Crazy Packers Fan: We’re back here for another episode of the Mushroom Games. It’s really heating up here, with three teams tied for first place and the other three knowing that their team could go if they aren’t in fifth after today.

Tony: Get on with the challenge!

Crazy Packers Fan: Today’s is like no other.

Everyone groans on cue.

Crazy Packers Fan: Today you’ll be destroying Mario’s enemies. But a different type of Mario’s enemies, I
must add.

Roy: What? That makes no sense!

Crazy Packers Fan: Any character who rivals Mario, such as Link or a Pokémon, or a non-Nintendo character
must be captured by your team and brought back to me. At the end of one hour, whoever’s captured the most wins!

Tony: That’s simple! Must they be alive?

Crazy Packers Fan: Preferably.

Tony: There goes half the fun. Let’s go!

Crazy Packers Fan: Remember this is huge for every team today! Ready, get set, go!

Tony: I love this job! We just simply destroy any character we don’t like on sight!

Sledgy: It can’t be THAT easy, can it?

Hammer: What do you think?

Fiery: I think we’re in good shape being that the Packers won.

Boomer: He will be merciful on us! Let’s see those enemies pour in!

Link appears dead ahead.

Tony: Is this deja vu or did Link appear like this before?

Hammer: No, this never happened before. He wouldn’t have been dead.

Tony: Get him!

The Hammer Brothers toss all hammers at the imbecile who makes money from being a moron. Link shrugs them off, causing a chase scene.

Tony: Get him again!

Hammer launches a long-range hammer and nails Link on the head.

Link: I quit!

Tony: We’ve got one! Now let’s go get some more!

Fiery: This is too easy! Something’s wrong!

Boomeranger: I don’t care if something’s wrong, let’s just take the points and run!

Boomer: Hold on. Should we bring back Link now or wait until later?

Hammer: Now.

Tony: Later.

Hammerer: As I thought.

Sledgy: Look, it’s Samus!

Tony: Another non-Mario loser! Let’s get her too!

Hammer: Uh, don’t you think it will hurt to try to pierce that metal?

Tony: Don’t be ridiculous! Let’s jump on her!

All eight jump on Samus, and all eight bounce off.

Hammer: I told you so.

Tony: I don’t want any more of that out of you! Remember, being one of the Soprano Sledges means that you are absolutely loyal to all of us!

Hammer: Loyalty? I just want the money!

Tony: You must learn from the experienced ones. Take Sledgy here. He’s one of the heaviest hitters of all!
You run into him in a back street in Dark Land, and you won’t run again! But when it comes to anyone in our family in trouble, Sledgy is the first to defend them and help them. We are loyal to each other! You won’t ever become good at anything if you don’t learn now!

Hammer: I’ll learn in time!

Tony: Learn in time... there goes Samus!

Hammerer: Stop her!

Boomer: What about a fiery boomerang?

The fiery boomerang bounces off Samus and comes right back at the still yelling at Hammer Tony.

Tony: YEOW!!! Who did this?!

Hammerer: It was Boomer!

Boomer: It was Fiery’s idea!

Fiery: It was Boomer who threw it!

Tony: I’ll let you go this time, but-

Hammer: Our air time is almost up!

Boomeranger: Air time?

Hammer: We only get a little bit of time to be watched on screen!

Sledgy: Why show us doing nothing? They ought to change to another team!

Stupid Cameraman: Very well then.

DK: Diddy Kong related to DK!

Snifit: Too bad.

Spike Top: Diddy Kong ain’t a Mario character, so capture him!

DK: Diddy, come with DK for some bananas!

Diddy: Okay!

Millennium Star: Ha ha ha! It shouldn’t be that easy! Run away from us, Diddy, so we must capture you the
hard way!

Diddy: Okay!

Angry Sun: YOU JERK!!!

Millennium Star: Ha ha ha! Now get him!

Albatoss: I’m getting tired of flying! I’d rather just sit around and do nothing!

Snifit: Oh no. We’re not just quitting like some other people. We’re going to go out there and capture some
of these morons running around! Take that Crash guy, for example. With a moron in a Crash suit, we can grab him with no trouble at all!

Metal Mario: I’ll get him!

Metal Mario grabs the Crash guy.

Spike Top: Hey, it’s Stupid Cameraman in disguise!

Millennium Star: Ha ha ha! Let him go! Then we can have a real challenge!

Metal Mario drops the Crash guy and the Crash guy runs away.

Angry Sun: YOU JERK!!!

Snifit: Do things seem to be following a pattern?

Lava Lotus: I haven’t spoken yet. GET SOMEONE!!!

DK: Diddy and Crash guy get away! DK want to get someone!

Lava Lotus: Grab anyone you see and let’s go back to Crazy Packers Fan!

At Crazy Packers Fan...

Crazy Packers Fan: DK has Snifit, Metal Mario has Lava Lotus, Albatoss has Spike Top, and the Angry Sun has the Millennium Star? Get non-Mario characters or get out of the game!!!

Lava Lotus: That wasn’t what I meant...

Millennium Star: Ha ha ha! That was fun! Let’s do it again!

Spike Top: Kill that stupid star right now!

Snifit: We’re going to lose and fall out of first place!

Metal Mario: That’s not the important part. We’ll be stuck with this loser Millennium Star if we don’t get rid of him now!

DK: DK still mad about losing Diddy!

Angry Sun: WHO CARES ABOUT DIDDY?!

Albatoss: Let’s first try to capture one of these losers running around. What about that Spyro dragon?

Spike Top pierces its wings with his spike, and the spiked Buzzy Beetle collects the dragon and brings him
to Crazy Packers Fan.

Crazy Packers Fan: You’ve got one, and your air time is done.

Ludwig: This can’t possibly be that hard.

Roy: How come there aren’t any running around? There’s only one I see that isn’t from a Mario game, and
that’s that pink ball over there.

Lemmy: You mean... Kirby?

Roy: That’s him. Get him!

Iggy grabs Kirby, but Kirby swallows Iggy and spits him out, giving Kirby messed-up-looking glasses.

Roy: What a loser! He looks so dumb with those glasses on!

Iggy: Come on, go get him!

Bowser: I will!

Bowser trips and Kirby swallows him and spits him out, gaining spikes and the ability to breathe fire, right in Bowser’s face!

Bowser: Stupid pink fuzzball! I’ll kill it!

Larry: First capture it!

Wendy: Would you hurry up already?

Susan: I’ll get it! These others are so incompetent!

Susan grabs Kirby and ties him up.

Susan: Now let’s go get some more!

Ludwig: There ain’t any more!

Lemmy: This is pathetic!

Roy: There’s hundreds of characters running around, but look... Sumo Brother, Panser, Buzzy Beetle, Kuribo’s Goomba, Thwomp, Flurry, Porcupo, Chargin’ Chuck, Captain Falcon- Captain Falcon?! Hey, wait!
Come back here, Falcon! We need another capture, and you’d be great! Oh, come on back!

Lemmy: Not going to work, Roy.

Roy: I’ll try harder. Hey, Captain Moron! Come over here!

Larry: Grab him as he runs by!

Roy grabs a Hot Foot instead.

Roy: YEOW!!! This is all your fault, Larry!

Larry: What did I do?

Lemmy: Here comes Falcon! Throw that rope at him!

Larry instead throws the tied-up Kirby.

Lemmy: There goes Kirby, and Falcon too!

Iggy: Is it me, or is this challenge not going our way?

Bowser: I’ll grab everyone in sight to prove that I’m a good competitor!

Bowser ends up grabbing all the Koopalings and Susan, even Morton somehow.

Bowser: I’ve got eight! Now I’ll go bring these eight imbeciles to Crazy Packers Fan!

At Crazy Packers Fan...

Crazy Packers Fan: These are your teammates and Morton! Go back and try again!

Bowser: Rats!

Roy: That didn’t work either.

Ludwig: Why not?

Roy: Because we’re Mario characters!

Ludwig: Oh.

Lemmy: Let’s go home!

Larry: Home?

Lemmy: We’d catch more back there!

Larry: Good idea. Let’s go!

Iggy: Wait! What about the challenge?

Lemmy and Larry: What challenge?

Iggy: I don’t know either. Let’s go!

Wendy: Where are those three going?

Susan: Just let them go! We’ll be better without them.

Roy: Come on, Dad! We need your help too!

Bowser: I tried already. My time is done.

Ludwig: Let’s just quit like the Pitiful Piranhas always do!

Roy: Good idea!

Wendy: Why not?

Susan: I agree, for once.

Luigi: Why’s-a Mario-a not-a here-a?

Daisy: Good thing he isn’t, but now I wish Peach WASN’T!!! I CAN’T TAKE HAVING HER AROUND!!!

Peach: What did I do?

Waluigi: Don’t say that! That scares me!

Wario: Let’s get going!

Yoshi: Where?

Wario: Let’s just go somewhere!

Yoshi: Yoshi will eat up enemies!

Yoshi slurps up a fox.

Wario: Hey, that’s that loser Fox with the gun and all that! Now we need to get some more!

Yoshi slurps up a little boy.

Wario: Hey, that’s that loser Ness who has a yo-yo and all that!

Toad: I don’t care about that stupid challenge! I just want the money and that’s all!

The King: Hey, am I part of this?

Luigi: I-a wanna go-a home-a!

Daisy: What’s this sudden obsession with going home?! Why is everyone saying “I wanna go home!”?! Let’s win and then go home!

Peach: Why go home?

Daisy: Because... I don’t talk to you!

Waluigi: Don’t scare me anymore! I give up! I surrender! Just end your scaring of me right now!

Wario: Let’s bring these to Crazy Packers Fan!

At Crazy Packers Fan...

Crazy Packers Fan: Two?! That’s good enough for first place right now!

Wario: First place?! What’s going on?!

Smash: I don’t know why I hear everyone else complaining, because there’s tons of characters here, even if they are... Pokémon.

The Mario Surfer: What’s the significance of this one?

Misty: Oh, that’s Mewtwo! Mewtwo has psychic powers, enough to-

WHAM!!!

Misty: - pick you up and throw you across a room, or a stadium.

Lord Seth: This is probably the easiest challenge I’ve ever seen! I got one of those caterpillars, and that
counts as one!

Misty: By the way, that little Weedle can... shoot out lots of poison.

Lord Seth: It’s a fine time to tell me that now!

Misty: It obviously didn’t poison you, because you would have fallen over dead by now. Watch out for that-

Rachelle: Why don’t you go grab one instead of telling us about them?

Misty: Because they’re too powerful just to go out there and grab! You need to use-

Richard: I’m not stepping to the low level of throwing balls at monsters. You’d never see me do that.

Washu: Why waste your time trying to do that when you can just tie one up?

Misty: They’re too-

Washu: I heard. But if they are too powerful, then how will a ball catch them?

Misty: This ball has a lot of-

Rachelle: Power. We know. So throw one!

Misty throws one and somehow catches one.

Misty: It’s so easy!

Smash: Let me try. I don’t think it’ll work.

Misty: It doesn’t work every time.

Sandslash: And none will work on me!

Misty: Most of the time you can’t- one of them just talked.

The Mario Surfer: He said he’d be back for revenge!

Sandslash: Give me that poor Pokémon!

Sandslash takes the ball off Misty.

Sandslash: Now you will all pay! Get them!

All 251 or however many there are supposed to be go after the Super Koopas.

Misty: That was a Sandslash, a ground type-

Washu: THAT WAS OUR OLD TEAMMATE!!! He wants revenge!

Husky: Arf!!! Arf!!!

Lord Seth: Why are you all so scared? This isn’t that hard, from the way Misty showed us!

Misty: But... We don’t have the right equipment to catch them!

As the 251 are about to chase them into a wall, the Hammer Brothers appear and knock down half of them
with their weapons and scare the rest away.

Tony: Now take as many as you can get!

Hammer: We’ll easily win now!

Misty: Now that’s cheap! We do the hard work and they win!

Lord Seth: Not quite. They left three of them right here. Let’s go to Crazy Packers Fan.

But first...

Ptooie: Come on, don’t quit!

Piranhacus Giganticus: Last time we quit, we won!

Lava Piranha: I’m even quitting!

Ptooie: Fine, then, I give up. I quit too.

At Crazy Packers Fan...

Crazy Packers Fan: Time’s up! Here’s today’s final standings:

1st: Hammer Brothers
2nd: Super Koopas
3rd: Mario Morons
4th: Interview Imbeciles
5th: Kool Koopas
6th: Pitiful Piranhas

Crazy Packers Fan: So adding today’s scores to last week’s scores...

Hammer Brothers: 160 + 50 = 210
Interview Imbeciles: 160 + 25 = 185
Kool Koopas: 160 + 20 = 180
Mario Morons: 140 + 30 = 170
Super Koopas: 135 + 40 = 175
Pitiful Piranhas: 110 + 15 = 125

Crazy Packers Fan: Which leaves the standings after six episodes...

Hammer Brothers: 210
Interview Imbeciles: 185
Kool Koopas: 180
Super Koopas: 175
Mario Morons: 170
Pitiful Piranhas: 125

Crazy Packers Fan: And that means the Pitiful Piranhas have to go... you get 80 coins in all, for 10 coins each. So take them and so long!

Ptooie: I knew we shouldn’t have quit!

Crazy Packers Fan: So the final five teams are very close, especially from second through fifth! Here they
are, again...

Hammer Brothers: 210
Interview Imbeciles: 185
Kool Koopas: 180
Super Koopas: 175
Mario Morons: 170

Crazy Packers Fan: So join us next time as we get rid of another team and get closer and closer to the finish on the Mushroom Games!

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