This is a list of really cool quotes from the Mario series. Please note: Now that I am accepting episode scripts, I will not accept more quotes for this page. I have had tourists try to submit quotes already featured in the scripts I have. This page will stay here for now, but do not try sending me any more - they will not be accepted.

Kookie quotes

My Koopa Colored Goopa worked perfectly! I'm a genius! -From True Colors.

I've used my Magic Wand to turn all the wild animals into stuffed animals! (maniacal laughter) -From 7 Continents for 7 Koopas.

Today Dome City, tommorow the world! -From The Wheel Thing, submitted by Kooky.

Oh, brother! King Dad's in trouble. That was a good speech! -From Princess Toadstool for President, submitted by John.

Chill out, Cheasty! If you ruin this batch, there won't be time to genius up another one. -From Princess Toadstool for President, submitted by John.

Ok, guys. Now I think it's time we heated things up in the Pipe Maze! -From Misadventures in Babysitting, submitted by John.

Uh, fasten your seatbelt? -From The Wheel Thing, submitted by John.

We do! We're playing a little game called "Stuff Your Furniture Down the Drain"! -From Toddler Terrors of Time Travel, submitted by John.

I'm sooo smart! -From Super Koopa, submitted by Misty Koopa.

Cheatsy quotes

Don't just help him, STAND THERE! -From Gopher Bash.

Everyone knows that Koopa-Green is the sneakiest of ALL! -From True Colors.

Bad King Dad? HAHAHAHAHA! Are you kidding?! -From Princess Toadstool For President, submitted by John.

While Dad conducts a nice campaign, we'll conduct a dirty one! -From Princess Toadstool For President, submitted by John.

Looks like King Dad will win by a landslide! -From Princess Toadstool For President, submitted by John.

Oops! He's got more "RRRRRRR" than everrrrrr! -From Princess Toadstool For President, submitted by John.

Hey! Aren't those the Mario Brothers?! -From Tag Team Trouble, submitted by John.

Did you see the look on that brat's face when we heaved him into the Pipe Maze?! -From Misadventures in Babysitting, submitted by John.

Dad never planned on giving you half of anything! We're double-crossing you! -From Crimes 'R Us, submitted by John.

Pilfer the pyramids in the Koopahari Desert? -From Crimes 'R Us, submitted by John.

Tell that to the Mario Brothers, Kootie-Pie. They'll be here any second! -From The Beauty of Kootie,  submitted by John.

Yeah! Who is this guy, anyway? -From The Beauty of Kootie, submitted by John.

GET HIM DOWN! NOW! -From Gopher Bash, submitted  by John.

Listen to me, you pathetic, pea-brained, problem-producing plumbers! You'll never see your crops AGAIN! -From Gopher Bash, submitted by John.

I hate those plumbers. -From Gopher Bash, submitted by John.

Oh, King Daaad! I have a little surprise for you! How does Eggs Luigi sound for lunch? -From The Yoshi Shuffle, submitted by John.

I am the emperor of eaves dropping. -From The Yoshi Shuffle, submitted by John.

Get back here! That's a five-yard penalty for excessive demonstration! -From The Yoshi Shuffle, submitted by John.

The only way you are going to get your crops back is by shopping at the Koopa Mart. So long, suckers! -From Gopher Bash, submitted by Pikachu.

Oh, Cheatsy! Is there anyone more dispicable then you? -From Gopher Bash, submitted by Pikachu.

Wake up, King Dad. Time for your midnight sneak attack on the Mushroom Kingdom. -From True Colors, submitted by Blackbelt.

Kootie Pie quotes

It's my turn NOW! -From A Toadally Magical Adventure, title submitted by Alex.

I've used my Magic Wand to turn all these stupid, ugly, useless old pictures into something REALLY beautiful, pictures of me! There's the 'Mona Cootie', 'The Birth of Cootie', and 'Cootie Descending a Staircase.' -From 7 Continents for 7 Koopas.

What a lovely fur... GIVE IT TO ME! -From Crimes ‘R Us, submitted by Sandslash.

I WANT IT! I WANT IT! I WANT IT!!! -From Reptiles in the Rose Garden, and Fire Sale, submitted by John.

W-Who...  are YOU?! -From The Beauty of Kootie, submitted by John.

AAAHHHH!!! I'VE BEEN KISSED BY A PLUMBER!!! -From The Beauty of Kootie, submitted by John.

That was so lovely Daddykins, but IT'S MY TURN NOW! -From A Toadally Magical Adventure, submitted by John.

Oh, hi Princess. I'm really very sorry. But, I have decided to place you under house arrest. -From A Toadally Magical Adventure, submitted by John.

AAAHH! ALIENS! Daddykins! Zillions and zillions of them! 20 feet tall! Armed and dangerous, and spewing smoke and fire, and coming this way in heavily armed spaceships! AAHH! We're doomed! AND I DON'T HAVE A SINGLE THING TO WEAR!!! -From Mush-Rumors, submitted by John.

Hmm, it's funny, but those yucky aliens look a lot like, well, humans! -From Mush-Rumors, submitted by John.

Stupid Mario Brothers! Ruin all my fun! COME ON, GANG, I KNOW WHEN WE'RE NOT WANTED!!! From Crimes 'R Us, submitted by John.

Big Mouth! That’s mine! I stole it personally! -From Crimes ‘R Us, submitted by Sandslash.

I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE TAKE BACK THINGS I'VE ALREADY STOLEN!!! -From Fire Sale, submitted by Nicholas.

All right, this is war! -From Recycled Koopa, submitted by Blackbelt.

It's not big enough! -From Dadzilla, submitted by Misty Koopa.

We want our own Hollywood in-concert... RIGHT NOW!!! -From Dadzilla, submitted by Misty Koopa.

It's not my fault I have such a scamp for a dad. -From Dadzilla, submitted by Dark Boshi.

All right, Dad. Now it's time to make us movie stars! -From Dadzilla, submitted by Dark Boshi.

I'm much too beautiful to be a Koopa. -From Dadzilla, submitted by Misty Koopa.

Big Mouth, I'm beginning to think this isn't our real family. -From Dadzillla, submitted by Misty Koopa.

Bully quotes

YOU? BEAUTIFUL? I thought YOU were part of the garbage, Cootie Pie! -From Recycled Koopa, title submitted by Winx.

I'm painting graffiti all over this wall King Dad. But it's just not ANY wall... it's the GREAT WALL OF CHINA! HAHAHAHAHA! -From 7 Continents for. 7 Koopas.

Yeah! They're almost as ugly as the Mario Brothers! -From Sneaky, Lying, Cheating, Giant Ninja Koopas, submitted by John.

Oh, oh, oh! I'm tremblin' in my boots! Piranha Plant, go munch on a Mushroom! -From A Toadally Magical Adventure, submitted by John.

This Santa Claus only gives presents to GOOD children?! What kinda wimp is he? -From The Night Before Cave Christmas, submitted by John.

When I get my claws on Santa, I'll turn 'im into Christmas pudding! -From The Night Before Cave Christmas, submitted by John.

AAAWWW, SHUT UP! We'll never get started! -From The Yoshi Shuffle, submitted by John.

I want one King Dad! -From The Night Before Cave Christmas, submitted by Nicholas.

But Dad, it could be dangerous! -From Sneaky, Lying, Cheating, Giant Ninja Koopas, submitted by Misty Koopa.

Yeah. We need an interestin' dad, like us. -From Dadzilla, submitted by Dark Boshi.

Hey! I am not part of your stupid act! -From Send in the Clowns, submitted by Dark Boshi.

Hip and Hop quotes

Hip: I'm holding a Koop-A-Thon. I'm not going off the air until everyone sends me ALL their money! -From 7 Continents for 7 Koopas.

Hop: I'm turning the Amazon Rain Forest into a parking lot. Now all I need is a zillion cars to fill it! - From 7 Continents for 7 Koopas.

Hip: Farewell-
Hop: -Fidos! -From Life's Ruff, submitted by John.

Hip: Smells like-
Hop: -CHOW TIME!!! -From Life's Ruff, submitted by John.

Hip: We found it! And King Dad thought-
Hop: -We'd mess up this heist! Old Pop's gonna have to-
Hip: -Eat his words! -From Mind Your Mummy Mommy, Mario, submitted by John.

Hip: Just one problem, King Pop. Those pesky Mario Brothers-
Hop: -Are right on our tail! -From The Ugly Mermaid, submitted by John.

Hip: We want to go to school. But-
Hop: King Dad-
Hip: Won't let us. -From a Little Learning, submitted by Misty Koopa.

Hop: Time to heat up-
Hip: This wimpy game! -From A Little Learning, submitted by Dark Boshi.

Hip: Nearing target...
Hop: Ready to fire... -From A Little Learning, submitted by Dark Boshi.

Big Mouth quotes

So you're not lonely here's a little something to keep you company! -From Crimes 'R Us, title submitted by Alex.

It’s curtains for you creeps! You’re history! You've had it! You’re done for! It's all over! We win! Time's up! Your clock is cleaned! The sun has set! The cheese has moven! The Super Mario Brothers are no more! -From Crimes ‘R Us, submitted by Sandslash.

Hey, King Dad's doing aerobic exercizes to get in shape for more badness. -From Mighty Plumber, submitted by Kooky.

Hey! Cootie Pie! Stick ‘em up! Put your hands in the air! I’m a thief! -From Crimes ‘R Us, submitted by Sandslash.

You're a royal pain! And we need YOUR cage for OUR prisoners! -From Sneaky, Lying, Cheating, Giant Ninja Koopas, submitted by John.

Give the brat a country and she FINALLY stops nagging! -From Reptiles In The Rose Garden, submitted by John.

Hey Pop, what are we having a tantrum about? -From Misadventure of Mighty Plumber, submitted by John.

Hey, lady! Gimme your purse! I'm a real bad robber Koopa! I'm also a baaaaaad dancer! -From Crimes 'R Us, submitted by John.

Stick 'em up! This Ptooie Plant is loaded! -From Crimes 'R Us, submitted by John.

Yeah, I heard 'im! Did YOU hear 'im?! You're a lazy BULLY, Bully. If you don't help us, I'm gonna tattle! -From Recycled Koopa, submitted by John.

Not HERE, Cootie Pie! Use your head for something BESIDES make-up! Those faucet-fixers might see it! They've got eyes everywhere! They've got ears, too, so keep it quiet! We don't want them at OUR circus. We just want cave people like Papa Koopa said! And the more, the better, and furthermore- -From Send In the Clown, submitted by John.

I don't! Come back here, you puscelelious parambulator, you negligent nudnik! You- -From Send In The Clown, submitted by John.

So it'll be first and ten, but it might as well be fourth and long! Cause it's now or never, it's do or die, and it's sudden death if that egg breaks open! Boy, that missed extra point sure looms BIG now! The excitement's building up in the- -From The Yoshi Shuffle, submitted by John.

Have a good time! Have a nice day! Sayonarya, ciao! See ya later alligator, ciao! Bon voyage, hasta lavista, be sure to write! -From Bring in the Clown, submitted by Blackbelt.

Yeah. We want a stretch limo! -From Dadzilla, submitted by Misty Koopa.

King Koopa quotes

It's a dirty job, but somebody gets to do it! -From Recycled Koopa, submitted by Kooky.

This is easier than talking Kootie Pie into a shopping spree! -From Send in the Clown, submitted by Kooky.

Quiet, Koopalings! I'm the king here! I'll decide what land we're gonna take over! - From Sneaky, Lying, Cheating, Giant Ninja Koopas, submitted by John.

Go clean your room! (STOMP) And You'd better do it! (STOMP) Stop pinching your little brother! (STOMP x2) Don't be a brat! Turn down your stereo! (STOMPx 3) Pick up your socks! (STOMP) Close the door! (STOMP) Get off the telephone! (STOMP) -From Reptiles In the Rose Garden, submitted by John.

I'm so glad I thought of it! -From Reign Storm, submitted by John.

Ah, shut yer trap! -From Toddler Terrors of Time Travel, submitted by John.

Me?! Ah- uh! No way! Yikes! WHOA! Oof! -From Tag Team Trouble, submitted by John.

They WHAT?! -From Princess Toadstool For President, submitted by John.

But I can't win without it! And you know who I'm gonna blame for this, don't ya?! -From Princess Toadstool For President, submitted by John.

If I want something, I'll just take it! -From Princess Toadstool For President, submitted by John.

Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe. I Koop... YOU, Mario! -From Oh, Brother!, submitted by John.

Kooky, what are you doin'? I'm your dear old King Dad! -From Oh, Brother!, submitted by John.

Knock it off, knuckleheads! I'm not doing exercises, I'm having a temper tantrum! -From Misadventure of Mighty Plumber, submitted by John.

Great balls of fire! -From A Toadally Magical Adventure, submitted by John.

Hey! You! Toad! Go 'way! Shoo! And take those blocks with ya! -From A Toadally Magical Adventure, submitted by John.

You've never seen me angry before! Well you're gonna see me angry! -From Do The Koopa, submitted by John.

Don't those marble-brained Mario Brothers know they're helping aliens?! -From Mush-Rumors, submitted by John.

HAHAHAHAHA! This is PERFECT! I can do even more bad in my doomsub than in my doomship! Soon, the underwater world of Mertropolis will be... Kooptropolis! HAHAHAHA! -From The Ugly Mermaid, submitted by John.

Rocky Wrenches to your battle stations! Enemy plumbers sighted! -From The Ugly Mermaid, submitted by John.

I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, MARIOOOOOOOO!!! -From The Ugly Mermaid, submitted by John.

My little Koopalings... tell Papa your plan <YAWN>... in the morning. -From True Colors, submitted by John.

Para-Goombas, ATTACK! -From Recycled Koopa, submitted by John.

Gimme back Hip's Magic Wand! It's Koopa property, and it's rightfully mine! -From Recycled Koopa, submitted by John.

It's not neat stuff, you nincomkoop! It's the same trash we had before! Now get rid of it! And this time, see it doesn't come back! -From Recycled Koopa, submitted by John.

Hey! It really works! Permit me to introduce ya to... Raccoon Koopa! -From Super Koopa, submitted by John.

Your stupid sub hurt my flipper! And for that, you're ALL gonna pay! -From Super Koopa, submitted by John.

Got any more bright ideas, Kooky?! -From The Wheel Thing, submitted by John.

Time out on the tounge department, Big Mouth! -From Send In The Clown, submitted by John.

STOP! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GO OFF TILL CHRISTMAS (BOOM) Morning. -From The Night Before Cave Christmas, submitted by John.

Why you, I oughta! -From The Night Before Cave Christmas, submitted by John.

Here! Complements of da chef! -From King Scoopa Koopa, submitted by John.

It's brilliant! Glad I thought of it. -From Gopher Bash, submitted by John.

Clams, coins, old socks, we're giving 'em away! -From Rock TV, submitted by John.

Time out! Cease and desist! STOP!  Oh NOOOOOO!!! -From Rock TV, submitted by John.

HIP! HOP! GET IN HERE! I'LL SEND YOU TO SCHOOL! Gladly. -From A Little Learning, submitted by John.

My throne! My throne ROOM! You'll pay for this, plumbers! Get them! -From Mama Luigi, submitted by John.

Owwww! Let go of my nose! -From Crimes ‘R Us, submitted by Pikachu.

Oogtar spelled backwards is "ratgoo". -From The Night Before Cave Christmas, submitted by Nicholas.

We never would of lost if you Koopaling clowns had just tried to wake me up! Who's idea was this midnight attack?! -From True Colors, submitted by Blackbelt.

Give me that map! -From Misadventures of Mighty Plumber, submitted by Blackbelt.

I don't want my kids turning into good citizens. -From A Little Learning, submitted by Misty Koopa.

No, no, Big Mouth's right. -From Sneaky, Lying, Cheating, Giant Ninja Koopas, submitted by Misty Koopa.

Neither do you! -From A Little Learning, submitted by Dark Boshi.

You WILL grow up to be sneaky, two-faced, cheating illiterates, just like your dad! -From A Little Learning, submitted by Dark Boshi.

Christmas is a ba hum koop! -From Koopa Clause, submitted by Sanchez.

Watch it soldier, when I want my feet licked I'll ask for it. I want my feet licked! -From The Bird! The Bird!, submitted by Sanchez.

We're going to turn him into a poodle. A miniature poodle! -From Sneaky Lying Cheating Giant Ninja Koopas, submitted by Misty Koopa.

Mario quotes

That Mouser is quick in the feet, but slow in the head! -From Might McMario and the Pot O Gold, submitted by Sanchez.

Luigi quotes

Bring them on! I'm ready for 'em this time! What am I saying? -From The Mark Of Zero, submitted by Nick Johnson.

Toad quotes

Hey moose nostril. You call me fat head once more, then I'll give you a fat lip! -From The Pied Koopa, submitted by Sanchez.

Other quotes and dialogues

Vampa: Welcome to the wheel of misfortune, the game of pain, misery and torture. I'm your hostess, Vampa White! -From On Her Majesty's Sewer Service, submitted by Sanchez.

Brutius: You aren't going no where, Fungus!
Toad:  That's what I said. I aren't going no where.
Brutius: FUNGUS!!!
Toad: Right, Fungus, ha ha, sorry I forgot that part. -From The Great Gladiator Gig, submitted by Sanchez.

Mouser: All rise for the honorable dishonorable Judge Koopa!
Toad: at least we got rid of that creepo Judge Koopa!
Mouser: Quiet, Fungus! Warden Koopa doesn't allow his prisioners to talk!
Luigi: Warden Koopa!
Koopa: (walks out of door) It was so much fun being your crooked judge that I decided to become your cruel warden! Ha ha ha! -From Escape from Koopatraz, submitted by Sanchez.

Toad: Land ho, dudes! the island of Koopos is dead ahead!
Luigi: Aw, Toad, did you have to say "dead"? -From Trojan Koopa, submitted by Sanchez.

Mario: Hey! We just gonna hang around here all day, or get back in the race?
Luigi: I thought Hanging around all day was the better choice. -From Great BMX Race, submitted by Sanchez.

Mario: Whoa! I've got good news and bad news for you.
Luigi: What's better than this? -From Stars in their Eyes, submitted by Sanchez.

Mario: Luigi! You have to swim across the moat and let down the drawbridge.
Luigi: Me! But the but but I can't. Um, I'm gonna have a baby. (holding his stomach and groans) -From Mario of Cramolot, submitted by Sanchez.

Koopa: At the sheep of six, draw!
Baby Ostro: Sheep sheep sheep sheep sheep.
Koopa: Gotcha!
Mario: That's only five. you cheated!
Koopa: Like my grandfather Poopa la Koopa always said, cheat, beat, and be merry. (he shoots) -From Butch Mario and the Luigi Kid, submitted by Sanchez.

Mouser: If they can do it, so can I! Eh, I mean YOU! -From Butch Mario and the Luigi Kid, submitted by Sanchez.

Mario: Hey! No problem! It's two men against one mouse... Alright, so now it's a fair fight...
Mouser: Looks like you plumbers are plumb out of luck!
Luigi: I think I liked it better when WE outnumbered THEM.  -From The Great BMX Race, submitted by Sanchez.

Quirk 1: There's just one little problem...
Quirk 2: If Moonman Koopa catches you, he'll put you in chains, boil you in oil, and enslave you for life.
Quirk 1: And that's if he likes you! -From Stars in Their Eyes, submitted by Sanchez.

Princess: They're safe!
Koopa: What?
Toad: She said, "They're safe!" -From The Great BMX Race, submitted by Sanchez.

Princess: But you promised!
Koopa: One of the nice things about being evil is... you get to lie a lot. Ha ha. -From Great Gladiator Gig, submitted by Sanchez.

Luigi: Are you really magic? I mean, really magic? Are you a genie?
Genie: Hey stupid, what else could I be, kooped up in this cramped lamp? -From Mario's Magic Carpet, submitted by Sanchez.

Koopa: All I need for my monster Koopa robot is a brain.
Mouser: (running) Ah, Doctor Koopinstein sir.
Koopa: If you weren't so stupid, Mouser, I would use yours. -From Koopinstein, submitted by Sanchez.

Hop: King Dad! You're not supposed to be here!
King Koopa: And neither are you! -From a Little Learning, submitted by Misty Koopa.

Mario: I still can't believe you turned Hip and Hop into good citizens!
Princess: Well, maybe not good citizens, but you should see their science project! -From a Little Learning, submitted by Misty Koopa.

Princess: This is the end of the trail.
Mario: Good, 'cause this is the end of the trail mix. -From Two Plumbers And A Baby, submitted by Nick Johnson.

Toad: This is the second biggest hypodermic needle I've ever seen.
Luigi: What was the biggest?
Toad: My last flu shot. -From Mario Meets Koopzilla, submitted by Nick Johnson.

Mario: How did you get to be so mean and nasty?
Koopa: Years of practice. -From Mario Meets Koopzilla, submitted by Nick Johnson.

Mouser: They're creaming us, Elkoopitan! Let's retreat to your secret fortress, one mile north of the taco stand!
Mario: (writing it down) Secret Fortress; one mile north of the taco stand.
Koopa: (bashing Mouser with his hat) Ninny! Hamster Head! Cheese Brain! - From The Mark Of Zero, submitted by Nick Johnson.

Mouser: What's the password?
Mario: Password? Hmm...
Mouser: It's cheeseballs, you dopes!
Mario: Oh yeah.
Mario Gang: CHEESEBALLS!
Mouser: That's better.
(Mouser opens the door and Mario and the gang rush into the Koopa Klub.)
Mouser: Boy, some people are really stupid!
From The Unzappables, submitted by Nick Johnson.

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