Little Lemmy's Land Qualifier
By Lemmy Koopa
Ludwig: Salvage the tires!
Peach: Don't forget the phone!
Lemmy Koopa: Welcome to Survivor! Right now you are watching a mad rush, as they have two minutes to get what they can from the car wreck.
Iggy: This suitcase is too heavy!
Roy knocks Iggy out with the suitcase he is holding.
Luigi: It's a good thing this is only two minutes, cuz I'm going to need the bathroom soon!
Lemmy Koopa: You see, Mario wasn't watching where he was driving, and he crashed into Bowser's car. Now they are stuck in this nearby building for the next 42 days.
Wario: I'll take the cash!
Toad: I'll take the picnic lunch!
Bowser: I'll take Mario alive!
Lemmy Koopa: They will need to find food to survive, but ultimately they will have to survive each other even more.
Larry: I'm gonna kill you!
Susan: Aw, you're joking!
Yoshi: Yoshi eat some one!
Lemmy Koopa: Every third night they will have to vote off a member. The winner, the last person left, will get a rather nice prize, I think.
Morton: Yes, tell me what the prize is, let me in on it, give me a hint, spill the beans, spill the juice, let it out, no secrets here, what's the prize?
Wendy: Just make sure I win it!
Lemmy Koopa: Ok, the winner gets a million coins.
The King: Candy coins?
Lemmy Koopa: No, real coins, and also a new car.
Ludwig: I suppose that's practical.
Peach: I could stay 42 days for that!
Lemmy Koopa: I thought so.
The others go back to salvaging the car. It’s been a long two minutes, huh?
Lemmy Koopa, Annoyingly Obnoxious Host: You will have the chance to watch this rather interesting though pointless drama. When some one is speaking to the camera, they will have their occupation listed after their name, like this quote. Sixteen losers stranded in a rundown building... They will be in two masses. Koopa Troop has Bowser, Ludwig, Roy, Iggy, Wendy, Morton, Larry, and Susan. Mario Gang has Mario, Luigi, Wario, Waluigi, Peach, Toad, Yoshi, and The King. Who will survive? Find out!
Most of the others are still tearing the car apart. Mario is sleeping again, Luigi is… uh, well, Wario is stealing from Koopa Troop, Waluigi is squished under some junk, Toad is lost somewhere, Yoshi is eating the small stash of food, The King is daydreaming, Bowser is shouting pointless orders, Roy is beating up Iggy again, Wendy is applying the last of her make-up, Morton is talking, Larry is spying on Mario Gang but missing Wario, and Susan is staring at Larry. Ok, so only Peach for Mario Gang and Ludwig for Koopa Troop are working. Most of the car is still intact.
Lemmy Koopa: Time up! Please make your way into the building right behind you, and I'll see you in three days with a special little challenge I made up!
Mario: It's too far away!
Toad: You're practically in it already!
Lemmy Koopa: I'm off for a vacation. See ya!
Lemmy Koopa leaves in a helicopter. The others are shuffling into the split-side building, Mario Gang in the front and Koopa Troop in the back.
Ludwig: Assist me in hoisting our collection of materials!
Roy: He ain't speakin' English!
Bowser: Let's just get everything inside so I can kill Mario.
Days 1 - 3, 16 losers left.
Days 4 - 6, 15 losers left.
Days 7 - 9, 14 losers left.
Days 10 - 12, 13 losers left.
Days 13 - 15, 12 losers left.
Days 16 - 18, 11 losers left.
Days 19 - 21. 10 losers left.
Days 22 - 24, 9 losers left.
Days 25 - 27, 8 losers left.
Days 28 - 30, 7 losers left.
Days 31 - 33, 6 losers left.
Days 34 - 36, 5 losers left.
Days 37 - 39, 4 losers left.
Days 40 - 41, 3 losers left.
Day 42, 2 losers left.
stories, or story ideas? Email
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.