Episode 3

Everyone: BOO!!!

Crazy Packers Fan: Welcome to...

Everyone: BOO!!!

Crazy Packers Fan: ... the third episode of the Mushroom Games!

Everyone: BOO!!!

Crazy Packers Fan: Jr. Troopa’s appearance in the stadium has made everyone upset.

Everyone: BOO!!!

Crazy Packers Fan: Now, today’s challenge is different. Each of our seven teams will be sent off into one of the Koopalings’ seven lands from Super Mario Bros. 3, and go on a scavenger hunt there. Whichever team brings back all eight items first wins the big points, and the following teams get points too, but less than the first-place team! Here’s the team designations:

Kool Koopas: Pipe Land
Super Koopas: Ice Land
Hammer Brothers: Sky Land
Interview Imbeciles: Giant Land
Pitiful Piranhas: Water Land
Goofy Goombas: Desert Land
Mario Morons: Grass Land

The better teams get harder lands. The stupid teams that shouldn’t be playing get the easy lands. Now here
are your lists, and go!

Ludwig: This is my land, so I know everything about it. What’s the first item, Roy?

Roy: A Jelectro!

Ludwig: World 7-4. Let’s go there immediately!

Larry: Wait a minute!

Ludwig: What now, little Koopa?

Larry: Why don’t we find the closer things first?

Ludwig: Because it makes sense just to go for anything we see first. Besides, I said so! Now, come on!

Morton: MMMMMPH!!!

Roy: Hey, why don’t I just read the whole list?

Lemmy: That’s a good question. Why don’t you?

Roy: Here’s our list:

Jelectro
Muncher
Nipper Plant
Note Block
Tanooki Suit
Bolt Lift
Bob-omb
Boom-Boom

What a list!

Ludwig: Yeah, so it is! Ha ha ha ha ha! Come on!

Wendy: What’s so funny?

Susan: Beats me. Let’s go!

In World 7-4...

Iggy: Grab that Jelectro!

Larry: You do it, Ludwig!

Ludwig: Okay! Yee-owch!

Larry: HA! What a loser!

Roy: You need rubber gloves, like me! Yee-owch!

Wendy: I switched your rubber gloves with these leather gloves you’ve got on.

Lemmy: This has become a debacle. How long can we swim underwater without air?

All of the Kool Koopas start to gasp for air and have to swim out of the level.

Iggy: Well, well, well. Ludwig’s brilliance has done it again.

Susan: If we didn’t have that moron on our team, we could win with no problem at all! I say we vote him off!

Wendy: I agree!

Lemmy: Hold on, this isn’t even the Mass Massacre scene, and we can’t do it until the end of Survivor II: The Forever Forest!

Larry: Why not?

Lemmy: Because of copyright infringements!

Susan: I love you, Larry!

Larry: I’m voting you off, Susan!

Morton: MMMMPH MMMMPH!!!

Wendy: ARRRGH!!! I can’t stand the thought of that whole Survivor show! Forget the voting off and let’s get a different item!

Roy: How about a Boom Boom? There’s one coming up ahead, after we enter that pipe!

Ludwig: Let’s go there now!

At the Fortress...

Boom Boom: No, I won’t let you capture me.

Roy: Then we’ll lose!

Boom Boom: Well, then, too bad!

Ludwig: Just come along with us and we’ll pay you some money! You can help us too!

Boom Boom: Well, all right...

Back at World 7-4...

Boom Boom: I didn’t say I would help you grab a Jelectro!

Ludwig: Hurry up before we sufficate!

Boom Boom: Well, all right- Yee-owch! That hurts! Stupid Koopalings! I’ll kill you seven later!

Roy: So you will? That’s great! Ha ha ha ha ha! Come on! Get that Jelectro and accept the pain!

Boom Boom: Yee-owch! It won’t budge!

Wendy: We’re going to run out of air soon!

Susan: Pull with all of your might, Boom Boom, and we’ll give you a bonus!

Boom-Boom: Yee-owch! This is useless! I can’t budge it!

Ludwig: I’ll fix that. Let’s swim out and I’ll make a contraption to grab the Jelectro.

Iggy: Make us oxygen tanks too!

In World 7-5...

Ludwig: Susan and Larry, you go get a Bob-omb in this level shown on this map here. Wendy and Lemmy, you go to the Giant Piranha Plant #1, shown on this map here, and get us a Muncher! Iggy and Morton, who has his mouth taped shut, you go get a Note Block from the Giant Piranha Plant #2, shown on this map here. Roy
and Boom Boom, you go get a Bolt Lift from my doomship, which is sitting outside the castle shown on this map here.

Roy: What are you going to do?

Ludwig: I’m going to invent- I mean, make us some oxygen tanks and some kind of grabber to grab that
Jelectro!

Roy: Right! Right! Right!

Boom Boom: Let’s go...

Susan and Larry...

Larry: Get away from me, Susan!

Susan: Oh, I just love you, Larry!

Larry: Shut it right now! We need that Bob-omb and we need it now! There’s one!

Susan: I’ll get it!

BOOM!!!

Larry: Ha ha! You got it! Ha ha ha ha-

BOOM!!!

Susan: So did you!

BOOM!!!

Larry: We both got it!

BOOM!!!

Susan: Please! My ears!

BOOM!!!

Larry: Oh man. Stop it now.

Susan: Let’s get outta here!

Larry: Not yet. We need that Bob-omb.

Susan: But how, without detonating it?

Larry: We need that grabber Ludwig’s making. Climb back in the pipe we came in.

Susan: We can’t! It’s way over our heads!

Larry: Then we must finish the level and come back.

Susan: How romantic!

Larry: Ooh! Get away from me before I-

Wendy and Lemmy...

Wendy: How do we grab one of those Munchers?

Lemmy: Pull it up when it comes out of the pipe.

Wendy: Okay. Yee-owch!

Lemmy: What a wimp! I’ll get it! Yee-owch!

Wendy: Let’s pull together!

Wendy and Lemmy together: Yee-owch!

Lemmy: We ain’t going nowhere fast. Let’s get that grabber off Ludwig.

Wendy: Boy, are you cute!

Lemmy: YUK!!!

Iggy and Morton...

Iggy: All we need to do is grab the Note Block hanging over there!

Morton: Mmmmph!

Iggy: But first we must make sure not to step on the Munchers.

Morton: Mmmmph!

Iggy: Let’s go! Yee-owch!

Morton: Mmm-mmph!

Iggy: We aren’t going anywhere like this. If we only had a grabber that could reach across...

Morton: Mmmmph!

Roy and Boom Boom...

Roy: Well, this is tough. We just got to go grab that Bolt Lift over there and run back to Ludwig.

Boom Boom: I'd better be getting paid!

Roy: Now you do it right now!

Boom Boom: Arrrgh! What I do for some spare change!

Boom Boom falls off the doomship and into a patch of Piranha Plants.

Boom Boom: Yee-owch!

Roy: I can’t get the Bolt Lift off! I’ll have to jump on it to get it off, but I need Boom Boom too! I got to get that grabber off Ludwig!

Boom Boom: Yee-owch!

Ludwig...

Ludwig: Those losers are taking forever! I’m just going to go myself with my one airtank and my new grabber. This grabber can grab anything, but it takes so long to make, that I’ll never make another one! Fortunately, I got a little lucky and finished it quick. I’ll get that Jelectro now!

Ludwig enters Stage 7-4 just as the others arrive.

All: Ludwig, we need that- huh? He’s gone! And we need that grabber, too!

Ludwig: Boy, does this grabber work! I got that Jelectro easily! Now where will I put it?

Ludwig sees a Lava Lotus.

Ludwig: My genius says I put it in that Lava Lotus. But my common sense says I don’t go near that thing! I’ll just bring it out of water, and it can’t move anyway! This is great, especially since this grabber is made out of... Yee-owch!... metal.

Once outside, Ludwig has his air tank bump into a fireball a Venus Fire Trap was holding. The fireball
pierces his tank and the balloon.

Ludwig (in high voice): I’ve got a Jelectro, Kool Koopas!

Roy: I lost Boom Boom. I need that grabber to get him back!

Iggy: I need that grabber for my Note Block!

Wendy: Gimme that grabber! I want it for my Muncher!

Susan: Hand over that grabber to me! I need to get my Bob-omb.

Ludwig (still in high voice): Take off my gas tank!

Roy: I’ll do it!

As Roy takes off the gas mask, he trips and bumps the grabber, which releases the Jelectro. Roy then trips
and touches the Jelectro.

Roy: Yee-owch!

The Jelectro, from Roy’s shaking of the ground, goes flying and ends up landing in a pipe, which goes into
another pipe, which ends up going right back into the water.

Ludwig (in regular voice): Nice going, Roy!

Roy: Well, at least you sound all right again!

Wendy: Now we have no items, and we’ve taken up about half the script doing so!

Lemmy: This isn’t a script.

Roy: Well, it better not be, because in the past, I’ve had real struggles with scripts. I can’t take scripts! They’re pointless! In fact, I’d rather-

Iggy: Boy, Roy’s starting to become like Morton, ever since we taped up Morton’s mouth.

Ludwig: Come on, let’s go at least get that Boom Boom!

On Ludwig’s doomship over the Piranha Patch with Boom Boom in it...

Ludwig: Hold still, now, and we’ll get you out!

Boom Boom: Yee-owch! These Piranha Plants hurt!

Ludwig: I got him!

Roy: Pull away!

Ludwig pulls up a Piranha Plant.

Ludwig: Sorry, Piranha, I’ll have to put you back.

Piranha: Everyone vote for Susan to take over for Ludwig at being in charge of Pipe Land!

Ludwig: Susan?! As... Queen or Princess of Pipe Land?

Susan: Yes!

Ludwig: Go back! Now, as for Boom Boom...

Boom Boom comes up with the grabber.

Boom Boom: Wow! You guys saved my life there!

Ludwig: It’ll cost you your bonus. Now it’s time to go get that Note Block! It’s coming up here!

At Giant Piranha Plant #2...

Lemmy: Come on, just grab that Note Block!

Ludwig: I can’t! I’m having trouble keeping my balance!

Roy: I’ll fix that. Now I’m holding your feet. Go for it!

Ludwig: Whoops!

Ludwig slips and dives into the patch of Munchers.

Ludwig: Yee-owch!

Roy: Sorry, I couldn’t hold your feet that long!

Ludwig: Get me out of here! Yee-owch!

Roy: Give me the grabber!

Ludwig: I can’t lift it up that high! Wait a minute...

Ludwig grabs Roy with the grabber.

Roy: Wait! You’re-

Ludwig: Bringing you down here to feel the pain with me.

Ludwig and Roy together: Yee-owch!

Wendy: Those two are pathetic. I’ll just go jump and grab it as I fall.

Wendy misses, as always.

Ludwig, Wendy, and Roy together: Yee-owch!

Lemmy: This is getting worse and worse! Maybe we should just go back to Crazy Packers Fan and tell him we give up!

Everyone stares at Lemmy.

Lemmy: Well, it would save us some pain, and then we would do just as bad as if we tried!

Everyone stares at Lemmy again.

Lemmy: What is there to look at about me?

Iggy: Maybe it’s the ball...

Larry: Let’s split up again. I’ll go with anyone but-

Susan: Come on, Larry! We’re going to go get that Bob-omb!

Larry: Oh no...

In World 7-5...

Larry: We can’t grab that Bob-omb! He will blow up on us!

Susan: Let’s bribe him!

Larry: Here’s a coin, Bob-omb!

BOOM!!!

Larry: That worked well.

Susan: Here comes another one!

Larry: Let’s just grab him! You do it!

Susan: No, you!

Larry: No, you!

BOOM!!!

Susan: You.

Larry: You.

Susan: Wait a minute! Let’s get this net I brought and have the Bob-omb walk into it! Then we’ll net him up!

Larry: Good idea!

The Bob-omb walks into the net and Susan nets him up!

Susan: We got him!

BOOM!!!

Larry: This is impossible. I give up.

Susan: We can’t just give up without trying.

Larry: We did try!

Susan: That’s true...

Larry: Tell that cameraman to cut to another team!

Susan: Hey, cameraman!

Stupid Cameraman: All right, but Crazy Packers Fan won’t like it...

Ludwig 222: So at my current rate, I’ll pass you by March of 2002!

Smash: I don’t think it will be that soon.

Ludwig 222: Well, here are all the calculations!

Sandslash: Just give it up, Smash. He’s going to pass you.

The Mario Surfer: Hey, what about that list?

Sandslash: Richard has it! Read it, Richard!

Richard: Here’s what we need:

Ice Block
Rocket Engine
Hammer Bros. Suit
Thorn of a Thwomp
Frozen Coin
Frozen Muncher
Ptooie’s Spiked Ball
Tanooki Suit

Washu: These items are all over the place!

Ludwig 222: Not true! Four of those are in World 6-10! Let’s go there first!

At World 6-10...

Misty: I’ll get that Ice Block!

Ludwig 222: All right. Rachelle, you go get us that Hammer Brothers Suit. I’ll get the Frozen Coin and Frozen Muncher because I have a pickax right here.

Misty: I got it!

The Ice Block disappears.

Misty: It went back!

Ludwig 222: How are we going to get an Ice Block?

Smash: Pick it up!

Ludwig 222: But it disappears after a few seconds!

Sandslash: You need to keep it cold. I’ll put it in my refridgerator here.

Sandslash puts an Ice Block in his refrigerator.

Sandslash: It’ll be safe for later.

Rachelle: Look at this Hammer Brothers Suit!

Washu: Put it somewhere safe!

The Mario Surfer: I’ll put it in my pocket.

The suit slips out of The Mario Surfer’s hands and bounces into Sandslash, who has the suit automatically
get put on him.

Smash: Oh no! Now Sandslash has the suit on!

The Mario Surfer: Hit him and it’ll come off!

Smash smashes Sandslash, making the Hammer Brothers Suit disappear into thin air.

Sandslash: What was that for?

Smash: I wanted to get the suit off you, but it’s gone now!

Sandslash: That was because of those stupid Mario 3 rules! You can’t take a suit off without losing it!

Ludwig 222: Look at this Frozen Coin and Frozen Muncher I got!

Misty: Do we need a Fire Flower?

Richard: Let me check... no.

The Fire Flower slips out of Misty’s hands and into Sandslash.

Sandslash: What’s this?

Swinging his arm, Sandslash causes a couple of fireballs to come out of his hand and burn the Frozen Coin and Frozen Muncher.

Ludwig 222: There goes the Frozen Coin and Frozen Muncher! Yee-owch! The Muncher just bit me and ate the coin!

Richard: Now we have no items. Again!

The Mario Surfer: We have that Ice Block in the refridgerator!

Smash: Let me check on it.

Smash opens the refrigerator door, finding the Ice Block still there.

Smash: Yeah, it’s still there.

The Mario Surfer: Now let’s split up so we can get those items back AND get the other items on that list!
Ludwig 222, you go get those Frozen Items back again, while Rachelle gets us that Hammer Brothers Suit back. Smash, you go get a Spiked Ball off a Ptooie while Sandslash gets us a Tanooki Suit. Misty, you get us a Thorn of a Thwomp, taking this Hammer with you. Richard, you get us that Rocket Engine.

Richard: What are you going to do?

The Mario Surfer: I’m going to stay here and watch the Ice Block!

Richard: Right! Right! Right!

Misty: Let’s go!

Washu: What will I do?

The Mario Surfer: Just stay here with me.

Husky: Arf!

The Mario Surfer: Hey, down, boy, watch it, dog, come on, don’t... knock over the refrigerator.

The refridgerator falls off the edge off the platform The Mario Surfer, Washu, and Husky are standing on.

The Mario Surfer: There goes our Ice Block!

Washu: Just go get another one!

The Mario Surfer: It’ll melt, just like the other one!

Washu: Then why doesn’t it melt just sitting there right now?

The Mario Surfer: Once someone touches it, its temperature goes way up. It then melts unless it is put in a very cold place, like a refridgerator. Putting it back on the ice won’t cool it down enough. Throwing it will make it smash apart.

Washu: Then how can we even do this?

The Mario Surfer: Maybe Sandslash will come back with another refridgerator...

World 6-3...

Sandslash: All I have to do is kick this Troopa into that block over there and I’ll make a vine appear.

Sandslash kicks the shell into the block, but it bounces back and hits him with so much force that he gets knocked over.

Sandslash: Oh, a backbiter, eh?

Sandslash jumps and climbs up the vine and into the pipe.

Sandslash: I’ll hit this block for a Tanooki Suit.

The Tanooki Suit bounces out of the block. Sandslash grabs it and leaves the pipe, then finds himself way
above any ground at all.

Sandslash: I’ll have to jump...

Sandslash, falling off a high pipe, has to drop the suit to grab on to a piece of ice to save himself from
falling off into nowhere. He then climbs onto the ice platform.

Sandslash: How hard can it be to get that simple Tanooki Suit?

Sandslash climbs back into the pipe. Then he hits the block, which is empty.

Sandslash: I’ll have to try this level all over again!

World 6-3...

Sandslash: I’m going to get that Tanooki Suit this time! Wait a minute, Ludwig 222, what are you doing here?

Ludwig 222: I’m going to get that Tanooki Suit because I already got my items. You are taking too long!

Sandslash: I had a lot of trouble...

Ludwig 222: I know, but I will handle it myself. You stay here with this Frozen Coin and Frozen Muncher while I do it.

Sandslash: Let’s see him try.

Ludwig 222 runs quickly across the ice columns, grabs a Koopa, throws it into the block, climbs up the vine,
comes out with a Tanooki Suit, and starts going full steam to the end of the level.

Sandslash: That’s cheap! How could he possibly be doing it so well?

Ludwig 222: One more platform... Oof!

A Paratroopa starts flying aimlessly and nails Ludwig 222 onto an ice platform. The same Paratroopa bumps a
moving platform to go underneath his platform and push his ice platform sky high.

Ludwig 222: How am I going to get down without putting on this Tanooki Suit? Once it’s on, I can’t take it off, thanks to those stupid Mario 3 rules.

World 6-1...

Smash: All I need to do is grab that spiked ball when the Ptooie brings it down.

The Spiked Ball comes down, and Smash grabs it.

Smash: Yee-owch!

The Ptooie spits the ball back up again.

Smash: I’ll get that or else!

Smash jumps on top of the Ptooie. The Ptooie spits him sky high, onto a wooden platform.

Smash: Well, when that ball comes back, I’ll grab it.

Smash tries to, but plummets into the Ptooie’s mouth again.

Smash: Yee-owch! Hey, if I kill this Ptooie, I can grab the ball as it comes down! Yee-owch!

That last shout was thanks to the spiked ball coming back down.

Smash: This fireball should work!

The fireball hits the pipe instead and rebounds to hit Smash.

Smash: Yee-owch! Bad aim!

Tons of Ptooies come over to Smash, tossing their spiked balls at him.

Smash: Yee-owch! Yee-owch! Yee-owch! Yee-owch! Let me take one of these balls!

Smash can’t take a spiked ball and must hide on an icy platform where he is safe from the spiked balls and
Ptooies. It just so happens to be where Ludwig 222 is.

Ludwig 222: Oh, it’s you!

Sandslash climbs up to join Ludwig 222 and Smash.

Ludwig 222: You too! What’s the matter with you two?

Lemmy’s Doomship...

Richard: This is easy as cake! I’ve got a Rocket Engine in my hands right now, and I’ll simply carry it back to World 6-10! Only problem is, how do I get there?

Richard tries jumping off the ship in a gap between Bolt Lifts. He lands on an icy platform with Ludwig 222, Smash, and Sandslash.

Ludwig 222: Why does everyone have to crowd around me?

Soon everyone has joined Ludwig 222 on this platform, all holding the items they need, except The Mario
Surfer, who still needs an Ice Block.

The Mario Surfer: Where can I find an Ice Block?

An Ice Block falls from the sky and nails The Mario Surfer on the head.

The Mario Surfer: All right! Now all we have to do is get back to Crazy Packers Fan!

The others stare at him.

The Mario Surfer: I guess that’s the problem...

Tony: Look, Hammers, around here, what I say goes. Understand?

Hammer: No.

Tony pounds Hammer with his smallest finger.

Tony: Now do you understand?

Hammer: Oh, yes!

Tony: Now let’s see the list, Fiery!

Fiery: Here it is:

Kuribo’s Shoe
Podoboo
Spiny
Music Box
Spiny Egg
Para-Beetle
Fire Chomp
Cloud

Boomer: A Cloud?

Hammer: Crazy Packers Fan’s gotta be kidding.

Tony: Crazy Packers Fan is a no-nonsense kind of guy. When he wants something done, he gets it done. My
fellow Soprano Sledge here agrees.

Hammer: Why can’t he talk for himself?

Tony: He wants to remain anonymous. Besides, you won’t tell us your brother’s name!

Hammer: That’s because he and the rest of our no-name brothers don’t feel like talking! We, as Hammer
Brothers, and, really, any type of Brother, have one do the talking and the other do the working and the
thinking.

Boomer: Hold on, shouldn’t we start now?

Fiery: Yeah, the others may have finished by now!

Tony: They couldn’t have finished in ten seconds! Just because they’re ahead of us in the script doesn’t mean they’re doing things before us!

Hammer: We aren’t reading a script this time!

Tony: Right. But what do you know?

Hammer: Let’s just get going!

Tony: I’ll kill you later with my mob.

Fiery: What should we get first?

Tony: You two Fire Brothers take the Spiny and Spiny Egg. The Boomerang Brothers get the Podoboo and Fire Chomp. The Hammer Brothers take the Kuribo’s Shoe and Music Box. We Soprano Sledges take the Para-Beetle and the Cloud.

Hammer: Let’s go!

World 5-6...

Tony: Jump on one of those beetles and grab it.

The other Sledge, by touch of the toe, flattens the flying beetle’s hard shell and crushes it on hitting a
cloud platform.

Tony: Good job! You just killed two birds with one stone! A beetle and a cloud at once!

World 5-8...

Fiery: We simply grab a Spiny off the ground and an egg out of the air.

A Spiny Egg lands and hits Fiery right in the face, becoming a Spiny.

Fiery: Well, at least I got a Spiny! Now you try to get a Spiny Egg!

The other Fire Brother snags a Spiny Egg, but it instantly becomes a Spiny.

Fiery: Hmm... we need a net to grab one in. I have one right here. Grab it, my Brother!

The Brother grabs it, but by touch of the net the Spiny Egg transforms into a Spiny.

Fiery: That’s it! We need to freeze it in mid-air for it to not become a Spiny! I’ve stolen Lemmy’s Freeze Gun, and I have it right here!

Fiery freezes a Spiny Egg in mid-air.

Fiery: Now I must grab it!

Fiery grabs it, and it turns into a Spiny, even though it's frozen.

Fiery: This is impossible!

But then, the Spiny suddenly turns back into a Spiny Egg.

Fiery: It’s a miracle! I got him!

World 5 Fortress #2...

Boomer: Snagging a Podoboo is a matter of timing, my brother. Fire your boomerang now!

Th boomerang flies out and comes back, catching a Podoboo on the way back.

Boomer: Now, as for the Fire Chomp...

World 5-9...

Boomer: Fire that boomerang again!

The Boomerang flies out and comes back, catching a Fire Chomp on the way back.

Boomer: Easy as cake!

World 5-3...

Hammer: This Kuribo’s Shoe business is simple. I’ll get underneath the blocks and jump up, knocking the
Goomba’s shoe off.

Hammer does it all in perfect stride, with his brother picking up the Shoe.

Hammer: Let’s go get that Music Box!

World 5-1...

After realizing that their other Hammer Brother pals weren’t in Sky Land with their Music Box as they had
hoped, the Hammer Brothers had to grab a couple of P-Wings and fly sky high.

Hammer: Inside this pipe is a Music Box!

After finding the Music Box in the room of X-Boxes (I mean the Blue Blocks with X’s on them, not the Moronic Microsoft Machine), Hammer holds up the Music Box triumphantly.

Hammer: I got it!

World 5 Tower...

Tony: We got all our items. Now let’s retrace our steps to get back to Crazy Packers Fan!

Running to Crazy Packers Fan in the stadium, Hammer trips about five yards short of the entrance. His Music Box falls out of his hands and turns on, putting all eight Hammer Brothers into a snooze.

Crazy Packers Fan: How pathetic!

Interview Imbeciles...

Angry Sun: Ooh, what imbecility must we go through this week?

Donkey Kong: DK no know.

Albatoss: We’ve got to find some items, I assume.

Spike: Right. And here’s the list:

Missile Bill
Lakitu
Giant Coral
Giant ? Block
Giant Brick
Piranhacus Giganticus
Big Bertha
Arrow Lift

Snifit: Those are some big items!

Metal Mario: To be honest with you, we won’t be able to get half those items at our small size.

Millenium Star: Ha ha ha! There’s those doors that can make us big!

Lava Lotus: I always wanted to be BIG!!!

World 4-6...

Metal Mario: Everyone enter the door!

Everyone comes out big, and everyone instantly faints from the heat that emits from Angry Sun.

Angry Sun: Everybody hates me! I’ll go run away!

The Angry Sun goes to a border of Ice Land, where his heat is enough to start melting away half the land.
Plus...

Ludwig 222: Our platform is melting!

Smash: Get ready for a free fall!

Sandslash: Water isn’t good for me!

The Mario Surfer: I don’t like to really surf!

Richard: Here comes our dive!

All Eight: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

The Super Koopas land in warm water. All ice items melt or have melted already. They also have their other items sink in the water, even if they don’t normally sink, because there’s something strange about this water. They are all trying to stay afloat, while Angry Sun doesn’t even know what’s going on. Then, thinking that he sees Mario or Bowser, Angry Sun takes a dive in the water, knocking himself out for a while.

Piranhacus Giganticus: Of all the lands, we get stuck with Water Land!

Ptooie: I love the weather!

Muncher: I hate the water!

Nipper: I say we stand still and protest!

Fiery Walking Piranha: Me too!

Hanging Piranha Plant: Me three!

Venus Fire Trap: Not me! We’ve got to stay alive in the points race!

Piranha Plant: I agree. Let’s go off and find some of these items:

Boss Bass
Lava Lotus
Baby Cheep
Frog Suit
Stretch
Hammer
Bolt Lift
Wrench from a Rocky Wrench

Piranhacus Giganticus: We immobile Piranhas who get around only by wheels on the bottom of our pipes ought to sit around while Ptooie, Nipper, Fiery Walking Piranha, and Muncher do all the work!

Muncher: The minute that happens, I quit!

Fiery Walking Piranha: Me too!

Nipper: Me three!

Ptooie: Me four!

Hanging Piranha Plant: I just thought of something... if I’m a Hanging Piranha Plant, then my Pipe’s got to
be attached to the ceiling, right? If it isn’t, then I just go-

WHAM!!!

Hanging Piranha Plant: Yee-owch! Right into the ground!

Piranhacus Giganticus: Don’t you remember that you have supports on wheels holding up your pipe?

Hanging Piranha Plant: I do? Well, they’re there now, but they weren’t before!

Piranha Plant: I give up. Let’s just go on strike, because if they won’t do it for us, we have to make a statement.

Venus Fire Trap: We’re going to lose...

Goombario: Of all places, we get sent to Desert Land!

Goombaria: It’s the second-worst insult we could receive!

Goompapa: Look, we’ve got to do something to at least keep us alive in this points race. How about actually
trying to find the stuff on this list? It ain’t that bad! Here’s the items:

Buzzy Beetle
Brick
Frog Suit
Warp Whistle
Anchor
Dry Bones
Bullet Bill Blaster
Whirlwind

Gooma: How in the world do we capture a whirlwind?

Goompa: Who knows!

Kuribo’s Goomba: Well, you can’t just expect a whirlwind to walk right up to us!

A whirlwind, complete with all the other items, heads the Goofy Goombas’ way.

Goombario: Here comes everything!

Goompa: Jump in it when you can!

All the Goombas jump into the whirlwind, which subsequently turns around and heads deep into the
desert.

Goombaria: Smart...

Daisy: We’ve got to win sometime!

Wario: Or at least finish next-to-last...

Waluigi: I’m scared of these contests! Especially scavenger hunts!

Peach: Read us the list, Daisy!

Daisy: First of all, it’s Princess Daisy, and I don’t take orders from you! What, does he think we’re morons?!

Mario: I definitely am.

Luigi: Besides you... Who are you talking about?

Daisy: Crazy Packers Fan. Look at our list! Read it!

Luigi: It is...

Coin
Coin
Coin
Coin
Coin
Coin
Coin
Coin

Waluigi: I’m scared of coins!

Daisy: See what I mean?! We’re so incompetent all we can get is coins!

Toad: You said it right there, Daisy!

Yoshi: Yoshi not incompetent! Yoshi hungry! Daisy have candy for Yoshi?

Daisy: No, and I don’t intend on giving you any.

Yoshi: Daisy mean! Yoshi like Peach now!

Peach: How hard is it to get coins?

Daisy: Let’s go get some to show up that crazy guy!

Two hours later...

Daisy: There had to be some kind of stipulation. Only seven coins in all of Grass Land! All the rest are gone! I don’t understand it!

Yoshi: Yoshi may have ate a few coins...

Peach: There goes our winning chances! Plus, Waluigi’s been doing something with coins...

Waluigi: These will go in front of my eyes so I don’t see a ghost. A ghost!!!

Daisy: It’s only me taking away your coins.

Yoshi eats those two coins.

Daisy: Yoshi!!! Stupid dino! There goes our win!

Peach: Not yet...

Wario pulls a coin out of his pocket.

Wario: Come on, let’s go! Maybe we’ll win if we hurry!

At the stadium...

Crazy Packers Fan: I may have made this thing way too hard! No one’s come back yet!

The Mario Morons run in with their coins.

Crazy Packers Fan: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven... that’s all you’ve got. Not enough for victory.

Yoshi: *burp*

Daisy: Yoshi! We just lost.

Mario suddenly spits a coin out of his mouth.

Daisy: We win!

Crazy Packers Fan: That can’t be a real coin... wait a minute, it is! The Mario Morons win!

Daisy: Yahoo!

Mario: Hoo-hoo!

Luigi: Yee-who!

Wario: Ha ha ha!

Crazy Packers Fan: Time’s up! Let’s see from these TV monitors each team’s place...

Mario Morons: 1st
Hammer Brothers: 2nd
Goofy Goombas: 3rd
Kool Koopas: 4th
Super Koopas: 5th
Interview Imbeciles: 6th
Pitiful Piranhas: 7th

Those are today’s places, everyone! Let’s see the score now!

Kool Koopas: 80 + 25 = 105
Super Koopas: 80 + 20 = 100
Hammer Brothers: 75 + 40 = 115
Interview Imbeciles: 55 + 15 = 70
Pitiful Piranhas: 40 + 10 = 50
Goofy Goombas: 30 + 30 = 60
Mario Morons: 20 + 50 = 70

Which makes the standings after episode three the following:

Hammer Brothers: 115
Kool Koopas: 105
Super Koopas: 100
Interview Imbeciles: 70
Mario Morons: 70
Goofy Goombas: 60
Pitiful Piranhas: 50

Tony: Wake up, Brothers! We’re in first place!

Hammer: For what?

Tony: I told you no one should mess with us!

Fiery: How?

Boomer: Maybe we got bonus points for sleeping...

Crazy Packers Fan: The tiebreakers for 2nd through 6th were judged for how many items at the end, then how close a team was to the finish, then how many items at one time, then how much a team did, or if a team even tried at all. That’s why the Pitiful Piranhas can enjoy last place!

Venus Fire Trap: I told you all! Now we’re in last and final place!

Ludwig: Somehow we’re still alive after that whole mess.

Roy: Hey, Crazy Packers Fan, how did we get 4th?

Crazy Packers Fan: Simple. You had Boom Boom with you. That was one item, and the other three had none with them at the end. The Super Koopas once had all eight, the Interview Imbeciles at least did something by
ruining the Super Koopas’ day, and the Pitiful Piranhas did nothing. So those are those tiebreakers, and the Hammer Brothers were much closer to the stadium than the Goofy Goombas were at the end. The Mario Morons actually finished the scavenger hunt!

Daisy: Now for our rise to the top!

Yoshi: Yoshi always wins, and remember that!

Wario: Our strategy is working!

Waluigi: I’m scared of first place!

Luigi: Is that good or bad that we finished?

Toad: We won? When?

Peach: I guess those pitiful coins counted.

Mario: Coins? Win? Luigi’s Mansion? Me?

Crazy Packers Fan: Join us next time, when the Mario Morons try to recover from shock, the Super Koopas try to fix their sudden downfall, and the Hammer Brothers try to pad their lead. Get ready for another Mario
game challenge next week, in episode four of the Mushroom Games!

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