(The curtain rises on Grass Land and the title is shown.)
(Mario and Co. are walking on a bridge over a pond in the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario and Luigi are wearing Frog Suits while Princess and Toad are wearing bathing suits.
Princess: What a great day for a swim! There isn’t a cloud in the sky!
(A shadow covers them and Luigi looks up.)
Luigi: Hey, looks like you spoke too soon, Princess! That’s the darkest rain cloud I’ve ever seen!
(The rest of them look up at the cloud.)
Mario: Great flooded basements! That’s no rain cloud, look!
(The cloud turns out to be the doomship covered in steam.)
Princess: It’s Koopa’s doomship! Dive for cover!
(The four of them dive into the water. Cut to the doomship, where steam is coming out of the radiators in the engine room. Kooky, Cheatsy, and Kootie Pie run over to a monitor and turn it on to talk to Koopa.)
Kooky: Big problems, King Dad! Our radiators overheated!
Kootie Pie: We must be getting back, you know I get spacesick!
Koopa: And I just got this clunker back from the repair shop!
Cheatsy: We need some water fast! Before we’re all blown to Koopdom Come!
Koopa: Quick! Activate the Super Slurp Pipe! It’s our last chance!
(Kooky and Cheatsy pull some levers, causing a pipe to lower from the doomship and into the water, which it begins to suck up.)
(Mario and Co. fight the current and hold onto blocks and coral.)
Luigi: Those reptiles are slurping up our swimming hole!
Mario: Yeah, we’re gonna be slurped right along with it if we don’t hold on!
Princess: I can’t hold on, I lost my grip!
(Princess lets go.)
Princess: Oh no! I lost my grip!
(Princess gets sucked into the pipe and ends up inside the radiator as the steam dies down.)
Cheatsy: Whew, it worked! The water cooled things down just in time!
(Kootie Pie applies some mascara to herself.)
Kootie Pie: It was not just in time, Cheatsy! That rotten steam melted my mascara! *cries*
Koopa: There, there, Kootie Pie, it’ll be okay! I’ll make it up to you! I got a great idea for a Koopa caper!
Kootie Pie: Then what are we waiting for? Let’s hoist that hose and get going!
(Cheatsy hoists the hose back into the doomship and it flies off.)
(Mario, Luigi, and Toad surface.)
Toad: Trouble! Princess Toadstool’s been Koopnapped, by accident!
(They dash out of the water.)
Mario: Come on, we’ve gotta get out of these Frog Suits and find Raccoon power, so we can fly after the doomship!
(Back in the engine room, Princess opens a hatch on the radiator and climbs out. She then squeezes the water out of her crown.)
Princess: It’s a good thing my crown is wash-and-wear! Now, it’s time to find out just what those cruddy Koopas are up to!
(Princess runs off to the cockpit and peeks through the door.)
Koopa: Hang on, my corrupt kiddies! We’re boogie’n outta the Mushroom Kingdom...
(The doomship goes through a large pipe and comes out in the countryside somewhere in the Real World.)
Koopa: ...and barrelin’ into the Real World! And to make sure those meddling Mario Bros. don’t follow us, Kooky, activate the Koopa Klogger!
Kooky: With pleasure, Pop! My nifty new gizmo will clog every warp pipe in the Mushroom Kingdom!
(Kooky pulls a lever and a machine with satellites rises from the doomship, hovers overhead, and shoots beams in several directions. Back in the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario, Luigi, and Toad are back in their normal attire now with Raccoon power, and are flying towards the giant pipe.)
Mario: Come on, Raccoons, there’s the warp pipe those princess-nabbing Koopas went through!
(A giant ball appears inside the pipe right before they get inside. They bump into it, lose their Raccoon power, and fall to the ground.)
Toad: You see that? The warp pipe's blocked by some kind of force field!
Luigi: Yeah, there’s no way to follow Koopa and save the princess!
(Cut to the doomship.)
Kooky: I am a genius! My Koopa Klogger is sheer brilliant! Those pain-in-the-drain plumbers won’t spoil our evil fun this time!
(The Koopa Kids cheer.)
Koopa: Stop your yakkin’ and start your packin’! We got a world to Koopa conquer!
(Koopa shows the kids a map of Earth.)
Koopa: The Real World’s got seven continents, and I’m givin’ one to each of you to do with what you like!
(The Koopalings cheer.)
Koopa: Bully, you get to be, “The Beast of the East”, in Asia! *laugh*
(Bully jumps out of the doomship and opens his parachute.)
Koopa: Cheatsy, you show how low you can go, down under, in Australia!
(Cheatsy jumps out and opens his parachute.)
Koopa: Kootie Pie, show the Old World something new in nastiness! Go be a plague in Europe! *laugh*
(Kootie Pie leaves.)
Koopa: Kooky, go wild in Africa!
(Kooky parachutes.)
Koopa: Big Mouth, blow your hot air all over Antarctica!
(Big Mouth leaves.)
Koopa: Hip, rediscover North America! Be rotten from sea to shining sea!
(Hip leaves as Hop follows.)
Koopa: Hop, La Bamba South America!
(Hip and Hop parachute.)
Koopa: Give the Real World a Kooping it’ll never forget!
Princess: I’ve gotta do something fast, before those creepy Koopalings take over the entire Real World! Oh, if I can just switch off the Koopa Klogger!
(Princess tiptoes over to the lever as Koopa’s back is turned. When she touches the lever the alarm goes off. Koopa turns around as some Paragoombas, a Bob-omb, and a Chain Chomp surround her.)
Koopa: Surprise, surprise! A princess like you in a place like this? Good thing the Koopa Klogger has an echo goody-good warning device!
(The Chomp wraps itself around Princess.)
Koopa: Prisoner! *laugh*
(Back in the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario, Luigi, and Toad have got Raccoon power again, and are using a giant plunger to pull the ball out of the pipe.)
Toad: Keep pulling! Pull! Pull!
Mario: This time, I think we’ve got it!
(They pull as hard as they can but the plunger flies off, causing them to go flying down the ground and lose their Raccoon power.)
Luigi: Hey, it’s no good, Mario! We’ve tried everything! That warp pipe’s blocked for good!
Mario: You’re right! That’s the worst clog I’ve ever seen!
Toad: Don’t worry, Princess Toadstool can handle this out! I’ll bet she’s got ol’ Koopa Stoopa begging for mercy right now!
(Cut to the doomship.)
Princess: Nastier villains than you have failed to conquer the Real World. You’ll never get away with this!
Koopa: I already am getting away with this, Little Miss Princess! Look!
(A Paragoomba pulls down a screen with seven monitors on it.)
Koopa: See what kind of fiendish mischief my Koopalings are up to? What Koopa catastrophe are you causing in Asia, Bully Koopa?
(On one of the monitors, Bully is spraypainting a wall.)
Bully: I’m painting graffiti all over this wall, Green Daddy!
Koopa: Lousy lizards, Bully! Any stupid airhead can slop graffiti around!
Bully: But it’s not just any wall, Pop! It’s the Great Wall of China! *laugh*
Koopa: Great! Great! Really rotten! *laugh* Kooky, what’s Kooping in Africa?
(On another monitor, Kooky is standing atop of an inanimate elephant, along with some other animals.)
Kooky: I’ve used my magic wand to turn all the wild animals into stuffed animals! Woah woah woah!
Koopa: *laugh* Cheatsy, what’s going down, down under, in Australia?
(On Cheatsy’s monitor, Cheatsy is standing next to some kangaroos wearing human clothing.)
Cheatsy: I’ve turned every human being into a kangaroo! Except one! *snicker*
Koopa: And what’d you do with him?
(Cheatsy zaps a man who resembles Crocodile Dundee with his wand and he turns into a shrimp, which some crocodiles that are dressed as chefs chase after.)
Cheatsy: We’re throwing a shrimp on a barbie! *laugh*
Koopa: *laugh* And what about Antarctica, Big Mouth?
(On another monitor, Big Mouth is standing next to a giant snowkoopa.)
Big Mouth: I’ve made an abbbominable snowkoopa!
(Big Mouth zaps the giant snowkoopa with his wand, which brings it to life. It begins to chase some penguins.)
Koopa: That’s cold, Big Mouth! I love it! Kootie Pie, how are things goin’ on in Europe?
(Kootie Pie is at the Louvre on her monitor.)
Kootie Pie: I’ve used my magic wand to turn all these stupid, ugly, useless, old paintings and statues into something really beautiful! Pictures of me! There’s the Mona Kootie, the Birth of Kootie, and Kootie Descending a Staircase!
Koopa: And what’s happenin’ in North and South America?
(Hip is at a TV studio on his monitor.)
Hip: I’ve taken over all the TV stations! And I’m holding a Koopathon! I’m not goin’ off the air until everybody sends me all their money!
(A pile of coins and dollar bills rain down on Hip. On Hop’s monitor, Hop is standing in a parking lot surrounded by trees.)
Hop: And I’m turning the Amazon Forest into a parking lot! Now all I need is a zillion cars to fill it!
Kooa: Nice goin’, Koopa Kids! You’ve made your daddy so proud! That’s world-class mischief!
Princess: How am I gonna get out of here?
(Princess looks at the Bob-omb, who stomps his foot.)
Princess: Hmm, that Bob-omb looks like he has a short fuse!
(Princess sticks her tongue out at the Bob-omb but he just sticks his at her.)
Princess: I’ll bet you’re a dud! Betcha won’t even explode!
Bob-omb: Oh yeah? Watch!
(The Bob-omb sets off his fuse. The Chomp unravels Princess and runs off with the Paragoombas. Princess quickly picks up the Bob-omb, runs onto the deck, and throws it at the Koopa Klogger. The Bob-omb explodes and the Koopa Klogger blows up.)
Princess: It worked! With the Koopa Klogger kaput, Mario and Luigi can escape from the Mushroom Kingdom, and help me clobber these Koopas!
(Princess puts on a parachute and jumps off the doomship. Back in the Mushroom Kingdom, the ball in the pipe disappears. The song I'm a Hurricane begins.)
Fly out the door
Heading my way
Like it or not
I'm here to stay
Bugger it down
Like fire and ice
Watch were you walk
Cuz lightning strikes twice
I’m a hurricane
I’m a hurricane
Nothing can stop me
I conquer with force
Hitting my target
And staying on course
Coming on strong
Gathering speed
I do what I want
To get what I need
I’m a hurricane
I’m a hurricane
Nothing can stop me
I conquer with force
Hitting my target
And staying on course
Coming on strong
Gathering speed
I do what I want
To get what I need
I’m a hurricane
I’m a hurricane
(Mario, Luigi, and Toad get on Parabeetles and ride them through the pipe. They meet up with Princess and split up. Mario goes to Asia and takes Bully’s wand away. He uses it to turn the wall into a Chinese dragon that goes after Bully. Luigi goes to Africa and takes Kooky’s wand. He turns the animals back to normal and they chase after Kooky. Princess arrives in Australia and takes Cheatsy’s wand. She uses it to turn everyone back to normal. She then uses it to make the crocodiles' teeth disappear. The man that was turned into a shrimp picks up Cheatsy and almost throws him on the grill but Cheatsy runs off. In Antarctica, Luigi takes Big Mouth’s wand to destroy the snowkoopa. He then uses it to make the penguins grow big and they chase after Big Mouth. Mario meets up with Kootie Pie and takes her wand. He uses it on the Birth of Kootie painting and some water pours out and washes Kootie Pie away. At the TV studio, Luigi sneaks up on Hip and pulls him away with a cane. Mario goes to South America and takes Hop’s wand and uses it to restore the forest as the song ends.)
(The Koopa Kids have returned to the doomship. They all scream, crash into Koopa, and the monitor sheet falls on top of them. The doomship heads back into the pipe.)
Luigi: Oh boy, oh boy! The Koopas are hightailing it back to the Mushroom Kingdom!
(Mario and Co. are back together somewhere in the Real World.)
Mario: Thanks to you, Princess Toadstool, you’ve saved every continent of out Real World from Kooptastrophe!
Princess: After all the times you Super
Mario Bros. have saved the Mushroom
Kingdom, it was the least I could do!
(The curtain falls.)
The End
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