If you’re reading this story, you should’ve already read the original The Good, the Bad, and the Torte, a most original and fascinating story by none other than Chef Torte. The sequel to his brilliant work will be out soon. Until then, enjoy this prequel to the sequel, written by me. It takes place a few days after the epilogue of GBT.
Chapter One: Torte Redux
A Week After GBT
Mushroom Kingdom Castle
Three skulking shadows slinked silently through the night and down one of the many twisting pathways of the Mushroom Kingdom Castle. Suddenly, the leader, Chef Torte, stopped abruptly, causing the figures behind him to slam into him. “You fools! Keep in line, lest zhe guardz hear us!”
Genius Guy, one of his partners in crime, nodded, placing a finger to his mouth. His apprentice, Apprentice, followed suit. “Sir, if I may implore, what are we doing again?”
Chef Torte stopped again. “Vhat? Did not I already explain zhis for zhe millionth time?”
Genius Guy shook his head. “No, only nine-hundred ninety-nine thousand, four-hundred and fifty-six times. We need at least a dozen more reminders, plus, the audience will probably want to know for exposition purposes.”
Chef Torte straightened up, looking towards YOU. “Oh, yez, moi forgot! Zhe audience must be informed of moi’s daztardly and evil plan. Here it iz, zo pay close attention. Zince Mario ist now Stario afteir zhat veird accident freak plot twist-”
Genius Guy giggled. “His new form is super cool!”
“SHUT UP! Anyvay, before I vhas so rudely interrupted: it von’t be as easy to capture Peach. Zo, instead of capturing heir, ve vill simply capture zhe Chancellor… hehehehe.”
Genius Guy politely raised his hand. “Um… boss, with all due respect, that’s against the rules.”
“Vhat rulez? Vhat ist zhis you speak about?”
Genius Guy pulled out a book two times as large as himself straight out of his pocket. It was entitled "The Rules Of Super Mario Fan Fiction".
“Vhat’s fan fiction?”
“Er… nevermind that. Rule number 8653 states that all kidnappings starting off stories must result in one Princess Peach being captured, and not anyone else, especially the Chancellor; that means you Chef Torte!”
Chef Torte grabbed the book. “You haf to be kidding, I… VHAT? It really sayz moi’s name! Oh, vell, ve’ll do it anyvay. I care not for zhese rules!”
Genius Guy tsked, putting away the book. “Ok, but I’m warning you… Ryan-oshi is just the sort of Yoshi that would put some kind of out-of-wack plot twist at the end to mess up all your plans. (wink wink)”
“SHUT UP, and STOP WINKING!”
Chancellor’s Room
The chancellor of the Mushroom Kingdom lay in his bed, quietly thinking to himself, a very rare thing for such a stupid individual. “I wonder if a deranged chef and his rip-off cohorts will crash into my room tonight, stashing me in a bag and carrying me off to some foreign island by the name of Soshi… nah, it’ll never happen.”
Suddenly, the door burst open and Chef Torte ran in, carrying a burlap bag. “Hahaha, I am Chef Torte, a deranged chef with his rip-off cohorts here to stash you in a bag and carry you off to some foreign island by the name of Soshi.”
Chancellor smiled. “Wow, how amazing! What a coicidence!”
“Er… I von’t ask. Anyvay, hop in zhis bag if you vish to keep your noggin’ free of any unsightly blemishes!”
“Um… no. I don’t think so.”
Chef Torte fumed, signaling Genius Guy over. “Ok, ve’ll do it zhe hard vay. Eizher you get in zhe burlap bag o’ kidnapping, or you vill face zhe aweszome poweirs of zhe magnificent, zhe all-mighty Genius Guy!”
Genius Guy ran, did an acrobatic flip, and landed on his face. “Ow, my poor snoz! I hate my luck.”
“Oh, crud! Vell, howz about zhis! Apprentice, show zhis unbeliever your stupendous pancake flipping batter omb supreme! NOW!”
The Apprentice hoisted a pan into the air, loading it up with batter. Once it was hot and greasy, he slung it… right onto Chef Torte’s face. “YOU FOOL! You’ve burnt my perfect vizage! Now I’ll haf to do it myzelf! Get out of heir and make sure zhat Changling and Embert haf zhe Torte Copter ready.”
The two scurried out of there fast. Pancake dripping off of his face, Chef Torte whisked the chancellor (gasp) into his Bag O’ Kidnapping and skedaddled out of there.
Plumber Pad
Mario (nickname for Stario to end confusion) and Luigi were sleeping soundly in their green and red beds. Mario’s red color reminded Luigi of Mario’s old form. Still, his super powerful brother wasn’t that much different… at least he wasn’t then. Before any of them could do anything, an earth-shattering blast blew the roof off of their house. The brothers woke up in a flash and looked upwards. Bowser, in his Klown Kopter, was laughing, Iggy and Larry by his side. Two ropes dropped down and the Koopas slid down them, landing in the house. “Hey, plumber losers! Hehehe… now we have a tool of great strength. We found these super cool element wands in a slightly used Ryan-oshi fan fiction bin, so we snatched ‘em up,” Larry cackled. “Now time for you to meet mine, the Nature Wand!” He waved it in the air, and a strong vine wrapped the brothers up tight. Even Mario, with his new Stario powers, could not break out of it.
For extra security, Iggy lifted his wand. “Now, for the finishing touch. Ok, Growth Wand, do your stuff!” At a wave from his wand, the vine and plumber entanglement was shrunk down to an easy-to-carry pocket size. “Hehe, you can play with my Gameboy Pocket. Iggy put them in a shell pocket of his. “Ok, King Dad, lift us up. Mission accomplished!”
Mushroom Way
The next morning, Ryan-oshi, a well-known Yoshi writer, and Crazykoopa, one of the more famous Koopas alligned on the side of good, were walking down a dusty road, discussing matters of random importance when…
They happened upon Mario’s house and saw the smoking remains of the roof to the side of it. Kamek hovered over it with three other Magikoopas. Spotting them, he flew over. “What are you freaks doing here? This property has been condemned by the Official Koopa Board of Health for being just plain nasty. No one’s allowed in this quarantine zone!”
Ryan-oshi peaked over his shoulder. “What did you do with Stario and Luigi?”
Crazykoopa snorted. “Do you actually call him Stario? That’s such a stupid name.”
“I thought it was cool. It’s a lot better than some name that stereotypes you as a fat plumber that eats spaghetti.”
“And your point is…”
Kamek shot two small shock blasts at both of them, getting their attention. “Stop fighting amongst yourselves! I’m feeling left out. Now, in which way do you meddling snoops want to be disposed of?”
Ryan-oshi nodded to Crazykoopa, and they both jumped to either side of him, spinning around. Ryan-oshi threw an egg, and Crazykoopa used a shell shot. Kamek was caught in the middle, falling to the ground. “Hey, you can’t do that. You’re supposed to be sub-character nobodies.”
Crazykoopa had his arms crossed. “Yeah, and you’re not supposed to be such a loser. Sometimes life isn’t fair.”
Isle of Soshi
Chef Torte emptied his captured contents onto the grounds of his in-the-process-of-being-repaired base. “Now zhat zhe firzt phaze of my masteir plan ist complete, it’s time to get on viz zhe show!”
Genius Guy touched a finger to his black-hole mouth. “I thought the last plan was your master plan. Oh, and what’s the second phase?”
Chef Torte gulped. “It vas all a clever ruse. All zhat nonsense about fruit and everyzing… hehe… zhat vas just a warm-up. Now ist time for zhe masteir plan. Zhis ist vhat ve’ve been vaiting for!”
“You mean you meant for us to get totally embarrassed and for Soshi and the Grand Glum Reaper to get killed?”
Chef Torte, hesitantly, laughed. “Er… yeah, didn’t you realize zhat? Ha, you are such an idiot! Zhat proves it! Now, stand back as… VHAT?”
Genius Guy had his hand raised again. “What exactly is the second phase?”
Chef Torte threw Whomp at him. “Ooops, you’ve become handicapped for zhe moment. I vill tell you lateir, but for now, cappuccino time!”
Apprentice spoke anxiously. “Remember, sir, Yoshi ate that.”
Chef Torte fell anime-style. “Oh, zhat’s right! Vell, zhat vas part of zhe plan too, because, to replace it, I haf something even betteir! It’s a Dasani vater dispensor vhis all zhe perks.”
Genius Guy was out from under Whomp. “I don’t think you’re allowed to say Dasani. What perks can come with a water fountain?”
Chef Torte spazzed. “It’s not a fountain; it’s a high-quality Dasani water beverage dispensor vhiz zhe vorks!”
Suddenly, a Dasani spokesperson came in, bopped Chef Torte, and took away the “works”. “Hey, bring zhose back! Oh, vell, zhe vorks or gone. Too bad. Still, ve can enjoy zhe benefits of ice, cold vater anytime!”
“Whomp like water, go SPLASH when Whomp POUND!”
Chef Torte screamed as Whomp belly flopped onto the brand new water dispensor. “NO!!!”
Chapter Two
Mushroom Kingdom Castle
In the same hectic morning that Chef Torte was spazzing over water dispensors, Peach was desperately trying to calm a panicked body of Mushroomer officials. Half of them were at each other’s throats while the rest were throwing paper airplanes and playing paper football. “For the love of all that is sane and reasonable, STOP!”
Her shrill voice filled the air, causing the entire body to sit down and shut up. “That’s better! Anyway, as most of you know, the chancellor was kidnapped from the castle last night. We must get him back. He’s pretty much the symbol of our entire government and the only thing that keeps it together.”
A befuddled King Toadstool muddled out something. “Dear daughter, I’m the king. I can rule in his absence, ya know; it is my job!”
Peach patted him on the head. “There, there. You know you aren’t my father. I’m only adopted. Besides, the Mushroom Kingdom is heading towards a Parliamentary Democracy, meaning you are just a figurehead.”
“Well, well…”
“Anyway, here’s the town’s Secretary of Defense, Toad.”
The loyal Mushroomer walked up, holding a pile of papers and wearing some groovy dark glasses. “A thorough investigation of the crime scene reveals this piece of evidence!” Toad held up a salt shaker with a C and T… or… wait… that’s a K… I think… on it. “It’s obvious the criminal is none other than… Crazykoopa, our “trusted” friend.”
An uproar started, but Peach stopped it. “How can we base this most dire accusation on a poorly inscribed salt shaker and one match with initials that could fit anyone?”
Toad pushed her out of the way. “Now, now, Princess, let us handle these matters. Go back to your room and have a tea party.”
“Well! I never…”
“Officers, spread out and find that traitorous Koopa!”
Mushroom Way
Kamek summoned his magic broom, which lifted him him back into the air. He straightemed his long, flowing blue cloak, trying to regain his composure and dignity. “So, you want to play rough, eh? I can play rough.”
He zoomed up into the air, forming purple auras above his head. In a few moments, he was sending rapid shots down ontop of the two heroes heads. With some dodging techniques, they stayed safe. “Why can’t you stay still? No matter, try this one on for size. This spell is a doozy, and it’s sure to make you woozy. You won’t like this one a bit, because it’ll never miss!”
After recovering from the barrage of rhyming, Ryan-oshi pulled out a sword. He used it to deflect the shot. Kamek, in return, deflected it back, setting up a tennis match ordeal. Back and forth the blast went, until finally…
“AGGH!” Kamek fell from the air, two Magikoopas coming over to help. Crazykoopa charged up his shell with fire, slinging it at both of them. Ryan-oshi followed up by using his weakened energy to send two eggs to intercept their ugly faces. Kamek struggled, hopping back on his broom again. “I’m weak, I must admit; I’ve spent the day fighting with the Koopalings, all of them, and testing out the strengths of their new wands. This is why I fall so easily! You are not my better… oops. I shouldn’t have said that.”
Ryan-oshi smiled. “Magical wands, eh? Funny, I remember writing a story about element wands once… oh, nevermind. Give us Stario and Luigi back!”
Kamek cackled, healing his friends with a bag of powder and floating into the air. He flew off. “You’ll have to come and get them!”
As he left, a group of Mushroomers wearing Royal Guard uniforms, marched up. “By order of the Secretary of Defense, in charge of the Kingdom in the Chancellor’s absence, you, Crazykoopa, are hereby arrested on charges of royal kidnap and littering.”
Ryan-oshi stepped in front of the approaching Mushroomers with handcuffs. “What’s the meaning of this?”
Crazykoopa scratched his head. “Littering?”
One of the Mushroomers broke down in tears. “Yes, you threw a salt shaker on the floor. Don’t you care about Mother Plit?” (sweat drop)
“A salt shaker?” exclaimed Ryan-oshi. “Sounds more like the work of… CHEF TORTE!”
The head Mushroomer laughed. “That bumbling fool perished in a volcano a few days ago back when Mario turned into Stario. Yoshi saw it himself.”
Ryan-oshi took off his glasses and examined them, thinking. Crazykoopa was taken off by the guards. I'd better go see Yoshi. He can give me a first-person take on this situation.
The Island of Soshi
Chef Torte cracked his LICORICE STICK OF PAIN on the backs of Changling, Whomp, and Apprentice, bading them to repair the base. “Zhat’s it! Verk like you’ve never verked before, vhich von’t be too hard, considering you don’t do any verk.”
Changling sniffled, rubbing his eyes. “Why does Genius Guy get to slack off while we do all the work? Misery loves company!”
Chef Torte cracked his LICORICE STICK OF PAIN again, relishing in the scream. “Zhat does not concern you. Genius Guy ist verking on phaze three of my oh-so masteir plan. In fact, I vill go check on him now. Don’t slack off!”
Chef Torte entered the Room O’ Secracy, the room in which phase three was being carried out. Inside, to his dismay, he saw Genius Guy slurping a soda, reading a Cool Guy Weekly, and watching I Love Lucy. “Genius Guy! Vhat, pray tell, ist zhe meaning of zhiz?! Haf you even started on phaze three yet?”
Genius Guy jumped up, the soda flying through the air and landing all over Chef Torte. Genius Guy rushed over, spit-cleaning Torte’s face. “Er… all better?”
Chef Torte, turning rapidly red, exploded. “Unless you haf phase three done by zhe time I get back from vashing my spit-soaked face off viz a gallon of gasoline, I’m going to zee to it zhat your head ist mounted over my stove!”
Genius Guy hurried off to work, as Chef Torte went to find some gasoline.
Outside, Chef Torte dug around, eventually finding an oil well (blink blink). After burning the caked Shy Guy saliva off, he yelled in fury. “Vhy do I haf to verk viz such idiots?!Oh vell. Phaze three is almost complete. I should cheer up.”
With a new light on his face he came back in. Inside, his entire crew was jammed beside Genius Guy on his chair, eating popcorn, slurping soda, and watching I Love Lucy. “Vhat’s going on?!”
Changling giggled. “Come on, sir, Lucy just got into trouble again. Ethel’s gotta keep the sec… ret… Torte? WHOMP! I thought I told you to lock him out.”
“Whomp no know that. Whomp in trouble now.”
Chef Torte whipped out his PAN OF PAIN and LICORICE STICK OF PAIN. He was going to whip out his SALT SHAKER OF PAIN, but it wasn’t there. “Hey, vhere’s my salt shaker? Zomeone stole it! Zhis ist outrage!”
Genius Guy darted out of there. Changling tried to leave, but Torte threw the PAN OF PAIN at him, toppling him to the ground. “GENIUS GUY! YOU LEFT MOI’S SALT SHAKER AT ZHE MUSHROOM KINGDOM!”
Genius Guy cowered in a corner. “Eh… it was an… accident?”
Chef Torte sat down, trembling. “Nozhing else can go wrong. Vhy, oh vhy, vhy, vhy?!”
Embert poked his head around the corner. “Er, sir, I have some bad news. The chancellor escaped, hit me over the head with a sock, and vamoosed.”
“Vamoosed? How did zhe zock hit you? It would burn!”
“Er… I don’t know.”
“Vell, at least Apprentice locked zhe Torte Copteir door, right Apprentice?”
The apprentice giggled nervously before running out pronto. The sound of helicopter blades whirred into existence and then disappeared. “Whomp?”
“Whomp here, boss.”
“Just kill moi now.” Chef Torte threw up his hands as Whomp sailed through the air. “No, vait! I vas just kidding!”
BAM!
Chapter Three
Soshi Island
After the chancellor of the Mushroom Kingdom flew off with the coveted Torte Copter and Chef Torte gave his failure members a big face full of PAN OF PAIN, he organized a large search party, attempting to find parts for a transport.
“Zat’s it! Put your backz into it! I vant no slackerz.”
Genius Guy was doing a jungle dance, his face painted with vibrant tribal colors, secretly behind a large bush. Just as Chef Torte was passing by, he heard the strange sounds of a savage dance! Turning around the bush, he saw Genius Guy in his get-up. “You fool! Vhat are doing?”
Genius Guy squeeked, throwing his spear up in the air. As it came crashing back down, it took Torte’s chef hat off his head, pinning it to the ground. “Errgh… Genius Guy, you’d betteir be glad I haf back-up!” He duly placed a new one on, sparkling clean. “Ah, zat’s betteir. Now for you!”
Before Torte could put several bumps in his noggin’, Embert popped up behind them, creating a heated updraft of air. Torte whirled around. “Embeirt, you come, again, at zhe vorst possible time. Vhat do you vant?”
Embert’s mouthless eyes sat patiently. The mysterious, drafty voice of his started. “Remnants of metal parts have been discovered. Genius Guy may be able to convert them into something useful.”
Chef Torte nodded, rubbing his claws together evilly. “Yez, he could do zhat! Genius Guy, get up!” Genius Guy scrambled to his feet. “I haf job for you. Go fix us a new transport machine pronto. No slacking off!”
“Bu… but… but…. I LOVE LUCY!!!”
“She ist dead! Go vork! NOW!”
Yoster’s Island, Mushroom Kingdom
Ryan-oshi climbed out of the warp pipe on the northern end of Yoster’s Isle. The sweet sound of tropical drums and smell of delicious fruit smoothies filled the air. Two welcome Yoshis ran up, handing him a smoothie, which he eagerly drank. “Is Yoshi here? I have a matter of some importance to speak with him about.”
One of them nodded. “Of course. You’re his favorite author!”
In twenty more minutes, Ryan-oshi and Yoshi were sitting under a shaded area, watching the races. “Now for the matter at hand. Yoshi, you battled with Chef Torte around or at the exact same time Mario fought that Vuljiin guy, correct?”
Yoshi nodded, slurping on his smoothie. Usually, a Yoshi's speech is choppy and in third person, but since the two Yoshis were coversing, they were speaking in their native tongue. And since this is a direct translation, the speech comes out perfect. In reality, Ryan-oshi is one of the few who has adapted to Plit’s basic language perfectly. “Yeah, that battle was such a Banjo-Kazooie rip-off. I’m glad I beat him!”
“So, you did beat him. When he was defeated, did he actually fall into the lava?”
Yoshi thought for a moment, searching through the file archives in his brain. “You know, I’m not really sure. He was knocked into the volcano, but he could have very well survived. It’s not like it was erupting. No, I guess he might not have. Why do you ask?”
Ryan-oshi was silent for a time. “Oh, nothing. I’m trying to prove something. Time is of the essence, so I’ll have to take the displeasure of leaving this wonderful island for now. I will return soon, I hope.”
Koopa Castle, Mushroom Kingdom
Mario and Luigi remained in their shrunken forms, trapped in a magically-sealed bottle. They watched, tiredly, as Kammy and Kamek argued over who would have guard duty next. “Dear cousin, if you truly fear for yours, then you’ll understand my foolproof reasoning. I’ve been pushed around by the Koopa Kids, then Bowser, and then two smarty-pants do-gooders. My rump is sore and my head pains. Let me rest!”
Kammy snarled and snapped back. “You are younger than me-”
“By one month.”
“Anyway, you’re younger and more energetic. You can take my place for just this once! While you’ve been out, I’ve had to tend to Bowser’s savage troops… no easy task.”
Meanwhile, inside the glass bottle prison, Mario and Luigi sighed. “Say, Mario… er… Stario, how are we-a ever going to-a get-a out of here? There’s-a no-a way.”
Mario looked outside again. The top was invulnerable… unless. “Hey, our fireballs are magic, right?”
“I-a suppose so. They were given to us-a when we-a crossed over to this dimension.”
“Well, what better than to open a magic seal then with magic heat pressure? If we shoot fireballs, we’ll heat up the air in here, making the particles move faster.”
“Er…”
“Therefore, the air will become less dense and rise up into the air, pushing the top off like a rocket!”
Luigi stared blankly. “Since-a when did you-a become such a rocket scientist?”
“A divine transformation does wonders for your intelligence.”
So, they shot fireballs at the top and let science take over. The top shot off, and Mario grabbed ahold of his brother, flying out of there.
Outside of the bottle, the top belted Kamek on the head. He yelped and picked it up, eyeing the bottle. “Oh, no! Stario and Luigi escaped! Bowser will have our magic wands!”
Kammy dropped to her hands and knees, pulling Kamek down with her. “Shut up, you fool! They’re still small, so they couldn’t have gotten far. We can find them.”
Mushroom Kingdom (Toad Town)
The Mushroomer and Koopa citizens alike looked to the sky in fear as a dark cloud, billowing and thunderous, floated in. The ominous site overtook the town, blocking out the sun’s light completely. It was like the night. Gasps of awe were turned to whimpers of terror as Bowser and his copter appeared.
Under him, marching along the ground, were seven of his kids; Lemmy was still out in space. Each held a wand except for Junior, who held his brush. Lemmy’s wand was being held for his return.
Behind them was an army of at least fifty Terrapin elite, one-hundred Koopa Troopa regulars, and three-hundred Goombas. Three squardrons of ten Paratroopas flew above Bowser, forming three phalanxs. Bowser laughed, thunder harmoniously accompanying him. “Citizens of Toad Town, Mushroom Kingdom, tremble in fear. The Koopa Army is upon you!”
Peach was already out, eyeing him. She shouted up. “How did you form an army so quickly?!”
Bowser muttered, irritated, and pulled out the Yellow Pages. “1-800-GETABADDIE. They supply all your baddie needs. Luckily, my watermelon juggling act paid off big time. Now, we’ve come to conquer your capital.”
Peach laughed. “You’ve fought with us before. You’ve always lost.”
Bowser laughed back with a terrifying lightning bolt striking around him. “Yes, but I’ve got some good things going for me. One, Stario and Luigi have been captured. Two, your Yoshi friends are enjoying themselves on Yoster’s Isle. Three, my Koopalings have got super-powerful element wands. Fourth, I’m so daring and handsome, I can’t lose!”
The citizens cried out in fear, some sobbing, in light of these new advantages. Even Peach was considerably shaken, except maybe for the last one. “Even if it seems we will lose, we will fight you until the very end. Toad, call the army to arms!”
“No, it would be foolish to fight.”
“WHAT?!”
“Yes, we should surrender… for now. We will win later, not here.” Seeing their leader’s grief, the entire army nodded solemnly, throwing their weapons on the ground. Peach looked about her in horror as the entire town was shackled. Bowser’s troops ravaged through the buildings, feasting on food and wearing fine dresses. Bowser laughed maniacly, reaching his arms up to the sky.
“Yes, I win! I win! I… YIKES!” A lightning bolt struck his copter, sending him crashing to the ground. “Even when I win I lose!”
General Jagger laughed, but Peach wasn’t laughing, despite the slapstick hilarity designed to evoke a few cheap laughs from the Reader. Mario, where are you?
The Isle of Soshi
Five PAN OF PAIN rampages and twenty pixie sticks later, the brand new vehicle, the Torte Zeppelin, was completed. “A… a zeppelin!” Tears streamed from the evil chef’s face. “I’ve alvays vanted to haf a zeppelin, eveir since I vas but a little squirt. Oh, Genius Guy, all ist forgiven.”
Genius Guy smiled. Surprisingly, he ran up and gave Torte a SHY GUY SUPER DUPER HUG before getting a BIG face full of PAN OF PAIN. “Vell, maybe not ALL ist forgiven… hehehe.”
The zeppelin was quite prodigious, larger than any plane or ship ever assembled. The cabin was painted green and the balloon part was white, with a picture of Chef Torte painted on either side. It was a truly groovylicious sight. The apprentice walked up, washing paint off his hands. “Well, that does it. We’re ready to get phase four underway… whatever it was.”
After spending another few minutes in silent appreciation of the zeppelin’s beauty, Torte nodded, wiping his snoz. “Yes, ve vill continue on, gaining back zhe respect zhat ve lost!”
Changling put his wand to his chin thoughtfully. “What respect did we have?”
Chef Torte belted him a good one. “Oh, zat does not matteir. Ve vill soon be known as zhe most successful villains of all Plit history. Ve’re going to be in books.”
“Whomp hate books, make Whomp read. Whomp whomp books. WHOMP!”
“Calm down, Vhomp. Ve von’t haf to read zhem, but ve can look at our pretty pictures!”
“Whomp like pictures.”
Chef Torte jumped in, signaling his members to follow. “Excellent, everyone ist accounted for. It’s time to go back to zhe Mushroom Kingdom capital and reclaim our glory. Even zough zheir army ist, like, five-hundred times larger zhan ours, ve vill stomp zhem out of existence. Viz my new zeppelin, all ist possible!”
With his words of confidence, the zeppelin lifted into the air. “Ah, zhe feeling of zhe wind in my apron. It feelz like I vas born to fly.”
Whomp, wanting to please him, pushed him out. “Whomp let Torte fly! FLY!
“NO!!! I can’t fly! Help moi!!!”