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Chapter 5: The Pink Yoshi Strikes Again!

Yoshi: I don’t like this; I don’t like this one bit.

Kam: Okay, what’s the matter now?

Yoshi: We just went through an entire area without gaining a new party member, AND the only fight we got into was the boss fight! You know what this means? There’s going to be at least a sixth area we have to go through to keep the action up!

Kam: ... That actually makes a bit of sense.

WT: Okay, guys, the final Star Thingy is at Poshley Heights. The good news: it’s easy to get to. The bad news: Lord Crump and Kamek have sent their best men  to... take care of you.

Yoshi: Kamek and Crump? What do they want with us?

Carl: 0h! 1 k/\/0\/\/! B3f0r3 Shr00b1g1 t00k 0\/3r, B0\/\/53r a/\/d Gr0dus tr13d t0 t/\k3 0\/3r f0r th3/\/\s3l\/3s! /\/0\/\/ th/\t Shr00b1g1 1s d3ad, th3r3's n0b0dy 3ls3 t0 st0p th3m!

Yoshi: WHAT?!

WT: You mean you didn’t know WHY you were collecting all these Thingys? Bowser and Grodus decided to team up and take over the world!

Yoshi: WHAT?! How am I supposed to know this stuff?!

WT: Did you ever ask?

Kam: ... He’s got a point.

Yoshi: Fine; you win that round, WT. But how do they even know about us?

Carl: Y0u’r3 g01/\/g t0 l/\ugh... Cru/\/\p 0\/\/n3d t3h F/\(t0ry 0f /\/\3/\/a(1/\/g D3\/1(3s, /\nd Ka/\/\3k’s /\/\ag1( p0\/\/3rs Sup3r Fu510/\/ Typ0 /\/\a/\/!

Yoshi: Oh... snap.

Shawn: Come on; let’s get to Poshley Heights before those bad guys knock us off!

And so, Yoshi’s party uses Carl’s Time Machine/Automobile to get to Poshley Heights. However, Crump and Kamek are just leaving Poshley Sanctum with the Thingy in hand.

Crump: Buh huh huh huh! We’ve got the 5th Star Thingy! And now all we have to do is take the other four from Yoshi and hand them over to our bosses!

Kamek: And speak of the dino, there he is now! Crump, you should take the Thingy back to Castle Shroomenshire, while I deal with these rapscallions!

Crump: Right-oh!

Crump starts to run away with the Star Thingy while Kamek approaches the group.

*Battle!*
Kamek: You’ll be sorry you messed with us!

Yoshi: 40/40
Attack: Advanced Flutter Kick
Kamek takes 6 damage
6 damage.
6 damage.
6 damage.
6 damage.
6 damage.
6 damage.

Shawn: 35/35
Attack: Tattle Plus
Shawn: That’s Kamek, King Bowser’s head Magikoopa... unless you count Kammy. He’s got a max of 50 HP, no defense, and an attack of 5.  He’s weak against Fire, and strong against Ice. After winning, we are supposed to gain almost enough EXP to level up, though not quite. This guy’s so pathetic, we’ve almost beaten him already!

Kamek: 8/50
Attack: Protect
Kamek is protected by a barrier for 2 more turns.

Yoshi: 40/40
Attack: Stomp
Kamek takes 0 damage.
Yoshi: I had a feeling that barrier was one of those “Blocks Any Attack” kinds.

Shawn: 35/35
Tactic: Defend
Shawn’s defense rises by 1!

Kamek: 8/50
Attack: Drain
Shawn blocks.
Shawn takes 8 damage.
Kamek regains 8 HP.
Kamek is protected by a barrier for 1 more turn.

Yoshi: 40/40
Tactic: Switch
Carl is now in battle.
Yoshi: I’ve got to save my strength for the chapter’s final boss fight!
Carl: Y3/\h, r1ght!

Shawn: 27/35
Tactic: Defend
Shawn’s defense rises by 1!

Kamek: 16/50
Attack: Drain
Carl superguards.
Carl takes 0 damage.
Kamek regains 0 HP.
Kamek’s barrier disappears.

Carl: 40/40
Attack: All Your Base
Carl: ALL YOUR BASE! ALL YOUR BASE! ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!
Kamek: Ack, not Engrish! That’s worse than leet!
Kamek takes 8 damage.

Shawn: 27/35
Attack: Hammer Strike
Kamek takes 8 damage.
Kamek is defeated!

Yoshi wins! He gains as much EXP as needed to be just one point less than that needed to level up!

Kamek: Lord Bowser... I have... failed you.

Kamek collapses.  He’s not dead, just plain old tired from the battle.

Yoshi: Come on; let’s go to Castle Shroomenshire and get the Thingy back!

Kam: Wait; I have a better idea! We’ll sneak in with disguises, get past the guards that will most likely be surrounding the area, and then nab the Thingy without being detected!

Shawn: That sounds better to me, but exactly who are we going to disguise as?

Later, once the gang is in their disguises, they make their way to Castle Shroomenshire. However, a few miles before they reach the castle, the car runs out of gas. Spotting a local inn nearby, they enter it and hope to get a lift the rest of the way.

Innkeeper: Ah, welcome to my humble inn!  And who might you be?

Yoshi: (with an obviously fake French accent) My name iz Jacque Yosho. I am in zeeze area looking for a rhide to le Castle Shroobmenshire.

Inkeeper: Uh... a "right"?

Yoshi: What’s reight?

Innkeeper: You said you were looking for a "rhide".

Yoshi: Oui! I am looking for le rhide!

Innkeeper: A "whine’"?

Yoshi: A rhide, you idiot! You know, a form of le transportation!

Innkeeper: Oh, you mean a "ride"!

Yoshi: That iz what I have been saying; I need a rhide!

Innkeeper: Well, I could let you borrow my old K-Car out back. It’s still in perfect condition.

Yoshi: That will be le excellent!

Yoshi is given the keys, and he then rushes to the area behind the Inn, followed by his partners and the Innkeeper. Yoshi finds a K-Car, but it won’t start.

Yoshi: I thought you said your car was in perfect condition!

Innkeeper: Well, that’s not my car you’re trying to start! Mine’s further back!

Yoshi: ... Oh.  I made a "le whoops", huh?

Quickly, Yoshi manages to find the right car. However, before he leaves, he’s stopped by the Innkeeper.

Innkeeper: Wait! Can I come with you? The Inn’s going out of business, and I bet that if I come with you, I’ll be able to find enough money to pay off my debt!

Yoshi: You may as well. So, what’s your name?

Innkeeper: Edward.

Yoshi: Well, Edward, welcome to the team!

Edward joined the party! He’s a Toad, and he is an excellent thief! His interests include chocolate, video games, and REALLY big piles of money!

Yoshi: A thief, huh?

Edward: Yeah, I’m quite good. I even managed to steal this K-Car we’re riding in.

Kam: You know, this car looks very familiar...

Edward looks at the Magikoopa, and then throws a vanity plate with the words “MAGIC KAM” out the window before the previous owner remembers where he saw the vehicle before.  They drive up to the castle, but there’s a big moat and a closed drawbridge blocking the path.

Yoshi: Let’s see; we will have to get by zeese gigantic object if-

Shawn: Yoshi, you don’t need to act French anymore. There’s no guards out here to fool, and Edward’s a party member.

Yoshi: Oh yeah, right. Well then, let’s scale this wall!

WT: Here’s a few objects that will help.

Edward: YOWSERS! Who are you?!

WT: I’m WT, and I’m filling in for the original author. So far, I’ve completed two chapters, made both you and Carl exist, and revealed the villains behind this whole mess.

Edward: Wait; if you’re filling in for the original author, then where IS the original author?

Speaking of which...

MetalYoshi: What am I going to do? I can’t think of anything I can remix if my life depended on it! Maybe I should check on what that WT’s doing for some inspiration...

MetalYoshi reads the Trimming you’re in the middle of reading, and stops at Chapter 4.

MetalYoshi: That’s it! I’ll make an orchestra remix of the Luigi’s Mansion opening theme! Thank you, guys who created the original Phantom of the Opera! I owe you one!

MetalYoshi, now with inspiration, gets to work. Back to Yoshi and friends, WT has summoned a grappling hook, a canoe, and a large pole via plothole.

Yoshi: Well, let’s get started.

Yoshi first picks the grappling hook. He throws the hook end up towards the wall, and it actually hooks on something. Yoshi then attempts to swing towards the wall, but ends up falling into the moat. As he surfaces from underneath the water, the hook falls out and hits him in the head.

Yoshi: Ow... time for Plan B!

Yoshi grabs the canoe, hoping to cross the moat with it. Yoshi sets it onto the water, and all five members of the party step in. Yoshi’s going along nicely, until he paddles underneath the drawbridge. The drawbridge starts to lower for no apparent reason, hitting the canoe and sending it underwater. As the team quickly tries to swim back to shore, they make it just in time for the drawbridge to go back up.

Yoshi: Plan C it is!

Yoshi grabs the pole and feels the ground for a firm spot. After finding one, Yoshi backs up, getting ready to pole vault. Yoshi then charges forward, but as the pole touches the firm spot, it turns into a not-so-firm
spot. Instead of jumping over the moat and the wall, Yoshi merely crashes through the wall. This creates a hole, which the other party members walk through using the pole as a bridge.

Yoshi: Ow... well, at least we’re in!

Yoshi, Shawn, and the others sneak through the place until they find a central chamber. Lord Crump, an X-Naut PhD or two, and a gigantic laser are located there.

Lord Crump: With the power of the Star Thingy, I will have enough energy to complete my Dimensional Diffusing Ray! With a mere zap, an entire city can fade away as though it had never existed! With this, I will find those good guys and gain the other four Star Thingys!... Of course, we’ll have to move this outside first, but that’s a mere technicality!

Yoshi: You’re a bit too late; we’ve already found you!

Crump: Ack, they’re here!

Shawn: You’d better believe it!

Shawn then grabs a rope hanging from the ceiling and attempts to swing over to the bad guys, but ends up swinging right past them and into the room beyond. He lands right on top of a catapult, which launches him up and through the roof.

Yoshi: So we go through this battle with a slight handicap. We can still take them!

*Battle!*
Yoshi: Let’s see... Two minions, a boss, and a gigantic ray that counts as an enemy. We can take them!

Yoshi: 40/40
Attack: Group Egg Roll
Crump takes 10 damage.
X-Naut PhD #1 takes 10 damage.
X-Naut PhD #2 takes 10 damage.
D. D. Ray takes 0 damage.
Yoshi: Wait. The ray didn’t take ANY damage?

Kam: 35/35
Attack: Uber Fire
Crump takes 20 damage.

Lord Crump: x-30/x
Attack: Tackle
Kam takes 5 damage.

X-Naut PhD #1: x-10/x
Item: Red Potion
Crump’s attack is doubled for 1 turn.

X-Naut PhD #2: x-10/z
Item: Green Potion
Crump’s defense increases by 1 for 1 turn.

D. D. Ray: x/x
Attack: Charge
D. D. Ray is charging. It will finish charging in 2 turns.

Yoshi: 40/40
Attack: Advanced Flutter Kick
Crump takes 5 damage.
5 damage.
5 damage.
5 damage.
5 damage.
5 damage.
5 damage.

Kam: 30/30
Tactic: Switch
Edward is now fighting.
Edward: Yes! Not only is this my first fight, it’s a boss fight! How cool can you get?

Crump: x-65/x
Attack: Tackle
Yoshi takes 10 damage.
Crump’s attack returns to normal.
Crump’s defense returns to normal.

X-Naut PhD #1: x-10/x
Item: White Potion
Crump regains 10 HP.

X-Naut PhD #2: x-10/x
Item: Black Potion
Yoshi takes 10 damage.

D. D. Ray: x/x
Attack: Charging
D. D. Ray is still charging. It will finish charging in 1 turn.

Yoshi: 20/40
Attack: Stomp
X-Naut PhD #1 takes 5 damage.
X-Naut PhD #1 is defeated!

Edward: 35/35
Attack: Steal
Edward steals a Black Potion from X-Naut PhD #2.

Crump: x-55/x
Attack: Tackle
Edward takes 5 damage.

X-Naut PhD #2: x-10/x
Attack: Stomp
Edward takes 5 damage.
Edward: I guess he’s out of potions.

D. D. Ray: x/x
Attack: Immunity
Lord Crump is immune to all attacks until the D. D. Ray is defeated.
Yoshi: Man, that’s cheap!

Yoshi: 20/40
Attack: Stomp
X-Naut PhD #2 takes 5 damage.
X-Naut PhD #2 is defeated!

Edward: 25/35
Magic: Heal
Yoshi regains 10 HP.
Yoshi: You can heal?
Edward: I have experience. I ran an inn, remember?

Lord Crump: x-55/x
Attack: Tackle
Edward takes 5 damage.
Edward: You’re a boss, and you can only tackle? That’s lame.

D. D. Ray: x/x
Attack: Continue Immunity
Lord Crump is still immune to all attacks until the D. D. Ray is defeated.

Yoshi: 30/40
Attack: Stomp
D. D. Ray takes 0 damage.
D. D. Ray: Stop now. You are wasting your time.
Yoshi: YOU CAN TALK?!
Edward: Apparently.
Yoshi: Well then, stop the battle so we can listen to what it has to say!

*The Battle stops... for the moment.*

D. D. Ray: I have been installed with the latest in technology, including an artificial voice. I am impervious to any attack. Unless I somehow overheat, I have a defense of 999.

Yoshi: Well, that stinks.

D. D. Ray: That’s the point. Unless something big falls down the opening Crump forgot to close, I am invulnerable to any-

At that moment, Shawn falls down through the roof and down the opening on the D. D. Ray.

D. D. Ray: ... Oh, snap.

The Ray starts overheating, and Shawn is ejected.

Shawn: Sorry for the delay, but at least I tore out some wires from inside that thing while I was in there.

Edward: Well, at least you’re here now.

*The Battle is now continued!*

Edward: 20/35
Tactic: Switch
Carl is now fighting.

Lord Crump: x-55/x
Attack: Poison Ball
Yoshi takes 5 damage.
Yoshi is poisoned!
Crump: And you thought regular tackles were all I could do!

D. D. Ray: x/x
Attack: Continue Immunity
Lord Crump is still immune to all attacks until the D. D. Ray is defeated.

Yoshi: 25/40
Attack: Stomp
D. D. Ray takes 5 damage.
Yoshi takes 5 damage from the poison. Yoshi is poisoned for 1 more turn.

Carl: 40/40
Attack: Mimic
Carl copied Poison Ball.
D. D. Ray takes 5 damage.
D. D. Ray is poisoned!
Carl takes out a book and writes something in it.
Carl: 0/\/3 p/\g3 l3ft!

Crump: x-55/x
Attack: Tackle
Carl takes 5 damage.

D. D. Ray: x-10/x
Attack: Continue Immunity
Lord Crump is still immune to all attacks until the D. D. Ray is defeated.
D. D. Ray takes 5 damage from the poison. D. D. Ray is poisoned for 1 more turn.

Yoshi: 20/40
Attack: Stomp
D. D. Ray takes 5 damage.
D. D. Ray is defeated!
Yoshi takes 5 damage from the poison. Yoshi is no longer poisoned.
Yoshi: For something that started out with 999 defense, it had lame HP.

Carl: 35/40
Attack: Wrench Toss
Crump takes 5 damage.

Crump: x-60/x
Attack: Tackle
Yoshi took 5 damage.

Yoshi: 10/40
Attack: Stomp
Crump takes 5 damage.

Carl: 35/40
Attack: Wrench Toss
Crump takes 5 damage.
Crump is defeated!

Yoshi wins! He gains 1 EXP! Yoshi levels up.
Yoshi’s max HP is 50, and he can now use Ultimate Egg Toss!
Shawn, Kam, Carl, and Edward level up!
Shawn's max HP is 45, and he can now use Mallet Mayhem!
Kam's max HP is 45, and he can now use the Supreme version of all spells (except DIE DIE DIE DIE)!
Carl’s max HP is 50, and he can now use Thunder Wrench Toss!
Edward’s max HP is 45, and he can now use Mug!

Yoshi: Well, I guess this is the end of our little adventure.

Kam: It is?  But, at the beginning of this chapter, I thought you said-

Yoshi: I know, but heroic sayings like “the end of our little adventure” are expected to be said by heroes, even if it’s not the end. Now, all we have to do is get the Thingy from Crump, and-

Suddenly, Lord Crump jumps back to his feet! He then grabs the four Star Thingys out of Yoshi’s possession and into his own! For some reason, the tune still plays, even though Yoshi didn’t get the Star Thingy.

Lord Crump: Buh huh huh! It seems as though you left your guard down! Now, it is time for my Dimensional Diffusing Ray to finish you!

Lord Crump reactivates the D. D. Ray, but the machine starts acting a bit awkward.

Shawn: You DO remember I overheated that thing, right?

Lord Crump: Oh... yeah.

The Ray fires a blast at the ceiling that Shawn had crashed through. The ceiling glows red, and then disappears completely!

Yoshi: Quick; we’ve got to get out of here before that thing hits us!

Yoshi’s team starts running towards the door. Crump, however, runs towards a different area of the castle. He reaches his destination, a room with a giant organ, and pulls out a walkie-talkie.

Lord Crump: (into the walkie-talkie) Lord Crump reporting in, Ssr!  I have successfully retrieved the Star Thingies! I’m in the designated waiting area, ready for pick-up.

Sir Grodus: (coming from the walkie-talkie) Excellent. A warp back to the base should be appearing any moment now for you to evacuate.

On cue, a circle of green light appears on the floor in front of Crump. The Lord drops the Star Thingies in first, as they are key to the entire mission. Crump is about to jump in himself, but a blast from the Ray hits the circle! Crumps’s only exit out disappears, and Crump knows he is doomed. He tries to contact Grodus again for back-up, but he realizes two things. First, the Ray has just zapped the walkie-talkie. Second, the bottom half of Lord Crump’s body has completely vanished.

Crump: ... I have tried my hardest to please, and I’m about to be killed by my own creation. If I’m going to die, I should at least die happy.

Crump uses his hands to drag himself over to the organ. He lifts himself up and onto the chair, and begins playing a final sonata for himself.

Crump: I may die here, but my work will provide the X-Nauts with the power we need to create our dream utopia. But, if I can eventually live to see another day, it will be the day that green dino will feel my wrath. Yoshi!  If we ever meet again, you’ll wish we hadn’t! BUH HUH HUH HUH!!!

Crump continues to laugh as a blast from the Ray hits him, completely obliterating his upper half. The only remainder of Lord Crump is his goggles, which land on the ground and shatter. Lord Crump is dead... well, technically dead, at least.

Meanwhile, Yoshi and his friends have just managed to leave Castle Shroomenshire through the hole they had made earlier before the entire castle disappears entirely. There is literally nothing left except for Crump’s goggles; even the Ray itself is gone.

Yoshi: ... Wow.

Shawn: We barely escaped that thing.

Kam: If we were a mere second too late...

Carl: .../\/3 \/\/0uld /\ll b3 d3/\d r1ght /\/0\/\/!

Edward: That... was... THE COOLEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME! Let’s do that again!

...

Yoshi: <.<    >.>

Yoshi kicks Edward in the face.

WT: Will our heroes stop the terrible team-up of Bowser and Grodus? Will Crump, or any other villain considered dead, make a surprise appearance? What’s Carl’s last Mimic move going to be? Is Carl’s Time Machine/Automobile ever going to be fixed? How come that last upgrade the team got was all better versions of moves they already have? ... No, wait, I know that last one. I wrote this at 2:00 AM, and I had a big lack of inspiration. Anyways, for the answers to all those other questions, just tune in next time!

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