By Hip
(The curtain rises and the title is shown.)
(In Castle Koopa, Hip and Hop are having an argument with Koopa.)
Hip: Aw c’mon, Pop! You call this-
Hop: Royalty?
Koopa: I’m sorry if being Koopa princes isn’t good enough for you!
Hip: Well we want to be princes-
Hop: That people will like!
Koopa: Well, wait a minute, let me think of something! Hmm, aha! You two wanna be princes that people will look up to? Come with me!
(Koopa, Hip, and Hop are now on the doomship flying over Dark Land.)
Hip: Where are we going-
Hop: King Dad?
Koopa: Well, you two can’t be princes in the Mushroom Kingdom as that goody-two-shoes Princess Toadstool won’t let you! So we’re gonna go where no one can tell you Koopalings what you can and can’t do!
(The doomship goes through a warp pipe and comes out in the sky over London.)
Koopa: You two can be the princes of England!
Hop: But England already has-
Hip: Two princes of our generation!
Koopa: So what? With my Kooparific idea no one will ever notice!
(The doomship flies over to Buckingham Palace and fires a beam through a window that hits Prince Harry. It beams him onto the ship in a device called the Koopaporter, similar to the teleporter on Star Trek.)
Harry: What happened? Where am I? Who are you?
Koopa: Shut up! Now we have to go find William at college!
(A little bit later, William gets boarded onto the ship as well. They are now tied up.)
Koopa: Kooky! Get in here! Bring that invention you were telling me about last night!
(Kooky runs in with two helmets that are connected by a wire.)
Kooky: It’s my newest gizmo, the Mind-Swapper! Watch!
(Kooky places one helmet on Hip’s head and the other on William’s. Kooky flicks a switch. He then places the helmets on Hop and Harry and flicks the switch.)
Kooky: You have switched minds with one another! Hip and Hop are now William and Harry and vice versa!
Hip: But I’m Prince William! You can’t do this!
Hop: Yeah, we’re Royal Princes! You’ll never get away with this!
Koopa: Wanna bet, Brit Brats?
William: We’re gonna be-
Harry: The princes of England-
William: For now on!
William and Harry: Ha ha ha ha!
(William and Harry each grab a wand and step onto the Koopaporter. Koopa presses a button and they get beamed back to their normal locations - normal for the real princes, that is.)
Koopa: Now it’s time to take you two back to my dungeon! Heh heh! Mario and Luigi will never find out until it’s too late! Ha ha ha!
(The doomship returns to castle Koopa and Hip and Hop get thrown in the dungeon.)
Koopa: Remember, they aren’t Hip and Hop! They’re Prince William and Prince Harry!
Sledge Brother: Okay, I guess.
(Meanwhile, back in the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario and co. are having a conversation at Toad’s house.)
Mario: This isn’t like Koopa at all! He hasn’t appeared for over a week!
Princess: Yeah, it’s not like they have anything special going on! Let’s go see what they’re up to!
Luigi: I don’t know, they could planning a huge attack on the Mushroom Kingdom or something!
Toad: Well waiting around won’t help! We gotta go check on them!
Princess: Toad’s right! Let’s go to Dark Land and see what they’re up to!
(The four of them come out of a warp pipe near Castle Koopa and run inside. They make it past all the guards and get to Koopa’s throne room.)
Koopa: What are you doing here? That’s it! I’m gonna throw you in the dungeon! NO! I mean, get out of my castle!
(Some Paratroopas come and throw the four of them outside next to the castle.)
Mario: Why didn’t Koopa throw us in the dungeon like he normally does?
Luigi: I dunno! He must be up to something that he doesn’t want us to find out about!
(Mario and co. re-enter the castle and head to the dungeon and see Hip and Hop caged up.)
Princess: It’s just Hip and Hop! They must have been punished or something!
Hip: No! We aren’t Hip and Hop!
Hop: Yeah! We’re really Prince William and Prince Harry!
Hip: You’ve gotta believe us! They kidnapped us and we changed bodies with these turtles that we are now!
Toad: How do we know you two aren’t Hip and Hop?
Princess: Well, they aren’t talking together.
Mario: Like-
Luigi: This!
Princess: Possibly their biggest habit ever!
Mario: Alright, how did they change your bodies?
Hop: This turtle named Kooky with crazy hair made us put on these helmets!
Mario: We’ll be right back!
(Mario and co. leave and return with the Mind-Swapper.)
Hip: That’s it!
Luigi: We found it in Kooky’s lab!
Mario: Now we just need to get this cage open!
(Mario jumps into the air and hits a block. A Super Leaf pops out. Mario uses it to gain Raccoon power.)
Hip: What happened?
Mario: It’s hard to explain!
(Mario hits the wall of the cage with his tail and it breaks open, causing the alarm to go off.)
Princess: Let’s get out of here!
Koopa: (sitting on his throne) Guards! See what happened in the dungeon! I’ve got stuff to take care of!
(Koopa uses his wand to contact Prince Harry.)
Koopa: So, Harry, or should I say, Hop! What have you done as prince?
Harry: I’ve turned all the water in England into Earl Grey tea! They keep drinking it so much, I decided to do them a favor so they never have to make tea again!
Koopa: HA HA HA HA! Excellent! William, or should I say, Hip! What have you done to Koopify England?
William: I talked to Hop! He told me about his tea idea! And everyone who has a problem with it, well, I turned them into a platter of fish ‘n chips! They seem to love it so much and everyone loves themselves, don’t they? It’s a win-win situation!
Koopa: I’m gonna go to London and take the Crown Jewels to cause more chaos in England! I think I’ll give them to Kootie Pie as an early birthday present!
(Koopa boards the doomship, unware that Mario and co., as well as Hip and Hop, are on board with the Mind-Swapper. He warps to England to pick up William. Then he drives back to Buckingham Palace.)
Koopa: Ready, Hip my boy?
(Koopa and William stand on the Koopaporter and a Hammer Brother presses a button. They get beamed into the palace. Mario runs in and beats up the Hammer Brother with his tail.)
Mario: The coast is clear!
(They all run up to the Koopaporter and try to figure out the controls.)
Princess: If we press these buttons, William and Harry should be beamed back up here!
(She presses a few buttons and William and Harry get beamed back onboard.)
William: Hey, it’s Princess, Toad, the Mario Bros.-
Harry: And the real princes!
Luigi: That’s right! And we’re here to set things straight!
(They force William and Harry into the helmets and use the Mind-Swapper with them and Hip and Hop so that everyone is back to normal. Then they tie up the real Hip and Hop.)
Hip: You can’t do this-
Hop: To us!
Princess: Now, we just need to use the Koopaporter on Koopa himself!
Toad: Yeah, but the Koopaporter’s out of energy! It needs to recharge!
Mario: Alright, I’ll be back! I think I can handle this! I’ll take those!
(Mario grabs the wands and uses them to turn all the tea back to water and all the fish ‘n chips back into people. He then flies out of the doomship and down inside of Buckingham Palace.)
Guard: Stop, you can’t come in here!
Koopa: Outta my way!
Mario: Let me go after him!
(Mario chases after Koopa.)
Koopa: Stop, plumber! These Crown Jewels are soon to be Koopa Property!
(They eventually reach the Tower of London where the jewels are held.)
Guard: Stop, this is off limits! Get out!
Koopa: And you’re OUT of luck!
(Koopa zaps the guards with his wand and they turn into mice.)
Koopa: Now, I’ll just help myself to these jewels!
(Mario runs up to Koopa and whips him with his tail. He goes flying out the window and lands in the river. Mario uses one of the wands to turn the guards back to normal.)
Mario: I think it wouldn’t hurt if I just were to-
(Mario uses the other wand to turn the water into tea.)
Koopa: YEOW! THAT’S HOT! I’m outta here!
(Koopa dives into a warp pipe at the bottom of the river. Mario then turns the water back to normal. Hip and Hop get thrown out of the doomship and land in the river.)
Luigi: And stay out!
Hip: Wait up-
Hop: King Dad!
Hip: We’re coming!
(They dive into the warp pipe too.)
Mario: Well, that takes care of that!
(Mario, Luigi, Princess, and Toad are sitting at the queen’s dinner table with a lot of important people.)
William: Thank you very much for saving us back there!
Harry: And to repay you, you can have whatever you want for dinner tonight!
Mario: Well, since we’re in England, could we have fish ‘n chips?
(Everyone but Mario and co. faints.)
Mario: Was it something I said?
(The curtain falls.)
The End
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