Survivor

By Lemmy Koopa

Days 7 - 9

Day 7

Mario Gang

Peach, Princess: The morning after Mass Massacre we went to the kitchen to find some breakfast, but we found an unwelcome surprise...

Wario: Our food! The cans of food are gone!

Peach: What could have happened?!

Mario: AGH! A BEAR!!!

Yoshi: Yoshi know! Bear steal food!

Wario: Oh no! Now we're going to starve again!

Waluigi: Maybe not. Look, the bear left us a trail of fur. Maybe we can find him and recover the food.

Mario: I like it!

Waluigi: What? You heard me?!

Peach: Well, duh! It's not like your invisible or anything!

Waluigi, Scaredy Cat: So they could hear me all along? That means that no one likes me... but it also means that no one disliked me enough to cast me a vote.

Wario: Hey, are we going to follow that bear or not?

The King: Hey, what's going on? Where's breakfast?

Peach: Soon, Dad. Let's follow that bear!

Wario, Strategist: We followed that bear all through the house, but before we could catch our breakfast we were interrupted by that dumb guy again.

Guy: We know you're hungry, but not to fear.
You'll earn some food if you win here.
This challenge comes right down to your will.
Win it if you can and you'll get your fill.

Yoshi: Food reward, yay!

Mario: FOOD!!!

The King: What?

The King, King: This may surprise you, but I'm not actually as dumb as I look. By making myself look like an idiot I have avoided being kidnapped by Bowser in the past. Now it will make me look harmless and save me from the vote.

Guy: Here is a food guide. You can choose two food items that you want if you win the challenge. See you then!

Peach: ... I hope we can settle this easily. I'm not voting again.

Wario: There will be no need to vote if we just pick the spices and the chickens like you know we should.

Yoshi: Chickens noisy! Pick eggs and soup!

The King: I like chicken soup!

Peach: Yes Dad...

Mario: Cheese! I want cheese!

Wario: These is no cheese!

Mario: This game is rigged!

Mario, Moron: It is, too. I already have... let's see... fiftytwelve votes! Wah!

Yoshi: This be long day...

Koopa Troop

Susan, Pain in the Neck: It's great and all that we won two immunity challenges, but since we had no food we decided there was nothing to do but strategize. Unfortunately, we were too tired to do any secret strategizing, so we did everything out in the open.

Iggy: Hey King Dad, who are you voting for?

Bowser: I'm voting for Morton, and everyone had better do the same!

Iggy: Ooh, Morton, a good choice.

Morton: Yes, an excellent choice, good thinking, well done! I'll definitely vote for Morton as well, I definitely want to get rid of him, what a loser, what an imbecile, what a- WAIT A MINUTE!!! I'm Morton! I'm not about to vote for myself, uh uh, no way, not a chance, not in your wildest dreams, not even-

Roy: Shuddap!

Larry: Sorry King Dad, I'd like to go along with you, and I'm no fan of Morton either, but as long as she is still here my vote will go to Susan.

Susan: My love, always so romantic!

Ludwig, Genius: It facilitates me that everyone is too exhausted to strategize privately. Now I know all intentions, which will certainly be useful when the time comes to vote.

Iggy, Paperweight: I wouldn't say it to his face, but Larry is digging quite a hole for himself if he will only vote for Susan.

Iggy: Wendy, let's hear from you!

Wendy: Who, me? Since it looks like Morton is getting plenty of votes, I'm casting my vote for Susan because I HATE HER GUTS!!!

Susan: Oh yeah?! Well you just bought my vote!

Wendy: Ludwig, you'll vote for Susan too, won't you?

Ludwig: Me? Well, er, I-

Roy: Yeah Ludwig, you're just sitting around! Who are you voting for?

Ludwig: Well, Roy, I was thinking of voting for you!

Roy: Well isn't that a coincidence! I was thinking of voting for you!

Iggy: I wasn't thinking.

Roy: Shut up!

Bowser: We're all voting for Morton!

Ludwig: You won't perceive me doing so!

Roy: You'd better, you're the only one voting for me!

Ludwig: Nuh uh, I have Iggy!

Iggy: Uh...

Wendy: No way, Iggy is voting for Susan with me!

Iggy: But-

Bowser: Dungeon!

Koopa Troop besides Bowser: WE DON'T HAVE ONE!!!

Morton: I'm not voting for myself, I can tell you that, I'm voting for someone else, like Roy, or maybe Wendy, or perhaps Bowser, Iggy could be a good choice, ooh, what about Larry, or Susan, or Morton- wait, that's me, and I won't vote for myself I said!

Roy, Fighter: Ludwig is crazier than I thought if he thinks he can kick me outta here. No one is kicking me outta here, I plan on being here all the way until the end. Ludwig has just bought himself a one-way ticket home!

Wendy: I have Iggy!

Ludwig: No, I have Iggy!

Wendy: I do!

Ludwig: I DO!

Ding dong!

Iggy: THE DOOR!!!

Iggy breaks free and opens the door.

Guy: Well that was fast! Listen, I have another poem for you:

We know you're hungry, but not to fear.
You'll earn some food if you win here.
This challenge comes right down to your will.
Win it if you can and you'll get your fill.

Bye now!

Wendy: Food?! We need to win that!

Bowser, Tyrant: We will win this challenge, no matter what. It's win-win for me, because if my mass loses I'll just eat someone. You'd be surprised how good the Koopalings taste.

Reward Challenge

Koopa Troop and Mario Gang arrive for the Reward Challenge, which is on the fifth floor of the building, just below Mass Massacre. There are twelve tape squares on the floor, six on each side of the room. Lemmy is waiting in the middle.

Lemmy: Welcome! As I'm sure you know, food is very hard to get here. It ta-

Peach: Actually, we have food right in our camp.

Lemmy: Quiet! Uh, anyway, there is a food reward up for grabs today, but it will take all your will power to earn it. Before I explain the rules, Mario Gang, what did you decide to play for?

Wario: We want-

The King: CHICKEN SOUP!!!

Lemmy: Ah, the chickens and the soup. A good choice.

Peach: Dad!

Lemmy: Koopa Troop?

Bowser: We won't leave without the chickens and the spices.

Lemmy: Chickens and spices for Koopa Troop. Now for the rules. Six members from each mass will each stand in one of the tape squares on the floor for as long as you can. If you sit down or move any foot outside of the square, you are out of the game.

Wendy: You mean we lose the million coins?!

Lemmy: What? No, you lose the Reward Challenge. The last mass that has a member standing wins. Koopa Troop, you need to choose two members to sit out.

Bowser: Ludwig said he would take care of this.

Ludwig: Susan and Wendy.

Susan: What?!

Wendy: Do you suddenly not like girls now?!

Ludwig: No! I... I...

Susan: I'll remember this.

Lemmy: Hmm... Anyway, Wendy, Susan, you won't play.

Wendy: Grr...

Lemmy: Get in your box!

The losers, save for Wendy and Susan, get in their boxes.

Lemmy: Losers ready? Go!

The losers start to stand there.

Bowser: Ha! I can stand forever!

Roy: I can stand forever to infinity!

Ludwig: I didn't realize you knew a number that massive.

Roy: You probably also didn't know that you would be the first one outta here.

The King: Hmm, nightynight!

The King lies down.

Lemmy: The King is out of the game!

Iggy: Yay! We're winning!

Yoshi: Yoshi have idea!

Wario: Heh heh heh-heh, a clever strategy on how to win?

Yoshi: Mario Gang should quit, head back to base. Stop bear, find rest food, before too late.

Waluigi: He has a point there.

Wario: I'm not a quitter!

Peach: You'd better quit, or you won't be an eater either.

Wario: Well... alright...

Yoshi: We do it?

Wario: I guess so...

Waluigi: Let's sit!

Yoshi, Peach, Wario, and Waluigi sit down.

Lemmy: Yoshi, Peach, Wario, Waluigi, you're all out of the game.

Iggy: Look, they just sat down! We're there!

Roy: Any minute now, Mario will sit down.

Peach: Why is this still going? What? Mario!

Mario: I'm-a Mario!

Yoshi: Mario sit down, mass go to camp!

Mario: I'm not listening!

Wario: You'll ruin everything Mario! Just sit down!

Waluigi: Or we'll vote for you! Yeah, that's a threat!

Peach, Yoshi, Wario, and Waluigi: SIT DOWN!!!

Mario: Huh?

Yoshi: ... We doomed.

Waluigi: I'm scared of doom!

Larry: They're trying to get Mario to sit down, but it isn't working.

Bowser: Darn it! They're actually trying to let us win, and we still can't. No one sits down until Mario does!

Roy: I know I won't!

Ludwig: I am stable.

Larry: No problem!

Morton: I'm fine, ok, great even, I'm going nowhere, I'm standing my ground, holding it firmly, terra firma, like a rock...

Iggy: Let's do it!

Three hours later...

Peach: Can you believe he's still standing there?

Yoshi: This got to stop, next Massacre.

Waluigi: Mario is really starting- er, continuing to scare me.

Iggy: I'm tired!

Bowser: Just keep standing!

Roy: I'll kill anyone who sits down!

Ludwig: Visualize being in an alternate physical state.

Iggy: Can't... go... on!

Iggy falls over.

Lemmy: Iggy is out of the game!

Roy: I'll get you for this, Iggy!

Larry: It's not his fault!

Roy: Oh yeah?! I'll get you too!

Bowser: No fighting... right now. We have to stay calm and stand our ground.

Roy: Grr...

Meanwhile, Wendy and Susan are sitting in a corner with nothing to do.

Susan: Wendy... I'm sorry about before.

Wendy: Yeah... I guess.

Susan: I know this is hard to believe, but we should really be working together.

Wendy: Why do you say that?

Susan: We are the only girls, after all. At least that's something in common. If we can get something going before the guys do, it could be really powerful.

Wendy: As much as I hate to admit it, I think you're right. Who will we vote for first?

Susan: I have an idea.

Four hours into the game...

Morton: ACHOO!

Morton sneezed so hard that he blew himself out of his box.

Lemmy: Morton is out of the game!

Morton: Not fair, this is not right, or nice, or even thoughtful! Grr...

Peach: Think the bear left any food?

Waluigi: I'm scared of the thought.

Yoshi: Look! Mario sleep!

Mario: Zzz...

Waluigi: Lemmy!

Lemmy: Well, he is still standing...

Wario: What if I knocked him over?

Lemmy: That would be cheating, of course!

Peach: *sigh*

Bowser: No one move! No one sneeze! No one BREATHE!

Larry tries to not breathe but soon passes out. Bowser slaps himself in the face.

Lemmy: Larry is out of the game!

Ludwig: It's down to Roy, King Dad, and myself now...

Day 8

Six hours into the game...

Roy: I'm hungry! ... Whoops.

Lemmy: Roy stepped out of the box! You're out of the game.

Roy: I'll get you for this!

Yoshi: Yoshi no believe this is happening.

Eight hours into the game...

Ludwig suddenly starts to jump all around in a crazy fashion.

Lemmy: Ludwig is out of the game!

Ludwig: Foolish sugar deprivation.

Ten hours into the game...

Losers: Zzz...

creak

Losers: Zzz...

CREAK

Losers: Zzz...

SMASH!!!

The floorboards under Bowser finally break under the weight.

Bowser: Woah!

Lemmy: Bowser left the room and is out of the game! Victory to Mario Gang!

Waluigi: I don't believe what I'm seeing.

Ludwig: I don't believe what I'm hearing.

Bowser: I don't believe the pain in my back!

Lemmy: Mario Gang, here are your chickens, and here is your soup mix.

Chickens: Braw.

Air time for Super Soup.

Mario: (suddenly awakening) CHEESE!!!

Lemmy: No, chickens and soup mix.

Mario: Oh.

Mario takes the food, then both masses leave the room. No one looks happy, Koopa Troop for losing, Peach, Yoshi, Wario, and Waluigi for the prospect of the bear having escaped, Mario for not getting cheese, and The King for being awaken.

Koopa Troop

Koopa Troop: AAH!!!

Larry: Someone koopnapped our stuff!

The camera pans around the room. All the furniture is gone. In fact, the room is just about empty, save for the eight members of the mass.

Roy: When I get my hands on whoever stole our stuff...

Iggy: Guys, look at this.

The mass gathers around Iggy, who is holding a note that he found in the middle of the floor.

Iggy: It says...

You thought this game was easy, so now it will get worse.
All your stuff is gone, thus the reason for this verse.
You'll have to find your food and drink in the area at hand.
To win this game you must survive, and now this means the land.

It's signed by Lemmy.

Ludwig: I might have expected as much.

Bowser: When this show is over, Lemmy is going to the dungeon for life!

Morton: This is not fair, I don't believe it, even if I'm seeing it, it just can't be, oh no it can't, not a chance, no way!

Wendy: I'm starving, and I'm already thin enough!

Larry: Hahaha! HAHAHA!!!

Roy: What's so funny?!

Larry: This is perfect! We're right in the middle of a city! We can steal whatever we want!

Susan: My love has done it again!

Wendy, Beauty Queen: The game took a sudden twist, but it looks like it will be in our favor after all. Now we can steal our food!

Larry, Spy: I can't believe it, this is so great! I am easily the best thief here, so they will need me to steal food for them! The possibilities are endless!

Bowser, Tyrant: It looks like I'm not going to have to eat the Koopalings after all. Too bad! I'm worried about Morton; his talking won't help us steal.

Wendy: Let's go find some food!

Mario Gang

Mario Gang is heading down the stairs back to camp.

Waluigi: Well, at least we did win some food.

Yoshi: Yoshi 'gree. Chicken good.

Peach: Mario, are you having trouble with the chickens?

Mario: Huh?

Yoshi: Why Yoshi no hear chickens?

Peach: Yeah... that's kind of odd.

Wario: You must be strangling them, Mario! Give them to me!

Wario turns around.

Wario: What?! WHERE ARE THE CHICKENS?!

The rest of the mass turns around now, including Mario.

The King: No chicken soup?

Peach: Mario... I'm going to ask this calmly-

Waluigi: No, I've taken too much! Mario, where are the chickens?!

Mario: The chickens?

Waluigi: YES!!!

Mario: They-a flew out the window.

Yoshi: Chicken no fly.

Mario: ... Really?

The King: Soup soup! Super Soup!

Peach: Yes Mario, dare I ask... where's the soup?

Wario: You'd better have a good explanation!

Mario: The-a chickens were hungry?

The King: NEED CHICKEN SOUP!!!

Yoshi: Yoshi no believe this!

Peach: Mario, of all the incompetant things to do!

Mario: Incompa what?

Waluigi: That's it! Anyone voting for Mario, say I!

Waluigi, Peach, and Wario: I!

Yoshi: Ih... Ih... Yoshi!

The King: W!

Mario: *sniffle* NO ONE LIKES ME!!!

Mario, sobbing, runs ahead.

Peach: We'd better follow him before he does something even worse.

The rest of the mass follows. When they reach their camp...

Waluigi: Where's all our stuff?!

The King: MARIO!!! Hehe, I'm-a Mario!

Wario: Mario, what have you done with the furniture?!

Mario: It-a wasn't me! Look, there-a is a note!

You-a thought this game was easy, so now it-a will get worse.
All-a your stuff is gone, thus the reason for-a this verse.
You'll have to-a find your food and drink in-a the area at hand.
To-a win this game you must-a survive, and now this-a means the land.

Peach: Mario! I didn't know you knew how to read!

Mario: You-a don't know a lot of-a things about me!

Peach: Let's keep it that way.

Yoshi: Mario have no time or brain to fake letter. Must be real.

The King: You mean I'm not dreaming?

Waluigi: I agree with Yoshi.

Peach: So what do we do now?

Wario: We steal! Heh heh heh-heh!

Koopa Troop

The mass is at the supermarket, across the street from their building. Larry is filling up a cart by the produce section, Roy is in the pasta aisle, and Wendy- no, she is not in the seafood section.

Roy: Hm... egg noodles or bow ties?

Wendy: Egg noodles. Definitely egg noodles.

Roy: Bow ties then. Why aren't you by the girly seafood section?

Wendy: Why I oughta- I mean, I already picked up a lot of fish.

Roy: Good, I'll use your cart to put my food in.

Wendy: Uh, it's all full!

Roy: Just my luck.

Wendy: Hey, Roy... have you decided who you're voting for tomorrow? I mean, if we have to, of course.

Roy: Yeah, I said so yesterday.

Wendy: Good!

Roy: What are you so excited about?

Wendy: Me? Uh, I really like fish!

Roy: (shaking his head) Girls are weird.

Elsewhere in the store...

Iggy: Hey, where's the cream filling?

Susan: Don't you know you're supposed to buy it before you eat it?

Iggy: But we're stealing it anyway!

Susan: Good point. You know, Iggy, the others shouldn't be pressuring you to vote for someone.

Iggy: Yeah, that's what I'm thinking! Wendy and Ludwig can be so forceful!

Susan: Oh, I agree! It's not right. You should decide for yourself.

Iggy: I don't really want to vote for you, Susan, or Roy either.

Susan: Then don't! Vote the way your heart decides!

Iggy: If I tell you who I really want to vote for, will you promise not to tell?

Susan: Sure.

Iggy: I really agreed with Bowser all along. Morton gives me a headache and I want to vote him off.

Susan: I think you're right. You know, I'm going to vote for Morton too.

Iggy: Really? But I thought you liked Morton.

Susan: I do, a little, but he's not helping the mass, and the weakest has to go.

Ludwig: Is this duo prepared for departure?

Susan: Ludwig! What are you doing here?

Ludwig: Thieving goods, equivalent to yourself.

Iggy: We're ready, Ludwig.

Ludwig: Magnificent.

Cashier (to Larry, at the register): Will that be cash, check, or charge?

Larry: None! We're double-crossing you!

Roy: Let's scram!

Cashier: Stop, thieves!

Police chase Koopa Troop, but when the mass reaches the building the cops are stopped by the Survivor crew. No extras on a closed set!

Iggy: We have food!

Morton, Philosopher: Now that we have food our mass will surely thrive and do well, for we will have nourishment and nutrition, well maybe not good nutrition, but lately we've had nothing, and something is better than nothing in most cases.

Ludwig, Genius: My mass expected me to thieve sweets, but I have selected a well-balanced diet so that I may perform at my peak. When I become the strongest member of the mass I will possess invincibility.

Wendy, Beauty Queen: This food came just in time! I forgot to get some food of my own though. I hope no one notices.

Larry, Spy: It looks like Mario Gang hasn't left the building yet. I wonder what they're up to...

Mario Gang

Peach: Steal?! You know I can't do that!

Yoshi: It only way!

Wario: Actually, there is one other way... heh heh heh-heh!

Peach: I don't like the evil laugh, but I'm willing to try anything.

Wario: How much is a hundred bucks worth to you?

The King: MONEYS!!!

Peach: Where- where'd you get a hundred bucks?

Wario: I stole it off that loser Toad, then voted him off. It was so easy!

Peach: You- ... How could you?!

Wario: Huh?

Peach: You stole Toad's luxery item?!

Wario: I- I did it for you, Peach!

Peach: Well I don't like it!

Waluigi: Peach, it doesn't matter! What counts is we have money and can buy food!

Peach: Using stolen money is worse than stealing food! I won't have it!

Mario: Even I-a know Wario did-a the right thing!

Wario: Looks like the mass sides with me.

Yoshi: Yoshi side with Peach!

Wario: What?

Waluigi: It doesn't matter! Come on, brother, cousin, we'll go get some food.

Peach: No one is stealing any food!

Wario: We're not! We're using this hundred dollar bill I just happen to have.

Peach: That bill is not leaving this house!

Peach grabs the bill that Wario is holding. The two struggle and in the process the bill rips.

Peach: Ha! So much for your hundred bucks!

Wario: Heh heh heh-heh! I still have more than half, and that counts!

Mario: Let's-a go!

SLURP!

Wario: Hey!

Yoshi: Money YUM!!!

Wario: You ate my money!

Waluigi: What are we going to do now?!

Peach: We'll just have to get some food the honest, Mario way.

Mario: Who, me?

Wario: Grr...

The King, King: See my strategy paying off? I'm too stupid to take part in an argument. Now the mass is split and my vote is the one that both sides will be searching for.

Yoshi, Food Analyst: Yoshi think Wario bad man. Stealing money not right, glad Yoshi eat it. Yoshi stand by decision even if cost Yoshi coins.

Wario, Strategist: That money was supposed to be my trump card, now I'm in trouble for it? It doesn't matter though, Peach and Yoshi are only two against three. Mario may be annoying, but Peach will be the next to go.

Mario, Moron: AAH!!! I CAN'T-A SEE MY FEET!!! THEY'RE GONE!!!

Peach, Princess: I can't believe Wario stole Toad's luxery item! I knew he was no good though, I definitely saw something like this coming. This mass couldn't get any worse right now. The mass is split, thanks to Mario we have no food, and we have no good way of getting any more. At least things can only get better.

Waluigi, Scaredy-Cat: These arguments are actually good for me. When I get really angry I sometimes forget to be scared and can really assert myself. Mario makes me angry, so maybe I'll keep him around. Anyway, it looks like he, Wario, and I will be voting together in the future.

Day 9

Koopa Troop

Susan, Pain in the Neck: Today is Immunity Challenge day, and I for one am very excited. It gives the mass another chance to show Mario Gang who's in charge. But if we lose then we will at least be in store for a very interesting Mass Massacre.

Bowser: Ooh, I'm stuffed!

Iggy: Well, you did eat all of the food you stole, and most of mine too.

Bowser: Get your eyes checked, Iggy. Wendy stole your food, not me.

Iggy: Wendy? Why'd you steal my food?

Wendy: Uh... my fish went bad! Yeah.

Iggy: Oh, that sounds reasonable.

Larry: Hey everyone, that dumb guy is coming our way! I bet he has a stupid poem for us.

Roy: Bring it on! I feel ready for an challenge!

Ludwig: I concur. Mario Gang will fall.

Morton, Philosopher: My mass feels ready, prepared, and in top shape, but I predict, foresee, and expect a loss, we can't always be winning every challenge, it just can't happen, and so eventually we will have to vote.

Iggy: I want to answer the door when he gets here!

Larry: Sure, knock yourself out!

Roy: Try not to do it literally!

Ding dong!

Iggy: Hello again!

Guy: Hey, this job isn't too bad! I have another poem for you.

You've seen this trick done quite a lot.
But can you beat the other mass when given a shot?
This isn't something very hard to do,
And if you win there will be immunity for you.

Good luck!

The guy leaves and Iggy closes the door.

Roy: Ok smarts for brains, what's the next challenge gonna be?

Ludwig: I cannot conclude on the basis of a sample of vague poetry.

Larry: I wouldn't worry. He said it was easy to do. That means Mario Gang will have problems.

Iggy: I agree!

Wendy: You really have to stop doing that.

Iggy: But I really do agree!

Bowser: All I care about is that we either win the challenge or vote off Morton. It's your choice.

Morton: We will win, receive victory, be successful, so no voting will be required, we are the champions, no time for losers, wait, we are losers, or so Lemmy says, but maybe he is the loser, I am so confused...

Mario Gang

Peach and Yoshi are outside the building, begging for food. Wario and Waluigi refused to help and are watching through the window. Mario wanted to help but was refrained by his cousins and is now asleep, as is The King.

Peach: Please, won't you give me something to eat?

Man: Anything for a pretty lady!

Yoshi: FOOD YUM!!!

Man: Ahh, a dinosuar!

The man runs away.

Yoshi: How long we try Peach?

Peach: It's been five hours. The Wario Bros. must be laughing their heads off.

Inside...

Waluigi: This is no laughing matter! I'm hungry!

Wario: But don't you see how good this is? With the mass split we'll have no trouble voting them off. Peach first, of course, she's too smart.

Waluigi: But Wario, can we really trust Mario to vote with us?

Wario: Well Mario will get two tries to do it right. If he gets it wrong the first time there will be a deadlock and he can vote again. Don't worry so much!

Waluigi: I just don't know. Between Mario and The King, voting can be really unstable. I'm not sure I really trust Yoshi either.

Wario: Yoshi's harmless, he's too nice for his own good. The King could be a problem, but he's certain to cast a random vote. It's not likely to matter.

Waluigi: Who do you think Peach will go for first?

Wario: I told you it doesn't matter! Just stop worrying, ok?

Waluigi: If you say so...

Outside...

Yoshi: Yoshi give up!

Peach: I suppose you're right.

Yoshi: Are Yoshi and Peach voting same?

Peach: I think we should, now that the mass is split.

Yoshi: Who Peach vote for?

Peach: I'm not sure yet. We need to figure out who is the weakest.

Yoshi: Yoshi scared, we outnumbered.

Peach: Maybe, maybe not. I have no idea who my father is voting for.

Yoshi: Look, that guy come! Hi guy!

Guy: Hey, it doesn't get any easier than this! Ok, I have a poem for you!

You've seen this trick done quite a lot.
But can you beat the other mass when given a shot?
This isn't something very hard to do,
And if you win there will be immunity for you.

Good luck!

The guy leaves.

Yoshi: What guy mean?

Peach shrugs.

Immunity Challenge

Cut to camera shots of the wide open third floor. Only one pipe, sitting in the middle of the floor, prevents the room from being perfectly clear, though Lemmy's presence also degrades the room in the eyes of some. Mario Gang and Koopa Troop walk into the room and stand across from Lemmy.

Lemmy: Welcome to the third Immunity Challenge! Koopa Troop, dare I ask, did you remember to bring the immunity thingy this time?

Iggy: Whoops.

Lemmy: Oh no...

Iggy: Haha! Here it is!

Lemmy snatches the thingy from Iggy.

Lemmy: At least not all hope is lost. Ok, now the rules for this challenge. Goombas will come out of the pipe in the middle of the floor. Your goal is to stomp on as many Goombas as possible. The mass that stomps on the most Goombas will win immunity and will be saved from tonight's vote. Any questions?

The King: Who are you voting for?

Lemmy: *sigh* Koopa Troop, you are still up two members and must choose two to sit this one out.

Ludwig (amidst stares from Susan and Wendy): Er, I deselect Iggy and Larry, as I expect they will be the weakest.

Iggy: No way!

Larry: You'll be sorry!

Ludwig: I had to choose someone!

Lemmy: Iggy, Larry, you won't play. Please stand outside the door to make sure that you don't stomp any Goombas by accident.

Iggy and Larry leave the room while the rest of the losers crowd around the pipe. 12 losers can't fit in one circle around a small pipe; Koopa Troop starts with most of their members closest to the pipe.

Lemmy: Losers ready? Go!

Goombas start to pop out of the pipe at an alarming rate. To Koopa Troop's dismay the Goombas don't land near the pipe but get shot to the corners of the room, putting them at a temporary disadvantage.

Roy: Outta my way!

Peach gets knocked over. Then she gets covered in Goombas.

Peach: HELP!!!

Ludwig: I got one!

Yoshi: YUM!!!

Bowser: Roar!!!

Bowser takes out three Goombas in one huge stomp. Ludwig is taking out a few and Wendy has two stuck on her pointy shoes, but now they are too dull for her to stomp any more. Yoshi is slurping up Goombas, but The King is conversing with one and Waluigi is running away from them. Though Morton and Roy are doing very well on their part, no one is doing as well as Mario. Though he's just standing there, the Goombas seem to be drawn to his shoes and die instantly after touching them. Bowser increases his effort and is creaming Goombas left and right, but it's no use. The flow of Goombas eventually stops and the game comes to an end.

Lemmy: Victory to Mario Gang!

Mario looks dazed and The King looks dismayed at having his new friend killed, but the rest of the mass jumps in jubilation as Lemmy hands the immunity thingy to Wario for the first time. Meanwhile Koopa Troop heads back to camp, knowing it will soon be time to vote.

Koopa Troop

Susan, Pain in the Neck: We're on the verge of the first vote now! I know I should be upset, but I'm really very excited. I can't wait to see if my plan works!

Larry, Spy: The first vote doesn't scare me. I've done plenty of spying and haven't seen anyone mad at me yet. I'm not in an alliance yet, so no one I care about is vulnerable. I just hope enough people vote with me to get rid of Susan.

Morton, Philosopher: I have feared the vote since the start, day one, the beginning of time even, as I know I am not well liked, appreciated, or understood in this mass. I just hope and wish that someone, another party has been more annoying than I and will pay, suffer, and be punished for it.

Wendy, Beauty Queen: No worries here! Who would dare vote for me? Nope, I have my alliance, and I intend to make Ludwig pay.

Iggy, Paperweight: My get along with everyone strategy seems to have made me some enemies, so I'm a little worried. I don't think I've annoyed people as much as Morton or Susan though, so I should be safe for tonight.

Roy, Fighter: Why would I worry about a vote? I've been here for nine days, and I'll still be here in thirty-three days. The votes are just trivial.

Ludwig, Genius: If we had voted three days ago I would have felt invincible. Currently I am feeling vulnerable after having received some short-tempered comments. I will be voting for Morton tonight to ensure that it will be he that departs.

Bowser, Tyrant: I have a clear advantage in this game, being the father of everyone in Koopa Troop. I'm the strongest and smartest too, and no one dares to vote for me. I call all the shots, and tonight will be no different.

Iggy: It's time, everyone!

Koopa Troop heads off to Mass Massacre.

Mass Massacre

Everyone hits the gong while entering Mass Massacre at the insistance of a crew member, then Koopa Troop takes a seat across from Lemmy.

Lemmy: Welcome to your first Mass Massacre! Tonight, one of you will be voted out of the mass. Roy, how do you feel about losing the Immunity Challenge?

Roy: I'll tell you how I feel, Mario cheated! No doubt about it! Did you see how the Goombas were pulled to his shoes? Cheating, plain and simple.

Lemmy: You lost the Reward Challenge too. Iggy, a comment on that?

Iggy: I was unconscious, so I don't know what happened.

Bowser: Mario cheated again! That, or the floor did. I did not leave my square!

Lemmy: That's nice. Ludwig, it seems like you made some enemies at the Reward Challenge.

Ludwig: I made the decision I felt to be the correct one. I vouch to be correct only a mere 99.87 percent of the time.

Lemmy: Wendy, what do you think of the new format of the game?

Wendy: It's great! First we had to find food, but now we can just steal it. It's a piece of cake!

Lemmy: There is a staff behind you; it represents your life here on Survivor. You will carry it with you to and from Mass Massacre, and when you lose you will crack it, shattering your life in the process, on the head of the person you feel responsible for your losing. The person who receives the most votes tonight will be asked to step into this large cannon next to me and will then depart from the game. That said, it is time to vote. Bowser, you're up first.

Bowser goes to vote.

Iggy goes to vote.

Larry goes to vote.

Larry, Spy: Goodbye, love. And good riddence.

Ludwig goes to vote.

Morton goes to vote.

Morton, Philosopher: This is a strategic vote, and does not necessarily imply that the caster of the vote has anything against you, but it needed to be cast. Good luck, happy tidings, and joy to you in the future.

Roy goes to vote.

Roy, Fighter: Wendy seemed oftly excited when I told her I was going to vote for Ludwig. I'm curious how she'll feel about this vote. The weakest player should leave first anyway.

Susan goes to vote.

Wendy goes to vote.

Lemmy: I'll go get the votes.

Lemmy goes to get the votes, then comes back.

Lemmy: Let me remind you that whoever receives the most votes will have to crack their staff immediately and then step into this really large cannon. First vote... Ludwig. Second vote... Morton. Third vote... Morton. Fourth vote... Susan. Fifth vote... Morton. Sixth vote... Iggy. Seventh vote... Ludwig. I'll read the last vote... Ludwig.

The camera pans to Morton and Ludwig, who are both very nervous.

Lemmy: It looks like we have a tie. When the vote is tied, we vote again. Morton, Ludwig, you will not vote. The rest of you must vote for either Morton or Ludwig. First though, you will both get a chance to state your case, starting with Ludwig.

Ludwig: You ought not vote for me because you will be in need of my services in the future. Do not neglect that I am a genius. I will be useful to you and not a physical threat. Thank you.

Lemmy: Morton?

Morton: You shouldn't vote for me because it wouldn't be nice, or fair, no, it wouldn't be fair, and I talk a lot so I can tell you useful information which you will certainly want to know, and if you listened to me it would really help, but you won't get the chance to do so ever again if you vote for me, well not until after the game is over anyway, and that is so far away so do not vote for me.

Lemmy: It's time to vote again. Bowser?

Bowser goes to vote.

Bowser, Tyrant: I refuse to change my mind.

Iggy goes to vote.

Larry goes to vote.

Roy goes to vote.

Roy, Fighter: This works great for me! I can still punish Ludwig, annoy Wendy, and show that strength counts. See ya Kookie!

Susan goes to vote.

Wendy goes to vote.

Lemmy: I'll go get the votes.

Lemmy gets the votes and returns.

Lemmy: Once again, once I read the votes the decision is final and the loser will be made to depart immediately. First vote... Morton. Second vote... Ludwig. Third vote... Morton. Fourth vote... Ludwig. Fifth vote... Ludwig. I'll read the last vote... Morton.

A dramatic pause.

Lemmy: We're deadlocked. When the vote is tied twice we go to votes in previous Mass Massacres. Ludwig, how many votes do you have?

Ludwig: Zero.

Lemmy: Morton?

Morton: None, zero, zilch, nata, zip, nothing, not a one!

Lemmy: Such are the problems of a mass's first Mass Massacre. Since neither of you have any votes, we will have to settle the tie with a quiz.

Lemmy hands a pad and pen to Ludwig and Morton.

Lemmy: I will ask a series of questions. If you get it right and your opponent gets it wrong, you win and your opponent will be out of the game. Write your answer on the pad and reveal when I tell you. First question: How many action scenes are there in Ice Land?

Ludwig and Morton write their answers.

Lemmy: Reveal.

Ludwig: Ten.

Morton: Ten.

Lemmy: You're both right. Next question: Who was voted out first from Mario Gang?

Ludwig and Morton write their answers.

Lemmy: Reveal.

Ludwig: Toad.

Morton: Toad.

Lemmy: Both right. Third question: How many portrait ghosts are in Luigi's Mansion?

Ludwig and Morton write their answers.

Lemmy: Reveal.

Ludwig: 23.

Morton: 19.

Lemmy: I'm sorry Morton, the boss ghosts count. 23 is the right answer.

Ludwig: Whew!

Morton: This isn't fair! It's not right! I don't like it! I won't-

Lemmy: Tough. Crack your staff on the head of one of your massmates.

Morton cracks his staff on Ludwig's head.

Ludwig: My cranium!

Lemmy: And now, you get in the cannon.

Morton: Do I have to? Must I? Is there another alternative? What if-

Lemmy: GET IN THE CANNON!!!

Morton grudgingly climbs in. Lemmy lights the fuse.

Lemmy: Morton... the mass has spoken.

BOOM! Morton is blasted out of the cannon. He shoots through that old Pizza Hut sign again, making a straight line of losers: first Toad, then Luigi, and now Morton.

Lemmy: Congratulations to the rest of you for surviving your first Mass Massacre. You can head back to the camp.

Koopa Troop heads back to the first floor of the building with Ludwig proudly leading the way.

Who voted for who?
Bowser: Morton, Morton - Morton's talking really annoyed him
Iggy: Morton, Morton - Morton annoyed him and he wanted to decide for himself
Larry: Susan, Morton - Will vote for Susan until she's gone, but Morton's more annoying than Ludwig
Ludwig: Morton, NA - Sensed he was in danger but felt he could beat Morton
Morton: Ludwig, NA - Susan-Wendy alliance collected him when he lost challenge, felt he was in danger
Roy: Iggy, Ludwig - Iggy fainted, Ludwig threatened to vote for him
Susan: Ludwig, Ludwig - Didn't appreciate Ludwig's male-favored decision, thought she could nail Ludwig
Wendy: Ludwig, Ludwig - Allied with Susan for girl power, Ludwig surprise but vulnerable target

Who's left?
Mario Gang: Mario (4), Peach (1), The King (1), Waluigi (0), Wario (1), Yoshi (1)
Koopa Troop: Bowser (0), Iggy (1), Larry (0), Ludwig (3), Roy (0), Susan (1), Wendy (0)

Morton, Philosopher, on being voted off: I knew that I would never, no, it could never happen that I would win this game, be the victor, come out on top, or be the champion, which leaves me to be a loser, a reject, garbage, and I do not appreciate this. This game is rigged and unfair, and I don't care or mind what happens, but just wait, hold on, be on the lookout for someone really undeserving to win, as it is sure to happen and occur.

Read on!