Part 2: Melvin’s Wrath

It’s another beautiful day on Melvin Island. Frank is watching his TV (the only TV on the island), the Joke-Blaster is doing one of his many enjoyable hobbies, Bob is knocked out on the ground from trying to reach the last bar of chocolate in the cabinet, Old Hag is doing who-knows-what in her hut, and Tina and Todd are relaxing with Princess Peach, who’s getting fatter each day.

Peach: (It sure is taking a long time for Mario to get here. I wonder if anything’s happened to him…)

Meanwhile, out at sea, Mario and the Koopalings are further from Melvin Island then they originally started.

Mario: Don’t worry, Peach, I’m-a coming!

Larry: Not if we have anything to say about it!

RUMBLE!

Wendy: What was that?

Roy: My stomach. I haven’t eaten anything in days.

Iggy: No, wait, it’s…

A giant Blooper bursts from sea.

Larry, Morton Jr., Wendy, Iggy, Lemmy, and Ludwig: AHHH!

Mario: CHEESE!

Roy: FOOD!

Meanwhile, back on Melvin Island, an Islander walks up to Peach, holding another cake.

Islander: For you, O Great Fat One.

Peach: Oh, thank you, but I really couldn’t…

Islander: Oh, but you must! You are the Fat One! Oh, no, are my cakes unsatisfactory? Is that it?! Oh, I have shamed Melvin Island!!!

Peach: No, no! It’s not you! You’re cakes are fine, see?

Peach takes the cake and eats it all.

Peach: See? Mmm, it’s so good!

Islander: Really? You’re not just saying that?

Peach: Of course not! In fact, I wouldn’t mind having more…

Islander: Yes! Right away!

The Islander runs off to make more cakes for Peach.

Peach: Oh, I don’t know if I should eat all these. Toadsworth will be angry with me once he sees how fat I’ve gotten.

Todd: I actually like the fat you! Well, actually, I never knew the skinny you, but you know what I mean.

Tina: Yeah, you look fine, so just relax-

Suddenly, several Islanders came running from the jungle.

Islanders: WAH! HELP! HELP!

Everyone gets all panicky; old Hag leaves her hut, and Bob wakes up from his coma.

Old Hag: SILENCE! What is going on here?

Islander: The Island is being invaded!

Peach, Tina, Todd, and Old Hag: WHAT?!

Islander: These strange creatures came from nowhere! Hooded masked ones, strange-looking bugs, long red snakes, and tiny ninjas! There was also a large mouse that threw bombs, a strange dinosaur that spat eggs, a giant crab, a three-headed snake, a couple of Koopas, and a giant frog!

Todd: That sounds ridiculous!

Tina: Not quite, look!

Peach, Tina, Todd and the Old Hag see all the creatures that were mentioned.

Mouser: Here! Have some bombs!

Birdo: I’m gonna finish you off!

Wart: Ahh, Peach, there you are!

Peach: What are you doing here? Why are you doing this?

Wart: Why? Because I could never find anyone big enough to marry me and become my queen. You have gotten fat enough to weigh as much as me!

Peach: Wait, what are you saying…?

Wart: Peach, you shall marry me and be my fat wife!

Peach: … WHAT?!

Tina and Todd: NEVER!

Tina and Todd punch Wart’s stomach but he’s so fat that the punches bounce back and hit their noses.They are KO’d.

Peach: Oh my!

Islander: O Fat One! I have another- oops!

The Islander trips and loses the cake for Peach. The cake goes flying toward Peach’s face and she whacks it away with her frying pan. The cake flies into Birdo’s snout. She shoots it out and it hits Mouser. Mouser throws a bomb accidentally and it hits Wart and blows up.

Wart: MOUSER!!!

Mouser: *gulp*

While Wart is distracted, Peach does her Peach Bomber and hits Wart. He is not affected because he is as fat as Peach.

Peach: Eep!

Wart: You’ll marry me by choice!

Peach: I’ll never marry you!

Wart looks at Tina and Todd, who are still KO’d.

Wart: Really? Never? Mouser! Blow up Tina and Toad!

Peach: It’s Tina and Todd. Blow them up?! NEVER!

Mouser throws a bomb at Tina and Todd; Peach blocks the bomb’s path and the bomb ricochets off of Peach’s stomach and over to Clawgrip. Clawgrip is blown up and the rocks he had goes flying. A rock lands on Birdo’s head and an egg shoots out of her snout. The egg hits a Pidgit on a magic carpet. The Pidgit falls on Triclyde. Triclyde is KO’d and falls down on a Shy Guy.

Shy Guys, Hoopsters, Ninjis, and Cobrats: *gulp*

Peach: Boo.

S,G,H,N,C: AAHHH!!!

Wart: Don’t let her scare you! All of that stuff was dumb luck! Get ‘er!

Peach does her Peach Bomber and all of Wart’s troops go flying away.

In the sea...

All the Koopa Kids are being lowered into the Blooper’s mouth. Mario throws a fireball at the Blooper. The Blooper drops the Koopa Kids. Lemmy freezes the Blooper with his Freeze Gun. Wendy screams so loud that the ice shatters. The Blooper is KO’d. Roy looks hungrily at the Blooper. He burns it with flame breath and eats it.

Roy: BURP!

Mario: CHEESE!

Ludwig: We’re coming, Peach! Lemmy! Make a platform of ice by freezing the water!

Lemmy does so. The Koopa Kids get on the platform.

Iggy: Let’s go!

Mario melts the platform with a fireball. The Koopa Kids drop into the sea. SPLASH! Mario starts swimming to Melvin Island.

Meanwhile, back on Melvin Island...

Wart: So you beat my minions, so what? You still can’t beat me!

Wart begins to approach Peach, until Bob and Old Hag intervene.

Old Hag: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

Wart: PFFT! Your Lord of the Rings reference won’t stop me!

Bob: As Village Leader, I must ask that we resolve this conflict peaceful-

One of Wart’s bubbles KO's Old Hag.

Bob: … Fat One, you’re on your own.

Bob runs off. However, they distracted Wart long enough for Peach to run away to Robert’s hut.

Peach: Robert! I need your help.

Robert: You’re just in time; I just finished making a dozen cakes for you-

Before Robert can finish, Peach quickly begins eating the cakes.

Robert: Woah!

Peach: Sorry, but I need to get fatter! Wart’s here to marry me because I have grown so fat!

Robert: And you’re trying to eat more to fight him off?

Peach: Actually, I’m hoping that if I get fat enough, he won't want me anymore!

Wart bursts in just as soon as Peach eats the last cake.

Wart: I found yo- WOAH!

Peach’s size has increase so now she is bigger than Wart.

Peach: What do you think now?

Wart: I think… THIS IS GREAT! Just think how skinny I’ll look in comparison to you!

Peach: Oh, darn… OH!

Suddenly, Peach is caught behind her back by Susan and Nick, Wart’s kids. They tie her up.

Susan: Ugh! That was so hard, tying up someone so fat!

Robert: Are you guys new? Hi, I’m Robert, and I-

Nick: Shut up, Rob or whatever. I’d rather not be here, but-

Robert: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!

Silence and stares… Robert’s fuse got lit.

Robert: DON’T- EVER- CALL- ME- ROB!!!

KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

The part of the Island is destroyed. Susan and Nick are blasted away. Peach and Wart, however, remain where they were.

Wart: HAHAHA! I’m not so easily beaten! My fat protected me!

Peach: The explosion broke the ropes! I’m free!

Peach is too fat to run.

Wart: Now to marry you!

Meanwhile, out at sea…

Mario: Getting tired…

Mario stops swimming and begins to fall asleep. He starts sinking.

Larry: Look! Mario fell asleep! We can catch up!

The Koopalings begin to catch up, when suddenly Susan and Nick drop on top of them.

Roy: Are you kidding? That’s stupid, just because those two losers dropped on top of us, that’s not going to stop us from-

CHOMP!

Unagi came up and ate them.

Paperlemmy: HA! That’ll slow them down!

Mario Koopa: Why are we doing this again?

Paperlemmy: Because I want the story to last longer! Now back to the story!

Back on Melvin Island...

Wart grabs two rings and is about to put one on Peach’s finger, but a geek comes up from behind him.

Geek: Excuse me, sir, what are you doing?

Peach: Help! This frog’s trying to marry me against my will!

Geek: Uh, sir, I don’t think you should do that.

Wart: Beat it, shrimpy! I ain’t taking orders from some wimp that sound like Woody Allen!

Geek: WIMP?!

The geek turns into a giant tiki with hands. The tiki flattens Wart with one of his hands and then throws him into the air like a frisbee.

In space...

Wario: I’m bored. Arm-wrestling’s no fun anymore.

Wart flies over.

Bowser: Wanna play frisbee?

Wario: Sure!

Wario and Bowser begin tossing Wart back and forth like a frisbee.

In the Unagi...

Morton: We’re doomed to be digested in the Unagi which won’t be fun and I think it will be gross which gross things are not fun to me except everybody but me thinks wedding cake’s gross and I think it’s fun and so- *SOCK*

Roy: SHUT UP!

Ludwig: Hey, where’s Mario?

Everyone hears “CHEESE!” come from the mouth. They climb up the throat and see Mario poking the Unagi’s uvula.

Mario: This thing is fun to poke! Poke, poke, poke.

Koopa Kids: MARIO! NOOO!!!

The Unagi throws up and everybody goes flying away. They land two feet away from Melvin Island.

Ludwig: Excellent! Now let’s-

A giant Cheep Cheep swallows everybody and spits them out. Everybody goes flying away and they land in the middle of the sea. Melvin Island is nowhere in sight.

Ludwig (sarcastically): >.<  Gee, thanks Mario!

Mario: You’re welcome!

On Melvin Island...

All the villagers have gathered to see the tiki.

Peach: Who are you?

Tiki: I am Melvin. I have come because I heard that the Fat One has been found.

Peach: Yeah, it’s me.

Melvin: Then, we must get you ready, Terry will be here in three days and I can’t let him destroy the Island.

Peach: Then bring on cakes! The fatter I am, the tougher I am!

Will Mario and the Koopa Kids get to Melvin Island?

Ludwig: We will as soon as Roy stops beating up Mario!

Mario: Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!

Will Wart get dizzy from being a frisbee?

Wart: RETCH!

Wario: Eww! Our frisbee threw up!

And will Peach and Melvin beat Terry?

Melvin: There’s no doubt in my mind that-

Peach: MORE CAKE!

Melvin: We’re doomed.

Find out in The Adventures of Fat Peach Part 3: The Yoshi of Doom!

Mario Koopa: Oh, that was real creative.

Paperlemmy: Oh, shut up!

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