Submitted by Hip
(The curtain rises on Grass Land and the title is shown.)
(The doomship is flying over the Mushroom Kingdom.)
Cheatsy: Wake up, King Dad! Time for your midnight sneak attack on the Mushroom Kingdom!
(Cheatsy and Kooky are trying to wake up Koopa who is snoring away.)
Cheatsy: We gotta wake him, Kooky! This was his sinister scheme!
(Cheatsy pulls a lever and a hand holding a bucket of water comes out of a hatch in the wall. A second hand comes out and it pours the water on Koopa’s head.)
Koopa: I-I-I-I’m awake! I’m ready! Let’s get ‘em!
(Koopa goes back to sleep.)
Kooky: Woah! Well, Cheatsy! While Dad takes his beauty sleep, looks like we’ll have to order this attack!
(Kooky oicks up a microphone.)
Kooky: PARA-GOOMBAS AWAY!
(A lot of Para-Goombas fly out of the Koopa figurehead at the bow of the doomship. They fly all over the place, annoying the Mushroom people, and are joined by Para-Beetles. The Mario Bros., both with Raccoon power, fly out of a warp pipe. They fly up to the enemies, who get scared and retreat back to the doomship.)
(Everyone cheers as the Mario Bros. shake hands.)
(Koopa, Kooky, and Cheatsy are now in Koopa’s throne room.)
Koopa: We never would have lost if you Koopaling clowns had just tried to wake me up! Whose idea was this midnight attack?
Cheatsy: Yours, King Dad! You said the early Koopa gets the Mushroom!
Koopa: Well, you never should’ve let me say it! Even at midnight we can’t beat the Mushroom people! They’re too united!
Kooky: Calm down, King Dad! Your cold Koopa blood is getting overheated!
Koopa: You’re right, Kooky! Besides *yawn* I never should keep me up past my bedtime!
(Koopa sits down in his throne and starts to sleep.)
Cheatsy: You can’t go to sleep yet, Pop! I’ve got a super devious and nasty plan! We’ll divide and conquer!
Koopa: You mean set Mushroom against Mushroom? It’ll never happen!
Cheatsy: I can make it happen!
(Koopa picks the two of them up, shifts his eyes, puts them in his lap, and pats their heads.)
Koopa: You little Koopalings! Tell Papa your plan *yawn* in the morning!
(From an establishing shot of Castle Koopa, the lights in each room get turned off one by one. Cut to the morning in the Mushroom Kingdom. Two Mushroomers are doing some sowing in a garden when the doomship and two doomjets approach them. The song “When the Koopas Paint the Town” starts up. The doomjets fly after all the Mushroomers they can find. One splashes some people with red paint which we later learn is called Koopa Color Goopa, while the other uses blue Koopa Color Goopa. It causes everyone’s body and clothes to turn to shades of the color they were splashed with. Mario and co. walk out of Toad’s house. Princess and Toad dash back into the house and avoid the Goopa, but Mario gets splashed with blue Goopa and Luigi gets red. The song ends. The Koopas are in the doomship watching everything on monitors.)
When the Koopas Paint the Town
Zooming down town
Down down down
We’ve changed our town
Down town down
Half will be red
Half will be blue
Brother and his mother
Divided in two
When the Koopas
Paint the town
The paint on your kingdom
Pinned me up against the wall (wall
wall)
The folks of different colors
Can’t get along at all
What’s the matter with you
Where to Paz
Hey Botticelli hand me a paintbrush
Help us choose
Choose choose choose
We’ll be doomed doomed doomed
Doomed doomed doomed
Right from the start
Up til the end
Neighbor fighting neighbor
Friend against friend
When the Koopas (Koopas)
Paint the town
Kooky: I’m a genius! My Koopa Color Goopa worked perfectly!
Koopa: Yeah, but did you have to spray so early in the morning? *yawn* I didn’t sleep a wink!
(Koopa goes to sleep. Meanwhile, the Mushroomers are walking around as normal, despite their new colors. Cheatsy and Kooky are spying on them.)
Cheatsy: We’ve added the colorful ingredients, now let's stir them up!
(Cheatsy puts on a cheesy costume that resembles a red Mushroom while Kooky puts on a blue. Cheatsy walks up to a blue baker and steals his pizza dough, which causes him to yell. Kooky walks up to the baker.)
Kooky: I saw that, it was one of those red Mushrooms! They’re always doing mean stuff like that!
Baker: Red Mushrooms? Hmm...
(Kooky is holding a spray paint can and walks up to a wall that a red painter is painting red. Kooky sprays the wall blue.)
Cheatsy: Darn blues! They just don’t respect us reds!
Painter: No respect! No respect!
(Cheatsy is now holding a red block and walks up to Kooky, who’s holding a blue one. They walk into each other and the blocks break.)
Kooky and Cheatsy: Woah!
Cheatsy: I’m walking here, you bumpus blue blueble! Ha ha ha ha!
Kooky: I was walking here first, you rippin’ red rupple!
Cheatsy: Oh yeah?
Kooky: Yeah!
Cheatsy: Oh yeah?
Kooky: Yeah!
Baker: My blue friend’s right! He was here first! I saw him!
Painter: My red friend was here first!
Baker: You rippin’ red rupple!
Painter: Yeah? You bumpus blue blueble!
(They put their fists up. Princess walks up to them as they start to fight.)
Princess: What’s going on here?
Baker: This rupple, says this street should just be for reds!
Princess: This blueble, says only blues should be allowed!
Princess: Oh, for Mushroom’s sakes! You can both use this street like you always have!
Toad: To think those two are cousins!
Mario: Lets go, Luigi, maybe we can straighten this out!
(Mario walks up to them and pushes the painter aside.)
Mario: C’mon fellas! Fighting won’t solve anything! The color you are doesn’t matter!
Cheatsy: Oh yeah? Then how come you pushed back the red guy and not the blue?
Luigi: Yeah? How come Mario?
Mario: Luigi!
Princess: Everyone, please! We all know Koopa’s behind this!
Toad: It’s no use, Princess! They’re all being pigmentated!
Cheatsy: Let’s drive those blues out of the kingdom!
Kooky: C’mon blues! Let’s have a big rumble, and give those reds what they deserve!
Cheatsy: RUMBLE!
Kooky: RUMBLE!
Mushrooms: RUMBLE! RUMBLE! RUMBLE!
Baker: Meet you tomorrow morning and settle this?
Painter: Tomorrow morning!
(The Mushroomers walk off chanting.)
Princess: Oh, this is terrible! The Mushroom Kingdom is splitting apart!
Cheatsy: And with the kingdom split, King Dad can be top banana! Ah ha ha ha ha!
(Cheatsy high fives Kooky as they take off their disguises in the bushes.)
(Mario and Luigi are now outside Castle Koopa.)
Mario: We’ve gotta sneak into Castle Koopa and find out what Koopa’s up to with his colored Goopa, before the Mushroom Kingdom has a rumble that’ll tear it apart!
Luigi: Right! Let’s go!
(They are now walking down a staircase in the castle. At the bottom are three corridors.)
Both: Oh no!
Mario: I say left!
Luigi: Well I say right!
Mario: You go your way, I’ll go mine!
(A Chain Chomp scares Mario out of the left passage and a Fire Chomp scares Luigi from the right. Some Para-Goombas fly down the stairs and chase after the Marios.)
Mario and Luigi: Center!
(They run down the center passage and jump into a warp pipe. It leads to a room with three more pipes.)
Mario: Pipe number one is the way to go!
Luigi: I’ll take pipe number two!
Mario: Oh, you’re so stubborn now that you’re red, Luigi!
Luigi: Oh yeah, well you’re a blue know it all!
Cheatsy: Those Mushroom people are so dumb!
(Cheatsy and Kooky laugh as the Marios notice the voices coming from the third pipe.)
Mario and Luigi: Pipe number three!
(The Marios run up to the pipe and listen in.)
Kooky: Oh yeah! We got them to believe that red was better than blue! And vice versa!
Cheatsy: When everyone knows that Koopa green is the sneakiest of all! Let’s get to that rumble, Kooky, and heat a few Mushrooms to the blowing point!
(Cheatsy and Kooky put their disguises back on.)
Kooky: And then, when they self saute, dear old King Dad will waltz right in and take over the kingdom!
Mario: We have been king-sized colossal jerks!
Luigi: Hey, how could we be so stupid? We fell in Koopa’s trap!
Mario: Even when we know better, we let our different colors drive us apart! Sorry Luigi!
Luigi: Sorry, Mario!
(The Marios shake hands and pat each others' backs.)
Mario: Hey, I just thought of a way we can unrumble that rumble! Come on!
(Cut to the Mushroom Kingdom the next morning. The reds are at one end of the field, while the blues are on the other end. Across the river, Koopa is waiting with a group of Sledge Bros. Koopa uses his wand to communicate with Cheatsy.)
Koopa: *long yawn* As soon as the rumble begins, we invade the kingdom!
Cheatsy: Gotcha, King Dad! We’ll get the rumble started!
(The reds are all confused.)
Painter: This rumble stuff is kinda scary! I really gotta fight my own cousin?
Cheatsy: Come on! We’re not yellow, we’re red! Lets rumble!
(The reds follow Cheatsy.)
Baker: Those red people used to be my friends! Maybe we should talk this over!
Kooky: Talk? While the reds wipe us out? Look, they’re heading this way! Charge!
(The reds and blues start marching towards each other.)
Koopa: I hope we can get this conquering over with so I can take a nap! *yawn*
(Mario runs up to the Mushroomers.)
Mario: Hold it! Emergency! The Princess Toadstool needs you!
Luigi: It’ll take all of you to rescue her! She’s trapped in a warp drain!
Cheatsy: So what? She’s not red! She’s not our princess anymore!
Painter: She’ll always be our princess!
Baker: She’s everyone’s princess!
(The Mushroomers follow the Marios to Toad, who is standing next to a pipe.)
Baker: Toad! Where’s the Princess? Is she okay?
(Princess walks out from behind the pipe.)
Princess: I’m right here, Baker! And I’m fine, now that all my friends are off the battlefield!
Mario: And the fact that you’re all here, reds and blues, shows your true colors!
Luigi: Yeah, no matter how you look, you’re all Mushroom people!
(The reds and blues cheer. They run up to each other and give themselves hugs.)
Baker and Painter: Cousin!
Mario and Luigi: Brother!
Kooky and Cheatsy: Rats!
Cheatsy: It’s a trick, red Mushrooms! Are you gonna forget all those horrible things the blues did?
Kooky: What about those terrible things the reds did? Let’s rumble!
(Kooky and Cheatsy start fighting each other. All the Mushrooms are confused at the Koopas, as their masks fall off.)
Kooky and Cheatsy: Ah!
(Cheatsy pulls out his wand.)
Cheatsy: Dad! Hurry! Attack! We’re in trouble! You’re the only one who can save us!
(Koopa, however, is taking a nap on the ground.)
Cheatsy: I think we better koop on out of here!
(Cheatsy and Kooky run off.)
Princess: Do you ever think everyone’s colors will ever fade back to normal?
Mario: Sure! They’ve already started! But it doesn’t matter anymore! Everyone’s learned that it’s not a person’s color that counts. It’s the kind of person they are inside!
(Everyone fades back to their normal colors as Mario talks.)
Luigi: Think they’ll ever learn that lesson in the Real World?
Mario: Heh heh, yeah, when people get as smart as Mushrooms!
(Mario grins and the curtain falls.)
The End
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