Narrator: One day Goombella was shopping for Goomnuts, when she saw a strange little man come up to her.

Popple: I am Popple! You must find the Golden Bullet Bill to save the world from a dangerous wizard named Mouser!

Goombella: Err… Why me?

Popple: Mario Bros. were busy.
 
Goombella: Toad?

Popple: On his break.

Goombella: Peach?

Popple: Bowser’s got her again.

Bowser runs down the aisle with Peach.

Bowser: Bwahaha!

Goombella: Yoshi?

Popple: The story wouldn’t be as funny if it was about Yoshi. Now go and retrieve the Golden Bullet Bill!

Goombella: Off I go!

Narrator: And thus the adventure that would change Goombella’s life (and choice in underwear) began!

Goombella is leaving the super market when suddenly a green guy comes flying toward her.

Fawful: I am having sorries!

Goombella: Okay.

Fawful: You are having prettiness! I LOVE YOU!

Goombella: (stepping back) Okay…

Fawful: I will do whatever you say for you are being the prettiness of an Amazee Dayzee…

Narrator: Five minutes later…

Fawful: And that is how much I love you, O Goomba of much beautifulness!

Goombella: Want to join my quest to save the world?

Fawful: I will do anything you are wishing!

Goombella: Talk normal. The readers can’t understand you. Or maybe they can. CAN YOU UNDERSTAND HIM? ANSWER ME, READERS, ANSWER ME!!!

Fawful: Okay. I’m talking normal now.

Goombella: Okay. We must cross through the forest now.

Narrator: And so the two lovers-

Goombella: I DON’T LOVE HIM!

Narrator: Okay… So the friends…

Goombella: Nope.

Narrator: Acquaintances?

Goombella: Okay.

Narrator: Well… They go to the forest. They see a huge house on a hill… On the side the words “get out” are written. Do our heroes dare enter?

Goombella: Yes.

They walk in.

Fawful: I’m scared.

Goombella: So are you.

Fawful: Me too!

Narrator: Suddenly a Boo appears! Whatever shall they do?!

Goombella grabs the Boo and throws it where the narrator’s voice is coming from. A green Koopa Troopa falls out.

Goombella: Who’re you?

Koopa: I’m Ridley Koopa! I narrate and I wrote the story.

Goombella: Breaking the fourth wall makes no sense.

Ridley: You do it all the time.

Fawful: Have I heard of you before?

Ridley: Yes. I had a cameo in Kamek’s plot.

Goombella: Never heard of it.

Ridley: That's not nice… Why not?

He gives Goombella big, watery, anime eyes.

Goombella: I only read things that have been qualified in Little Lemmy’s Land. And my Tattle Log.

Ridley: Grr…

Fawful: Want to join us on a dangerous quest?

Ridley: K.

Mario: Lets a go.

Ridley: AAAAAAAA!

Fawful: AAAAAAAA!

Goombella: Hi, Mario… *giggle*

Fawful: You’re stealing my girl!

Fawful jumps on Mario and begins killing him.

Ridley: Fawful is being homicidal! What ever shall our heroes do?

Goombella punches him.

Ridley: Ow! How’d you do that? You ain't got arms!

Goombella:  How do I hold the Tattle Log either? It’s a mystery…

Fawful throws Mario's head out the window.

Fawful: I am angry!

Goombella: You mean: I have fury?

Fawful: Nah. You told me to talk normal, remember?

Suddenly a Dr. Shroob and an RC Shroober bust in.

RC Shroober: You’re not going anywhere! Lights!

The lights turn off except two spotlights on the Shroobs. They begin breakdancing.

Dr. Shroob: Oh yeah!

They keep dancing while rap music plays.
Suddenly they stop.

RC Shroober: Feel the burn, baby!

Fawful, Goombella, and Ridley leave.

They see an exit, when suddenly a figure jumps in the way. It’s E. Gadd. Suddenly Luigi comes and begins sucking E. Gadd up.

Luigi: Let’s-a go!

He sets the Poltergust on reverse and shoots a banana at them.

Ridley: Ow.

Luigi: I’m-a so cool.

A mutant green potato monster comes down and tries to eat them.

Goombella: Who wrote this trash?!

Ridley starts scooting away, but Goombella headbonks him.

Potato: I am the ugly potato of no tomorrow!

Everyone: It’s potato time!

Potato: Everyone bows before me! Go potato! It’s my birthday!

Everyone: It’s Potato Time!

Toad runs in and eats the potato!

Toad: Feeling… potatoey…

Everyone except Toad runs off. Toad turns into a potato.

Luigi: The exit’s in sight! Our destination is near!

Ridley bites him on the neck.

Ridley: I have finally defeated Luigi! And the ugly green guy killed Mario! The Koopa Klan is saved!

Fawful: Let’s go to Yoshi-

Ridley: (in really slow, deep voice) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You have brought the accursed one!

Kylie Koopa: I-

Ridley: NO!

Kylie: -love-

Ridley: NOOOO!

Kylie: -Yoshis.

Goombella: That was dumb.

Ridley: I know.

Fawful: We must go to Yoshi’s Island to get the clue about the whereabouts of the Golden Bullet Bill!

Goombella: Why don’t we just make Ridley tell us? He's the writer, so he already knows where it is.

Ridley: ACK! HELP!

He runs off.

Fawful and Goombella: GET BACK HERE!

Kylie: I’m on the road again! Can’t wait to be on the road again.

A boot hits her in the face.

Kylie: Bye, y’all!

Ridley: DON’T HURT ME!

Goombella and Fawful: NEVER!

Ridley: First we must go to Yoshi’s Island like the ugly, green man said.

Goombella: Okay.

Fawful: Will you marry me?

Goombella: No.

Fawful: Foiled again.

Ridley: And so our heroes travel to Yoshi’s island, but what will await them on the deep, blue sea?

Goombella: STOP NARRATING!

Ridley: Sorry.

At the boat…

Goombella: Why don’t we use a hot air balloon like Mario, Peach, and Luigi?

Ridley: Otherwise you couldn’t be attacked by a giant Blooper- ERR… I mean… Boat is more scenic.

Goombella: YAY!

They go to the ticket booth.

Larry: Tickets, please.

Fawful: Why is Larry working at a ticket booth?

Larry: ‘Cause if I’m lucky I’ll get too see some hot Koopas in swimsuits.

Fawful: Eww.

Larry: Tickets. Now.

Ridley: Here you go.

They get onboard.

Waiter: I hate you.

Goombella: I hate you more.

Waiter: No one hates more than Flavio!

Fawful: Nice name.

Flavio: Look who’s talking!

Fawful: WAAAAA!

Ridley: This is going to last five minutes.

Five minutes later…

Fawful: AAAAAAAAAAAA!

Goombella: Oh no! It’s a giant Blooper attacking the boat!

Blooper: I am Johnny Blooper!

Everyone: AAAAAAAA!

Johnny Blooper: Die!

Flavio: I’ll handle this! Oh Johnny of Blooper world! Please leave in-

Johnny Blooper grabs Flavio and pulls him under.

Goombella: Cool! Johnny Blooper and Flavio are gone.

Ridley: It’s Yoshi’s Island! Finally!

Yoshi: Welcome!

Fawful: Where's the Golden Bullet Bill?

Yoshi: In the middle of Grass Land.

Goombella: Why don’t we ask Larry to help?

Ridley: Yay! And so they left for the ticket booth!

Goombella: Narrate again and you’re dead.

AT THE TICKET BOOTH!

Larry: Hi.

Goombella: Take us to Grass Land!

Larry: No. I’m looking for pretty Koopas in swimsuits.

Fawful: Eww.

Ridley: I second that. Eww.

Goombella: THEN I’LL HEADBONK YOU!

Larry: EEP! Okay! I’ll take you to Grass Land. Hop in.

They get into a speedboat. Five minutes later…

Larry: Welcome to Grass Land!

Goombella: I see it!

They run to grab it, but the Toad from before gets in the way.

Toad: It’s potato time!

Fawful: Oh no! He was possessed by the ugly potato of no tomorrow!

Ugly Potato of No Tomorrow: Yes! And the Dark Lord Mouser created me!

Goombella: Haha! I got the Golden Bullet Bill!

Mouser appears.

Mouser: Bomb time! Unless you give me that Golden Bullet Bill.

Fawful: No.

Goombella: Die!

She fires the golden bullet bill at Mouser.

Mouser: NO!

Fawful: Aww… He’s melting… How cute.

Ridley: We must tell Popple!

Popple appears out of nowhere.

Popple: You did it! Now he knows what happens when you scam me!

Goombella: You mean this whole dumb quest was just so you could get back at Mouser?!

Popple: Yes.

Goombella: GET HIM!

Fawful: Hey! (pointing at Koopie Koo) I’m in love again! I can have talking stupidly until Koopie Koo tells me to have stopping!

Ridley: And so it ends.

Goombella: I TOLD YOU! NO MORE NARRATING!

Ridley: Uh oh.

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