(The curtain rises to reveal Grass Land.)

(Kootie Pie is in her messy bedroom applying lipstick in front of her mirror.)

Kootie Pie: I’m so gorgeous! I’m at least five times more beautiful than I was yesterday!

Koopa (off screen making stomping noises): KOOTIE PIE! If that pigsty you call a room isn’t clean yet, you’re grounded!

(Kootie Pie hurriedly picks up everything that’s lying around and stuffs it in her wardrobe as Koopa walks in.)

Kootie Pie: Hello, King Dad! I cleaned my room-

(Everything flies out of the wardrobe and lands all over the place.)

Kootie Pie: AAAHHH!

Koopa: No chocolate-covered cockroach snacks! No tripping old ladies! Ah, no fun of any sort for a whole month!

(Kootie Pie goes back to her mirror as Koopa leaves.)

Kootie Pie: How did I end up with such a mean old ugly bag of scales for a dad? (gasp) Of course! That’s it!

(Big Mouth walks in.)

Big Mouth: What’s it?

Kootie Pie: Dad’s not my real dad! Of course! I must be adopted! I am far too beautiful to be a Koopa!

(Kootie Pie shows Big Mouth a movie magazine.)

Kootie Pie: You know, Big Mouth, I bet our real dad is a movie star!

Big Mouth: Yeah! Someone magnificent, like we are! Let’s go find him!

(In the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario and Toad are taking a walk on a hill near Toad’s house.)

Toad: Give up, Mario! There aren’t any Fire Flowers up, here!

(The doomship approaches and almost hits them.)

Toad: Get down!

(They roll down the hill and end up next to a Fire Flower.)

Mario: A Fire Flower! Hey, thanks little buddy, this makes my day!

(Mario puts the Fire Flower in his pocket.)

Toad: Not for long, look! Koopa’s doomship!

(Inside the cockpit, Kootie Pie and Big Mouth are fighting over the steering wheel.)

Big Mouth: It’s this way to Hollywood!

Kootie Pie: No, it’s this way!

(The doomship hits Toad’s house and the roof falls off. It then flies into a large warp pipe. Princess and Luigi were inside and run out.)

Princess: What happened?

Toad: The doomship just warped into the Real World!

Princess: That’s real trouble! C’mon guys, we’d better follow them!

(Big Mouth and Kootie Pie have arrived in Hollywood and are admiring the Walk of Fame.)

Kootie Pie: I bet our movie star daddy’s got a star on the Walk of Fame just like this one!

(They hear a monster roar.)

Big Mouth: Yikes!

(A Godzilla-like creature turns the corner, heads towards them, and chases some people.)

Big Mouth: Wow! Look at that! He’s so strong!

Kootie Pie: He’s so handsome!

Big Mouth and Kootie Pie: (dancing) He’s our real dad!

Director: Cut, that’s a rap, including you, you big bag of bolts!

(The director uses a remote control to turn off the monster. The Koopa Kids run up to the monster and try to wake him up.)

Kootie Pie: Dad! Dad what’s wrong?

Big Mouth: Don’t worry, Dad! Our magic wands will make you well in no time!

(They pull out their wands and zap the monster with them.)

Director: Get those two kids in the funny looking costumes out of there!

(The monster comes to life and roars. The director tries to turn him off with the remote control but it won’t work.)

Director: Hey, turn him off!

(The monster roars and scares off the director as the Koopa Kids cheer. He then lowers his hand and the Koopas jump on.)

Monster: Hey, I don’t get it!

(He places them on top of a building.)

Big Mouth: It’s Big Mouth and Kootie Pie! Remember? You put us up for adoption!

Monster: Really? My own kids?

Kootie Pie: Right! And if you really want to be nice, you’ll make us movie stars, just like you!

Big Mouth: But first, we want a car! A big, bad, convertible!

(The monster picks up a car from the freeway and peels off the roof. The people inside jump out and he places it next to the Koopas. They jump inside.)

Kootie Pie: It’s not big enough!

Big Mouth: Yeah, we want a stretch limo!

Monster: Stretch limo?

(The monster stretches out the car.)

Monster: Like that?

Kootie Pie: Alright, Dad! Now it’s time to make us movie stars!

Big Mouth: Yeah, we want our clawprints in the Walk of Fame!

Kootie Pie: And it’s your responsibility as our parent to make it happen!

Monster: It is? Okay! I want my kids to be happy!

(Meanwhile, Mario and co. come out of a warp pipe in an aqueduct.)

Everyone: Whoa!

(Princess picks up a banana peel.)

Princess: So, this is your glamorous Hollywood kingdom?

Mario: No time to admire the scenery, Princess! We’ve got to find those Koopalings!

(The monster is pulling the car around down the street on a rope. Mario and co. are all watching.)

Mario: Whoa! Who’s that?

Luigi: Madzilla! You remember, Mario? We used to watch him on the midnight movie back in Brooklyn!

Mario: We’d better warn him he’s in dangerous company!

(They run up to Madzilla.)

Mario: Madzilla!

Big Mouth: The Mario Bros.!

Kootie Pie: Soon to be the Miserable Brothers!

(They giggle as Kootie Pie jumps out of the car.)

Kootie Pie: Oh, these terrible people did terrible things to us, Daddy!

(Madzilla roars and picks up Mario.)

Mario: Uh, I never did anything to them they didn’t deserve! Uh, cross my overalls and uh-

(Madzilla roars in Mario’s face, who reaches into his pocket and pulls out the Fire Flower as the monster picks him up.)

Mario: Lucky I kept this Fire Flower!

(Mario uses the Fire Flower to power up. He shoots a couple of fireballs at Madzilla, who drops him.)

Madzilla: Ow! That hurts!

Mario: Back off, Madzilla!

Kootie Pie: Big Mouth, we gotta help Daddy!

(They shoot Mario with their wands and he loses his fire power. He runs away.)

Mario: Uh oh! My fire powers are gone! Run for it!

(Luigi, Princess, and Toad join him.)

Luigi: Yikes!

(They run into a warehouse. Madzilla picks up a parking lot structure next to it and shakes it around.

Big Mouth: With those budinskis out of the way, we could take Hollywood by storm!

Kootie: Yes! People will do anything Dadzilla says! We can turn this town upside down!

(A little later, Madzilla and the Koopa Kids are standing next to the Walk of Fame, surrounded by a crowd of people. The Koopa Kids are now wearing sunglasses.)

Kootie Pie: Oh, our own stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!

(They both jump in the wet cement.)

Big Mouth: Okay, Dad! Now it’s your turn!

(Madzilla steps in the cement but he slips and falls on his stomach, creating a huge crack in the ground. Back at the warehouse though...)

Luigi: Madzilla and those Koopa creeps are out there trashing Hollywood! And we can’t do a thing to stop ‘em! The whole Real World is in danger!

Mario: Oh, sure we can! Look!

(Mario walks up to everyone wearing a giant monster head.)

Toad: Hey, Mario got a face lift!

Luigi: Hey, this is no time for jokes! Mario, we’re in big trouble!

Mario: This place is crammed with parts of old movie monsters! Not for long, big little brother! Look, we can build our own movie monster starting with her!

(Mario points to a monster head with make-up.)

Luigi: Hey, I remember her! Revenge of Madzilla’s mom! Right?

Toad: I just love family reunions!

(In the mean time, Madzilla is about to take a nap next to a building as he yawns.)

Big Mouth: Ya can’t sleep now, Dad!

Kootie Pie: We want to do a live concert in the Hollywood Bowl, RIGHT NOW!

Madzilla: Boy, having kids can be a real pain!

(Madzilla walks over to the Hollywood Bowl and interrupts a piano solo by picking up the whole structure and scaring everyone away. He places it next to the Koopalings.)

Madzilla: Okay kids! Uh, hit it! *yawn*

(Big Mouth and Kootie Pie start to sing Walk of Fame.)

I'm gonna stomp my name on the Walk of Fame
Wail on my guitar
I'm gonna stomp my name on the Walk of Fame
I'm gonna be a star
I've got what it takes (yeah)
With the right brakes
I'll stomp my name
On the Walk of Fame (yeah)
Rock and roll's famous teen
Covered on every magazine
I can see my name in lights
Hollywood's gonna treat me right
Wa wa Koopa koo

(All the citizens can’t stand their music and throw stuff at them including food, garbage, and even personal belongings like wallets and jewelry. The song ends with mustard shot at Kootie Pie’s face and garbage in Big Mouth’s face.)

(Back at the warehouse...)

Mario: Let her rip!

(A huge monster bursts out of the warehouse. The head is Madzilla’s mom, the body is a dragon’s, the arms are a gorilla’s and a lobster’s, and one foot is a human’s. Mario is inside the monster controlling it.)

Mario: Okay Mama Madzilla! Onto the main event!

(Mama Madzilla walks off.)

(Back at the Hollywood Bowl, the Koopa Kids dig their way out of the garbage.)

Wendy: DAAAD!

(He doesn’t reply as he’s asleep.)

Big Mouth: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!

Madzilla: Uh, great kids! Uh, really great! Encore!

(The citizens throw more stuff at Madzilla. He gets extremely mad.)

Big Mouth: Yeah, show ‘em who’s boss! Heh heh heh!

(Madzilla goes after a few people and picks them up.)

Madzilla: You don’t wanna cheer for my kids? Fine! Cheer for the shrimp at the bottom of the ocean!

(He is about to throw the people when Mama Madzilla’s voice startles him.)

Mama Madzilla: Junior! This is your mother! Stop that!

Dadzilla: You’re my mommy?

Mama Madzilla: Of course I’m your mommy, you naughty boy! Now put those people down!

Madzilla: Uh, yes Mommy! Right away, Mommy!

(He puts the people down and they run off.)

Kootie Pie: No way, Dad! You gotta do what we say!

Mama Madzilla: Junior! Are these your children? Alright grandchildren, it’s time for your nap!

Big Mouth and Kootie Pie: We hate naps!

Mama Madzilla: In our family, you must take naps every afternoon so you’ll be rested for your chores!

Big Mouth and Kootie Pie: We hate chores!

Mama Madzilla: And I hate ugly brats who talk back! Junior, if you don’t make your children behave, I WILL!

(She bends down and blows steam out of her nostrils at the Koopa Kids.)

Madzilla: Uh, c’mon kids! Do what your granny says!

Kootie Pie: Big Mouth! I’m beginning to think this isn’t our real family after all!

Big Mouth: Yeah! They’re even bbbbossier than good ol’ bad, King Dad!

(Mama Madzilla chases after the Koopa Kids.)

Kootie Pie: Quick, back to the doomship! We gotta get home!

Big Mouth: Yeah! Anything’s better than this!

(Madilla, Mario, Luigi, Princess, and Toad are back in the warehouse.)

Madzilla: You mean, I used to be a robot like this, and now I’m not?

(Mario jumps out of Mama Madzilla.)

Mario: Whoa! (lands) That’s right Madzilla!

Princess: And now, we’ll take you back to the Mushroom Kingdom, where you’ll have a wonderful new life!

Toad: You’re gonna love it in Giant Land!

Madzilla: Will I have to have any long-lost Koopa Kids?

Princess: Nope!

Madzilla: Oh, then I’ll like it very much!

(The curtain falls.)

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