Do the Koopa

Submitted by Hip

(The curtain rises to reveal Dark Land and the title is shown.)

(The episode opens with Luigi and Princess at the Mushroom Land Central Library.)

Luigi: Hey, Princess, I think I found it!

(Luigi walks up to Princess with a map.)

Princess: Quick Luigi, let me see!

(Princess takes the map and looks at it.)

Princess: Luigi, you've done it! I've been searching for this map to the Doom Dancer Music Box for years! Come on, we gotta tell Mario! This could be the beginning of the end of King Koopa!

(They meet up with Mario and Toad at Toad's house and study the map.)

Princess: The Doom Dancer Music Box is said to possess great magical power!

(Princess imagines the Koopas dancing to the music box.)

Princess: Crank it fast, and it makes everybody dance faster and faster! Crank it slow, and it makes them slow down and stop!

Mario: Hey, we could use this Doom Dancer to keep King Koopa and his brat pack under control! Let's go get it!

Princess: It's hidden in Dark Land's Temple of Gloom!

Luigi: Dark Land? Dark Land is Koopa's home kingdom! Besides, I uh, I hate dancing!

Mario: Relax Luigi, we can do it! Just follow my lead!

(Cut to outside. Mario and Co. run up to a pipe with a skull on it.)

Luigi: *gulp* Why do I get the feeling this trip could be dangerous to my health?

(Mario jumps onto the pipe.)

Mario: When we get the Doom Dancer it'll be a lot more hazardous for Koopa! C'mon, let's boogie!

(Mario jumps into the pipe followed by Toad, Princess, and a nervous Luigi.)

(They come out of a pipe in a cave in Dark Land and land on each other in a pile.)

Luigi: Hey, who's standing on my foot?

Mario: Quiet! Ya wanna wake the dead? You don't want Koopa to find out we're in his kingdom, do ya?

(A Dry Bones who was behind some blocks hears them. Meanwhile at Castle Koopa, Bully, Big Mouth, and Cheatsy are playing darts on a Mario dartboard. Koopa is sitting on his throne, but he is sick, has a hot water bottle attached to his head, and is spraying steam into his mouth. The Dry Bones comes out of a warp pipe, walks up to Koopa, and whispers something to him.)

Koopa: Lowba! Lowba! You dummy mummy can't see I gob a cold?

(The Dry Bones whispers to Koopa again, causing him to jump out his throne.)

Koopa: What? Those besky blumbers are here in Dark Land?

Big Mouth: Besky blumbers? What are bbbbesky bbbblumbers?

Koopa: Not besky blumbers, Big Mouth! Pesky blumbers!

Cheatsy: Whew, that's a relief! If it was pesky plumbers, we'd really be in trouble!

Koopa: We are in trouble! It's the Mario Bros. and you three gotta stop 'em!

Bully: Right, King Dad! Anything you say! We'll stop those Mario Bros.!

Koopa: Then don't just stand there! *sniff* Bones here will show you their trail! Follow that mummy!

(The Koopalings follow Dry Bones through the pipe.)

(Elsewhere in Dark Land, Mario and Co. have reached a chasm with fire at the bottom.)

Luigi: Woah, stop the music!

(The background music stops.)

Luigi: We can't jump that far!

Mario: A Mario Brother never says can't, Luigi!

(Toad looks up and points to some blocks.)

Toad: Woah, try blasting those blocks, Mario!

Mario: Start the music!

(Mario jumps into the air and pulls out his plunger. He sticks it onto a wall and bounces off of it to jump even higher. He bashes a couple of blocks in midair and four Super Leaves come out of them. Mario grabs a leaf and gains Raccoon Power, as Luigi, Princess, and Toad cheer. Then the three of them each jump up, grab a leaf, and gain Raccoon power, and the group flies across the chasm.)

(They end up in a room with spike traps, ala the Chocolate Fortress in Super Mario World. They run through it and avoid getting hurt, but at the end of the room two Bowser statues shoot lasers at them and they all loose their Raccoon power.)

Mario: We're almost to the Temple of Gloom!

(They find the temple, which is shaped like one of Koopa's ancestors' heads, but several Dry Bones surround the grounds.)

Mario: Dry Bones troopas! Let's shake, rattle, and roll these boneheads!

(They start to jump on them. Mario jumps on one and it shatters.)

Mario: Gotcha!

(It reforms.)

Mario: *gulp* I don't gotcha!

Princess: Those turtles take a lickin' and come back kickin'! What now?

Mario: Sock a block!

(Mario and Co. all jump into the air and start bashing blocks. The debris from the blocks covers all of the Dry Bones.

Mario: Temple of Gloom, here we come!

(They run inside and dodge a room full of Bowser statues. The Koopa Kids have reached the temple and are outside near the entrance.)

Big Mouth: These Marios are tough! Whadda ya think they're up to? The nerve of these guys, sneaking into Dark Land, reminds me of-

(Bully covers his mouth.)

Cheatsy: I hate sneaky, unless I'm doing the sneaking! Whatever those Mario Bros. are up to, we've gotta stop!

(They run into the temple.)

(Mario and Co. are standing next to a door, with the Koopalings spying on them.)

Princess: According to our map, the Doom Dancer is in the inner temple, right through that door!

Big Mouth: They have a map, to the Doom Dancer Music Box!

Bully: King Dad always said the Doom Dancer was just a legend!

Big Mouth: No, it must be true! If Mario gets it, we'll be doomed to be good for good! He'll control everything! We'll be dancing to his doom-

(Bully picks up Big Mouth while he's still talking, and runs to the entrance with Cheatsy.)

Cheatsy: No way! We'll let Mario find it! Then we'll snatch it away from him!

Big Mouth: Yeah, let's do an ambush!

Bully: Good idea, give me your string!

Big Mouth: Ah, not my favorite string, it's invaluable! Oh, there's a story behind this string! Our great grand Koopa mama-

(Bully holds Big Mouth and Cheatsy takes a ball of string from him. Cheatsy ties the sting to two posts on opposite ends of the entrance.)

Cheatsy: Now we're sure the Mario Bros. will have a pleasant trip in Dark Land! *laugh*

(In the temple, Mario and Co. have found the Doom Dancer on a podium.)

Princess: It's really here!

(Mario runs up to the Doom Dancer and grabs it.)

(Mario is then attacked by Bob-ombs, fireballs, and wrenches on his way
back.)

Princess: Look out, Mario, a Thwomp!

(A Thwomp falls down towards Mario, but he runs away just in time. A Boom Boom starts to chase them, causing them to scream and run out of the temple. They trip on the string at the entrance and the Doom Dancer goes flying out of Mario's hands.)

Princess: Oh no!

Big Mouth: I got it, I got it! Big Mouth Koopa calls to the ball, the crowd roars!

(Cheatsy pushes him out of the way.)

Cheatsy: No, I got it!

(Bully picks up Cheatsy and throws him away.)

Bully: Oh yeah, well now I got it!

(Bully catches it and everyone stares at him.)

Big Mouth: Uh, Bully brother, old pal! That thing doesn't work on me and Cheatsy, does it? I mean, you wouldn't make your favorite brother dance, would ya?

(Bully starts to play a strange tune on the Doom Dancer and it forces everyone else to dance.)

Bully: *laugh* Now let's try it slow!

(Bully plays a slower tune and everyone slows down.)

Bully: *laugh* Now let's try a march!

(Bully plays a different tune and everyone starts to march in a line.)

Bully: *laugh* Meet King Bully Koopa, the new master of Dark Land!

(Bully continues to make everyone march all the way back to Koopa's throne room. He stops playing and runs up to Koopa.)

Koopa: The Doom Dancer Music Box! Good worb, Koopalings! Let me try it, Bully!

Bully: You've gotta be kidding us, King Dad! I'm gonna rule the entire world, starting with you!

(Bully plays the march tune but Koopa doesn't dance.)

Koopa: What's that? My ears are stuffed up; I can't hear you, speak up!

(Bully stops.)

Bully: *gulp* He can't hear me?

Cheatsy: Yeah, Bully! That means you can't control him!

Koopa: Give it to me!

(Bully hands over the Doom Dancer.)

Koopa: Do the Koopa! *laugh*

(Koopa plays it and everyone else starts to dance.)

Princess: Do you suppose he takes requests?

Luigi: I hate to dance!

Bully: King Dad is gonna pay for this!

Big Mouth: Yeah, dancing lessons are expensive!

Koopa: Oh how I love this song! *laugh* I can make the whole Mushroom Kingdom dance to their doom!

(Later, the doomship flies over the Mushroom Kingdom with Koopa, all seven Koopalings, and Mario and Co. onboard on the deck.)

Koopa: Do the Koopa!

(The song Do The Koopa starts.)

Do the Koopa
Rip the Koopa
Do a loop de loopa
Or you'll be a party pooper
Everybody do the Koopa
Everybody shout and pout
Everybody do the Koopa
Everybody shake your snouts
Everybody do the Koopa
Everybody shake your scales
Everybody do the Koopa
Everybody wag your tails
Do the Koopa
Rip the Koopa
Do a loop de loopa
Or you'll be a party pooper
Everybody do the Koopa
Once you start you can't stop
Everybody do the Koopa
Rock hop flop and drop
And rock hop flop until you drop drop drop
Do the Koopa
Rip the Koopa
Do the Koopa

(At first, everyone on the doomship starts to dance. Next some Mushroomers start to dance. Inside the doomship, some Paragoombas and Paratroopas are dancing too. The citizens in Giant Land start dancing too. Even in Desert Land, a sphinx, the trees, and the Angry Sun dance. And back in the Mushroom
Kingdom, some Paragoombas and some trees dance. The song ends, though Koopa is still playing the Doom Dancer.)

Koopa: This is hard worb! My arm is getting tired!

Mario: Hey, Luigi, ya got any plumber's putty on ya?

(Luigi pulls a tube of plumber's putty out of his pocket and hands it to Mario, who sticks some in his ears.)

Luigi: Hey Mario, good thinking!

Mario: What?

Luigi: Hey Mario!

(Mario covers Luigi's mouth and pretends to dance over to Koopa.)

Koopa: Hey, getting tired? Ready to bow down and kiss my feet?

(Mario goes right next to Koopa.)

Mario: Ha ha, no way Koopa!

(Mario jumps at Koopa and the Doom Dancer goes flying, but Mario catches it. Bully charges into Mario and it goes flying again.)

Koopa: I got it! I got it!

Luigi: Heads up, Toad!

(Luigi jumps onto Toad's head, leaps into the air, and grabs onto the Doom Dancer at the same time as Koopa. They land and Luigi and Toad fight over the Doom Dancer with Koopa in a tug 'o war. The crank breaks off and Koopa gets a hold of the Doom Dancer.

Koopa: I gob it, I really gob it! The Doom Dancer is mine!

Toad: Yeah, but we got the crank!

(Koopa sticks his claw into the hole where the crank's supposed to go and it gets stuck.)

Koopa: My claw's stuck!

Big Mouth: I'll help you, daddy dearest!

(Big Mouth pulls on the Doom Dancer with the help of Bully and Cheatsy. It comes off but goes flying over the edge of the doomship. It lands on top of a Goomba and breaks.)

Koopa: It all smashed! Hmm, I'm getting steamed!

(Smoke comes out of Koopa's nostrils and steam comes out of his hot water bottle.)

Mario: I think that's our cue to leave!

(Bully and Koopa start to yell at each other.)

Bully: No, it's your fault!

Koopa: Now look what you've done! Boy, am I getting angry! You ever seen me angry? Well, you're gonna see it, watch out!

Mario: Ah, sounds like the Koopas are back to playing their old kind of music!

(Mario and co. jump into a pipe and the curtain falls.)

The End

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