Larry: I need an alliance here! I need some others to help me by voting off Susan too!

Susan, Pain in the Neck: He’ll never get an alliance to help him. Besides, he just makes that up to hide his love for me.

Ludwig, Genius: What happened last night was the worst thing imaginable. Iggy, although he annoys me, was
someone I could count on for an alliance. Instead, Roy and those Mario losers get lucky when Bowser just says a random vote.

Morton, Philosopher: To say I am angry, upset, or mad about last night is an understatement. It’s more like
I’m enraged, fuming, aggravated, annoyed, furious, and completely irate about that vote.

Bowser, Tyrant: The reason I got rid of Iggy was a dumb one: I was mad at him at the time. Now I just thought of something bad: what if that moron Roy Koopa forms an alliance and gets rid of all of us? I know we’ve set him up to be voted off the last couple of weeks, but this time I’m serious: we’re voting him off!

Roy: Well, Wario, our alliance worked.

Wario: I knew it would! But now I’m a target.

Roy: Are you going to go and get some masking tape and tape the word “Target” on your clothes like a moron would?

Wario: Nah, that would probably be something someone who is stupid would do. I’m bigger than that. I can win the immunities if I have to.

Yoshi, Food Analyst: Wario too fat to win immunity.

Wendy: What happened to Iggy? He was always there when I needed him.

Larry: I think he got voted off- by accident.

Wendy: Oh yeah, that. Well, that’s probably because the loser who created this show thought that it would be good removing probably the best one here from competition so it would be close and give us good ratings.

Stupid Cameraman: Stop saying that stuff! Now the producer will have to cut what you just said.

Wendy: Why?

Stupid Cameraman: Because that is exactly why our producer told Bowser to vote him off. Now get in your
places! Action!

Susan: Where are our pizzas? I’m hungry again.

Wendy: Yoshi ate them all when we got home last night.

Susan: Yoshi? Oh, another Mario loser.

Wendy: One of those ones who got rid of Iggy. Let’s all vote together to get rid of Roy.

Susan: No, no, let’s not say that. Every time we say that, Roy wins immunity. Every time!

Wendy: Well, we can change that. All we have to do is injure him now so he can’t do anything next immunity
challenge.

Susan: What if it’s one of those dumb “how much do you know about your fellow losers” challenges?

Wendy: Then we give him amnesia.

Susan: What if it’s one of those “who can sit around and do nothing the best” challenges?

Wendy: Well, I’ve never heard of one of those challenges.

Susan: Knowing this show, I bet they’ll have something stupid like that, but the real problem is actually
finding a way to injure Roy. How do we do it?

Wendy: We simply bump into him when he’s sitting on the edge of this fake island. If he falls into the lava, it’s not our fault. All we did was bump him. Then maybe the helicopter will pick him up or he won’t be able to compete.

Susan: I doubt we’ll even be able to touch him.

Wendy: Are you too scared?

Susan: Are you kidding? It’s just that Roy is a lucky loser. Everything good happens to that moron. He’ll see us from behind.

Wendy: I’ll do it myself then.

Susan: Go ahead.

Wendy walks over to Roy.

Roy: Hello, Wendy! Come to bump me off the fake island into the lava so I get injured and have amnesia and
have to be taken off in a helicopter because I can’t compete?

Wendy: How did you know that?

Roy: When this thing is tape delayed, you can tell by watching the TVs on the walls.

Stupid Cameraman: You lunkheads! Stop blowing our cover!

Ludwig, Genius: This is stupid. Our food is gone. Our water is gone. We are stuck with Roy Koopa and Wario
the Fat instead of the brother I hate the least, Iggy. When is our next dumb challenge, and when can we vote
someone else off?

Stupid Cameraman: Why don’t you just wait and see?

Morton: The only show stupider than this show has got to be that dumb Pokemon show.

Ludwig: Are you kidding? This has got to be dumbest show on television.

Morton: I’m not too sure about that.

Bowser: Where’s my pizzas? Where’s my water?

Ludwig: That should be “where are my pizzas”.

Bowser: I didn’t ask for my grammar corrected. I asked for my food!

Ludwig: That loser Yoshi ate it all.

Bowser: Why, I’ll have to take all my anger from all the days before today out on that loser!

Ludwig: You mean the twenty-one and a half days?

Bowser: I don’t care. Where is he?

Ludwig: Where is who?

Bowser: Yoshi, you loser. Yoshi!

Ludwig: There he is, right beside Wario!

Bowser: Both of those losers together will be a great target.

Ludwig: What are you going to do to them?

Bowser: Bump them into the lava.

Bowser walks over behind Wario and Yoshi.

Wario: Bowser will be our next target for our alliance.

Bowser: So he will.

Wario: Yeah, what about it?

Bowser: Come over here.

Wario: Oh no, someone found out about our alliance! Who is it?

Bowser: Take a guess.

Wario: I’m not guessing. I’m running!

Bowser bumps Wario in the leg so he falls over and into the lava.

Yoshi: What is Wario doing in the lava?

Wario: I’m in the lava because that loser Bowser bumped me in.

Bowser: Nar nar nar!

Yoshi: Yoshi hate that laugh!

Wario: Help me up, Yoshi!

Yoshi helps Wario get out of the lava.

Wario: I’ll get you now, Bowser!

Bowser: Wait! Wait! We should be having a challenge right about now!

Stupid Cameraman: That’s right. Now go to the challenge!

The nine remaining losers arrive at a large pipe maze. There are Piranhas coming out of almost every pipe.
Lemmy is sitting on top of a large pipe.

Lemmy: Welcome to our reward challenge, which is a pipe maze. I’m sure everyone misses Iggy and is hungry.

Bowser: You’re right for once!

Lemmy: Any more of that talk and I’ll vote you off myself. All you do is start at any pipe you want and jump from pipe to pipe to pipe trying to find the exit. The exit has your reward of a buffet table full of food. All you other losers will find a reward of getting to speak with some annoying morons.

Roy: Oh no! Not that! Not Mario!

Lemmy: Mario is too much of a moron to be considered for a consolation prize. But some others you don’t
like will be there.

Wendy: This sounds bad.

Lemmy: Losers ready, go!

Bowser starts at the first pipe he sees. He ends up in a field of Munchers.

Bowser: No fair!

Roy goes in the third pipe. He ends up in a room of Mushrooms that all look like Toad.

Roy: Hey, this is torture! These Mushrooms are worse than any Piranha Plant!

The other losers go in a pipe that leads them to a room with exactly seven pipes. Each one takes a pipe.
Morton jumps in a blue pipe and ends up lost in the maze. Wendy joins him after she jumped in a red pipe.
Susan is also with Morton and Wendy after she jumped in a green pipe.

Susan: This is your fault, you two!

Wendy: What did I do?

Morton: On the contrary, the one who is responsible for our being lost and confused is the one who created
this crazy, stupid pipe maze.

Wendy and Susan together: And who’s that?

Morton: I don’t know. Don’t ask me.

Wario and Yoshi both fall when Ludwig jumps over them trying to get to the finish. Ludwig is just about to
cross the finish line when he trips over a small pipe. Larry runs to the buffet table.

Lemmy: Larry is the winner!

Larry eats all the food that is at the table. The rest have to talk to morons like Link, Donkey Kong, and Baby Bowser.

Bowser: How the heck did you get into existance if I don’t remember you ever being in our castle or being
in any of our lands, Baby Bowser?

Baby Bowser: The morons who made Mario Party made me.

Lemmy: Are you enjoying your talk with these morons?

Ludwig: Who exactly are you talking to?

Lemmy: I’m talking to you eight who lost the easy challenge.

Roy: You call that easy? That’s a joke.

Lemmy: Larry enjoyed that meal. I’m sure he saved some for you.

Wendy: You mean some food?

Lemmy: Not food, but saved some stories about how good that tasted. He’ll do a good job rubbing it into you
four.

Wendy: I hate the fact that that loser is always rubbing it into us. He does it about anything, including anytime he gets anything good.

Lemmy: Alright, back to your island! Enough talking to these morons!

Bowser: I was enjoying it.

Lemmy: If you talk with them too much, their stupidity might rub off on you. Not that it will change anything, of course.

Roy: We can leave without you making fun of us.

Susan: Any time we go to these challenges, you make fun of us.

Lemmy: I don’t care. Goodbye.

Larry, Spy: Tomorrow I get to vote off Susan again!

Susan, Pain in the Neck: And tomorrow I will still love Larry!

Larry, Spy: No, no. No more! No!!!

Wario, Strategist: This game is tricky, and I must pull off another trick. Roy thinks Yoshi and I are on his side. But in reality, we’re going to turn on him. Actually, we may not vote for him, but we won’t vote with him. Or maybe we’ll vote for him. Or maybe we’ll vote with him anyway. Anyway, Yoshi and I have an alliance that won’t be broken unless-

Stupid Cameraman: Wait, wait, before we run out of tape! Stop your dumb statement! Do we have any more
tape?

Wario, Strategist: I thought you said you didn’t have any more tape after yesterday’s taping.

Stupid Cameraman: You’re right, I did say that after yesterday’s taping. We must buy more tape!

The screen goes black. Then all of a sudden the dumb show comes back on.

Stupid Cameraman: We’re back!

Wario, Strategist: What a dumb show. The ratings must be really bad for the producer to have to go buy more tape in the middle of my interview.

Bowser: Morton and Wendy! We must discuss who we will vote for.

Wendy: Who?

Bowser: How about Roy?

Stupid Cameraman: Stop! Stop! You can’t set up Roy. For this episode I was told to have you set up Ludwig
to be voted off.

Bowser: Okay, then, we’ll vote off Ludwig, but we won’t like it.

Stupid Cameraman: Okay, that’s better.

Ludwig, Genius: I overhear others trying to form an alliance against me. I’m going to go find out what that’s all about.

Ludwig: What are you talking about, Dad?

Bowser: We were talking about our alliance to vote off Ludwig.

Ludwig: Oh, me?

Bowser: No, not you, Ludwig!

Ludwig: I am Ludwig!

Bowser: Stop fooling around, Morton. I know your dumb jokes.

Ludwig, Genius: That’s my dad for you.

Ludwig: Don’t vote me off! Vote Roy off!

Bowser: We aren’t allowed to say that because this time we have to set you up to be voted off.

Ludwig: Oh yeah, the set-up. You have to set me up to be voted off.

Bowser: Exactly. But most of the time the one who gets set up doesn’t get voted off. So you’ll be alright.

Ludwig: I hope.

Stupid Cameraman: Thanks for spoiling our whole plan to the national TV audience.

Bowser: Does anyone even watch this?

Ludwig: Does anyone even care?

Wendy: Is anyone dumb enough not to know what we actually do on this show?

Commercial: Next week, please watch the review of what has gone on so far on “The Moronic First 24
Days”!

Stupid Cameraman: We’re back again!

Wendy: We really don’t need you saying that anymore.

Stupid Cameraman: I can’t stand any of you losers, so go away!

Wario: Is there really no food and no water around here?

Yoshi: Yoshi ate and drank it all.

Wario: Come here, Yoshi. Right to this lava pit, so I can push you in!

Yoshi: Wario doesn’t want to ruin alliance, does Wario?

Wario: Arrrrrrgh. I suppose you’re right. I can’t give you a lava bath, nor can I have any food. This game isn’t fair!

Yoshi: Yoshi doesn’t care about game. Yoshi still want food!

Wario, Strategist: Yoshi better watch out before he gets voted off this fake island in the basement of a big abandoned house in the middle of who-knows-where tomorrow night.

Susan, Pain in the Neck: Why the heck did we have to waste our time talking to those losers Link, Donkey
Kong, and Baby Bowser? If we want to talk to any civilized losers, we’ll choose them ourselves.

Mario: I’m a moron!

Susan, Pain in the Neck: Oh no! I’m seeing a mirage from not eating or drinking! I just thought I saw Mario again!

Mario: I’m Mario, the moron of the year!

Susan: No! No! That can’t be Mario! NO!!!

Lemmy (controlling the robotic Mario): I just love torturing them!

Some loser suddenly jumps out of nowhere.

Loser: I have to tell you nine losers about the immunity challenge!

Roy: Tell us tomorrow!

Loser: No, I have to today.

Roy: Tell us later!

Loser: No, I have to now.

Roy: Just go!

Loser: Here goes:

The next immunity challenge is very fun;
All you have to do to win is run;
If you make it over conveyor belts and ice,
For you the next vote will be very nice!

Roy: So what? I don’t care. I don’t need to win the immunity challenge. I’m the favorite Koopaling of the one who wrote this script. There’s no way he’d vote me off. Now scram!

Roy kicks the loser into the lava.

Loser: Hey, I’m not the only loser around here! Get me out of here!

Roy, Heavyweight Contender: What a loser! Thinking I need immunity. I’ll probably win it by accident again.
It’s such a cinch.

Ludwig: Don’t be so sure...

Larry: I get to vote Susan off today!

Susan: Stop making jokes. You know why you’re really saying it.

Larry: Don’t say it! Don’t say it! I want to have the pleasure of not having to hear you say it!

Susan: I love you.

Larry: NO!!! NO!!! No more! No!

Susan, Pain in the Neck: He’s crazy about me now!

Roy, Heavyweight Contender: Everything’s all set today. I go to the immunity challenge. Either I get lucky and win the challenge, or I get lucky and don’t get voted off. I never will lose. I can’t! I can’t!

Commercial: For all you people who think for sure Roy is going to get voted off, keep watching! For all you
people who don’t think Roy is going to get voted off, well, you keep watching too!

Morton, Philosopher: Twenty-four days have passed in this extraordinary adventure into a dull old house and on a dumb fake island. Why, that’s three times eight! Two times twelve! Four times six!

Stupid Cameraman: We added that so our channel won’t get sued for having no educational material in our
shows.

Ludwig: What is with this stupid long twenty-fifth day? It seems like it is going to take forever until I can vote someone off. Are you voting with me, Wendy?

Wendy: Perhaps, but today is the twenty-fourth day, genius.

Ludwig: Thanks for calling me by my proper title.

Wendy, Beauty Queen: Some genius that lamebrain is!

Wario: I want to get to the strategy, Yoshi! I want the strategy part to come! Voting and alliances and all that good stuff! You must vote with me, Yoshi! You must! You must! Ah-ha-ha-ha!

Yoshi, Food Analyst: The crash diet is finally crashing for Wario.

Bowser, Tyrant: This is no fair! I finally get a line and it’s time for the dumb immunity challenge already!

Larry: Yeah, you’re right, it is time already! Let’s go!

The nine losers arrive at a large field of ice and conveyor belts. Each one has a clear lane marked by their name and picture of their face. A finish line is about a mile down each lane.

Lemmy: Welcome to our immunity challenge! You need to return the “Moron” necklace, Roy!

Roy: Alright, take it.

Lemmy: Alright, does everyone know what to do? Just run! Run! Run! Run to the finish line! The first one
across wins immunity!

Bowser: We get the point.

Lemmy: Losers ready! GO!

The nine losers start off running well. Wario slips on the ice and falls face-first on it. Bowser also falls. They fall way behind everyone else. Halfway through the race, conveyor belts turned on full blast go against the racers. Only Roy, Wendy and Susan keep on running after the conveyor belts because the rest of them fell over.

Roy: I’m going to win again! I have to! I know I will! I must!

Wendy: You can’t win again! That would be cheating! You just know the script writer, that’s all!

Roy: Stop spoiling my secret!

At the finish line, Roy and Susan trip before it, while Wendy dives past it for the immunity “Moron” necklace.

Wendy: I won! I won! Script or no script, I won!

Susan: Not again. I’m second again.

Roy: I think I’m second!

Lemmy: It doesn’t matter. Wendy wins immunity!

The Moron Mob members head back to the fake island.

Bowser, Tyrant: Set-up or no set-up, my vote is cast.

Larry, Spy: Everyone knows my vote.

Ludwig, Genius: This vote will take some brains to think about who should get it, aah, maybe not.

Morton, Philosopher (with mouth covered with duct tape): Mmmmph! Mmmmmmmmmph! Mmmm mmph mph mmmmph!

Roy, Heavyweight Contender: Wasn’t that duct tape a good idea?

Susan, Pain in the Neck: If I’m second every time, I’m going to get sick to my stomach.

Wario, Strategist: Strategy! Strategy! I’m Richard the Snake and Rudy the Pig! Or is Rudy the Rat?

Wendy, Beauty Queen: Finally, I’m safe from being voted for, but no one would vote for me anyway, would
they?

Yoshi, Food Analyst: Yoshi told you Wario is sick from his crash diet even though Wario was sick anyway.

The nine remaining losers stumble into the Mass Massacre. They all look food- and sleep-depriven.

Lemmy: It’s nice to see you all looking great! And Morton, you even sound better than usual!

Morton: Mmmmph! Mmmmph!

Lemmy: Wendy, with your “Moron” necklace around your neck, do you feel worried that an alliance could get
built up against you in the next vote?

Wendy: Why would I worry about that?

Lemmy: How about you, Roy? Everyone is going to vote for you tonight. Even I will vote for you tonight. In
fact, you will have to vote for yourself tonight so no one expects you of cheating.

Roy: Me? Cheat? Are you kidding?

Lemmy: Okay, let’s vote.

No one moves.

Lemmy: Okay, let’s vote!

(No one moves.

Lemmy: What’s with you losers? Get up and vote!

Bowser: We’re too tired to get up.

Lemmy: How many times do I have to say it, vote!

Ludwig: Wake us up later.

Lemmy: This happened before, and I almost got fired for taking a nap. Vote, or you’re automatically all out of the competition!

Bowser: Okay, okay, we’ll vote.

Bowser goes to vote.

Larry goes to vote.

Ludwig goes to vote.

Ludwig: I’m going to put my vote for Roy. It took a ton of time to think that one over- alright, actually, it didn’t.

Morton goes to vote.

Morton: Mmmmmmmph! Mmmmph! Mmmph mmph mph mmph!

Roy goes to vote.

Susan goes to vote.

Susan: I’m voting for Roy, 'cause he’s a loser!

Wario goes to vote.

Wario: Strategy! Alliances! Vote together! Aaaaaaah!

Wendy goes to vote.

Yoshi goes to vote.

Lemmy: I’ll go tally the votes.

Lemmy returns with the votes.

Lemmy: The one voted off this time will join our jury, which will be made of seven members who will choose
between who wins the million coins between the final two. Ludwig, you look faint. Are you okay?

Ludwig: Okay, everything will be okay.

Lemmy: Look, loser, stop saying the word okay so much, okay?

Ludwig: Okay.

Lemmy: I hate puns! I hate them! Stop it with them! You’ll be voted off automatically if you don’t stop them!

Ludwig: Okay! Okay! I’ll stop! I’ll stop!

Lemmy: Never mind that hopeless loser. Let’s move on to the votes. The first vote is for... Susan!

The camera tries to zoom in on Susan, but Susan sees it and punches the lens.

Lemmy: The second vote is for... Roy!

Roy: To be expected.

Lemmy: Roy.

Roy: Of course.

Lemmy: Roy.

Roy: Uh oh.

Lemmy: Roy.

Roy: Stop it!

Lemmy: The next vote is for... Susan.

Susan: Huh?

Lemmy: I have another vote for Susan.

Susan: What’s going on now?

Lemmy: The eighth vote is for Susan. We have a four-to-four tie. The final vote is for... Wendy? Who’s the loser who voted for the one with immunity?

Bowser: Oops, I forgot again, uh, change that vote to Susan.

Lemmy: Susan it is, and Susan has been voted off by a vote of five to four. (Yes! Yippee!)

All Others Besides Roy and Bowser (to Roy): Cheater!

Roy: Hey, if I cheat, I might as well win!

Susan: Well, you got to be kidding if you think I’m getting in that cannon.

Lemmy: It’s your only choice. Get in!

Susan: What about this stick?

Lemmy: Hit someone with it.

Susan hits Bowser in the head with her stick.

Lemmy: Now get in the cannon!

Susan: Wait! Wait! I must do something before I go!

Lemmy: What?

Larry: Oh no. Oh no! Not that!

Susan goes to kiss Larry, but Larry kicks her and she goes into the cannon.

Lemmy: Well, Susan, the mass has spoken.

BOOM! Susan goes right into the Pizza Hut sign where- well, you know, all the rest went, and into the lava
for a nice steaming bath.

Lemmy: What a vote! You can head back to your fake- I mean, false- I mean, just go to your island!

The eight remaining losers leave.

Lemmy: This keeps getting better. Mario and Susan are gone. Morton was shut up for once. Now all I need to get rid of is Roy... is this game fixed?

Stupid Cameraman: The host can’t blow our last secret too! Stop it! No!

Who voted for who?
Bowser: Susan (wanted to vote for Wendy, but hated Susan more than Roy)
Larry: Susan (you still know why)
Ludwig: Roy (can’t take him anymore)
Morton: Roy (Roy taped his mouth shut)
Roy: Susan (voted with Wario and Yoshi)
Susan: Roy (sick of Roy)
Wario: Susan (feels that Susan is too strong to keep her)
Wendy: Roy (has wanted to get rid of Roy since Day 1)
Yoshi: Susan (voted with Roy and Wario)

Susan, Pain in the Neck: Larry! Larry! You can’t do this to me and break my heart! No! And by the way, I’m
killing that loser Roy Koopa when I get to the jury.

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