Mario: Plumber's log number 1024. Rotten King Koopa had stolen every drop of spaghetti sauce in Car Land, but a small band of Mushroom rebels in a desert fort were making their own, and we were on our way to meet them. Only trouble was, one of King Koopa’s state Troopas was hot on our tail.

(Toad’s driving the gang down a desert highway in a brown convertible. They are being followed by a police car with a Troopa in a police uniform and a Larry Koopa-style hairdo driving.)

Mario: You shouldn’t have broken the speed limit, Toad!

(The Troopa pulls out a Cobrat and the Cobrat spits a bullet at them.)

Mario: I never should have let you drive!

Toad: You wanted a nap, remember?

Mario: But not in jail!

(The two cars pull over. The Troopa pulls out an intercom and talks into it.)

Troopa: Car 54 1/2 calling King Koopa. I’ve arrested the princess and her faucet finked friends.

(Meanwhile, the call is picked up by Koopa, who is with Mouser on a cliff overlooking the rebel fort. Koopa’s wearing a leather jacket, a nose ring, and a Larry wig.)

Koopa: Lock them up and throw away the key! And whatever you do, don’t let them get away!

(Koopa puts the intercom away.)

Koopa: The last of the spaghetti sauce is almost in my hands! I’ll make a fortune selling it back to those miserable Mushrooms! And now I’ve got that pesky princess too! Ha ha ha ha ha!

(Meanwhile, Mario and the gang are up against the convertible with Troopa pointing the Cobrat at them.)

Troopa: No you can’t call your lawyer or your mother. Any other questions?

(Suddenly, a chopper flies out of the sky and nearly hits the Troopa.)

Troopa: Yikes! A Mushroom rebel chopper!

(The Troopa runs and ducks under his car. The Toad chopper pilot drops a ladder down to the Marios.)

Chopper Pilot: Come on, Princess! Your people need you!

Mario: Go, Princess! Go while you can! We’ll meet you at the rebel fort!

(Princess climbs onto the rope ladder and the chopper flies away.)

Princess: Goodbye!

Toad: Now’s our chance to escape!

(The Troopa pops up behind them holding a Bob-omb.)

Troopa: Don’t even think about it, sewer scum! Bob-omb won’t like that! I’m in big enough trouble as it is losing the princess without losing you guys too!

(Koopa’s voice blares out of the intercom in the police car.)

Koopa: Car 54 1/2. Come in... or else!

The (Troopa looks over nervously.)

Troopa: Gulp! Watch ‘em, Bob-omb.

(Troopa darts over to the police car. While he’s gone, Toad starts slinging insults at the Bob-omb.)

Toad: Hey, Bob-omb! Did anyone ever tell you that you were uggg-ly? I’ve seen better=looking bombs after they exploded! I bet you have to sneak up on a match just to get a light!

(Bob-omb gets so mad, his fuse ignites.)

Toad: Run for it, guys!

(Mario, Luigi, and Toad all run off. The Troopa finishes his report to Koopa and climbs out of the car to see that they escaped.)

Troopa: You stupid bang head! Look what... YHAA!

(Bob-omb glares at him.)

Troopa: No! Don’t go off now!

(The Troopa dives on top of the Bob-omb and puts out his fuse.)

Troopa: Phew!

(Meanwhile, the rebel chopper arrives at the rebel fort and comes in for a landing.)

Rebels: Hail Princess! Hail Princess!

(Up on the hill, Koopa, Mouser, and a bunch of Troopas are revving the engines of their cars.)

Koopa: Get your motors running! They’ve got the princess inside that rebel fort! Koopa Pack, attack!

(The army speeds towards the fort.)

Princess: They’re coming! We must hold them off until my friends arrive!

(The rebels start throwing vegetables at the Troopas, knocking a few off their cars.)

Troopa: Yikes! Here! Take this!

(The Troopa fires a Cobrat at them. One of the rebels jumps out of the way before the bomb hits. Mouser, who is driving a car that looks like a ketchup bottle, gets hit by a pumpkin. His car flips over and lands on its side.)

Mouser: Cheese and mousetraps! How did that happen?

Koopa: That mouse brain! To think of all the gold coins I wasted on his driving lessons.

(A Troopa’s car with three Birdos on top zooms past Koopa. The Birdos fire at the fort, blowing up little bits of it.)

Princess: We need help!

(Meanwhile, the Marios are driving down the highway in the convertible with the radio going.)

Mario: This is the life! The wind in your face! A driving song on the radio! Nothing ahead but the open road! Ah!

(Princess’ voice comes over the radio.)

Princess: Mario! Toad! Luigi! If you can hear me, we need help! And fast!

Mario: Time to put the peddle to the metal!

(Mario pulls a switch and the car speeds off down the highway at blinding speed. Back at the rebel fort... )

Mouser: King Koopa sir, I just got word from your state Troopa. The plumbers have escaped!

Koopa: Those annoying wrench-heads won’t ruin my evil plan! Prepare an ambush, Mouser! Make road pizzas out of them!

(Meanwhile, Mario and the gang are still driving toward the rebel fort. Toad notices that they’re being followed by a group of state Troopas.)

Toad: Check your rearview mirror, Mario!

Mario: Handsome devil, ain’t I?

(A truck drives right in the path of the chase.)

Luigi: Mario, watch out!

Mario: Yikes!

Toad: We’re gonna crash!

Mario: Unfasten your seatbelts, guys, and get ready to jump!

(Mario brakes the car and they all fly into the sky. Toad grabs a nearby Star before they fall toward the rebel fort. Koopa watches them through binoculars.)

Princess: Quick! Get the mattresses!

Koopa: I’ve heard of falling stars, but plummeting plumbers?

(The rebels bring out a stack of mattresses and the Marios and Toad bounce off them.)

Princess: My heroes!

Koopa: Enough Mr. Nice Guy! It’s time for plan B! Mouser, bring forth the Thunder Birdo!

(Mouser drives up in a car with a giant Birdo riding on the front.)

Koopa: FIRE!!!

(Thunder Birdo fires a giant egg at the fort, blowing it into a pile of rubble.)

Koopa: End of the road, Princess Toadstool! End of the road! Ah ha ha ha ha!

Mouser: Come on, boss. I bet we barbecued them!

Koopa: Wait till the smoke clears, Mouser. Those plumbers are tricky. They might have set a sink trap!

(The Marios, Toad, and the princess all climb out of manholes in a not-so-ruined part of the fort.)

Princess: Hurry! King Koopa and his men will be swarming all over us any minute! We’ve got to escape!

Mario: How? We don’t have anything he wants.

Princess: Yes we do.

(Princess shows them a tanker truck with a faucet on the side.)

Princess: A tanker full of spaghetti sauce. Mario, you’ll drive the truck. I’ll go with you. You, Luigi, will be our eyes in the sky.

Luigi: Me? How?

Princess: You, Luigi. You’ll be flying the helicopter.

Luigi: But I don’t know how to fly! I don’t even know how to drive!

(The Toad chopper pilot walks up to the princess.)

Princess: (to pilot) Show Luigi how to fly the heli– *gasp*

(Another Birdo egg bombs the fort.)

Princess: -copter! And make it quick!

(As Luigi and the pilot go to the chopper, Toad shows the princess the Star.)

Toad: Look what I got, Princess!

Princess: Good work, Toad! With that Star, you can be anything! You could be the Toad warrior!

Toad: You got it! By the power of the shining Star, I am the…

(Toad suddenly turns into a biker. He wears a blue jacket, leather gloves, and a biker helmet that has the same pattern as the top of his head.)

Toad: ... Toad Warrior!

(All the Toad rebels start cheering.)

Toad: Hey, man, I’m the Fantastic Fungus! The supercharged Mushroom of Might! I’m the Toad Warrior!

Mario: (to Princess) He’s been watching to much TV lately, don’t you think?

(One of the Toads comes up with a bag of bomb plants.)

Toad: Give me five!

(The rebel extends his hand.)

Toad: No, give me five bomb plants!

(Princess and Mario hop in the truck, Luigi lifts the chopper off, and Toad revs his bike. Another bomb hits the fort.)

Princess: Let’s go! Hit the road, Toad!

Toad: Lead on, doll face!

(Back outside, Koopa’s army is about to enter the fort.)

Mouser: Come on, boss! They’re not even firing back! They must be history!

Koopa: Oh, alright. Let’s move in!

(They here the sound of an approaching vehicle.)

Mouser: What the?

(Koopa and Mouser jump away as the tanker truck speeds off down the road.)

Mario: Next time, Koopa, use the crosswalk!

Koopa: I’ll get you for this, Mario! Koopa pack, re-attack!

(The chopper flies into Koopa, knocking him onto his stomach.)

Koopa: Ow! And get that loser Luigi too!

(Toad’s bike runs over Koopa.)

Koopa: OUCH!!! AND GET HIM!!! GET THEM!!! GET ALL OF THEM!!!

(The Troopas take off after them. One of them drives alongside the tanker and throws a Bob-omb at it. It lands in Mario’s lap. Another Troopa comes up on the other side. Princess takes the Bob-omb and chucks it at the Troopa, blowing his car to bits. Luigi flies low to avoid a bird and flies into a Troopa who was coming up behind the truck. The car spins off the road and crashes. The three Birdos car fires at the truck. The shots miss, but cause the truck to swerve. Luigi drops a Bob-omb down on the Birdos. KABOOM!!! By now, Koopa has joined the pack in his own car.)

Koopa: Forward ho!

(Toad drives up alongside Koopa.)

Toad: Hey, punk! Wanna drag?

(Toad zooms off, leaving a cloud of dust in Koopa’s face.)

Koopa: *cough cough* No measly Mushroom beats King of the road Koopa in a *cough* race!

(Mouser drives through the pack with Thunder Birdo.)

Mouser: Out of the way! Coming through!

Mario: Uh oh! Here comes trouble. It’s Mouser, driving that Thunder Birdo!

(Princess grabs a bag of Bob-ombs and opens the door.)

Princess: Just keep going! I’ll take care of that dirty rat!

(Another Bob-omb hits the truck. Princess climbs onto the back end and drops a Bob-omb down on an unsuspecting Troopa. Mouser drives up with Thunder Birdo.

Mouser: Jump for it, Princess! I’m gonna blow that truck off the road!

Princess: That’s what you think!

(Princess throws the bag into Thunder Birdo’s mouth. The big egg-shooter and the car are blown to smithereens. Mouser flies into the air. Luigi drops a bomb from his chopper down on Mouser.)

Luigi: What goes up must go down.

Mouser: Not again!

KABOOM!!!

Mouser: Whoa!

(Mouser disappears into the sky. Meanwhile, Koopa and Toad are neck-and-neck.)

Toad: First one to the grand Koopa canyon gets the spaghetti sauce. Deal?

Koopa: Deal! For sure it won’t be you, biker breath!

(The tanker crosses the canyon by a bridge.)

Princess: We got them all, Mario! Every single one of Koopa’s state Troopas? But what about King Koopa?

(The two racing rivals speed toward the canyon.)

Koopa: Hey, warthog! Let’s play chicken!

Toad: Whoever slows down first loses!

(Mario, Luigi, and Princess watch as Toad and Koopa jump the canyon. Koopa’s car fails to make it and slams into the cliff wall. Toad, however, makes it with ease.)

Koopa: Oh… What?

(Koopa’s car falls into the canyon, but Koopa opens a parachute and floats down into a river.)

Koopa: I’ll be back! You can’t keep a bad Koopa down!

(Toad looses his Star power and becomes himself again.)

Toad: Aww… No more Toad Warrior.

Mario: You made it, Toad!

Toad: We all made it!

Princess: Thank you, my friends! You’ve saved my people again! There will be spaghetti sauce for all!

Mario: Sounds good to me!

(Mario runs up to a faucet on the side of the tanker.)

Princess: Wait! Mario!

Mario: I can’t, Princess. I’ve been eating dried pasta for weeks! I’ve gotta have it!

(Mario turns the handle and pasta sauce shoots out, knocking Mario over.)

Princess: You got all right!

(Everyone laughs.)

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