assortment of numbers and letters.

L33t Br0 1: U mad br0?

L33t Br0 2: U rag3 mad br0?

L33t Br0 1: he mad.

Millennium Star: ...

Roy: ...

Larry: ...

Angry Sun: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS AND IT'S ANNOYING!

L33t Br0 2: ya w3ll what3v3r, XD

Millennium Star: How... I do not know how that is even possible.

Roy: Is it not in the Mario Party rulebook?

Millennium Star: No, this just goes by actual logic! How does one create this "ecks-dee" and make it look like a laughing face? It does not make sense!

Roy: Magic.

Millennium Star: Ah. In that case, we have brought in our own Larry to give his thoughts on this matter!

Larry: Uh... I'm going with the Sun. I mean, things that annoying can't possibly have fans, right? Riiiiiight?

...

Larry: ... Crud.

Millennium Star: Ten coins will be awarded to the Angry Sun based on Larry's predict-

Roy: STOP. WITH. THE. MARIO. PARTY!

Millennium Star: Excellent! Now we should roll the dice blocks to decide turn order!

Pokey: Fight.

DING! DING! DING!

Angry Sun: RAARRRRGH!

L33t Br0 1: D0 a barrel r011, rofl!

Whoosh!

Millennium Star: In some maneuver akin to a rolling barrel, the hammer-equipped Koopa was able to dodge.

L33t Br0 2: pr0blem, sun?

Angry Sun: Shut UP!

Fwoom!

L33t Br0 2: aw yeah s0 hawt, looooool.

Millennium Star: ... Why is he not reacting to being set on fire?

Roy: I... don't even know. It's like logic doesn't even seem to apply.

Larry: Welcome to the Internet.

Roy: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Larry: Huh? Oh, nothing, nothing, nothing!

L33t Br0 1: bro where doin it man.

L33t Br0 2: where making this hapen.

Wham! BLAM!

Angry Sun: ARGH!

Millennium Star: Did they just... hrm... Well in any case, one of the brothers rolled into a ball for the other to hit him at the sun with his hammer.

WHAM! WHAM!

Angry Sun: ARGH! STOP! ARGH!

Millennium Star: And they seem to be doing it repeatedly!

Angry Sun: INSOLENCE!

Fwoom!

L33t Br0 1: it hurts man. it hurts deep.

L33t Br0 2: C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Millennium Star: The Brothers refuse to show any form of pain, even when set on fire once again.

Angry Sun: BE IN PAIN! LET THE FIRE BURN YOU TO CINDERS! BURN! BURN, DANG YOU!

L33t Br0 1: sav3 stat3 lol.

Flash!

Millennium Star: I'm not even sure what happened.

L33t Br0 2: d00d ch3ck it I g0t mor hammerz.

Fling! Fling! Fling!

L33t Br0 2: Thes3 hamm3rz are 0n fir3!

L33t Br0 1: Th3y so hawt.

L33t Br0 2: Teh hawt3st.

Millennium Star: And if the Brothers have proven anything, it's that they can throw a lot of hammers in a short period of time.

Angry Sun: STOP MAKING THEM MELT ON ME! I WANT TO BURN YOU, NOT YOUR USELESS INANIMATE OBJECTS!

Millennium Star: Such tactics seem to have no effect.

L33t Br0 1: o noes! thr0w the pumpkin br0!

L33t Br0 2: I'm pretty sure there's never been a pumpkin, and there never will be. The statement strikes me as foolhearty.

Angry Sun: YOUR LOGIC IS INVALID! NOW BURN, PATHETIC CREATURES!

Slam!

L33t Br0 1: dud3 that hurtz. st0p it )=

Angry Sun: YES! BURN! CONTINUE TO BURN AN--

L33t Br0 2: H3y br0 tak3 this.

SLAM!

L33t Br0 1: the hammer ruse was a.... DISTACTION!

Millennium Star: That is not how one spells the word "distraction".

L33t Br0 1: wat 3ver, lulz.

Angry Sun: GRRRRGH! EVERYTHING ABLAZE!

Fwoom!

Millennium Star: Ho ho ho! In retrospect, placing very flammable spaces all over the board was perhaps an oversight on my part!

L33t Br0 1: fir3z. fir3z everywhere.

L33t Br0 2: ub3r lamezorz.

L33t Br0 1: I no, rite?

Millennium Star: And yet, when they're once again consumed by flame, they don't appear to feel pain. Why?

L33t Br0 2: its ttly ir0nic.

L33t Br0 1: ya d0g its, like, w3r3 supp0sed to be hurtin, an then w3 are all "lolno". funny stuff.

Angry Sun: I AM NOT AMUSED!

Slam! Slam!

L33t Br0 2: Bzzzzt!

Spark! Spark!

Millennium Star: Ohho! It appears that one of the brothers' helmets has started to spark.

L33t Br0 1: i warned you dog. i warned you about suns.

L335 Br0 2: IT KEEPS HAPPENING!!!!!

Slam! Slam! Slam!

L33t Br0 1: Ya this is lam3. Load stat3.

Flash!

Angry Sun: ... what?

L33t Br0 1: uber hax, lul.

L33t Br0 2: teh best.

Millennium Star: A serious case of deja vu has overtaken the Sports Hall, as it appears we are in the same position before the Brothers started throwing hammers!

Roy: What... what just happened?

Larry: Okay, it's like, if you save a video game, there's a state of being saved. A "save state", if you will. And since they saved that state earlier, they just loaded that state. So basically, nothing from the point where they started throwing hammers and beyond happened.

Roy: But we SAW IT HAPPEN!

Larry: Well it makes them more interesting than if they just threw hammers!

Throw!

Angry Sun: ARGH! WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH?!

L33t Br0 1: g00d pumpkin thr0w, bro.

L33t Br0 2: ttly dawg.

Roy: Wait... Where did the pumpkin come in?

Larry: They said they didn't have it last time.

Roy: But... it wasn't there and... now it is?

Larry: Look man, it's the Internet. Just go with it.

L33t Br0 1: l00ks like u just got...

Shing!

L33t Br0 1: jacked... by a lanturn.

L33t Br0 2: YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Millennium Star: I would question where the first Brother was able to pull out sunglasses from, but I am beyond questioning the logic of these two.

Angry Sun: ENOUGH! YOU WILL BURN, AND I WILL WATCH YOU BURN! BURN, BURN, BUUUUURRRNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!

L33t Br0 1: he mad.

L33t Br0 2: dud3 chill.

L33t Br0 1: h3re have a turtle shell

Fling!

Angry Sun: NOOOOOO!

Blip! 1000.

Pokey: Angry Sun, out. Broz, winners.

Millennium Star: Ho ho ho! And, as we were all educated by Super Mario Bros. 3, the Angry Sun can simply be defeated by throwing a Koopa shell at it!

Roy: That... doesn't... make... ANY sense! Then how did the hammers not beat it in one hit?! Why does a Koopa shell beat it and not any other attacks?! WHY?!

L33t Br0 1: we trollin'.

L33t Br0 2: he trollin' u.

L33t Br0 1: haters gon hate.

Roy: ARRRRRGH! RAAARRRRRGH!

Larry: Uh, Roy? That wall didn't do anything to you!

WHAM! BAM! CRACK! DING!

Roy: ARRRRRRRGH!

Larry: Well, Roy seems to be consumed with absolute rage right now. End transmission.