Larry: No! No! No! What a nightmare!

Wendy: What’s the matter with you?

Larry: Oh, it actually was a nightmare. Let’s start the day over again.

Larry: That’s better.

Wendy: Better? That means I haven’t eaten all this time. Not only that, but by the time this is over I probably won’t have any beauty left, and that isn’t fair, because I didn’t want on this stupid show!

Larry: At least you’ll finally be back to average weight.

SLAP!

Ludwig, Genius: Now that everything is set, I’ll have an easy win. If Morton, Wendy, and I vote together, we
can get rid of Wario, because Bowser doesn’t know who to vote for and Larry won’t vote against me. Then
we’ll vote off Yoshi, then turn on Larry and Bowser, and finally I’ll win immunity and vote off Wendy, and
since everyone hates Morton, I’ll win!

Morton, Philosopher: That is completely false. We’ll first vote off Yoshi, then Wario, then Bowser, then turn on Wendy. Larry will win the immunity challenge and vote off Ludwig. Then the others will find room in their hearts to forgive me for my annoying speeches, and they’ll have mercy on me and I will get votes from Roy, Wario, Yoshi, and Ludwig. I will win the million coins and find lots of ways to spend it. First I will...

Wendy: Hey, dreamers, reality check! My alliance with you two is over, and Bowser and I are joining the Wario and Yoshi alliance!

Ludwig: What? No! You just ruined my easy win! Why?!

Wendy: Quit thinking you were going to win and swim across the lava to find out about our immunity
challenge!

Ludwig, Genius: But why did she have to ruin my strategy?

Ludwig swims across the lava and finds Larry.

Ludwig: What are you doing here, trying to escape?

Larry: No, moron, I got hit all the way over here.

Ludwig: Oh no! Roy’s back!

Larry: Not him, Wendy.

Ludwig: Wendy’s turning on my alliance with Morton. We’ll be voted off while that lunatic Wario remains.

Larry: First we should get rid of annoying Koopas like Wendy.

Ludwig: Maybe. She does stupid stuff like turning on our alliance.

Larry: What’s so bad about that? I got slapped all the way across the lava and you care about alliances? You’re almost as bad as Wario. Let’s go back to the islands.

The two swim back to the islands.

Wendy: So, what’s the reward challenge about?

Larry and Ludwig: Reward challenge?!

Wario, Strategist: The food worries for me are over. I keep eating all these burgers and I feel a lot better.

Yoshi, Food Analyst: Wario’s seeing things. There’s no burgers.

Bowser: How many more days, Ludwig?

Ludwig: 14 and a half.

Wendy: For you, there are two and a half days left.

Bowser: Me?!

Wendy: No, this loser here.

Ludwig, Genius: My new invention to remove a Koopaling from the planet Plit may have to be changed to fit
Wendy instead of Roy.

Morton: I want a reward! There are many reasons I should get some rewards, including that I have had to
stand all you losers talking so much!

Wendy: We talk a lot?

Lemmy (from the shore): Hey, losers, what’s taking so long? Come over here to the reward challenge!

Ludwig: Right away!

They all splash into the lava and feel the red-hot temperature of the lava.

Wendy: No fair! We want water!

Lemmy: Here, have some.

Lemmy throws a bucket of water at Wendy.

Wendy: Not that type of water!

The seven remaining losers go to a baseball field. All of them look especially thrilled to see Roy on the
pitcher’s mound.

Wendy: The producer just had to bring him back!

Lemmy: Today’s reward challenge is for a trip for one day to any place in the Mushroom World. Of course,
this any place must be randomly chosen. We aren’t going to let you have fun in a place like Water Land. Our fixed wheel has bigger sections for places like Ice Land and Desert Land.

Morton: Not bad!

Lemmy: All you have to do is hit the most home runs out of five swings. Of course, if the pitch is wild, it’s not my fault; Roy’s the pitcher.

Ludwig: This sounds like fun, with Roy being the one with the baseball.

Lemmy: Not baseballs, but fireballs.

Losers: Fireballs?!

Lemmy: What else? We need something that’s nice and painful. Roy has special gloves to be able to throw
those fireballs. Your special bats will be able to handle them. Now go to the plate, Wendy!

Wendy: I’m not going first. Someone else go.

After three hours of fighting, Wendy pushes Larry to the plate.

Larry: I thought Susan was the only girl I hated...

Roy: Hey, Larry, it’s Mario Party 2!

Roy throws the fireball at Larry’s head.

Lemmy: Strike one!

Losers: Strike one?

Lemmy: Can’t you understand that Roy struck Larry once? It isn’t that hard to understand. Go ahead, Roy!

Larry: Oh no, I lose this challenge. Someone else go.

After three more hours of fighting, Wendy pushes Ludwig to the plate.

Ludwig: No! Not me!

Roy: Hey, Ludwig, how about your campaign to get me voted off?

Roy throws five fireballs all at Ludwig.

Ludwig: Aaaaaaaah! Stop it! No more!

Roy: Fire’s fun!

Lemmy: You’re out, Ludwig. Next!

After three more hours of fighting, Wendy pushes Bowser to the plate.

Bowser: You’re pretty pushy for a-

Roy: Hey, Bowser, how about that vote change?

Roy grabs the bucket of fireballs and throws it at Bowser.

Bowser: Wait! Wait! What about Father’s Day?

Roy: Too bad we don’t have Father’s Day on Plit.

Lemmy: Well, we’re out of fireballs. No one wins!

A fireball bounces off Bowser and hits the bat Yoshi is holding. The fireball goes flying over the fence.

Lemmy: Wait a minute! Yoshi wins this challenge! And Yoshi, who do you want to go with you for this challenge?

Yoshi: Hmmmm. How about Wario?

Wario: What a surprise! What a-

Yoshi: Skip it, Wario.

Lemmy: Let’s spin this wheel to see where you are going.

The wheel spins to the millimeter-long section with “Chocolate Island” on it.

Lemmy: Oh no! You just won a trip to Chocolate Island! That can’t happen! We’ll have to pay a lot more taxes
for this!

Wario: CHOCOLATE!!!

Yoshi: What a dream come true!

Lemmy: Get going! Imagine the pay cut I’m going to have to take to pay for this.

Wario and Yoshi jump in a helicopter with Lemmy.

Lemmy: So long, losers! I’m getting chocolate too! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Wendy: Well, at least he left Roy with us to kill.

Roy: With what?

Wendy: We don’t have any weapons! Oh no!

Roy beats up each Koopaling except Wendy.

Wendy: Now at least Roy knows not to punch ladies.

WHAM! Roy grabs a piece of the fence and slams Wendy in the back with it.

Wendy: OWWWW! I’ll get you yet!

Wendy goes over the fence.

Roy: I just hit a home run! Let me spin the wheel to see where I go!

Roy spins the wheel, and it lands on Desert Land.

Morton: Na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye!

Morton and Ludwig give Roy to the camera crew, who put him on a helicopter to Desert Land.

Wendy: Stop singing songs and let’s go!

Yoshi runs like a vacuum, eating all the chocolate in sight.

Wario: This isn’t fair! No chocolate for Wario! Wario needs chocolate!

Lemmy: When did you start talking like Yoshi?

Wario: Yoshi? Where is he? I’m hungry and there’s no chocolate on Chocolate Island!

Lemmy: Uh oh, you’re right, there isn’t! If Yoshi just ate all the chocolate here, Wendy won’t be happy!

Wario: Neither am I.

Lemmy: Look, Yoshi. Yoshi! Yoshi! Where is that egghead?

Wario: Ha ha! Yoshi lays eggs, and you called him an egghead, and-

SLAP!

Lemmy: Not funny.

Wario: Where is Yoshi?

Lemmy: There he is!

Yoshi is sitting on the ground with an extremely large stomach.

Wario: What happened?

Yoshi: Yoshi still hungry!

Lemmy: Now that Yoshi ate all the chocolate he could, maybe we can get some.

Wario: Not after Yoshi ate half the chocolate on the island... I can’t eat watching Yoshi eat all of that... it makes me sick.

Lemmy: Me too. Let’s find a place to sleep. This island has good weather, so it won’t be that hard.

A blizzard with thunder and lightning suddenly comes to the island.

Lemmy: Roy again!

Roy: At last I have revenge...

Larry: We need a reward. I got one reward and that’s it.

Wendy: Well, we got none! You act like you never got a reward. At least you ate once!

Bowser: Boring, that’s what. Boring.

Ludwig: Stop talking to no one. Hey, what’s that?

A bunch of Bob-ombs start blowing up, causing the remaining islands to fall to pieces too.

Wendy: Now where do we go?

Bowser: We can’t float in the lava!

Stupid Cameraman: Too bad, losers! Ha ha ha!

Morton: This... is... too... hot...

Ludwig: Hey, how about swimming to shore and stealing some of that cameraman’s supplies?

Morton: I... don’t... care...

Ludwig: I’ll go then.

Ludwig swims across the lava and grabs a bunch of boards. Then he swims back with the boards.

Ludwig: Look at these!

Wendy: How do we balance on these boards?

Ludwig: You sit on them, like this:

Ludwig cracks a board by sitting on it.

Ludwig: Must have been a loose board. How about this one?

Wendy: Oh no you don’t. We lighter Koopas can sit on the boards. Come on this one, Larry.

Ludwig: This isn’t fair! I need to go steal something else!

Larry: What’s he doing now?

Ludwig comes back with a wall.

Morton: Where did you get the wall?

Ludwig: Wall? This shouldn’t be a wall. This should be a table.

Ludwig holds a table instead of a wall.

Morton: How are you going to use that? It’s lighter than the board!

Ludwig: This isn’t fair! I need something now!

Bowser: Well, you better get it before I have to get taken off by the helicopter.

Ludwig: Here comes the helicopter!

The helicopter with Lemmy, Wario, and Yoshi comes in.

Lemmy: What’s this wreck?

Ludwig: Bob-ombs caused our islands to crumble.

Lemmy: Crumble? Now what are we going to do with you seven? I’ll give you a boat to stay in until this whole thing’s over.

Lemmy gives the seven losers a falling-apart motorboat.

Wendy: This is better than those boards.

Morton: Or that table that Ludwig thought was a wall and was a wall until he said it was a table which it would have been better if it was a wall because a wall is heavier than a table but a table is not heavier than a wall so a table would not hold us but a wall would hold us-

Lemmy: Shut up!

Bowser: What’s this boat for?

Lemmy: To sit in, you moron!

Bowser: Go home to the dungeon, Lemmy!

Lemmy: Hey, this is better than sitting in lava. It’s not my fault the Bob-ombs blew your place up. Goodbye
for now.

Lemmy leaves the seven losers in the motorboat.

Ludwig: This is incredibly cheap!

Wendy: Where’s the food on this ship?

Wario: Wario needs food!

Wendy: I thought you could eat at Chocolate Island.

Wario: Not if Yoshi ate half the island...

Wendy: My Chocolate Island! That stupid dinosaur! I’ll kill it! Where is it?

Wendy chases Yoshi to the edge of the ship.

Wendy: You ate half my island! I ought to tear you limb from limb!

Yoshi: Wendy hasn’t got time. Here comes an idiot with the immunity challenge poem.

Wendy: A poem? Yes! Forget the island! Yoshi, I wouldn’t lay a hand on you. Such a cute dinosaur. Always bringing good news.

Yoshi, Food Analyst: That idiot is a life-saver.

Ludwig: I don’t want to hear about a stupid challenge.

Idiot: Too bad.

Bowser: We don’t want to hear a dumb poem!

Wendy: I do! I do!

Bowser: That is, only the smart ones don’t want to hear the poem.

Yoshi: Yoshi want a poem and Yoshi isn’t stupid.

Wario: Wario says we vote on it.

Lemmy: Did I hear voting? Hold on a second. I’ll bring the paper, table, and voting box.

Lemmy goes to get the paper, table, and voting box and comes back.

Larry: What about a pen?

Lemmy: I’ll go get that too.

Lemmy goes to get a pen and comes back.

Lemmy: What?

Bowser is talking to Ludwig and Morton about an alliance while Wario, Wendy, and Yoshi are in a huddle
talking about their votes.

Lemmy: Let’s vote.

Bowser goes to vote.

Bowser: I don’t want to hear a dumb poem.

Larry goes to vote.

Ludwig goes to vote.

Morton goes to vote.

Wario goes to vote.

Wendy goes to vote.

Wendy: Hearing a poem would make my day.

Yoshi goes to vote.

Lemmy: Once the votes are read the decision is final; the idiot will either be asked to leave immediately or
read the poem right away. I’ll go tally the votes.

Lemmy reaches across the table to get the votes and comes back.

Lemmy: The first vote is for Poem.

Wendy: That’s mine!

Lemmy: The second vote is for Poem.

Wario: Well, that’s mine.

Lemmy: And the third vote is also for Poem.

Yoshi: That’s Yoshi’s vote!

Lemmy: Now I have a vote for No Poem.

Bowser: Yes.

Lemmy: Another No Poem.

Ludwig: Good.

Lemmy: And a third straight No Poem.

Morton: Wahoo!

Lemmy: We have a tied-up series at three games apiece.

Ludwig: You mean a tied-up vote, don’t you?

Lemmy: Of course. The winner of Game 7 is... Susan?! Susan isn’t in this vote! Larry, I know this is yours.
Change it, please.

Larry: Oh, just change that to No Poem.

Lemmy: No Poem it is, then. Idiot, get out of here!

The idiot jumps off the boat and takes a lava bath before he swims away.

Lemmy: Now that you losers are so stupid, you won’t know what the immunity challenge will be about. So
tough luck because I’m not telling you anything about the dumb challenge.

Larry: Not anything?

Lemmy: Nope. So goodbye until tomorrow.

Ludwig: What a dumb vote!

Bowser: I’d like to change my vote.

Lemmy: Too bad! Goodbye!

Lemmy leaves the falling-apart motorboat.

Who voted for what?
Bowser: No Poem
Larry: No Poem
Ludwig: No Poem
Morton: No Poem
Wario: Poem
Wendy: Poem
Yoshi: Poem

Poem: I’m going on strike for this vote.
Because of those losers on that boat,
Lemmy and his crew will soon pay
As I, the poem, will no longer stay!

Larry: I’m voting you off, Susan!

Ludwig: Susan isn’t here, genius!

Larry: Then Roy.

Ludwig: Roy isn’t here either!

Larry: Then Ludwig.

Ludwig: Wait a minute! How are you, Susan? Hey, Roy, isn’t this fun?

Larry, Spy: Ludwig is the first genius with an IQ of 30.

Morton: We’re the Moron Mob on a messed-up motorboat with men with mental problems taping every time we morons move. How about that alliteration, Wendy?

Wendy: Not amusing.

Wario: What’s alliteration?

Wendy, Beauty Queen: My dreams of hearing a nice poem were stolen when that loser Larry had to change his vote to make us not hear a poem. Not to mention the fact that now we’re not going to know what to do at
the challenge.

Wario, Strategist: If the alliances from the poem vote stay the same, either Wendy, Yoshi, or I will be voted
off. That means I must earn immunity or else!

Bowser: I wonder what these controls do...

Bowser hits a button on the boat.

Ludwig: Any sap would know that raises the sails to the boat.

Bowser: Why would a motorboat need sails?

Ludwig: Because this was one of these motor boats bought at one of those second- or third-hand stores.
It doesn’t really matter. Any imbecile would know that a motorboat doesn’t need sails.

Bowser: Look up there!

Larry is sitting on the top of the sails.

Ludwig: What are you doing up there?

Larry: Come here!

Ludwig: I think he wants you.

Larry: Both of you!

The two try to jump up to the top but tear the sails down with Larry.

Larry: Now look what you did!

Ludwig: I know. Those were perfectly good sails.

Larry: No! You got me injured.

Bowser: That doesn’t matter. Let’s go back to pushing buttons.

Larry, Spy: Some help those two are. I get hurt and they care about useless sails and buttons. Maybe I should vote against one of them...

Ludwig: Here’s a nice button.

Bowser: What’s that for?

Ludwig: To speed up the motorboat.

Larry: What kind of motor boat runs by computer controls?

Ludwig: One of these messed-up ones, that’s what.

The motor boat goes crashing onto the shore and takes off on the street.

Bowser: Hey! We’re going crazy.

Ludwig: Maybe you are, but me...

Bowser: No! The boat, you moron! The boat!

Ludwig: For some reason it started to slow down.

Larry: It’s on land, that’s why.

Wendy: What’s going on?

Ludwig: The boat started to run onto the land.

Wendy: Stop touching those buttons!

Wario: Why are we on land?

Larry: Because of that loser Ludwig, that’s why.

Lemmy: What are you doing on the street? Are you trying to cheat?

Ludwig: No, but I...

Lemmy: You can all come to the immunity challenge now and fix the boat later.

Larry: Let’s go, Ludwig, so you can stop ruining this boat.

Yoshi, Food Analyst: There better be food at immunity challenge or Yoshi will be mad at losers in charge of
this whole thing.

Morton: What happened? I was asleep.

Wendy: LET’S GO!

The seven remaining losers appear at the immunity challenge and are all shocked by what they see.

Bowser: Some kind of obstacle course... hmmm...

There is an obstacle course followed by a court with seven baskets and seven Hoopsters, which is then
followed by a table with heavy weights on the table, followed by a long jump with a finish line at the very end.

Morton: This looks very familiar to me.

Wendy: Have we seen this before?

Lemmy: Some of you might have. But since you voted down the poem, you will not be told what to do in this
immunity challenge.

Wendy: Why not?

Lemmy: You hurt the poem’s feelings. It walked out on us.

Larry, Spy: I thought we were the only ones going crazy.

Ludwig: What do you mean “it walked out on us”?

Lemmy: The poem went on strike. It will no longer air on our show unless we give it a labor contract.

Ludwig, Genius: He’s off the deep end, all right.

Lemmy: Losers ready, go!

The seven losers look at each other, then take off towards the obstacle course. After making it past the first part of it easily, the seven have a little trouble climbing vines on the obstacle course, but then are able to swim through the water that is at the end of the obstacle course with ease. They are all just about tied through the end of the obstacle course.

Larry: This is easy!

Morton: What do we do with the Hoopsters?

Ludwig: We throw them at each other, like this...

Wendy: No! No! You throw them in the baskets!

Morton: I see. Thanks!

Morton takes the lead and moves on to the next part. The rest follow behind him to some heavy weights on a table.

Ludwig: Do we throw these at each other?

Wendy: No! No! We pick these weights up.

Ludwig: That’s easy.

Ludwig, Bowser, Wario, and Morton easily pick up the weights. The other three can not, and Lemmy
disqualifies them from the immunity challenge. The final four move on to the triple jump, which consists of jumping over a high bar into a pipe and coming out of the pipe and running to the finish line.

Wario: I can’t jump that high!

Ludwig: Neither can I...

Bowser and Morton make it through the pipe and race for the finish line. At the end, Morton beats Bowser
by far.

Lemmy: Morton wins immunity!

Morton: I win! You lose! I am victorious! I am the winner! You are the loser! Ha ha ha!

Lemmy: Shut up, Morton, and the rest of you go back to that falling-apart boat and meet me later for Mass
Massacre.

Bowser, Tyrant: I can’t believe I lost.

Larry, Spy: I can’t believe Morton won.

Ludwig, Genius: No one will beat me! I have an unbreakable alliance! Ha ha ha!

Morton, Philosopher: My first win of an immunity challenge for myself has proven to be a very safe protection of me so I am not the one voted off and-

Wario, Strategist: Shut up, Morton!

Wendy, Beauty Queen: There is no way anyone would be mad at me... well, maybe not anyone... but, I am safe... I hope...

Yoshi, Food Analyst: Yoshi still hungry!

The seven remaining losers file into their seats. Susan and Roy also come in.

Lemmy: This is our two-Koopa jury. Some other loser will join them after tonight’s vote. The jury is not to be-

Ludwig: We know, we know.

Lemmy: Ludwig, I’ll start with you.

Ludwig: You better not, or I’ll-

Lemmy: Never mind you. Bowser, you just missed winning the immunity challenge by a race with Morton. How do you feel about that?

Bowser: Stupid.

Lemmy: No, not the way you always feel, the way you feel about that?

Bowser: As I said, stupid.

Lemmy: Never mind you either. Morton, no, not you either. How about you, Wario?

Wario: It doesn’t affect my strategy.

Lemmy: Let’s just vote!

Bowser goes to vote.

Larry goes to vote.

Larry: I’m voting for Wario, because I’m sick of that fat one being around.

Ludwig goes to vote.

Morton goes to vote.

Morton: I’m voting for Wario, because he is fat, overweight, obese, portly, stout, jumbo, large, big, extra large, and just a waste of space!

Wario goes to vote.

Wendy goes to vote.

Yoshi goes to vote.

Yoshi: Yoshi voting for that moron Ludwig.

Stupid Cameraman: Loser Ludwig sounds better.

Yoshi: Loser Ludwig it is, then.

Lemmy: I’ll go tally the votes.

As Lemmy walks across the bridge, the boards crack and Lemmy falls through. He returns with the votes in a
wheelchair three hours later.

Lemmy: I’ll get over these broken legs in a few days. But I just knew I should have used my ball! Oh, well, first vote is for Ludwig!

Ludwig: Who voted for me?

Lemmy: Second vote is for Wario!

Wario: So what?

Lemmy: The third vote is for Wario as well!

Wario: Stop those votes!

Lemmy: The fourth vote is for Ludwig!

Ludwig: Stop the suspense and get it over with!

Lemmy: The fifth vote is for Ludwig!

Ludwig: Could you stop?

Lemmy: With this sixth vote being for Wario, we have another three-three tie.

Wario: It’s always 3-3 going into the 7th vote.

Lemmy: The final vote is for...

Lemmy holds up a piece of paper with the names Bowser, Larry, Ludwig, Morton, Wario, Wendy and Yoshi on it.

Lemmy: I know this is yours, Bowser. Who do you want to vote for?

Bowser: Ludwig.

Ludwig: NO! Not me!

Lemmy: With the seventh vote being for Ludwig, you have been voted off, Ludwig, and it’s time for you to
break your...

Ludwig breaks the stick over Bowser’s head.

Lemmy: ... and jump in the cannon.

Ludwig: Not me!

Lemmy throws a circus ball at Ludwig.

Ludwig: I refuse!

Wendy pokes Ludwig in the back with her stick.

Ludwig: I still refuse!

Roy gets off his seat and starts to walk over.

Ludwig: I surrender, I surrender!

Lemmy: Now jump in the cannon!

Ludwig jumps in the cannon and... BOOM! Ludwig goes through that stupid sign the rest went through.

Lemmy: The mass has spoken. You can head back to your pathetic boat.

Ludwig, Genius: I thought smarts and brains won championships. Oh, I forgot, defense wins championships! Then Morton better not win immunity again... or...

Who voted for who?
Bowser: Ludwig (voted for everyone to make sure his vote would count, but hated Ludwig the most)
Larry: Wario (sick of “that fat one” being around)
Ludwig: Wario (wants the fat stupid one to go away)
Morton: Wario (see above)
Wario: Ludwig (voted on strategy)
Wendy: Ludwig (voted with Wario and Yoshi)
Yoshi: Ludwig (voted with Wario and Wendy)

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