(The curtain rises on Grass Land and the title is shown.)

(Toad is standing outside of his house, looking at Mario holding a suitcase, Luigi, Princess without her crown, and a Mushroom doctor. He then runs back into his house as everyone else walks off.)

Princess: I really shouldn’t go to the Real World, Mario, I have a kingdom to run!

(Mario hands Princess the suitcase.)

Mario: Doctor’s orders, Princess! You’re overworked, overtired!

Luigi: Yeah, overdue for a vacation!

Mario: Right! Luigi and I can run the kingdom while you’re gone!

(The reach a warp pipe and stop.)

Princess: Well, oh, uh!

(Princess jumps on top of the pipe. Toad comes running up to everyone. He is wearing a bathing suit, sunglasses and scuba gear. He is also holding a tennis racket, a golf bag, and a surf board.)

Toad: Hey, let’s go to the islands! Hawaii, here we come! Let’s party!

Princess: Toad, we’re only going for a couple of days! Hmm, maybe we shouldn’t go at all!

(Mario tosses Toad onto the pipe.)

Mario: Oh Ptooies! You’re goin’ and that’s final!

Princess: Promise me you’ll call for me if you have any troubles-

(Toad pulls her down the pipe.)

Mario: Trouble? Not with us in charge! How hard can it be to run a kingdom anyway?

(Koopa and Kooky poke their heads up from behind a nearby block.)

Koopa: Very hard, you little pipesqueek! With the princess away, the Koopas will play, and destroy and ruin!

Kooky: Woah, hey bad King Dad! My twisted genius brain, just had an idea! Woah woah!

Koopa: I trust it’s disgusting and devious!

Kooky: Even worse! What if I build a robot Princess to take over the kingdom, while the real Princess is gone?

Koopa: A perfect idea, Kooky my boy! I’m so glad I thought of it!

(Princess and Toad are in swim suits on a beach, staring out into the ocean.)

Toad: Kick back, Princess! Catch some Zs and UVs! We’re in paradise!

Princess: I can’t stop worrying about my kingdom!

Toad: Mario and Luigi can handle it! Last one in is a rotten Koopa!

(Toad runs into the water and jumps on his surf board.)

Toad: Come on in, Princess! This is awesome!

Princess: The doctor did say I need to relax!

(Princess takes off her sunglasses and joins Toad.)

Toad: Check this out, Princess! Woah!

Both: Woah!

(They surf for a moment and get washed ashore. Princess ends up near a surfer dude while Toad gets stuck in some seaweed. The surfer helps Princess get up.)

Surfer: You okay? That was a gnarly spill!

Princess: I’m okay, thank you.

Surfer: My name’s Cutter! Looks like you could use some lessons, huh huh! Are you babysitting that weird little kid in the funny sunhat?

Princess: Not really.

Cutter: Then come on! Waves are a wastin’!

Toad: And he thinks I look weird? Well, maybe he’ll take her mind off her dumb worries that her kingdom will fall apart!

(Back in the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario and Luigi are standing on a dam with a crowd of Mushroomers.)

Mario: As your temporary rulers-

Luigi: We’re proud to dedicate this new dam!

Mario: Hey, Luigi! This is my speech!

Luigi: Well then, tell ‘em the village will never be flooded again!

(Koopa, in diving equipment, is swimming underwater towards the dam. He places a Bob-omb up against the dam wall.)

Koopa: This will make those plumbers really popular! Heh heh heh!

(Koopa swims off as the Bob-omb explodes.)

Mario: As I was about to say, your village will never-

(The dam starts to crack up.)

Mario: -be flooded again!

(The dam continues to crack and shake. Everyone runs off to the side as it breaks open. Back at Toad’s house, a Mushroomer dumps a wheelbarrow of letters at the door. Mario and Luigi are inside.)

Mario: Look at all these complaint letters!

(The Mushroomers outside are complaining.)

Mario: Stairway to Sky Land, keeps flying off and dropping people in the garbage dump!

Luigi: The new Mushroom shopping mall is haunted with Boo Diddlies! There’s more trouble in the Mushroom Kingdom than we can handle, Mario! We’ve gotta ask the princess to come home!

Mario: The princess needs her rest! You heard what the doctor said!

Luigi: Face it, we’re plumber heroes, not princes!

(The Mushroomers are banging on the door.)

Mushroomers: Bring back the princess! Bring back the princess!

Mario: I’ll send her a warp-a-gram message to get back here pronto!

(Mario starts to write.)

Luigi: Here, I already wrote it!

(Luigi hands the message to Mario. He runs outside and drops the message into a warp pipe. A Nipper Plant in the pipe eats the message.)

(The Nipper jumps out of the pipe and hops over to Koopa.)

Nipper: Warp-a-gram message to Princess Toadstool intercepted as ordered, your royal rottenness! *BURP*

(Koopa bonks the Nipper on his head. He then uses his wand to talk to Kooky.)

Koopa: My plan is working like a charm, when is the robot Princess gonna be ready?

(Kooky is working on the robot in his lab.)

Kooky: Hold your Goombas, bad King Dad! You can’t rush a genius!

Koopa: I need the robot Princess now, Kooky! Or I’m sending you to your dungeon and cutting your allowance!

Kooky: Robot’s ready for evil, King Dad! No one in the Mushroom Kingdom will even suspect the real Princess is still in the Real World! Woah woah woah!

(The song “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” begins. Back in Hawaii, Princess dives off a cliff into the water. She then goes wind boarding with Cutter. Then, she goes waterskiing with Cutter driving the boat. She and Cutter then go surfing, followed by hang gliding.)

Cutter: Great, huh? You can really get away from it all up here!

Princess: *gasp* I’m not sure I wanna ever go home!

(The song ends. Back in the Mushroom Kingdom, Koopa, Kooky and the robot are behind a bush near Toad’s house. Kooky activates the robot, who walks up to the house.)

Robot: Mario, Luigi, I’m back!

(The Bros. come running out of the house.)

Mario: And not a moment too soon, Princess!

Luigi: Where’s Toad?

Robot: He’s having such a great time, I let him stay another week!

Mario: Everybody in your kingdom can’t wait for you to rule ‘em again!

Robot: And I can’t wait to start ruling!

(They follow the robot into the house.)

Koopa: Those dumb plumbers fell for our phony robot! Heh heh heh heh! It won’t be long, and the Mushroom Kingdom will be mine! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

(Later, Koopa and Kooky are walking to the pipe.)

Koopa: While our robot Princess lets me take over the Mushroom Kingdom-

Kooky: My job is to keep the real Princess Toadstool in real Hawaii! You’ve told me six times, bossy dad!

(Koopa puts a lei on Kooky.)

Koopa: Here, I’ll put on your Hawaiian disguise! Now you can blend in with all the other tourists! Aloha Kooky!

Kooky: Aloha, Pop!

(Kooky jumps into the pipe.)

(Mario and Luigi walk up a hill, look around, and are shocked.)

Luigi: It’s terrible Mario! Aye aye aye! I don’t think I can look at it again! Gee, the princess ordered the new highway to be built out of quicksand! And every Fire Flower in the kingdom, extinguished!

Mario: I’ve never seen her act so strange!

Luigi: Maybe she needed a longer vacation!

Mario: Maybe it’s time we had an old fashioned plumber to princess talk!

(The Bros. walk up to Toad’s house, but they see the robot talking to Koopa.)

Robot: Welcome, King Koopa! I’m so glad you could come!

Koopa: Good afternoon, Princess! So nice of you to invite me for tea!

Mario: Tea?! With Koopa?! Princess, how can you be so nice to Bowser Koopa?

Robot: Why shouldn’t I be nice? After all, I’m turning my kingdom over to him!

Luigi: You're what?!

Robot: And you two are fired! You have exactly, one hour to get out of King Koopa’s Mushroom Kingdom!

Koopa: Make it 15 minutes, plumb scum!

(Koopa picks up the Bros. and tosses them aside.)

Mario: Luigi, you get the feeling Princess Toadstool isn’t exactly herself lately?

Luigi: Yeah, I wonder what happened to the princess that we know and love.

(Back in Hawaii, Princess, who now has a tan, is surfing some more. She then pulls over to the shore.)

Cutter: You’re gettin’ so good you could enter next week’s surfing contest!

Princess: Well, why not? Come on, I’m gonna tell Toad we’re gonna stay a couple more weeks!

(A girl and her dad walk up to Toad.)

Girl: Daddy, why does that little boy have an umbrella on his head?

Toad: Eat pineapple, kid!

Girl: And why is that other guy sneaking through those bushes?

(She points to Kooky.)

Dad: He’s probably a rock star hiding from his fans!

Toad: Rock star? Where?

Princess: Great news, Toad! I’ve decided to spend another week here in Hawaii!

Toad: That’s no rock star! That’s Kooky von Koopa!

Princess: What? Kooky?

Toad: If Kooky’s here by himself, the rest of the Koopas must be up to something! Why didn’t Mario and Luigi let us know?

Princess: Oh, I’ve gotta get home! My subjects may need me!

Cutter: Your subjects?

Princess: Heh, I’m a princess!

Cutter: Oh, sure you are!

Toad: She’s not kidding, Cutter! She really is a princess! Of the Mushroom Kingdom!

Princess: And it’s time I started acting like it! Where’s the nearest drainpipe?

Toad: Over there!

Cutter: Princess? Drainpipe? Mushroom Kingdom? Would someone like please tell me what’s goin’ on here?

Princess: Oh, Cutter! Thanks for the most fun I’ve ever had in my life! Someday, I hope I can make you feel as welcome in my world, as you made me feel in yours!

Toad: In the meantime, kiddo, we’d appreciate it if you kept all this secret!

Cutter: No problem! Like no way I’m gonna risk mentioning this to anyone!

(Princess and Toad run off.)

(Back at Princess’ castle, Koopa, the robot, the Koopa Kids, and the Mushroomers are in the throne room.)

Robot: The Mushroom Kingdom is about to crown a new ruler! It is with great pleasure, that I turn the crown of Mushroom Kingdom over to the great-

Koopa: Make that magnificent!

Robot: Over to the magnificent King Koopa!

(The Koopa Kids cheer.)

Bully: Yay! Yay! Yay!

Cheatsy: Bad King Dad!

(Mario and Luigi are spying from behind a column.)

Mario: Tell me Luigi, if the princess had a vacation in Hawaii, why doesn’t she have a sun tan?

Robot: By the power vested in me as princess of the Mushroom Kingdom-

(Outside the castle, Princess and Toad come out of a warp pipe. They run over to another pipe.)

Princess: Hurry, Toad!

(Toad turns the valve and water comes out of the pipe at a high pressure towards the castle.)

Robot: I hearby name you, ruler of all the Mushroom Kingdom!

(The song “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” starts up again. The water breaks through the wall and princess and Toad surf in. Princess uses a harpoon to snatch the crown from Koopa’s head. She then puts it on. The water knocks over the Koopa Kids and Koopa hides behind the throne. Kooky comes out of the warp pipe and flies in through the window. He crashes into the robot. The song ends.)

Kooky: Dad! I came to warn you! The real princess is coming back!

Koopa: You’re a little late, Kooky!

(He picks up Kooky and runs off.)

Koopa: Robot Princess, it was all your dumb idea! And if I weren’t such a nice father, I would never let you try it!

(He jumps out of a window, followed by the Koopa Kids.)

Toad: Rad surfin’, Princess!

Mario: Ha ha, Toad’s right! Looks like your Hawaiian vacation really came in handy!

Luigi: Yeah! Now bad ol’ Koopa’s the one who’s gonna need a rest! Welcome home princess! Welcome home!

(Princess smiles. The curtain falls.)

Go back to the list of episodes.
Go back to Lemmy’s Mario Cartoons.
Go back to my main page.