(The curtain rises on Dark Land and the title is shown.)

(The doomship is flying over a town in the Real World. Koopa and all the Koopa Kids are onboard.)

Bully: Real World prison, straight ahead, King Dad!

Koopa: Prison, the only place in the Real World with our kind of people!

(The doomship is approaching the prison. In the prison compound, some of the prisoners are playing basketball. A prisoner grabs a ball and giggles, while a big, tough looking prisoner grumbles. He picks up the smaller prisoner, rolls him into a ball, dribbles him to the net, and tosses him in.)

Tough Guy: Okay! Who else thinks they can beat me at basketball?

(The other prisoners run off.)

(The prison begins to rumble, the tough guy looks up and sees the doomship shooting a watchtower, which burns up and fall over. A rope ladder drops down from the doomship and lands next to the tough guy. Bully climbs down.)

Bully: Crime Wave Clyde? Real World public enemy number 1?

Clyde: If I wasn’t, they wouldn’t have put me in this here jail for 12,423 years with no parole!

Bully: This is your lucky day! King Dad just gave you a pardon!

(Bully grabs Clyde.)

Clyde: Huh?

Bully: Got him, King Dad!

(Later, the doomship flies off and Clyde is onboard.)

Clyde: I want some answers! Who are you? Why’d you bust me out? What kind of vehicle is this? And why are you still wearing those stupid reptile disguises?

(Clyde grabs Koopa’s snout and tries to pull it off.)

Koopa: (muffled) Ow! Let go of my nose!

Clyde: No problem!

(Clyde lets go and Koopa flies back a bit.)

Koopa: Whoa!

(The Koopa Kids giggle.)

Koopa: Ow!

(They giggle some more, then look at Koopa and stop.)

Koopa: These are not disguises! I am Bowser Koopa! King Koopa to you! And these little darlings are my Koopa Kids!

Clyde: So what do you want from me? I’m a super criminal, not an animal trainer!

(The Koopa and Clyde are now in Koopa’s throne room.)

Clyde: This is like some freaky dream! You’re King Koopa, the evil nasty super badguy in this wacky Mushroom Kingdom, and these really are your kids, no costumes?

(The Koopas nod.)

Koopa: And you’re the kind of villainous culprit, who can help me give my precious kids all the advantages I never had!

Clyde: Forget it, scaleface! I’m no nanny!

Koopa: Hang on! I’m not looking for a babysitter! I want you to teach these tots every illegal, underhanded, treacherous trick you know!

Clyde: What’s in it for me?

Koopa: You keep half of what you steal!

(Koopa crosses his fingers.)

Clyde: Mr. Reptile, you got a deal!

(In the Mushroom Kingdom, the doomship flies over the First Mushroom Bank and stops. Clyde and the Koopa Kids are in the cockpit.)

Clyde: Okay Koopa class, today we’re gonna start with the basics. Lesson one, bank robbery!

(Clyde flips over a page on an easel.)

(Meanwhile Mario and Luigi are taking a walk.)

Mario: Hey Luigi, you ever notice how clouds can look like other things? Like that one over there, it looks sorta like the princess!

(Mario points to a cloud that kinda resembles Princess.)

Luigi: Yeah, it sure does Mario! And that one looks like Aunt Maria!

(Luigi points to another cloud.)

Luigi: Hey, but for realism, how about that one over there? It looks just like the doomship!

Mario and Luigi: THE DOOMSHIP?!

(People run out of the bank screaming.)

Mario: We gotta stop those lunkhead Koopas from robbing the bank!

(Mario jumps up at a Note Block. A Super Leaf pops out and Mario touches it to gain Raccoon Power. Luigi jumps onto a platform and from there to a different Note Block which contains a Fire Flower, which Luigi uses to gain fire power. (Note: He doesn’t change to orange like he normally would.) They run off to the bank. In the bank, Hip and Hop pickpocket a man and run off. Kootie Pie grabs onto a woman’s scarf.)

Kootie Pie: What a lovely fur! GIVE IT TO ME!

(Kootie Pie pulls off  the scarf as the Mario Bros. arrive. Bully is at the teller desk.)

Bully: Do what I tell you! Toss it in the sack! All of it!

(The teller tosses all of the coins in a safe into Bully’s sack.)

Mario: Hey, Bully! Catch this!

(Mario flies over to Bully and knocks the sack into the air with his tail. It lands on Hip and Hop.)

Hip and Hop: Ouch!

(Luigi shoots fireballs at Kooky, Big Mouth, and Cheatsy who run off.)

Kootie Pie: Stupid Mario Bros.! Ruin all my fun! Come on gang! I know when we’re not wanted!

(Kootie Pie throws the scarf into the air and it wraps its way around Mario. He gets tangled and falls into the sack of coins. Bully sprays Luigi with a fire extinguisher. All the Koopa Kids retreat back onto the doomship, which flies off.)

(Clyde and the Koopas are back in the throne room. All the Koopa Kids are beating each other up.)

Clyde: Alright, Koopa Class! You failed lesson one! It’s time for lesson two! How to get the good guys out of your hair! Ha ha ha!

(Clyde shows them pictures of the Mario Bros. on the easel and rips the Luigi picture with a pointer.)

(In Desert Land, a voice can be heard in the distance.)

Boy: Help! Someone help!

(The Mario Bros. come out of a warp pipe.)

Mario: It’s coming from over there!

(They jump down from the pipe and meet up with a little Mushroom boy.)

Luigi: Hey, what’s wrong little boy?

Boy: Ugly green monsters, they stole my lunch money!

Mario: Those lousy Koopas! Which way did they go?

Boy: Down that big pipe!

(The Bros. run over to the pipe and jump in. Cheatsy walks out from behind a pyramid.)

Cheatsy: Heh heh heh heh! You did great, kid! The Mario Bros. fell for it big! Here’s your lunch money back!

(Cheatsy hands the kid a coin.)

(The Mario Bros. fall out of a pipe in a cavern which seals up. Clyde can be heard laughing nearby.)

Luigi: We’ve been snookered!

(They look over to the door where Clyde and Big Mouth are waiting.)

Clyde: Right you are, super suckers!

Big Mouth: It’s curtains for you creeps! You’re history! You’ve had it! You’re done for! It’s all over! We win! Time’s up! Your luck is cleaned! The sun has set! The fat lady has sung! The cheese has molded! The Super Mario Bbbbros. are no more!

Clyde: Enough already!

(Clyde covers Big Mouth’s mouth, preventing him from saying anymore. The Brothers dash at them but they slam the door in front of them and they fall down. The door is opened up by Big Mouth.)

Big Mouth: So you won’t be lonely, here’s a little something to keep you company!

(A Boom Boom runs into the room. He chases the Marios over to some quicksand. Mario bumps into Luigi, who goes flying in.)

Luigi: Mario!

(Boom Boom scares Mario into falling in too.)

Mario: Luigi!

(Mario begins to flap his arms and cluck like a chicken.)

Luigi: Mario, he’s getting angry!

(Boom Boom dives in at Mario. His collision causes Mario to fly out of the quicksand and hit a Note Block containing a Super Leaf that he uses to gain raccoon power. He pulls Luigi out of the sand and flies off.)

(Back in the Mushroom Kingdom, Clyde and the Koopa Kids are standing on a hill.)

Clyde: You kids are ready! I taught you everything I know about crime! Now, just do it!

(The Koopa Kids run down the hill.)

Clyde: Ah, I love the sound of children playin’!

(Big Mouth is standing next to a Mushroom woman using a Ptooie as a gun.)

Big Mouth: Stick ‘em up! Give me your purse! I’m a real bad robber Koopa! I’m also a bad dancer!

(Kooky rips the purse off of its strap and pours the coins inside into sack. Kootie Pie, who’s carrying a sack of coins, runs up to Big Mouth.)

Big Mouth: Hey, Kootie Pie, stick ‘em up! Put your hands in the air! I’m a thief and a crook!

(Big Mouth grabs the sack.)

Kootie Pie: Big Mouth, that’s mine! I stole it all personally!

(They fight over the sack. Clyde slaps his head in disgust.)

(Back in Koopa’s throneroom, Clyde and the Koopas are standing around with all their loot.)

Bully: (reading a list) That’s 522 wallets, 391 purses, 912 gold coins, and a yo-yo!

(Bully pulls out the yo-yo.)

Big Mouth: Stick ‘em up! This Ptooie plant is loaded!

(Bully hands Big Mouth the yo-yo and he plays with it.)

Clyde: No! No! No! You’re not supposed to rob each other! Do I have to go over this again?

(Hip and Hop each take a wallet from Clyde’s pockets and run off.)

Clyde: Hey! Cut it out! Give that back! Right now! You guys are driving me crazy!

(While speaking, Clyde starts to chase after Hip and Hop, but Bully sticks out his foot and Clyde trips over it.)

Koopa: Wonderful! Wonderful! Quick little learners, aren’t they? Makes their dad proud!

Clyde: These brats are givin’ me a headache!

Koopa: I think it’s time for the grand finale! The big finish! The crime of the Mushroom Century!

Bully: Are we gonna rob the ruins of the Mushroom pharaohs?

Cheatsy: Loot through the pyramids of the Koopahari Desert?

(Koopa shakes his head.)

Kootie Pie: I know, make that yucky Princess Toadstool disappear!

(Koopa shakes his head again and walks over to the easel.)

Koopa: No my little thievelings! You’re gonna steal a billion gold coins from the Mushroom Kingdom Treasury!

(Koopa flips over a page to reveal a picture of the treasury. The Koopa Kids cheer.)

Clyde: Well I guess a billion gold coins might make my headache go away!

(Back in the cavern, the Mario Bros. are running away from a pair of Sledge Bros. and a pair of Ptooies who are trying to attack them. They run into the next room and close the door.)

Mario and Luigi: Phew!

(They look up and see two Thwomps.)

Luigi: We’ve searched everywhere, Mario! There’s no way out!

(Clyde and the Koopa Kids are standing on the porch of the treasury. Clyde gives a Bob-omb to Kooky.)

Clyde: Don’t light this ‘til I say go!

Kooky: Got it, Crime Wave Clyde!

(Kooky lights the fuse and handcuffs the Bob-omb to Clyde’s leg.)

Clyde: What’s goin’ on here? What are you doin’?

Cheatsy: Just following orders!

Clyde: I didn’t tell you to do that!

Kootie Pie: No, but King Daddy did!

Cheatsy: Dad never planned on giving you half of anything! We’re double crossing you!

Clyde: I can’t take this anymore! I can’t!

(The Koopa Kids laugh as Clyde jumps into a pond.)

(Back in the cavern, one of the Thwomps tries to crush the Marios but misses.)

Luigi: I think this is the end, Mario!

(Clyde breaks down the door, which falls on top of the Thwomp, and runs in.)

Clyde: Hey, good guys! You gotta get me back to the Real World, please! Please! I’ll do anything! I’ll even help you stop the Koopalings from robbing the Mushroom Treasury!

(The Brothers frown. Back at the treasury, the song Double Crossing begins.)

Double crossing
Double trouble
Down and dirty
On the double
Twice as crooked
Twice as shifty
Two-time swindling
Twice as nifty
Lie, cheat and steal
It's an underhanded trait
But once you get the upper hand
Dude you it made
Double crossing
Double trouble
Down and dirty
On the double
Twice as crooked
Twice as shifty
Two-time swindling
Twice as nifty
Double crossing

(Bully throws a Bob-omb at the front door and it breaks open. Hip stands on Hop’s head and has a Chain Chomp chew open the grating of the ventilation system. Kooky and Cheatsy are on the roof and use a Fire Snake to break a hole through it. Big Mouth uses his Ptooie to blow a hole in the wall. They all get inside at the same time. The doomship parks itself above the treasury and lowers a rope ladder. The Koopa Kids pour all the money from the drawers into sacks. Bully opens a the door to the vault. He and Kootie Pie look inside to see the Mario Bros. and Clyde standing there. After that, Koopa then pulls two bags up to the doomship. One has all the Koopa Kids tied up. The other has a large Bob-omb that explodes. The doomship flies off and the song ends.)

(The Brothers and Clyde are back at the prison. Clyde is in his cell, while the brothers are in the hallway.)

Luigi: Hey, well thanks for the help, Clyde! But I’ve never seen anyone so happy to be back behind bars!

Clyde: 12,423 years and no parole is a lot better than one more day with those Koopas!

Mario: Heh, he’s just lucky he didn’t have to face the Koopa Kids on a bad day, huh Luigi? Ha ha ha ha!

(The curtain falls.)

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