(The scene opens in an open field area. Three cave people arrive and each lay down a slab but are angry at the lack of room.)

Cave Person: Ooga booga.

Mario: Sheeeesh, somebody has to teach these guys organization and teamwork.

(Luigi and Yoshi arrive.)

Luigi (who has an oval-shaped stone in his hand): Hey Mario, look what I made.

Mario: It's a stone Luigi, you didn't make it.

Luigi: It's a football, I chisled it.

Mario: Well what're you waiting for? Throw me a pass.

Luigi: It's even official size.

(Luigi passes the ball to Mario and Mario falls over.)

Luigi: But not official weight.

Mario: Hey, you've just thrown me a great idea. We can use the football to teach the cave people organization and teamwork.

Cave People: Oh yeah, teamwork!

(The scene switches to behind a rock where Cheatsy and Bully are hiding.)

Cheatsy: Football, so that's their little game. We'd better tell King Dad.

(The scene shifts back to Mario and the gang, who are getting ready to start.)

Mario: Okay, if you get to here you score a touchdown. Now who wants to start?

Yoshi: Yoshi do, Yoshi do!

(Mario is about to throw the football to Yoshi.)

Yoshi: Higdy, hogdy, hyke!

(Mario throws the ball to Yoshi.)

Mario (to cave people): Tackle Yoshi!

(The cave people jump on each other)

Mario: Huh?

Yoshi (who has the ball in his mouth): Go long, score touchdown.

(Yoshi spits out the ball and Luigi chases after it.)

Yoshi: Ooh, Yoshi go see touchdown.

Mario: Wait Yoshi! I'd better stop him before he clobbers Luigi.

(Luigi is running to catch the football.)

Luigi: I got it, I got it.

(Luigi accidently bumps into a Magikoopa.)

Magikoopa: Hey, watch where you're going you egghead!

Luigi: Who's an egghead, egg face?

Magikoopa: You are!

(Magikoopa zaps his wand, turning Luigi into an egg.

Magikoopa: So what do you have to say now egghead? Hah hah-

(The football hits Magikoopa, knocking him away and his wand into a nearby bush.)

Cheatsy: Wow, Luigi's been turned into an egg!

Bully: King Dad would love me, uh us, even more if we bring him Luigi.

(Yoshi arrives and sees the egg and mistakes it for the football.)

Yoshi: Hmm, football here but no Luigi.

(Mario arrives.)

Mario (to Yoshi): Stop, you're out of bounds.

Cheatsy and Bully: Mario?

Bully: Let's get them both!

Mario: Koopalings?! Uh oh, Yoshi, keep running!

Yoshi: But Mario don't tackle Yoshi, Yoshi find touchdown.

(Mario and Yoshi jump in a warp pipe.)

Cheatsy: I can't believe they jumped into the warp pipe leading to the Neon Castle!

(The scene switches to outside the Neon Castle, where two Chargin' Chucks pile on Mario and Yoshi. Cheatsy and Bully arrive.)

Cheatsy: Take these prisoners to the dungeon, while we decide what to do with Luigi the egg.

Yoshi: Hey, that not egg, that football.

(Bully takes the egg from Yoshi.)

Bully: Sorry dino-dud, Luigi got turned into an egg, I saw it myself.

Mario: You mean that egg is Luigi?

Cheatsy: Yup, and I'm taking it to King Dad.

(Cheatsy walks into King Koopa's room, where the tyrant is asleep.)

Cheatsy: Ohhh King Daaad, how does eggs Luigi sound for dinner?

Koopa: Zzz...

Cheatsy: Maybe since I've captured the Mario Bros... what's that?

(Cheatsy moves Koopa's mouth.)

Cheatsy: What's that? You say I can do whatever I want with Mario and Luig? Thanks King Dad!

Koopa: Zzz...

(Cheatsy walks up to a cell that now has Mario and Yoshi in it.)

Cheatsy: It's time to have a little fun in the great Koopa tradition. We're challenging Mario and the Dino-Dweeb to a game of football. Also making his first appearence as the football, and probably his last, will be Luigi the egg.

Mario: Ahh!

(The scene switches to Mario and Yoshi, who are inside the cell. Mario is thinking and Yoshi is shaking.)

Mario: My brother's been turned into an egg and now these wretched reptiles want us to play football with my brother as the ball. I mean, what's this kingdom coming to? It's a long shot Yoshi, but I'm going to diagram some plays which might just get us out of here with Luigi.

(Mario starts drawing on the wall with some chalk while an eye is spying on them. That eye belongs to  Cheatsy.)

Cheatsy: I am the emperor of eavesdroping...

(It's the next day and Cheatsy is collecting money from some minions who are eager to watch the match.)

Yoshi: I scared Mario.

Mario: Now Yoshi, you and I may not be the best football players in the world, but we have to go out there and give it our best and work together like a team. After all, it doesn't matter if we win or lose, it's how we play the game.

Yoshi: Oh, but it do matter! If we drop egg, Luigi get scrambled.

(The scene switches to the football field, which is in the castle. Big Mouth arrives.)

Big Mouth: Looking live in the Koopa dome where football is played the way it was meant to be played in the dark, dusty dungeon. Welcome to today's match featuring those bad boys of the Neon Castle: the Koopa Curkuss Crunchers.

(The audience cheers.)

Big Mouth: Versus the Dome Heads, who by the way don't have any fans in attendance.

(The audience boos.)

Big Mouth: And before I forget we would like to give an extended welcome to Mario's brother, Luigi; without his presence as the ball none of this would be possible.

(Cheatsy holds up the egg.)

Big Mouth: Today's game will be refereed by honest, Cheatsy Koopa, sure Cheatsy might let a lot of penalties go unnoticed, but you have to let them play the game. Cheatsy is so unbiased that as a gesture of good will, Mario and Yoshi will start.

(Cheatsy hands the egg to Mario.)

Big Mouth: So it will be first and ten but it might as well be fourth because it's now or never it's do or die and it's sudden death if the egg bbbbbbreaks open. Boy that missed extra point sure looms big now, all the excitement-

Bully: Aw shut up, we'll never get started.

Mario: You see that double door over there? That's our goal.

( Mario and Yoshi are about to start when they find out they're against Bully and two Chargin' Chucks.

Mario: Hey, we're outnumbered!

Cheatsy: Objection overruled.

(Yoshi eats a Chargin' Chuck and then spits it out.

Yoshi: Eww, tastes like sweat bands.

Bully: Now that's not fair!

Mario: Tough, hike!

(Yoshi passes the ball to Mario but Bully jumps on him.)

Mario: Hey, what're you playing? Australian rules?

Bully: Yeah, I'm trying to knock you down under, six feet down under!

Yoshi: Pass to Yoshi, Mario.

Mario: Okay, but pass with your hands not your tongue, yuck.

(The Chargin' Chuck chases Yoshi, but Yoshi passes the egg to Mario and Bully pushes Mario out of bounds.)

Bully: Hey, no good, you're out of bounds.

Mario: Was not. I had both feet in.

Cheatsy: Aw, who cares? You didn't get the first down, so its the Koopas' egg.

(Bully snatches the egg. Bully passes the egg to Chargin' Chuck and  Chuck tries to pass it to Bully but Yoshi grabs it with his tongue. The song Fight to the Finish starts.) [Lyrics added by Hip.]

Come on raise up all our spirits
Shout the home team cheer
Let's place our voices high high high
So everyone will hear (yeah)
And until the game is over (exactly)
This is what we'll do (this is what we're gonna do)
So fight fight fight
Fight to the finish
We're all for you
So fight fight fight
Fight to the finish
We're all for you
So fight fight fight
Fight to the finish
We're all for you
So fight fight fight
Fight to the finish
We're all for you

(Mario jumps on Yoshi. Cheatsy and a Chargin Chuck block the exit but Mario and Yoshi go into a different hole in the wall where a Chargin' Chuck and some Boos chase them. A Thwomp falls but hits the Chargin' Chuck and Mario and Yoshi lose the Boos. Then they hit a ? Block to get many coins and a Starman. Some Ninjis arrive but Yoshi jumps on them. Then the two make it back to the arena where Big Mouth, Bully, and Cheatsy are blocking the way but Yoshi jumps over them, scoring a touchdown.)

Mario: Touchdown!

(The song ends.)

Cheatsy: Get back here! That's a five-yard penalty for excesive demonstration!

Mario: Sory reptile rough, Dome Heads 1 to Koopa Curkuss Crunchers a big, egg-shaped zero.

(Mario opens the door to see two Chargin' Chucks.)

Mario: Gulp, looks like I shoudn't have counted my eggs before they hatched!

(Suddenly the three cavemen from before arrive and tackle the Chargin' Chucks.)

Mario: Nice work team, but howdya find us?

Caveman: Trackim Koopalings footprints.

Bully: I'll leave footprints alright, on their faces!

Big Mouth: Charge!

(Each of the Cavemen tackle a Koopaling.)

Caveman: Teamwork, yeah.

(Mario, Yoshi [who still has the egg in his mouth] and the cavemen jump up the warp pipe back to the forest area where Luigi got turned onto an egg. Mario and the gang are in a straight line.)

Mario: Alright, we have to figure out what happened to Luigi but we have to work as a team.

Caveman: Walk alonga straight line, no swerving.

(Everyone walks in a straight line. One caveman bangs into a tree, another walks into a bush, and the third walks into a bush and finds Magikoopa's wand.)

Caveman: Ooga wanda zappa.

Mario: Okay Yoshi, let's have that egg, I mean Luigi.

(Yoshi spits out the egg.)

Caveman: Football, get football!

Mario: *gasp*

(The cavemen are about to jump on the egg but Mario zaps it and it turns back into Luigi. The cavemen land on Luigi and Yoshi starts licking Luigi.)

Luigi: Did I catch the ball?

Mario: What do you mean catch the ball? You were the ball!

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