>>Team Mario<<
Stewardess: Hi, I need to check your tickets.
Luigi: Uh, uh, whatever for, miss?
Stewardess: Just a standard inspection, to make sure there aren't any terrorists aboard.
Luigi: Oh, well we're not terrorists! Right, Mario?
Mario: Ahahahahow!!!
Luigi: Uh... here are our tickets.
Stewardess: These are... *sniff sniff* written in tomato sauce.
Luigi: What?! That ticket agent tricked us! I knew we couldn't trust that, uh, Bandit.
Stewardess: We don't have any Bandits working at Lemmy's Land Airport.
Luigi: Oh... uh... Baseball Boy? You know, they're hard to tell apart without their bats...
Stewardess: GUARDS!!!
Two hefty Sledge Brothers appear.
Stewardess: Make sure these two don't get away. They need to see the manager at the end of this flight.
Waluigi (from the opposite end of the plane): Not the manager!
The stewardess leaves.
Luigi: Uh... nice weather we're having, eh?
Sledge Brothers: Grr...
Luigi: Thanks a lot, Mario. Now we're in for it.
Mario: I'm the winner!
Luigi: *sigh*
>>Team Scheme<<
Larry: Do you know what submission Lemmy never accepted?
Bumpty: No...
Larry: Perhaps 20 coins would jog your memory?
Bumpty: No, I don't know! Leave me alone you creepy people!
Larry: Well I'm stumped. I thought everything went through Lemmy!
Ludwig: Allow me to ask just one more individual before we consider alternate methods.
Larry: Go right ahead, we have time.
Ludwig: Pardon me, but do you know the location of a submission Lemmy never accepted?
Sandslash: Yeah, I posted it.
Ludwig and Larry stare at each other.
Ludwig: Ah, yes, well would you mind informing us of its location?
Sandslash: Sure, I was just going there to read it again anyway. It's right down the road. Follow me!
The two players follow Sandslash. Ludwig looks at Larry again and shrugs. Before long they make it to their destination, Koopa RPG, and find their next clue.
*First at route marker*
Larry: *rip* Find the last Fun Fiction of the first Super Koopa.
Lemmy: Teams must now make their way to Super Bowser Bros., the last Fun Fiction written by the first Super Koopa, Koopa T. Quick. Once there, they will find their next clue.
Larry: Do you know where we're going?
Ludwig: The original Super Koopa was Koopa T. Quick.
Larry: Oh man we're good! Taxi!
>>Teams Cheat, Cream, Cute, Dream, Queen, Steam, Talk, and What<<
Roy: Come on!
Susan: Hurry!
Morton: TAXI!!!
Screech!
Susan: Wow, Morton! I didn't know you had it in ya!
Morton: Get in, don't waste time, we're in a race!
Susan: Are you sure I didn't leave the real Morton on the plane?
Varoom!
Toad: Taxi!
Screech!
Toad: OK!!!
Wario: Out of my way!
Waluigi: I'm afraid of ways!
Wario: A Waste of Time (Yours)!
Varoom!
Peach: They just stole my taxi!
Screech!
Toad: Quick, get in!
Varoom!
Yoshi: Wow!
Screech!
Birdo: Goodness you're good!
Varoom!
Clawdia: It sure would be nice if a taxi showed up.
Screech!
Iggy: Our taxi has just arrived!
Roy: And not a minute too soon.
Varoom!
Clawdia: Hm... that didn't quite work.
Wendy: I'll say! If a taxi doesn't come right now, I'm gonna throw a TANTRUM!!!
Screech! Screech! Screech!
Wendy: Ooh! I'll take... this one!
Varoom!
Driver: No pets allowed.
Playful: You'll let me in, or I'll slash your tires!
Driver: Oh fine...
But when Bagels starts to get in...
Driver: Oh no, just the cat.
Bagels: *whine*
Playful: She's with me, though I don't know why. You'll let her in or else.
Driver: Sure, why not. Cab's already ruined now.
Varoom!
Daisy: Come on Dad! Our cab is here NOW!
The King: Oh, I'm sure it will wait.
Daisy: Does the word race mean anything to you?
The King: Makes me think of golf.
Daisy throws her father into the remaining cab and gets in.
Daisy: To A Waste of Time (Yours), and step on it! I want to pass some cars.
>>Team Mario<<
Meanwhile, Mario and Luigi have been led into an isolated room and locked in. The room is completely empty except for two chairs, which they are sitting in, and a large screen on the wall opposite the chairs. Suddenly, a mysterious voice fills the room.
Voice: So, I see the two of you like to trick the airport, eh?
Luigi: No, actually we don-
Voice: SILENCE!!! We have a... special place for criminals like you!
Mario: Oh! Well that-a sure is nice of-a you.
Voice: You get an all expenses paid trip to the lava pits! Hahaha!
Luigi: Listen, uh, sir, I'm really sorry about what my brother and I did, but you see, we're in a race, and-
Voice: Save me your sob story!
Mario: But it's-a me, Mario!
Voice: Oho, I know exactly who you are, plumber!
An image displays on the large screen to show the face of the manager. But it's not just any manager, it's the Manager!
Manager: It's been a long time, Mario... a long, long time.
Luigi: You two know each other?
Manager: Oh yes! Why Mario, don't you remember when we last met?
Mario: ... No.
Manager: On your quest for the seven Stars?
Mario: ... What?
Manager: In the Factory?
Mario: ... What?
Manager: Just before Smithy?!
Mario: ... What?
Manager: Don't play dumb with me, plumbdumb! I know you remember me, and now you're going to pay!
Mario: ... What?
Luigi: Mario, you're not helping.
Manager: But, before I send you to the lava pits, it's time for my rematch, for old time's sake. HA!!!
The Manager jumps through the screen and into the room. Mario leaps out of his chair to engage him, Luigi quickly following.
BATTLE START.
Attacker: Mario
Attack: Jump
Target: Manager
Effect: 27 damage dealt
HP Remaining: 177
Attacker: Luigi
Attack: Punch
Target: Manager
Effect: 12 damage dealt
HP Remaining: 165
Manager: Hey! This is our fight! Stay out of it, Luigi.
Luigi: Hello? My life's at stake?
Manager: Very well...
Attacker: Manager
Attack: Call for Help
Effect: Four Poundette employees jump
into the room
Luigi (somehow in Roy's voice): Now that's not fair!
Attacker: Mario
Attack: Jump
Target: Poundette 1
Effect: 43 damage dealt
HP Remaining: 0
Poundette 1 defeated!
Attacker: Poundette 2
Attack: Smackety
Target: Mario
Effect: 7 damage dealt
HP Remaining: 43
Attacker: Poundette 3
Attack: Whackety
Target: Mario
Effect: 12 damage dealt
HP Remaining: 31
Attacker: Poundette 4
Attack: Woo!
Target: Mario
Effect: 17 damage dealt
HP Remaining: 14
Mario is stunned!
Luigi: Good thing I learned this little trick while Mario was out saving the world.
Attacker: Luigi
Attack: Ultimate Ground Pound
Target: Manager, Poundette 2, Poundette
3, Poundette 4
Effect: 52 damage dealt to each
HP Remaining: 125 Manager; 0 Poundette
2; 0 Poundette 3; 0 Poundette 4
Poundette 2 defeated! Poundette 3 defeated!
Poundette 4 defeated!
Manager: My loyal employees! But I'll still get you, Mario!
Attacker: Manager
Attack: Spear Grinder
Target: Mario
Effect: 0 damage dealt?!
HP Remaining: 14
Manager: What?!
Luigi: Ha! Mario's head is so hard, not even a spear can crack it!
Manager: No!
Attacker: Luigi
Attack: Slam Kick
Target: Manager
Effect: 38 damage dealt
HP Remaining: 87
Manager: Enough! I will get you yet, Mario. But for now, I'm outta here!
Attacker: Manager
Attack: Run Away!
Effect: Manager escapes
Mario and Luigi win!
Found a key!
Luigi: Alright, the key! Now we can get out of here and back in the race.
Mario: ...
Luigi: Um... Mario? The battle's over. You're not stunned anymore.
Mario: Okeydokey!
>>Team Scheme<<
*POP*
Larry: What was that?
Ludwig: It made the acoustics of a flat tire, brother.
Larry: Uh oh...
Ludwig: Not to worry, I can repair it! ... (to the driver) But in return, we require free transportation to Koopa T. Quick Zone and, if we deem it necessary, transportation to one additional location.
Driver: Deal. But hurry! Time is money!
Larry: We know...
>>Team Talk-2nd at Whomp Stop<<
Susan: This player should be good at acting.
Morton: I am great at acting, number one, the best, champion in my field! The audience will love me, adore me, for I, Morton Koopa, Jr., am one tough act to follow, you would not want to go after me, only before me, as-
Susan: Morton! ... Go do the Whomp Stop.
Morton: Ok.
>>Team What<<
Daisy: Good, we just passed a team.
The King: Round and round we go!
Daisy: ... But that will last all of two minutes.
>>Team Dream<<
Bagels: Do you think we could go just a little faster?
The driver slows down.
Bagels: That's... not quite what I meant.
Playful: If we're that much of a bother to you, scumbucket, you should go faster to get rid of us.
The driver turns up the music so he can no longer hear his passengers.
Playful: ... Idiot.
>>Team Cheat-3rd at Whomp Stop<<
Wario: This player should be good at acting.
Waluigi: I'm afraid of acting!
Wario: Yeah, I guess I'll be doing this one.
Wario goes out to meet the director.
Waluigi: Wait! Don't leave me here alone!
>>Team Cream-4th at Whomp Stop<<
Peach: You do it.
Toad: OK!!!
Peach: And hurry!
>>Team Talk<<
Director: Ok, now act out this scene.
Morton: Yoshi hungry, famished, starving, I need food, good food, to eat, put in my belly, and I want some mushroom soup, that is, a fungus in something you might call a brothe, like maybe chicken, or some other kind of soup, and do you have any, can you spare some, give me any, to feed a poor, hungry, famished dinosaur?
Director: That... was very innovative. But you're going to have to do it again.
Morton: Ok, alright, fine, I'll do it again, a second time, once more, in order to please you, make you satisfied, so here I go-
Director: No, first this guy gets a try. You'll have to wait.
Susan: Don't worry, Morton, you'll get it next time.
>>Team Cheat<<
Wario: Heh heh heh-heh!
Director: Just act out this scene and you're on your way.
Wario: Give Yoshi your money- I mean, mushroom soup! Pweepoo!
Director: ... Next.
Waluigi: But the first time was scary enough!
>>Team Cute-5th at Whomp Stop<<
Birdo: We're in luck, Yoshi! You're a natural at acting!
Yoshi: Yoshi do best!
>>Teams Cream, Talk, Cheat, and Cute<<
Toad: I can't act out this scene! This is where Yoshi eats me!
Peach: Toad, you're an idiot! I guess I'll have to do it.
Director: I'm sorry, once you pick a team member to do the Whomp Stop, you can't change.
Toad: But I can't do it!
Director: Too bad. Star boy here gets another try.
Morton: Yoshi... want... eat... Toad.
Director: Closer, but those are the wrong words, and you need to lose the pauses. Ok, now you again.
Wario: Heh heh heh-heh! Wait, I mean-
Director: No. Now, who's that approaching... why, it's Yoshi!
Yoshi: Yoshi!
Director: Um... this is your own part you're acting out... so I guess you can't do it wrong. Here's your clue!
Yoshi: Wow!
>>Team Steam-6th at Whomp Stop<<
Roy: Now that's not fair!
Iggy: What's not fair?
Roy: I... don't know... I just... Open the clue!
Iggy: *rip* ... So, you want to act?
Roy: Do you want my fist in your face?
Iggy: Wish me luck.
>>Team Bean<<
Kolorado and Bowyer board their plane.
Lemmy: Team Bean is now flying to Lemmy's Fun Fiction, more than an hour behind the other teams.
>>Team Queen-7th at Whomp Stop<<
Clawdia: Do you want to do it, dear?
Wendy: You'd better do it.
Clawdia: Alright.
Wendy: Good luck!
>>Team Cute<<
Birdo: Get yourself to the only published submission Lemmy never accepted.
Yoshi: Yoshi no know where go.
Birdo: Hmm...
>>Teams Cheat, Cream, Queen, Steam, and Talk<<
Wario: Yoshi need Mushroom soup!
Director: No.
Toad: NOKAY!!!
Director: No.
Iggy: Yoshi hungry. Have any mushroom soup?
Director: No... I mean yes! Yes! Here's your clue!
Iggy: Thanks!
Roy: Move it, pipsqueak!
Director: One down... next!
Clawdia: Yoshi hungry. Have any mushroom soup?
Director: Yes! Here's your clue!
Wendy: Way to go Mom!
>>Team What-8th at Whomp Stop<<
Daisy: So, Dad, are you any good at acting?
The King: Yeah, here's my Mario impression! It... dumb... is... Sorry-o?
Daisy: No, of course not.
>>Team Mario<<
Mario: It's-a me, Mario!
Screech!
Driver: Where to?
Luigi: A Waste of Ti...
Driver: Is there a problem, Mr. Mario's Brother?
Luigi: ... Mario, I think we should go for the Magic Lamp.
Lemmy: There is only one Magic Lamp hidden on each leg of the race. The team that finds it can skip all tasks and warp directly to the pitstop. However, once a team has claimed a Magic Lamp they can never use another one, so teams must decide when it is most advantageous to go for it. In this leg, teams must locate the secret warp pipe hidden in a cave behind the Z District. It could be tough to find, but the first team to do so can claim the Magic Lamp.
Mario: Mamamia!
Luigi: I agree, but all the other teams are ahead of us. It could be our only chance.
Mario: Okeydokey!
Luigi: Good. To the Z District!
Varoom!
>>Team Scheme<<
Ludwig: I have successfully repaired the tire! Woahohowoahohowaha!!!
Driver: You should get that checked out.
Larry: Never mind that, let's go! Now!
Varoom!
>>Teams Cute, Queen, and Steam<<
Yoshi: Anyone know where go?
Roy: Not a clue, dino dweeb.
Iggy: But the clue's right- OW!
Wendy: Look, a trail of candy wrappers!
Birdo: What's that have to do with anything?
Wendy: Ludwig went this way!
Roy: You just made that up!
Wendy: No, honest! Look how they're folded into the shapes of tools! No one but Ludwig would do that.
Roy: No way!
Yoshi: Yoshi no sure.
Birdo: Why don't you eat one, Yoshi? Then tell us what it tastes like.
Yoshi: Yeah!
Yoshi shoots out his tongue and eats one of the discarded candy wrappers.
Yoshi: Bada, bum!
Wendy: Well?
Yoshi: Taste like chocolate.
Roy: What else?!
Yoshi: Taste like Ludwig.
Wendy: See? What did I tell ya?
Iggy: So what are we waiting for?
Birdo: Come on, Yoshi!
Clawdia: Wait a minute. We're out in front, there are plenty of teams behind us, so we're not in danger. Why not go together, help each other out?
Yoshi: Clawdia have point...
Roy: I don't like it, but I guess it's a good idea.
Wendy: Good, now let's go!
>>Team Dream-9th at Whomp Stop<<
Playful: If I'd known you would go this slow, I would've slashed your tires and walked!
Bagels: I would've liked a good run!
Playful: You would, wouldn't you?
Driver: That'll be 30 coins.
Playful: Here you go, but first...
*slash* *slash* *hiss...*
Driver: MY TIRES!!!
Bagels: That wasn't nice...
Playful: Now might be a good time to walk slightly faster than you usually would.
Bagels: You mean run?
Playful: I don't run.
Bagels: Well I do!
Playful: Good, and grab the clue on the way.
Bagels: *bark bark*
>>Team Mean<<
Rocky Wrench: We're almost there! Where do you want me to land?
Bowser: A Waste of Time (Yo-
Wart: Hang on a ribbit second, Bowser. I think we should look for the Magic Lamp.
Bowser: Are you telling me you think we're in last place?!
Wart: Yeah, kind of.
Bowser: WELL WE'RE NOT!!! AND I'LL KILL ANYONE WHO TELLS ME OTHERWISE!!!
Wart: Oh Bowser, be realistic, ribbit! We lost a lot of time, and we have no idea where the other teams are. We can't take the chance!
Bowser: Grr... Fine.
Wart: Thank you. Take us to the Z District.
Rocky Wrench: Aye aye!
>>Teams Cheat, Cream, Dream, Talk, and What<<
Director: No no no! Next!
Toad: FINE!!! I mean, OK!!! Yoshi hungry, have any mushroom soup? Well?!
Director: Here's your clue, now get out of here!
Toad: YAY!!!
Peach: Toad, you're still an idiot!
Director: Next.
Daisy: Yoshi hungry. Have any- DAD! WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!
*thump*
Daisy: Ooh...
Director: Next!
Bagels: Yoshi hungry. Have any mushroom soup?
Director: Yes! Here's your clue!
Bagels: *bark bark*
Playful: Calm down, you beast. And don't put the clue in your mouth.
Director: Next!
Morton: Yoshihungryhaveanymushroomsoup?
Director: ... Good enough. Here's your clue.
Morton: Thank you for giving, handing, awarding-
Susan: Morton! ... That's enough.
Director: Next!
Waluigi dressed as Wario: Um, uh, Yoshi hungry. Have any... OH NO!!! I'M AFRAID OF MUSHROOM SOUP!!!
Wario: WAH!
Director: Next.
>>Teams Cute, Queen, and Steam-2nd at route marker<<
Roy: Find the last-
Birdo: Fun Fiction of-
Clawdia: The first Super Koopa.
Iggy: Let's find a trail!
Yoshi: No trail...
Wendy: It's Koopa T. Quick!
Iggy: Wow, Wendy! How did you know?
Wendy: Lemmy told me one time.
Iggy: He... never told me... *sniff*
Wendy: Aw shaddup!
Birdo: Roy... are you ok? You were moving your mouth there.
Roy: What? Oh, uh, yeah, I'm fine.
Clawdia: We should find a taxi... we can squeeze into one, right?
Yoshi: Oh, Yoshi hungry!
Birdo: Ooh, we can go to the restaurant across the street!
Yoshi: Wow!
Roy: Don't expect us to wait up for you!
Iggy: Yeah! We're going very fast!
Birdo: Don't worry, we'll catch up.
Clawdia: Alright. Good luck!
Yoshi: Yoshi wish luck!
Birdo: Aww...
Roy: Blahblahblahblah TAXI!!!
>>Team Mario<<
Screech!
Luigi: Thank you... what do we owe you?
Driver: For Mr. Mario and... and... what's your name again?
Luigi: Luigi.
Driver: For Mr. Mario and Louie, no charge.
Louie: Uh, thanks... I guess.
Driver: Have a nice day!
Mario: You very good! See you next time!
Luigi: Let's find that warp pipe! I'll look over here, and you'll look... Mario, warp pipes can't fit under a pebble.
Mario: Okeydokey!
>>Teams Cream, Dream, and Talk<<
Peach: How can Lemmy expect us to know what submission he never accepted?
Morton: Some teams must think they know, because we didn't finish first yet the other teams aren't here, standing right where we are, well not right where we are, that would violate the laws of physics, which you can't do even though I hate laws, but they'd be standing nearby, in our presence, but instead they have gone somewhere, to another location where we are not, but I do not know where that is, it could be anywhere, like Super Mario BROTHERS 64 or it could be-
Bagels: They went this way.
Susan: How can you tell?
Bagels: Well, most of the players in the race never bathe...
Playful: Disgusting cretins! *lick*
Toad: Let's party!
Peach: Can't you take this seriously for once, Toad?
Toad: OK!!!
Bagels: Race you to the route marker!
Susan: No one else can win. You're the only one who knows where we're going.
Bagels: ... Oh. Hey, Playful! If we run, we can maybe lose them and get there first!
Peach: Don't you dare!
Morton: Yeah! That wouldn't be nice, or friendly, or even fair, we need your help, so let's go together, hand in hand, well not really, I hate holding hands, but you know what I-
Susan: Morton!
Playful: I don't run.
Bagels: Aw...
>>Team Scheme-1st at Junction<<
Ludwig: We have arrived! Open the clue, youngest sibling!
Larry: *rip* Junction.
Lemmy: A Junction is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this case, teams must choose between Fall and Wall. In Fall, teams must ride Albatosses until they are above their next clue. Then, they must jump down and make a safe landing. It's a fast ride but very scary, and players that break bones or kill themselves are likely to lose valuable time. In Wall, teams must find a way to get through a solid brick wall. It's not scary, but it could take a long time to figure out a way through. Teams will find their clue on the other side.
Larry: I don't want to fight a wall. Let's Fall.
Ludwig: Don't be foolish, amicable acquaintance! Observe, there is a door in the wall!
Indeed, the brick wall, which is to the brothers' left and extends as far as they can see, features a door in the center.
Larry: There's no way that door's unlocked!
Ludwig: There is but one way to draw a conclusion! In the event that it veritably is locked, we can resort to our alternative.
Ludwig and Larry approach the wall. When they reach it, Larry halfheartedly grips the handle of the door, expecting to meet resistance. But, to his surprise, the door opens. Through the doorway he can see the next blue box with Lemmy's gorgeous face on it.
Larry: I don't believe it, it worked! Lemmy must think we're idiots.
Ludwig: Remember, he that shares fifty percent of my genes, many of the contestants are.
Larry: Oh yeah. Here's the clue! *rip* Make your way to Monday's Child.
Lemmy: Teams must now make their way to Monday's Child, the first story to be submitted to Lemmy's Land, and the pitstop for the first leg of the RACE. The last team to check in here, will be eliminated.
Larry: The last team to check in will be eliminated.
Ludwig: Let us make haste!
>>Team Mario<<
Luigi: I give up. I think we're on a wild goose chase, and the goose is winning.
Mario: Mamamia!!!
Geh geh geh!
Luigi: Geh geh geh? That means... Mario fell in a warp pipe! I'm coming, Mario!
Luigi whirls around, quickly locates a warp pipe behind some rocks, and dives in. Seconds later, he emerges from the warp pipe and flies into Mario, who forgot to move after being unceremoniously dumped outside of it. Luigi stands up, brushes himself off, and looks around. The two are in what looks to be an altar short a ceiling, with a large pedestal in the middle. And on the pedestal...
Luigi: It's the Magic Lamp!
Luigi runs up, grabs the lamp, and starts to rub it. Soon smoke emerges and fills the room. When it dissipates, the Brothers look up... and up... and up... and can barely make out the top of the fifty-foot genie that appeared.
Mario: Wahoo!
Luigi: You said it, bro.
Genie: Hahaha! I am the Mushroom Genie. I will take you to the pitstop as you wish, masters.
The genie rises into the air, then slams hard into the ground, sending the Brothers skyward. The scene changes to that of a battlefield. In the middle of it all is a black mat behind which is Lemmy, who is wearing the sternest expression that a clown prince can. On his right stands Monday's Child's representative, Heidi Koopa. All of a sudden, Mario and Luigi land on the mat and turn, Mario Party 4 style, to face Lemmy.
Heidi: Welcome to Monday's Child!
Mario: Hoohoo!
Lemmy: Mario and Luigi... you're the first team to arrive.
***TEAM MARIO - FIRST PLACE - 4:53 PM***
Mario: Woohoo! I'm-a the party star!
Luigi: Let's just see if we can hold this lead.
Lemmy: And I've got some good news.
Mario: What is it?!
Lemmy: As winners of the-
Mario: What is it?!
Lemmy: As winners-
Mario: What is it?!
Lemmy: As-
Mario: What is it?!
Lemmy: Luigi?
Luigi: My pleasure.
Luigi stuffs his hat into Mario's mouth, causing him to flail his arms in a wild, useless manner.
Lemmy: Thank you. Now, as I was saying, as winners of the first leg of the RACE, you will both receive an autographed picture of me, which you can enjoy at the end of the RACE.
Luigi: My goodness... how will we ever contain ourselves until then?
Lemmy: You'll make do, I'm sure.
Luigi shakes his head.
>>Teams Cheat and What<<
Director: NEXT!!!
Daisy: Yoshi hungry. Have any mushroom soup?
*thud*
Daisy: DAD!!!
Director: Finally! Get out of my sight!
Daisy: Gladly!
Director: Now you.
Wario: How can I be the only one left?!
Waluigi: We're alone! I'm scared!
Wario: Yoshi is hungry. Do you have some mushroom soup?
Director: ... Um...
Wario: Here's 50 coins.
Director: Here's your clue.
Wario: Let's GO!
Wario grabs Waluigi and runs back to the road, where they find The King and Daisy.
Wario: Listen, we're going to have to run very fast. We might be the last two teams.
Waluigi: But where are we going? You didn't even read the clue.
Wario: No time! No one else took a taxi, so let's just go... this way!
Waluigi: But I'm afraid of this way!
Daisy: We have to keep up with them! It's our only chance!
The King: Oh, there are lots of Chance Time spaces.
Daisy: ... I may as well be talking to a wall.
The King: I'm a wall...
>>Team Mean<<
Rocky Wrench: Here we are! Good luck!
Wart: We need to look for a warp pipe. Stay here, in case we need you again.
Rocky Wrench: Uh, I'd- I'd like to, b-but I need to go, on a da-da-
Bowser: ROAR!!!
Rocky Wrench: I'll be right here.
>>Teams Steam and Queen-2nd at Junction<<
Clawdia: Do you want to do Wall or Fall, dear?
Wendy: Neither! They expect me to jump off an Albatoss? In these shoes?
Clawdia: And that wall does look rather solid...
Roy: Let's Fall.
Iggy: But that wall doesn't look so tough...
Roy: I said fall! If I hurt my knuckles on the wall, I won't be able to pound you.
Iggy: Well that sounds- OW! Ok ok, we'll fall!
As Wendy and Clawdia look on, Roy and Iggy get on two nearby Albatosses and take to the skies.
Albatoss: Hey fatso, ya might want to lose a few pounds there.
Roy: Why you little! If you weren't the only thing stopping me from a long fall onto jagged rocks, I'd pound you!
Soon the two are above the clue.
Albatoss: Everybody off!
The Albatosses tilt to the side, sending their passengers into freefall.
Iggy: WHEE!!!
Roy: MOMMY!!!
Clawdia: DON'T WORRY, MOMMY'S HERE!!!
*BAM!* *thud*
The two hit the ground and, somehow, are relatively unharmed.
Iggy: Ow... my leg.
Roy: Shut up, crybaby. Just grab the clue and let's go.
Iggy: *rip* Go to the pitstop.
Wendy: There's no way I'm doing that!
Clawdia: Now, dear, it's either that or the wall.
Wendy: No! I don't want to! Wahah!
Clawdia: Oh dear...
>>Team Scheme<<
Larry: There it is! Let's go!
Ludwig and Larry race to the mat.
Heidi: Welcome to Monday's Child!
Lemmy: Ludwig and Larry... you're team number two.
***TEAM SCHEME - SECOND PLACE - 5:07 PM***
Larry: How did someone beat us here? We were first at all the route markers!
Ludwig: Worry not, my father's son. One of our competitors must have utilized the Magic Lamp.
Larry: Heh heh heh, but we'll show them!
>>Teams Cream, Dream, and Talk-5th at route marker<<
Bagels: I see it! *bark bark*
Toad: YAY!!!
Peach: Let me through!
Susan: Be patient, we're all in this together.
Playful: We who? I'd just as soon make you lunch.
Morton: *rip* ... The first Super Koopa?! Who is that? I don't know, do you know? How about you? Someone has to know the answer, the solution to this question, this puzzler, this riddle, this incomplete clue, and-
Peach: SHUT UP!!!
Susan: Hey, you don't have to be nasty!
Peach: Oh yeah?! Well I've got something to say to you, Little Miss Nice, and-
Toad: Let's just ask someone if he knows.
Playful: Who are we going to ask?! There's no one here!
The camera pans out to show that no one else is around.
Toad: ... Ah. That could be a bit of a problem.
Peach: Toad, you're an idiot!
>>Team Bean<<
Bowyer: Arrived early we did, so in luck we are.
Kolorado: Right you are, old sport. Let us hurry to A Waste of Time (Yours).
Bowyer: If a mistake another team did make, then in this race we still could be.
>>Team Mean<<
Wart: Bowser, I found it!
Bowser: Good work. Well, what are you waiting for? Jump in!
Bowser manages to stuff his older brother into the warp pipe, then jumps in himself. The two emerge in some kind of altar, the same one Mario and Luigi found, only in place of the Magic Lamp they find a sign.
Wart: Magic Lamp taken, go away.
Bowser: What?! ROAR!!!
Bowser, in a fit of rage, burns the sign into a pile of ash.
Wart: Well, at least if someone else comes here, ribbit, they'll be confused.
Bowser: Forget that, we need to get back to the helicopter!
Bowser and Wart exit through the warp pipe, only to find their helicopter flying away.
Rocky Wrench: Free! Free at la- AHH!!!
CRASH!!!
Bowser: Great! Now what are we going to do?
Wart: Taxi?
Screech!
>>Team Cheat-8th at route marker- and Cream, Dream, and Talk<<
Wario: We've got teams at 12 'o clock!
Waluigi: I'm afraid of teams!
Wario: *rip* (8th at route marker) So, what's the hold up, guys?
Susan: We don't know who the first Super Koopa is.
Playful: And I am NOT happy.
Waluigi: AHH! That cat looks scary!
Playful: I am scary!
Waluigi: AHH!!!
Wario: First Super Koopa, eh? Heh heh heh-heh, I know that one!
Bagels: Tell us, tell us!
Morton: Yeah! Spill the beans, tell us the answer, we want to know, where to go, and that rhymed, isn't that neat, I think I'll-
Peach: SHUT UP!!!
Susan: I said be nice!
Peach: And I said-
Toad: QUIET!!!
Peach: ... Toad... I didn't know you had it in you.
Wario: Now, as I was saying... usually I wouldn't tell you guys, but since I'm in such a good mood...
Waluigi: Wario in a good mood?! AHH!
Wario: I'll tell you that the first Super Koopa was... Lardlad! Heh heh heh-heh, you believe me right? You do, huh? Huh?
Playful: No.
Wario: Oh, what do you know? I'm out of here. Taxi!
Screech!
Wario: We're going to... (Wario whispers)
Varoom!
The remaining players stare at each other.
Peach: Toad, you're an idiot! We should have called a taxi and asked the driver!
Toad: OK!!!
Susan: Never mind that, let's just call a taxi now.
Screech! Wario's taxi has returned, driving in reverse.
Morton: Uh...
Wario: Waluigi, get in here!
Waluigi: I was afraid you'd forgotten me!
Wario: I wish.
Varoom!
Morton: ... That was weird.
Playful: TAXI!!!
Screech!
Playful: We're all getting in. And if you have a problem with that, you can have a date with my claws.
Peach: Follow that cab!
>>Team What-9th at route marker<<
Daisy: Oh wait, wait! Wait for us!
Varoom! The taxi carrying the three teams at the route marker drives away.
Daisy: Great, just great. We're in last.
The King: Last is the best!
Daisy: No, it's not. *rip* ... The first Super Koopa. Great, I don't know that.
The King: Koopa T. Quick.
Daisy: ... What'd you say?
The King: Oh, I said the sky is a pretty shade of green today.
Daisy: No you didn't, you said Koopa T. Quick! And I think you're right!
The King: No no, it's green, not white.
Daisy: TAXI!
>>Team Steam<<
Roy: Come on, Iggy, move it!
Iggy: I'm trying!
Roy steps on the mat. A minute later, Iggy joins him.
Roy: 'Bout time.
Iggy: Well sorry!
Heidi: Welcome to Monday's Child!
Lemmy: Roy and Iggy... you're team number three.
***TEAM STEAM - THIRD PLACE - 5:41 PM***
Iggy: Eh? Eh? Not bad, right?
Roy: ... It'll do.
>>Team Cute<<
Birdo: *sigh* I love you, Yoshi...
Yoshi: Ohe ov iro oo.
Birdo: What?
Yoshi: *gulp* Yoshi love Birdo too.
Birdo: Aww, you're so sweet! Are you full yet?
Yoshi: Yoshi no full, but Yoshi no hungry either. Ready go.
Birdo: Great, let's get back to the race!
>>Team Bean-10th at Whomp Stop<<
Kolorado: Ah, it's the route marker, old bean!
Bowyer: *rip* Good at acting player must be.
Kolorado: I was rather hoping you would speak normally when reading, old sport.
Bowyer: One to talk you are not.
Kolorado: Right you are.
Bowyer: Good at acting I am not, so do it you must.
Kolorado: Very well, old bean!
***
Kolorado: I say, could you spare some mushroom soup?
Director: Wrong! Next!
Kolorado: I say, good man, I am the only one here.
Director: Oh... Try again, I guess.
Bowyer: Close you were!
Kolorado: Right you are! Now then, Yoshi hungry. Could you see your way to sparing some soup, old bean?
Director: Grr...
Kolorado: Only kidding, old sport, only kidding. Yoshi hungry. Have some mushroom soup?
Director: Ah... Here's your clue.
Kolorado: Why thank you, my good man! (to Bowyer) You must always keep a sense of humor, you see.
Bowyer: Right you are.
Kolorado: I say, that sentence actually makes sense, old bean!
Bowyer: Read the clue you must.
Kolorado: Ah yes. *rip* Get yourself to the only published submission Lemmy never accepted. I say, this could be quite a puzzler.
Bowyer: Koopa RPG that means.
Kolorado: Goodness! How did you know that?
Bowyer: Too much time have I on my hands.
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