Chapter 1: The Mysterious LVK Industries...
Lightning flashed and thunder roared through the night sky. The glare from the lightning bolt showed a gigantic building towering into the sky. At its top, a smokestack bellowed out hazardous black smog. There was a fence at a twenty-foot perimeter around the ominous structure. The building was surrounded by dark, thick fog for miles. It rested on top of a great hill and was really furtively hidden. The large sign on the side of the building read “LVK Industries”. Though nearly everyone on Plit most likely had a product from LVK Industries, no one knew where, who, or what LVK Industries was. It was one of those mystery companies such as Acme, Freddy Incorporated, or America Online. LVK Industries made a wide variety of items and goods: from refrigerators to refrigerator magnets and so on. Though few have seen the building, none have seen anyone enter or exit the creepy place. I’m not saying they have Oompa Loompas working there, but there have been some rumors...
The entrance to the building was a large silver door that opened vertically. Beyond the door was a huge room with many cobwebs all over. It looked as if the entire place was abandoned long ago, but strangely the company still shipped out unseen quantities of products that ended up at local retailers. One door adjacent to the entranceway was closed with a gate. Past the gate a long downspiraling staircase twisted and turned, keeping whoever walked down it on their feet. The staircase lead to another door, molded green and rusted shut. Through a tiny window the next room was barely visible. The next room was a messy laboratory-type setting out of a horror film. Beakers bubbled and vials sizzled with a mixture of liquids. Metal objects half completed lay scattered across the floor. Tools were dumped out all over the workstations. One small computer glowed dimly through the dust and mildew of the old lab. On the wall, a dartboard of Bowser Koopa was hung up with darts all through his face. Two doors stood at the end of the room. One slammed open and spewed out dense fog and smoke. A mean looking Mushroomer emerged from the darkness and waddled out into the lab. His fungus head was black, and the spots were grayish purple. He wore a long black robe that trailed a bit on the floor. He grasped a short scepter in one of his hands. He walked over to the computer and pushed a few buttons, grabbing the floppy disc that came out. Then he pocketed it, and returned to the darkness from whence he came. The darkness lead to a long, moist hallway that smelled of corndogs. The Mushroomer came to the end of the hallway and entered another room. He walked up to an old dusty stone chair. A deep, resonating breathing came from whoever sat in the chair.
“I’ve brought you the disc, my lord!” the Mushroomer grumbled.
“Excellent work, Ekin,” came a slow, soft voice sitting in the chair. “Now all I have to do is program my ingenious technology into my weapon so I can get what is rightfully mine!”
The chair turned to reveal its occupant, the evil sorcerer from the last game... er, story: Vuljiin. His demonic red eyes still brightly blasted through the darkness of his hood. Still, his entire body was covered in his shadowy robes. Vuljiin grabbed the disc, clutching it in his dark hand, and laughed.
“Stario... what an imbecilic creation. With my new invention, the Atomic Ionic Demonic Splitter or A.I.D.S., I will get that pathetic plumber to separate from my Crystal Star so I can summon up the might of the gods, and have all I desire!” Vuljiin cackled.
“Yes, with the two other Cosmos Crystals you salvaged from the battle with Stario,” Ekin muttered, staring forward at two glass tubes, where the magnificent Crystal Moon and Crystal Shine were being contained.
“Stario... what a pathetic abomination! Oh how I loathe that fool. He yet waits to see my true power... but he won’t live long enough to watch my global domination of this puny little planet! Ha!” Vuljiin chuckled.
“If I may ask, sir, what do the three crystals do when they are combined?” Ekin asked.
Vuljiin raised his arm and shot a large bolt of lightning out at his assistant. Ekin shot back in pain and slammed into a stone wall. He got up slowly.
“You will be informed of such matters on a need-to-know basis, imbecile!” Vuljiin scowled.
“Yes… Master. Forgive me, Lord Vuljiin.” Ekin groveled.
“Soon... very soon, the timing will be right. We will have Stario come to us, here. By then the A.I.D.S. will be completely finished!” Vuljiin said.
“A truly devilish plan, Lord Vuljiin!” Ekin agreed.
“Now before we can bring our plan to action, we need some sort of distraction, like some bumbling idiot getting in the way...”
Meanwhile...
“Mwah ha ha! Ze chef’s ALIVE! Eveiryone betteir run!!!”
Chapter 2: Torte’s New Recipe For Evil
Night had fallen around the Dinosaur Land region. And not too far west of the still damaged Donut Plains was the Tropacine Island Chain. The Tropacine Isles were enveloped in a raging storm. The heart of the storm circled around one island in the north. That island was Soshi. Inside the volcano, deep in the base, Chef Torte laughed his evil laugh. Before him were the remaining members of his Team of Terror: Changling, Genius Guy, Whomp, his Apprentice. and Embert T. Podoboo. Torte let Embert on the team as long as he stopped burning him and helped him out of the volcano, which he did. In the last story, the Grand Glum Reaper had perished at his own magical overkill spell, and Soshi was accidentally flattened by Whomp.
“All right eveiryone! Ve’re still an evil empire! Ve are NOT giving in because ve lost once. Ve vill now discuss vat ve’ve got for out next plan. First off, Genius Guy, how ist ze repairs on ze PAN OF PAIN coming?” Chef Torte asked.
Genius Guy stood up and cleared his throat. “Well, it was melted pretty badly, so it’ll take a whole lot of elbow grease to fix it. Luckily I have half of a gallon of elbow grease right here in my pocket.”
Genius Guy pulled out an awful smelling clear jug with brown liquid smoldering in it.
“Um... yes. Make sure it gets done soon,” Chef Torte said, too tired to argue.
“Master Torte! May I suggest we get started reviving our downed comrades?” the Apprentice asked.
“I suppose so. Embeirt! Bring in zee pot!” Chef Torte ordered.
The little ball of flame pushed a huge smoking cauldron towards the center of the room. On each side was a handle, and it was filled with a neon green acidic-looking liquid. Out of the liquid popped out the end of a wooden spoon.
“All right! Let’s get zis pot nice und hot. Embeirt, heat it up,” Chef Torte commanded.
The Podoboo squeezed under the massive cauldron, and a loud yelp was heard.
“HEY! That burns!” a voice said.
Chef Torte looked at the cauldron, stunned; it having a face and talking and all was unexpected. It had green eyes and a tooth sticking out of its mouth.
“Ze cauldron’s ALIVE!!! RUN!!!” Chef Torte shouted.
“Well I won’t bite. And now that I’m used to it, the fire’s nice and relaxing. By the way, I’m Dingpot!” Dingpot said.
“Dingpot…? Vait, aren’t you zat disgusting pot from Banjo-Kazooie?” Chef Torte asked.
“Um... maybe,” Dingpot muttered.
“Vell, vateveir. Genius Guy! Zhrow in ze special ingredients ve haf already picked out!” Chef Torte said.
The lab-coated Shy Guy took out a rainbow of vials and bottles, and tossed them into the foul-smelling Dingpot. The liquid inside bubbled and changed from color to color.
“Now Changling, peirform ze revive spell!” Chef Torte said.
Changling lifted his wand and sparks flew from it. He mumbled an incantation and shot out an electric bolt of energy from his wand into the cauldron. Black smoke rose from the bubbling pot and formed a thick sphere shape. Then with a black flash, the smog solidified and the Grand Glum Reaper was resurrected. The rest of the smoke formed into the Grand Glum Reaper, and Dingpot’s liquid reverted to the neon green.
“Velcome back, Reapeir! For your first duty, bring back Soshi!” Chef Torte said.
The Grand Glum Reaper took out his mighty scythe and sliced into the air, ripping a point in the universe. The rip was like a vacuum and began pulling everything in. Genius Guy’s glasses were nearly pulled from his face, and Torte grabbed his hat as it flew off of him. The poltergeist reached into the rip and pulled out a slightly transparent, light blue floating form of Soshi. Dots of the same color fell to the ground from the spirit. The Grand Glum Reaper closed the portal and used Soshi’s spirit like a golf ball and his scythe like a club. With a loud whack, Soshi’s spirit returned to his body. It floated in the air a bit, then returned to the ground on both of his feet. Soshi coughed and opened his eyes. The dragon was reborn.
“Soshi, good to see you not so flat,” Chef Torte said.
“Soshi sorry he did not beat Yoshi...” Soshi said.
“Zat’s okay; it’s not your fault,” Chef Torte said.
“You’re getting soft, Torte!” Soshi said.
“No, I just need to be nice because my PAN OF PAIN’s currently melted und I haf nozing to hit you viz,” Chef Torte replied.
“I see,” Soshi answered.
“Okay, now I’ll tell you our new plan! Ve are going to travel to Proarctica, ze polar icecaps at ze norzeirnmost point of Plit. Legend has it zat an ancient artifact ist buried deep in zhere somevhere. It gives great powveir. Und on our vay, ve’ll set sail und haf ze vateir as our kingdom!” Chef Torte announced.
“Whomp like swim.”
“Yes Vhomp... Don’t you see, ve’ll rule ze planet, as ze top pirates! Ve’ll terrorize ze seven... er, several seas! Ve’ll be rich, powveirful leadeirs, und most of all, PIRATES!!! ARRRRR!!!” Chef Torte yelled in excitement. “Ve leave in ze morning. At 0700s!”
“0700s? That’s SEVEN O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING!!!” Changling shouted.
“Yes. So don’t stay up playing your T und T game!” Chef Torte snapped.
“That’s D and D, dummy! It stands for DUNGEONS and DRAGONS! DUH!” Changling barked.
“Who cares, ist still.... neirdy!” Chef Torte snickered.
“HEY! I’ll have you know, I’m a LEVEL SEVENTEEN Wizard Warrior armed with the Mallet of Fury! Don’t make me get judo on your shell!” Changling spazzed.
Whomp placed some tiny specs on his eyes, pulled out a large red book marked “D & D” on the cover, and a helmet on his rectangle head that two horns sprouted from, like those crazy Minnesotans on Earth. Whomp cleared his throat.
“Ahem. Actually Changling, you only level fifteen! You armed with Mallet of Flatulence, ‘n you don’t know judo! Besides, Genius Guy is level twenty, and Embert is far past your level at twenty-six! ‘N I’m da DUNGEON MASTER! DO NOT SPEAK OUT OF THY LINE! I AM ALL-POWERFUL!!!” Whomp shouted.
“So what, it’s just a game!” Changling hissed.
Whomp placed his spectacles and the big book away. He raised his hands high and a giant yellow column shot down and fried Changling.
“.................................... My bad... Dungeon... Master... Ow...” Changling whimpered.
“I don’t care! Ist still neirdy!” Chef Torte laughed.
“Yeah! You tell ‘em Master Torte!” the Apprentice agreed.
“I vouldn’t be talkin’ Miseur Star Vars!” Chef Torte chuckled.
“THAT would be Star TREK! Star Wars is so lame! I mean, come on! Light Sabers? “The Force?” Psshaw! And the greatest warrior is a puppet?” The Apprentice laughed.
The Grand Glum Reaper’s grip around his scythe tightened greatly. Small cracks shot through it until it crumbled. A new one poofed from nowhere. His eyes got more evil.
“Really now! Star Wars, is the biggest load of garbage I’ve EVER seen!” The Apprentice laughed again.
The Grand Glum Reaper shot out his hand at this and released a deadly ray of pain and suffering. The Apprentice was hit in the stomach and flew through a wall or two. When the smoke cleared, he was badly injured, charred, and his apron and hat were a real mess.
“O...kay. Enough of zis nonsense! Get some sleep, und prepair for Proarctica tomarry! Any questions?” Chef Torte asked.
Genius Guy raised his hand.
“Mon dieu.. I knew I shouldn’t haf asked... vat Genius Guy?” Chef Torte asked.
“When we first salvaged your crispy near-corpse, I took a blood sample, remember?” Genius Guy asked.
“Yes...” Chef Torte snorted.
“Well I played God a bit, and made you an identical clone, only one eighth of your size,” Genius Guy said.
A tiny Torte walked out from the lab, and lightning flashed, thunder, etc.
“Mon dieu! He shall be known as, Mini-Moi!” Chef Torte said.