Crazy Packers Fan: Welcome back to The Mushroom Games! I’m Crazy Packers Fan, here with 24 players wanting the grand prize: 8 million coins! But, first, for math whizzes, the Super Koopas are down by 25 points and could only gain 20 on the Mario Morons. But, to make things competitive, we’re doubling the points totals this week, like this:

1st: 100
2nd: 80
3rd: 60

That way, anything can still happen, and any two teams can end up in the finals next week. Since the next
Mario GameCube game should be Mario Sunshine...

Ludwig 222: Yes?

Crazy Packers Fan: We’re going to have a contest based on Dr. Mario!

All 24: OH NO!!!

Crazy Packers Fan: I know you all just love that idea, but here’s what will go on: There will be tons of life-size viruses lurking around here. Your goal is to find the Megavitamins, hidden somewhere in this arena, and toss them at the viruses in order to kill them. After one hour, whoever has the most killed wins. Any
questions?

Misty: What happens if one of us comes in contact with one of them?

Crazy Packers Fan: I don’t know. I’ve never wanted to find out.

Misty: That’s bad news.

Crazy Packers Fan: Ready-

Tony: Wait!

Crazy Packers Fan: What now?

Tony: Can we take these down without Megavitamins?

Crazy Packers Fan: I wouldn’t recommend it.

Tony: Why not?

Crazy Packers Fan: They are invulnerable to anything but Megavitamins.

Tony: That’s a poor excuse!

Crazy Packers Fan: Ready, set-

Daisy: Wait!

Crazy Packers Fan: What now?!

Daisy: May we sacrifice one of our teammates to the viruses?

Crazy Packers Fan: You may only sacrifice yourself, not Princess Peach!

Daisy: Hold on. Who’s the princess here? You don’t call her princess, you-

Crazy Packers Fan: Ready, set, g-

Smash: Wait!

Crazy Packers Fan: WHAT NOW?!

Smash: Say we somehow, er, leave the stadium-

Crazy Packers Fan: NO!!!

The Mario Surfer: Someone’s in a bad mood!

Crazy Packers Fan: One more outburst like that and I’ll have the viruses after you! Ready, set, go!

Hammer: Wait!

Crazy Packers Fan: Too late, I already started!

Mario Morons...

Daisy: Using the help of Morton Koopa Jr., I now can tell you the complete truth, Peach! You are dumb, stupid, moronic, imbecilic, idiotic, feeble-minded, obtuse, simple, and simple-minded! Now that’s enough
evidence that should make The King here make me the princess instead of you! You want a smart princess,
right, The King?

The King: What’s smart?

Daisy: There’s two of them in the same family!

Peach: Who have you been talking to?

Daisy: Never mind.

Luigi: I’m Dr. Luigi!

Luigi has all that Dr. stuff on.

Daisy: Here’s Dr. Luigi to you!

Daisy pulls on the stethoscope and lets go.

Luigi: Yee-owch!

Daisy: Now get those Megavitamins and kill the viruses while I insult Peach!

Yoshi: Yoshi find Megavitamins!

Wario: Does that mean Yoshi will find them, has found them, is finding them, or may find them?

Yoshi slurps about 50 Megavitamins.

Yoshi: Wario try some.

Wario: Good job, Yoshi! You found the Megavitamins!

The Other Two Teams: The Megavitamins!

They rush over.

Ludwig 222: Too late! Look!

Yoshi: Burp!

Smash: Now we’re all out of Megavitamins!

The viruses come running over to the 24 players, causing all but Wario and Waluigi to run to the other side of the stadium.

Waluigi: I’m scared of a lot of things. Maybe everything! But one thing I’m extremely scared of is viruses. Really scared. In fact, I’m so scared I don’t know why I’m even in this competition! I think that Wario needs to save me! Wario! That’s your cue!

Wario: I can’t get up!

As the viruses come within arm’s distance, the Fever music from Dr. Mario starts to blast.

Wario: Hey, I like this song...

Waluigi: I don’t! I’m scared of music!

Wario: Is that song bad news? I have a feeling it is!

Waluigi: I’m too scared to move!

Wario: Why move? Unless the viruses are near...

Daisy (calling from the other side of the stadium): Wario Brothers! Get over here before the viruses get you!

Wario: I still can’t move!

Waluigi: I’m still too scared to move!

Crazy Packers Fan: Only one half-hour to go!

Daisy: We have no Megavitamins to fight the viruses with, so no one can score! Just leave it at that!

Crazy Packers Fan: Just wait...

Somehow, Wario is able to slither away, and Waluigi goes with him, hanging on to his foot. The viruses are
unable to get any closer to them because of how bad it smells around Waluigi. They scatter around the arena, chasing after the players, but are not fast enough to catch any of them.

Ludwig: Having any trouble with these viruses?

Crazy Packers Fan: I brought them here! The players are supposed to catch them!

Ludwig: Oh. But I do have a machine that they may want to buy...

Crazy Packers Fan: What’s that?

Ludwig: Look at this machine! By pushing this button, it will fire a laser at whatever is under this metal thing here. It will shrink it and then destroy it! To make sure it doesn’t hurt anyone, it is set on the “Viruses Only” option.

Crazy Packers Fan: This is too easy! If one of them buys it, they’ll automatically win!

Ludwig: At the price of 100,000 coins, it’s not an easy bargain!

Crazy Packers Fan: All right. Let’s try it out first to make sure it works.

Ludwig: Here comes three viruses now!

The viruses run under the laser. A large explosion occurs.

BOOM!!!

Crazy Packers Fan: Oh no!!!

The machine is no more, but the viruses have been multiplied- by the thousands!

Crazy Packers Fan: What now, Ludwig?

Ludwig: My invention didn’t quite work...

With viruses running around everywhere and no Megavitamins to be found, fans start to vacate the stands and the 24 contestants are jumping into the seats, trying to find an escape. Unfortunately, the laser is still on, somehow, causing more and more viruses to appear.

Crazy Packers Fan: I know where some of the Megavitamins are...

Crazy Packers Fan opens up a case full of Megavitamins and tosses them. Luigi ends up catching some.

Luigi: Dr. Luigi to the rescue!

Luigi extinguishes seven viruses. Misty gets hit by a Megavitamin too, but she is able to use it for good,
getting rid of one virus.

Crazy Packers Fan: Run for cover!

All the participants are on their way out of the stadium when the overpopulation of the viruses catches up with them.

The King: NOOOOOO!!! Or is it yes?

That night, at Mushroom Kingdom Hospital...

Crazy Packers Fan: I’d like to check in 25, uh, what are you guys?

Ludwig: Just call us *cough* losers who got *sneeze* sick.

Crazy Packers Fan: Anyway, these 25 got kind of, you know, sick. So anything you can do to help them?
Anything I can do to make you talk? Are you a doctor, nurse, or a receptionist? Hello?

Dr. Mario: I’ll help you out!

Crazy Packers Fan: That’s a relief. Wait a minute, what’s your name?

Dr. Mario: I’m-a Dr. Mario!

Crazy Packers Fan: Uh, never mind. I don’t need your help.

Misty: If you don’t think of some way to heal us, I’m suing!

Washu: Yeah, it’s no fair you held all the Megavitamins in your hands so you wouldn’t get sick, but the rest of us did!

Crazy Packers Fan: There’s some Megavitamins somewhere in this hospital. Fortunately, I don’t have to go look for them.

Roy: I’m expecting a big tip!

Roy goes out and comes back with a ton of Megavitamins.

Roy: The hospital workers are after me. You’d better get these losers healed and out of here quick!

Crazy Packers Fan: All right, everyone, open up!

The next day, at the stadium...

Crazy Packers Fan: Welcome back to The Mushroom Games! There was a minor disaster that went on yesterday, but after some force-feeding of Megavitamins...

Lord Seth: I hope those Megavitamins don’t have any side effects!

Crazy Packers Fan: They don’t! And I’m sure of it! Anyway, the viruses ended up getting all destroyed
whenever Waluigi yawned...

Waluigi: It’s not my fault!

Crazy Packers Fan: So our contest ended up getting cut short a little bit too early. But I do recall Luigi
getting seven viruses and Misty getting one. That would make it...

1st: Mario Morons
2nd: Super Koopas
3rd: Hammer Brothers

Hmm, doesn’t that seem familiar? That’s the same order as last week! Although it wasn’t that much of a
contest, we have the points ending up like this...

Hammer Brothers: 280 + 60 = 340
Mario Morons: 270 + 100 = 370
Super Koopas: 245 + 80 = 325

So our standings are...

Mario Morons: 370
Hammer Brothers: 340
Super Koopas: 325

Which gives us a little bit of a surprise: the Super Koopas have finally been eliminated!

Misty: This is my last chance to say it, so I might as well let everyone know... this game’s RIGGED!

Lord Seth: 10,000 coins? Not bad... but 1,000,000 is a lot better.

Washu: At least our torture is finally over.

Husky: Arf!

Smash: Wait! Wait! Stop everything! I really don’t think you can do this to us, just kicking us out!

Crazy Packers Fan: And why not?

Smash: I’m in first-

Crazy Packers Fan: Not good enough of an excuse.

Smash: But I-

Crazy Packers Fan: So here’s your team’s 80,000 coins!

Smash: I don’t get interrupted three-

Crazy Packers Fan: How about the last-place Mario Morons coming back to take first place!

Daisy: No thanks to Peach, but Waluigi did help a little...

Crazy Packers Fan: Now that the Super Koopas can finally stop trying to come back, we have a two-team
tournament!

Mario Morons: 370
Hammer Brothers: 340

These two teams will meet up next week in a wild finale, which will give one team the grand prize and send the other one home. So don’t miss next week as I will finally give away the 8,000,000 coins to the winner, in The Mushroom Games finale!

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