(The curtain rises to reveal Grass Land.)

(Toad is walking through the Mushroom Kingdom holding a big sack with $ signs on it. He stops and puts it down to catch his breath.)

Toad: *gasp* The next time the Princess needs someone to deliver a million gold coins to the Mushroom Orphanage, *gasp* I’m on vacation!

(Nearby, Koopa is holding a piece of paper and walking around with Cheatsy.)

Koopa: Just follow my plan, Cheatsy m’boy, and we’ll be rolling in easy money!

Toad: *gulp* Easy money? Not this money! It’s flying the Koopa!

(Toad picks up the sack and continues on his way. Cheatsy notices Toad.)

Cheatsy: Uh, King Dad, speaking of easy money-

(Koopa covers his mouth.)

Koopa: If ya ever wanna be as crummy and lowdown a villain as me, ya gotta shut up and pay attention!

(A Piranha Plant spits some fireballs at Toad but he dodges them.)

Toad: Uh oh!

Cheatsy: But King Dad, there’s some easy money right over-

(Koopa covers his mouth again.)

Koopa: Loudmouth! Flea-Brain! You couldn’t see a million gold coins right in front of your sniveling little snout!

(Koopa throws the paper on the ground and pulls Cheatsy away.)

Cheasy: Uh, sorry King Dad. But we can’t all be as smart as you are.

(They walk off.)

(Toad finally arrives at the orphanage. He puts the sack down and rings the bell.)

Toad: I’ll be glad to hand over this money! A million gold coins! Big responisbil- ity!

(Toad falls asleep.)

(A nanny and two kids open the door and the kids laugh at Toad.)

Nanny: You mustn’t laugh at Toad! Without this money we’d have to close the orphanage, and you wouldn’t have a home!

(They pull the bag inside and close the door.)

Nanny: Sweet dreams, Toad!

(Toad wakes up and looks around for the sack.)

Toad: Huh? Someone stole the coins right out from under me! Koopa! That creep! He’s the only one mean enough to swipe money meant for orphans! How can I face those poor kids? I’ll just have to make that money back someway! Hmm, but how?

(Toad is walking through the Mushroom Kingdom when he notices the paper Koopa dropped.)

Toad: Doesn’t that Koopa creep know about trash cans?

(Toad picks up the paper which is an ad for a wrestling match and reads it.)

Toad: Mushroom Wrestling Federation presents: Tag Team Wrestling Tournament. Oh, whoop-dee-doo.

(Toad throws it in the garbage can and quickly runs back to look at it again.)

Toad: First prize A MILLION GOLD COINS! WHOOP-DEE-DOO! Now, all I need is a wrestling team! Hmm, I got it!

(Toad shows the ad to two big, tough guys.)

Toad: I can’t tell the princess! I’m too ashamed! So I really need you guys to be in this tournament.!

Marauder: Sure, we’ll do it! Right Jake?

(Jake hands his barbell to Toad, who instantly falls down.)

Jake: Anything for a favorite half-pint cousin! Huh, where’d the little squirt go?

(Toad and his cousins arrive at the arena and go to the sign-up table.)

Toad: I’d like to enter my team, the Mushroom Marauder and Jake the Crusher Fungi!

(The ground shakes and they fall over. Two Sledge Brothers jump over to them.)

Sledge Brother: Soon to be the Marshmallow Marauder and Jake the Crushed Fungus!

(Koopa and Cheatsy walk up to the table.)

Koopa: Say it like I told you to say it, Cheatsy!

Cheatsy: I wanna register my team, the Sledge Bros.!

Toad: No fair, Cheatsy! You took our place in line!

Jake: We’ll show ‘em their place, cuz!

(Jake and Marauder roll into the Sledge Brothers. The Sledge Brothers go flying and land on top of Koopa and Cheatsy.)

Koopa: Oof! Get off, ya big oafs!

Toad: Hey, save it for the match! That’s when you need to beat these guys!

Marauder: Ya really wanna win this thing, don’tcha?

Toad: We gotta win it, we just gotta!

(Koopa gets up.)

Koopa: Whoa!

Cheatsy: Heh heh heh heh! Too bad, King Dad! Looks like your scheme to win the prize money won’t work as easy as you thought!

Koopa: Then you make it work!

(At Princess Toadstool’s castle, Jake and Marauder are sleeping in a bedroom. Cheatsy has managed to sneak into the castle and enter their bedroom. He holds their eyes open with tape and begins to swing a pocket watch in front of their faces. But the watch is facing the wrong way so they’re seeing the back while Cheatsy is seeing the front. He begins to recite from a book.)

Cheatsy: You are getting very sleepy! You are completely *yawn* under my power! You will do exactly what I say! You cannot wake up for two whole days! Understand?

Marauder and Jake: Yes!

(They go back to sleep. Cheatsy removes the tape and runs off.)

(Toad walks in through another entrance carrying a tray of food.)

Toad: Rise and shine! Today’s the big match!

(Toad nudges Marauder and offers him some food.)

Toad: Here, get a whiff of this! That’ll wake ya!

(They still don’t wake up. Toad puts a megaphone up to his mouth.)

Toad: JAKE, WAKE UP! YOU GUYS HAVE TO WIN THE MILLION GOLD COINS TODAY! HEY COUSIN!

(Toad nudges Jake, who still doesn’t wake up.)

Toad: Oh no, wake up guys! If we don’t win this match then all those poor orphans will be out on the street! WAKE UP!

(Toad nudges Jake again.)

Toad: Jake, rise and shine! Ya have to win this tournament!

(Mario, Luigi, and Princess walk in.)

Princess: Toad, lighten up! It’s just a silly old wrestling match! What’s that compared to the really important things like, like feeding those poor Mushroom orphans?

(Toad begins to cry.)

Princess: What’s that all about? I’ve never seen Toad so upset!

Mario: I dunno! I’ll talk to him!

(Princess walks off as Mario walks up to Toad.)

Mario: Toad, I know this means a lot to you, but why the waterworks?

(Toad takes off his cap and squeezes it.)

Toad: You know all that money I was supposed to deliver to the orphanage?

Mario: Yeah.

Toad: I fell asleep and Koopa stole it!

Mario: Oh no! I’d better tell the princess!

Toad: No, Mario! She trusted me and I let her down! I thought I could make it up to her if my cousins won the prize money! Now all those poor orphans will go hungry!

Mario: We can fix that! Right big little brother? We used to wrestle back in Brooklyn!

Luigi: Hey whoa I-I-I-I’m not volunteering to wrestle the Sledge Bros.!

Mario: Right! I’m volunteering for ya! Meet the Masked Mashers of Mayhem!

(The song Burn Baby Burn begins.)

Stop baby stop
Turn baby turn
Keep an open eye out
Burn baby burn
When there's no pain
You know there is no gain
So burn baby baby
Burn baby burn
Build it up oh yeah
Swing it down (down down)
Be the coolest dude around
Stop baby stop
Turn baby turn
Keep an open eye out
Burn baby burn
When there's no pain
You know there is no gain
So burn baby baby
Burn baby burn
Burn baby baby
Burn baby burn

(Mario and Luigi are in a gym doing stretches. Mario picks up a barbell with blocks as weights. Luigi is outside jump roping from Music Block to Music Block. Mario follows him and kicks every block in the process. They then run through an underground pipe and come out in Desert Land. They then hop up a pyramid. Mario runs down the pyramid but Luigi rides a rail lift down. Back in the gym, Mario breaks some blocks which fall all over the place. The song ends.)

Toad: I don’t know, guys! Maybe you overtrained just a little?

Mario: Don’t worry my Mushroom pal! We’re gonna win those orphans all the money they need!

Luigi: Hey, the problem is, do the Sledge Bros. know that?

(Back at the arena, the match is about to start. The music warning that time is nearly up plays.)

Announcer: And now for the main event! The Super Squad Sledge Brothers vs the Masked Mashers of Mayhem!

(The crowd cheers.)

(The Sledge Brothers jump into the ring.)

Koopa: The Masked Mashers of Mayhem? Never heard of ‘em!

(The Mario Brothers, dressed up in spandex and masks, jump into the ring and the crowd cheers.)

Cheatsy: Hey, aren’t those the Mario Bros.?

Koopa: This is perfect! The Sledge Bros. will make ‘em the Squashed Bros., and those million gold coins will be mine! Ha ha! Do some cheatin’, Cheatsy!

Cheatsy: But I’ve already got booby traps all over the ring!

Koopa: Well, cheat some more!

(Cheatsy walks over to the bell and rings it with a small hammer.)

Announcer: Hey, who did that?

(A Sledge Brother punches Mario, who goes flying into the rope but bounces back off and flies into the air and lands on the Sledge Brother. Mario jumps on the rope to dodge him, but Cheatsy twists the rope, causing Mario to fall off the side and land on Koopa.)

Mario: Whoa, nice catch, Koopa!

Koopa: Outta my lap, plumber, or I’ll charge ya rent!

(Mario runs back to the ring and tags Luigi. Luigi climbs over the rope but Cheatsy twists it again and Luigi gets tangled up in it. He lets go and Luigi unravels and falls onto the ring. The Sledge Brother charges at him but misses. He then taps his foot on the Mushroom logo in the center of the ring.)

Cheatsy: Watch, King Dad! Here comes booby trap number one!

(The Mushroom logo appears to be a trapdoor which opens up and Luigi falls into.)

Luigi: YEEEAAH!

Toad: This match is dirtier than Koopa Castle! We’re never gonna win!

Princess: Yes we will! We just need help! And I’m gonna get some!

(Princess leaves the arena.)

Cheatsy: Watch this booby trap, King Pop!

(Mario approaches the Sledge Brother in a corner of the ring. But the Sledge Brother presses down on a package of ketchup that’s attached to the post which gets all over Mario. Luigi climbs back up.)

Cheatsy: Quittin’ time?

Luigi: A long way from it!

(He squirts some ketchup at Luigi, who also falls over. The Sledge Brothers walk over to them and laugh.)

Toad: Get up guys, please! Think about those poor little orphans!

(The Sledge Brothers pick up Mario and Luigi and throw them out of the ring at a stack of blocks next to a wall and the blocks crumble. Princess runs in with two Starmen.)

Princess: Quick, grab one!

(They both grab a Starman and gain invincibility.)

Mario: Invincible Stars! Invincible timing, Princess!

(Unaware of what just happened, Koopa and Cheatsy giggle.)

Announcer: And the winners are-

(Mario and Luigi jump back in the ring and throw the Sledge Brothers at the ropes. They bounce around and crash into each other. Mario and Luigi chase after them. The Sledge Brothers jump out of the ring and tag Koopa and Cheatsy.)

Sledge Brothers: Tag, you’re it!

Koopa and Cheatsy: Me! Uh uh, no way!

(Mario and Luigi grab them and pull them into the ropes. They let go and Koopa and Cheatsy go flying all over the ring. Eventually they crash into each other. The invincibility wears off as the bell rings.)

Announcer: And the winners are the Masked Mashers of Mayhem! I am pleased to present-

(He picks up the sack of a million gold coins. But Toad runs up and grabs it.)

Announcer: Hey!

Toad: Mario thank you! Luigi thank you! And the orphans thank you!

(Toad runs off.)

(Toad brings the sack to the orphanage and rings the bell. The nanny opens the door and takes the sack.)

Nanny: Oh, another bag of gold? How wonderful! Please, give the Princess double thanks for her double generosity!

(She closes the door.)

Toad: Another bag? Wait a second. Then Koopa didn’t steal it! And the orphans had it all along! Then I didn’t need to, aaahhh!

(Toad faints. The curtain falls.)

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