Go see the original story.

Larry: I’m voting you off, Susan!

Susan: I just love him!

Bowser, Tyrant: Since that moron Ludwig decided to give that Mario Gang the can opener, we still haven’t
eaten any good food in seven days.

Iggy: Lemmy’s absolutely crazy if he thinks we can goall these days without anything good besides that stuff he gave us at the immunity challenge.

Roy: I’m going to beat you up, Iggy!

Iggy: There’s no reason to warn me because I’m so used to it.

Ludwig, Genius: As soon as this stupid show is over, Lemmy will be getting the worst punishment ever!

Morton: When will this stupid dumb moronic imbecilic idiotic show be over?

Wendy: In only 35 more days.

Some loser knocks on the door.

Bowser: What’s that stupid knocking at the door?

Larry: I don’t care, and even if I did I still wouldn’t answer it.

Bowser: Dungeon, Larry!

Larry: How many times do we have to tell you, there’s no dungeon!

Bowser: I don’t care, just go to the dungeon!

Bowser, Tyrant: These morons are better off in the dungeon than here when I get mad.

The loser who is knocking at the door finally pushes it over.

Wendy: Who are you?

Loser: I’m here to tell you about the reward challenge.

Wendy: No one cares! We’ll go to the stupid challenge tomorrow, so just leave!

Loser: But- but-

Roy comes over and throws the loser out of the building.

Loser: All I wanted to say is that they could have this bucket of buffalo wings and that there’s a dumb
challenge about food tomorrow. Oh well, I’ll give these to the Mario Gang.

Ludwig (looking out the window at the loser): Roy, you imbecile! You just threw that man with all those wings
out of this room! We could have had good food if it wasn’t for you!

Ludwig, Genius: I’m voting Roy off and I’m also going to pay everyone here to vote him off too.

Roy, Heavyweight Contender: Now that everyone’s going to vote me off, I might as well beat up on everyone
here!

Iggy: Hey, I wonder why Morton didn’t say that much?

Morton has his teeth stuck in a can he is trying to open.

Susan: I’ll get that out of your mouth!

Susan kicks Morton in the back. The can opens up, flies out of his mouth, and goes out the window.

Larry, Spy: There’s another reason why Susan needs voted off.

Morton, Philosopher: If Susan hadn’t have kicked me, the can would still be here and we could all be
enjoying food that would taste very good and we would not be hungry anymore and we could enjoy ourselves and-

Susan kicks Morton again.

Morton, Philosopher: What a-

Mario, Moron: Yahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Peach, Princess: That moron! If I win, I’ll pay him the million dollars if he’d leave me alone forever!

Yoshi: Yoshi want more food!

Wario: Well, Yoshi not getting anymore food because Yoshi ate all our food overnight!

Wario, Strategist: If I talk on Yoshi’s level, maybe he’ll form an alliance with me.

The King: Anyone call for me?

Wario: No, you moron! We want you to join Toad and Luigi!

The King: Okay. Now just give me a cannon and I’ll go.

Waluigi, Scaredy Cat: That king is so stupid, there’s no use in even trying to vote him off. He’ll never make it past me in this whole dumb game.

Peach: These dumb overalls are stupid!

Wario: Well, you don’t have to keep on repeating yourself.

Peach: But I-

Wario: Just shut up!

Peach, Princess: If he thinks he’s going to win talking like that to me, he’s-

Mario hops by with his left foot in his mouth.

Peach: What’s the matter with you?

Mario: I have the foot-and-mouth disease!

Peach: If you don’t shut up you’ll have a lot more diseases!

Mario: I already do!

Peach, Princess: That’s the first time ever he actually said something that was of any insight at all.

The King: Wheeeee!

Waluigi: What is he doing?

Wario: He thinks he’s getting blasted out of a cannon. Really, he’s just acting like an idiot.

Waluigi: Makes a lot of sense to me.

The same loser from before knocks on the door.

Peach: Hey, who’s this?

Wario: The same loser from before.

Peach: From before when?

Wario: Oops! I mean some loser.

Waluigi: Don’t open that door! It might be a ghost! I’m scared of ghosts!

Wario: Look, for once and for all we’ll show you that there are no ghosts behind doors. Say, is there?

Peach looks all scared.

Wario: Well, you two go first. I’ll be right behind you.

Peach opens the door and sees the loser wiping his face off with a large white towel.

Peach, Wario, and Waluigi: Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!

The three of them jump underneath the couch.

Loser: What?

He throws the towel off.

Yoshi: Yum, wings for Yoshi!

Yoshi eats the entire bucket of wings, including the bucket itself.

Loser: Wait! Those were for-

Yoshi: Yeah, yeah, there is a reward challenge tomorrow. Yoshi know!

Loser: What’s with these morons?

The King comes by and grabs him.

Loser: What now?

The King: Let’s go on a cannon ride!

Loser: But, but-

The King pushes him out the window.

The King: Wasn’t that fun?

Loser: Very fun.

Mario: Lemieux!

Yoshi: What does that mean?

Mario: If you read the script, you’ll read Mario Lemieux!

Yoshi, Food Analyst: Mario need help!

Larry: Even Morton cannot think of enough words to describe how much I want to vote you off, Susan!

Susan: He loves me! He really loves me!

Larry: I can’t take it any more!

Morton, Philosopher: Larry hates, detests, dislikes, abhores, loathes, despises, and scorns Susan. As for me, I-

Stupid Cameraman: We don’t have enough time or tape for your stupid statement.

Morton, Philosopher: Oh, sorry.

Wendy, Beauty Queen: This stupid adventure show thing is getting on my nerves and it is taking away my
beauty slowly. Wait a minute! Nothing could ever hide my beauty.

Iggy, Paperweight: I am sick to death of waiting for the dumb challenge thing to start! When is it going to
start?

Script Writer: In eight lines from here.

Iggy: Great!

Bowser: Roy, if you wouldn’t have thrown that loser out the window, and Susan, if you wouldn’t have kicked
Morton, and Ludwig, if you didn’t exist, I wouldn’t be starving right now.

Ludwig: Thanks, Dad!

Roy: It’s not my fault. That guy deserved to be thrown out the window. Why, I bet he was thrown out the
window twice yesterday.

Iggy: Mind if I cut in? It’s challenge time!

Both Mario Gang and Koopa Troop are sitting around on chairs making mean faces at each other, except for
Mario, who is too stupid to even know what making a face is.

Lemmy: I see you losers hate each other already, even only after eight days.

Bowser: Roar!

Peach: That’s an understatement.

Ludwig: By the way, Lemmy, why was the challenge today and not yesterday?

Lemmy: I’ve been waiting for you since yesterday. The loser who gave you the message told you the challenge was last night. I fell asleep waiting for you to show up.

Roy: The loser? Oh yeah, him. Oh well, I’ll just beat up on Iggy later.

Iggy: Why?

Roy: No reason.

Lemmy: Well, your antipathy against each other will grow after this challenge.

Waluigi: What does antipathy mean?

Mario: What does grow mean?

Lemmy: As for your question, Waluigi, antipathy means hate. As for your question, Mario, you’re a moron!

Mario: Thank you.

Lemmy: You’re welcome, moron.

Peach: What a loser.

Lemmy: Now what I was trying to say-

Roy: Get on with it, you moron!

Lemmy: As I was trying to say-

Ludwig: Just say it!

Lemmy: The reward challenge is- wait a minute. The loser told you what to do. So I don’t need to waste my
time telling you what to do. Losers, ready! Go!

The losers stare at each other in shock, except for Mario, who doesn’t understand the concept of shock.
They look at the large stone table in front of them, which has a ton of Hot Foot and Firesnakes on it with
some buckets of water on the sides of the table.

Roy: What do we do with these Hot Foots- or Hot Feet?

Lemmy: The loser told you, so just do it, you moron!

Roy picks up the Hot Foot and gets burned.

Roy: Yeow! Hey, Lemmy, this isn’t fair!

Lemmy: This show isn’t supposed to be fair; it’s supposed to make money for the stupid TV network. Now
get going before our ratings go down lower than the XFL’s!

Iggy: I have an idea. Let’s throw  the Firesnakes at Mario!

Bowser: NO!

Iggy: Why not?

Bowser: That’s my idea, not yours. Give me one of those Firesnakes!

Iggy hands a Firesnake to him.

Bowser: Yeow! You idiot! Now look what you did to my hands! The helicopter will have to come and pick me
up.

Larry: That sounds great! Then we won’t have to vote.

Ludwig: But we’d also lose a member of our team... wait a minute! Where’s that helicopter?

Bowser: Oh no you don’t. I’m not a quitter over a little burn. You aren’t ejecting me from this stupid show yet.

Mario: This is fun!

Mario is picking up the Firesnakes and Hot Foot and putting them down his own pants.

Peach: What a moron.

Wario: I wonder what these buckets are for?

Waluigi picks up the bucket and puts it over his head.

Wario: Not for that, you dummy!

Yoshi: Yoshi know what to do!

(Yoshi drinks the water in all the buckets.

Yoshi: Yum!

Lemmy is rolling on the ground laughing.

Lemmy: That’s it! That’s enough entertainment! None of you losers know what to do. Forget the reward! Go
home, you losers! Ha ha ha!

The two teams go back to their rooms, except for Mario, who found a home plate in the props and is sitting on it.

Peach: What are you doing?

Mario: I’m going home, like Lemmy said.

Peach: Let’s go back to our room.

She grabs him by the ear and they leave.

Lemmy: What losers! All they had to do was pour the water from the buckets on the Firesnakes and Hot Foot
on their side of the table and they would win an entire truckload full of buffalo wings, steak, pizza, and pop, but they decided to put on a comedy show instead! Ha ha!

Mario: Yippee! Mamamia! Let’s-a go! Hee hee! I got it! Owowowow! Whoooooaaa!

Peach: What now, little man?

Mario: I’m memorizing my lines for Mario Kart 64!

Peach: But we already did Mario Kart 64!

Mario: We did?

Peach, Princess: If he doesn’t stop the moron act, we’ll vote him off before tomorrow.

The same loser from the day before knocks on the door.

Wario: Who is it?

Waluigi: Suppose it’s another ghost?

Wario: You’re crazy. If we want to win this whole thing, we can’t be scared of ghosts.

Waluigi, Scaredy Cat: I didn’t hide for years for nothing. Ghosts are scary!

Wario: Open the door, Yoshi!

Yoshi: Yoshi want more wings!

Wario: What wings?

Yoshi opens the door.

Loser: Hey, you!

Yoshi: Get off of my cloud!

Loser: What? Anyway, I’ve got to say this stupid thing.

Yoshi: What is it?

Loser: Of all of the challenges this is the bomb,
Just throw the Bob-ombs in and all will be calm,
If your opponent’s bomb is the first to blow up,
They will all want to belch and throw up!

Yoshi: Whatever. When is this thing?

Loser: Tomorrow. So long!

The King: Wait! Wait!

Loser: What now?

The King: I have a new game to play.

Loser: What?

The King: It’s called high jumping.

Loser: Where do I jump?

The King: Out this window.

Loser: Okay.

The loser jumps out the window.

The King: Bye bye!

Mario: I want to be an Oscar Meyer-

Peach: Stop it with your stupid songs!

Peach, Princess: Oh, if only Mario had been voted off and not Luigi! I’d much rather be with Luigi than this
moron!

Mario: Did someone call me?

The King, King: I think this whole show is a hoax.

Stupid Cameraman: Shut up, you dummy!

Larry: I’m- uh oh, here is Susan. I’d better keep quiet.

Susan: About your love for me?

Larry: No, never mind.

Morton, Philosopher: As the days in this place go by, I feel that we Koopas as a family will grow closer
together and will once and for all be able to express our love, compassion, affection, and concern for each
other’s needs and we will know each other much better in a great, excellent, extraordinary, and wonderful
way.

Iggy: Yeah, right.

Roy: Time for your beating, Iggy!

Iggy: Oh boy! Fun fun!

Bowser, Tyrant: That imbecile Iggy has my hands all messed up. I’ll make sure Roy beats him badly and I
might have to change my vote for Roy to vote for him-

Bowser sees Roy wrecking the place where he sleeps.

Bowser, Tyrant: Nah!

Roy: This is fun, isn’t it, Iggy?

Iggy: Yeah. Lots of fun. Yahoo.

The good 'ol loser knocks on the door.

Wendy: Come in.

Loser: Here are my lines to tell you to come to tomorrow’s challenge:

Of all of the challenges this is the bomb,
Just throw the Bob-ombs in and all will be calm,
If your opponent’s bomb is the first to blow up,
They will all want to belch and throw up!

Ludwig: Convincing enough.

Roy: Now for your toss out the window!

Loser: Oh no! Not that!

Roy: Here you go!

The loser flies out the window.

Loser: Ouch. I’m quitting this show. Lemmy better have a replacement for Sumo Brother, the owner of the
police department of this city.

Ludwig (overhearing his speech): There’s that Sumo Brother who works for Peach and arrests us and beats
us up all the time! He was the loser we always beat up!

Wendy: Well, well, well, Ludwig and Roy. Have fun with your next arrest and beating!

Roy: Quiet, Wendy. He’ll hear us and beat us up now.

Susan: By the way, what was the whole challenge about?

All eight Koopas look at each other.

Susan, Pain in the Neck: No one knows again.

Larry, Spy: I’m going to whisper this time. I am voting off Susan.

Susan: What a romantic Koopa!

Larry: ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

Susan, Pain in the Neck: Larry tries to hide his love, but he never will.

Roy, Heavyweight Contender: The worst thing about this whole show is that our TV doesn’t work. I can’t watch the Koopa Hockey League Finals!

Ludwig: Hey, Roy, I just got the TV to work!

Roy: Great!

TV: Well, that’s all for the last game of the season. See you next year!

Roy: NOOOOOO!!!

Roy throws the TV out the window.

TV (on the way down): By the way, we’ll be showing the game again after this commercial break- ZZZZZTTTT! BOOM!

The TV explodes.

Ludwig: Good job, Roy!

Roy: Thanks, Ludwig!

Ludwig, Genius: That loser! If he doesn’t get the game he wants, he throws a fit. Now we won’t be able to
watch anything except each other... how exciting.

Bowser, Tyrant: When will this thing end?

Iggy, Paperweight: Roy hasn’t beat me up yet today!

Roy: Hey, Iggy! Time for your-

Iggy: I know, I know. We must lose that immunity challenge!

Mario, Moron: It’s time for our show, Who Wants to be a Moron?

Peach, Princess: It’s also time for Mario to get a toupee with some brains in it.

Yoshi: Wario, Waluigi, The King, this is boring!

The King: Not for me, Yoshi!

Wario: What do you do?

The King: I play sports. Want to play baseball?

Waluigi: Oh no.

Wario: What’s your bat?

The King: Mario.

Wario: And what’s your ball?

The King: Peach’s overalls. She now has on some maid’s dress she found in the closet.

Peach walks over to them.

Wario: Nyah! Put the overalls back on! You look more like Pigpen!

Peach: What’s a pig pen?

Wario: Never mind. That’s the dirtiest dress I’ve ever seen.

Peach: Thanks.

Yoshi: By the way, Yoshi hungry!

Waluigi: Time for the challenge, everyone!

The two groups, Koopa Troop and Mario Gang, arrive at the immunity challenge, where they find Lemmy still
laughing about yesterday’s mishap.

Lemmy: Are you losers back for more laughter? That is, my own laughter? Ha ha ha ha ha!

Wario, Strategist: I don’t see what’s so funny.

Lemmy: In this immunity challenge, oh yeah, wait a minute, let me see what I’m supposed to say next, oh yes, give me the immunity piece of junk, Bowser!

Bowser knocks Lemmy on the head with it.

Lemmy: Thanks. I needed that. Now, anyway, here’s the rules... you must put your Bob-ombs into your
opponents’ huge Bob-omb container that looks like a Bob-omb. You walk over these long Donut Lift walkways over the lava with your Bob-ombs already wound up and about to blow up in your bucket that you hold around your neck. If you fall into the lava, get blown up, or get choked by the bucket, I am not responsible for any injuries. Losers ready, go!

(The teams run into each other and they all fall over.)

Lemmy: Gah ha ha! What morons!

Larry gets up and kicks Lemmy.

Lemmy: I’ll vote you off... wait a minute, I’m the host of this stupid show!

Roy is the first to go across the Donut Lifts for the Koopa Troop. His heavy weight causes the first Donut
Lift to sink instantly. By luck, he manages to make it across the Lifts and place his Bob-omb in the Mario Gang’s Bob-omb container. He then stumbles across the Lifts back to the island.

Lemmy: Good job, Roy! Keep on going!

Mario jumps into the lava.

Mario: This is nice! I’ll sit here all day!

Peach: Let’s just leave him there, guys. Go ahead, Yoshi!

After a long time of Koopas and losers falling into the lava, getting blown up and getting choked by the bucket, the Koopa Troop leads by one Bob-omb and has only one to go. The burned up, blown up, and choked up Roy Koopa is next for the Koopa Troop.

Wendy: Go Roy!

Susan: Let’s win this and go back to the dump!

(Roy makes it and the Mario Gang’s Bob-omb container blows up, leaving eight happy Koopa Troop members and six happy Mario Gang members, happy to have to vote someone off.)

Bowser: Well, I have to say this much, Roy won our immunity challenge today. Let’s congratulate him.

All other six members besides Roy start punching him.

Ludwig: Good job, Roy!

Iggy: Nice one, Roy!

Roy: What is this?

Bowser: This is your reward for not getting voted off tonight. We’ll have to deal with you for at least three more days.

Mario, Moron: Wahoo! That sauna bath was nice, but this bed of spikes is nicer!

Peach, Princess: I made him that bed last night out of materials in this closet.

Wario, Strategist: I must form an alliance with someone to keep myself going farther in this game. Maybe Yoshi can help...

Waluigi, Scaredy Cat: I’m scared of voting! Not of being voted off, but of the concept of voting!

Yoshi, Food Analyst: That challenge was almost as exciting as an episode of Iron Chef!

The King, King: I’m a moron, just like Mario!

The six members of the Mario Gang head for the Mass Massacre and each hit the gong. Mario is last, and he
ends up placing the gong on his head and getting it stuck in it.

Lemmy: Let me just say it to you Mario; you’re a moron.

Mario: Thank you.

Lemmy: You’re welcome, moron.

Peach: What a loser.

Lemmy: Wario, how do you feel about the way your fellow Mario Gang members have treated you?

Wario: Let’s just say it hasn’t been good.

Lemmy: What about you, Waluigi?

Waluigi: I’m scared of them.

Lemmy: And you, Peach?

Peach: They’re a bunch of imbeciles!

Lemmy: I know you’ll all be heartbroken to see another member leave.

They all roll their eyes..

Lemmy: But that’s part of the game! Let’s vote!

Mario goes to vote.

Peach goes to vote.

Peach: I’m voting for Mario, because he’s such a moron and I can’t take his antics much longer.

The King goes to vote.

Wario goes to vote.

Waluigi goes to vote.

Waluigi: I’m voting for The King, because I’m scared of him the most.

Yoshi goes to vote.

Lemmy: I’ll go tally the votes.

As Lemmy goes to tally the votes, Mario starts running around the fire screaming those messed-up sounds that are in the Survivor theme song.

Lemmy: The first vote is for... Mario!

The camera focuses in on Mario, but since he is such a hideous sight, the camera quickly moves back to Lemmy.

Lemmy: The second vote is for... Mario!

The stupid cameraman doesn’t even want to look at Mario this time. He moves the camera to the fire itself.

Lemmy: The third vote is for... Mario!

Mario jumps up and down.

Mario: Oh boy! I might be president!

Lemmy: (Yes! One more vote and I finally get revenge on Mario for good!)

Lemmy: The next vote is for, oh no, The King?

The camera focuses in on The King.

Lemmy: The next vote is for, The King?! (This last vote must be for Mario.) The final vote is for... The King?!

The King: Rats!

Mario: Yes!

Lemmy: I want a recount.

Peach: Go ahead, Al Gore.

Wario: Hey, wait a minute, I voted for Al Gore!

Waluigi: So did I! Every vote counts!

Lemmy: Enough about the president, we are going to revote. Everyone except Mario and The King votes. Go ahead and vote!

Peach goes to vote.

Peach: No change here.

Wario goes to vote.

Waluigi goes to vote.

Waluigi: I am not changing my vote.

Yoshi goes to vote.

Lemmy: I will go retally the votes.

Lemmy goes to vote... wait a minute... Lemmy can’t vote!

Lemmy: Oh yes I can!

Koopa Burnett: If you do I’ll fire you!

Lemmy: Alright, okay, I won’t vote.

Lemmy comes back to the Mario Gang, half of which are fast asleep.

Lemmy: The first vote is for... Mario! Yes!

Mario: Yes!

Lemmy: The second vote is for... The King. Rats!

The King: Huh?

Lemmy: That’s what I’m saying. The third vote is for... oh no... The King?!

The King: Rats!

Lemmy: If this vote isn’t for Mario, I’m going to be furious. The final vote is for... The King. The King, take your stick and knock it on the head of-

The King hits Mario on the head.

Lemmy: Get in the cannon.

The King: This is fun!

Lemmy: The mass has spoken.

The King blasts off again, right past where Toad and Luigi were blasted.

Lemmy: You can head back to your room. I’m furious, to say the least.

The King, King: I wanted to win the coins, but I also wanted to blast off, just like those morons known as Team Rocket!

Who voted for who?
Mario: The King (random vote)
Peach: Mario (1st time) (he’s a moron) Mario (2nd time) (he’s still a moron)
The King: Mario (random vote)
Wario: Mario (1st time) (trying to form alliance with Peach) The King (2nd time) (thinks Mario will be easier to vote off later)
Waluigi: The King (1st time) (he’s scared of The King) The King (2nd time) (he’s even more scared of The King now than he was before)
Yoshi: The King (1st time) (The King won’t let him eat much) The King (2nd time) (Mario doesn’t care how much he eats)

Think you can finish a story? Email me your Trimmings!
Go back to Lemmy's Trimmings.
Go back to Lemmy's Land.