(The curtain rises on Dark Land and the title is shown.)

(Bully, Kootie Pie, Big Mouth, Hip and Hop are marching around outside Castle Koopa, which is surrounded by garbage. They stop as Koopa walks up to them.)

Koopa: You Koopa Kids clean up this mess or you don't get to do anything mean for a whole week!

(The Koopalings gasp. Koopa walks off and Bully jumps into a hammock.)

Bully: You heard King Dad, get to work!

Big Mouth: Yeah, I heard him! Did you hear him? You're a lazy bbbbully, Bully! If you don't help us, I'm gonna tattle!

Bully: I'm doin' the brainwork, Big Mouth!

(Kootie Pie picks up a can and tosses it aside.)

Kootie Pie: Oh no! I broke a nail! This is no job for someone as magnificently beautiful as I!

(Bully walks over to her.)

Bully: You? Beautiful? I thought you were part of the garbage, Kootie Pie!

Kootie Pie: Alright this is war!

(Kootie Pie picks up some sludge and throws it at Bully's face. He shakes it off and picks up a Koopa shell.)

Bully: Eat trash!

(Bully throws it at Kootie Pie but misses and hits Big Mouth in the face.)

Koopa (offscreen): I hope you're making that junk disappear!

Bully: We're on it, King Dad!

(Bully picks up some trash and walks over to a warp pipe.)

Bully: Presto! No more garbage!

(Bully drops it into the pipe.)

(Mario and Co. are taking a walk in the garden near the Princess' castle. A bunch of garbage falls out of an upside down warp pipe and surrounds them.)

Luigi: Ahh! It's a garbage storm!

Princess: What kind of person would throw trash onto a beautiful garden?

(Mario picks up a trophy of Koopa from the trash.)

Mario: (reading the trophy inscription) World's Repulsivest Reptile (stops reading) Koopa, that's who!

Princess: This Koopa crud could kill the whole kingdom!

Luigi: Well what are we supposed to do? Wave a magic wand and make it all go away?

Mario: That's it! We'll get a Koopa Kid's magic wand, and send this trash back to Koopa!

(Mario and Co. jump into the pipe the trash came out of.)

(Cut to the outside of Castle Koopa. The trash is all gone.)

Big Mouth: See, King Dad? See? We cleaned up all the trash! And I did the most!

Kootie Pie: He's lying! I did the most!

Koopa: Who cares who did the most?

(Mario and Co. jump out of the pipe and run into the castle.)

Koopa: It's those meddling Mario Bros. and that putrid Princess Toadstool! After 'em!

(The Koopas chase after them into the castle. Mario and Co. run past a Koopa knight.)

Luigi: Hey, let's get out of sight behind this knight!

(They hide behind the knight. The Koopas run past it, then come running back the other way. As they do, Mario reaches out and grabs Hip's wand right out of his hand.)

Toad: Let's get out while the getting's good!

(They run off but the Koopas notice them.)

Koopa: Huh? They got Hip's magic wand!

(The Koopas run after Mario and Co., who get outside of the castle.)

Princess: Try to find a Super Leaf!

(Mario jumps up and hits a block containing a Super Leaf. It floats down and Princess grabs it and gains raccoon power. Luigi and Toad jump up and each break a block with a Super Leaf and gain raccoon power. Mario jumps up and breaks a block with a Super Leaf and gains raccoon power. The foursome fly off towards the Mushroom Kingdom.)

Koopa: I'll get my doomship and fly rings around those raccoons!

(Cut to the Mushroom Kingdom, which is covered with trash. The doomship flies after Mario and Co. and shoots Bob-ombs at them.)

Mario: Looks like Koopa's hot on our trail!

(A Bob-omb explodes right next to Luigi and singes his tail.)

Luigi: WHOA! I'd say he's hot on our tail!

Koopa: Paragoombas, attack!

(A swarm of Paratroopas fly out of the doomship and go after Princess and Toad.)

Princess: You go high, I'll go low!

(Princess flies down while Toad flies up. The Paragoombas crash into each other. They make it back to the garden, but the trash is giving off a horrid odor.)

Toad: That toxic Koopa trash is polluting your whole garden, Princess!

Princess: We have to get rid of it, before it spreads through the kingdom and kills everything off!

(Koopa picks up a megaphone.)

Koopa: Give me back Hip's magic wand! As Koopa property it's rightfully mine!

Mario: You're right, Koopa! We should give you back what's yours!

(Mario and Co. land.)

Mario: Garbage, garbage, on our stoopa, get out of here and go back to Koopa!

(Mario zaps the garbage. The garbage forms itself into a ball and even sucks in the wand.)

Mario: Oh no, I lost the wand!

(Mario runs towards the garbage ball, but Luigi holds him back.)

Luigi: Don't, Mario! You'll get sucked into the junk heap!

(More trash flies past Mario and Luigi.)

Mario and Luigi: Whoa!

(The garbage ball flies towards the doomship, which retreats to Dark Land. The ball hits the doomship, which crashes outside of the castle. Big Mouth and Bully walk up to Koopa.)

Big Mouth: Look at all this neat stuff you got, King Dad! We used to have a lot of neat stuff like this, but we go rid of it! We-

Koopa: It's not neat stuff, you nincomkoop! It's the same trash we had before! Now get rid of it! And this time see it doesn't come back!

(Cut to the garden. Mario, Luigi, and Princess are taking another walk.)

Princess: Well, that ought to teach Koopa to keep his garbage to himself!

(Toad walks past them carrying a box.)

Toad: Never trust a Koopa unless you check up on 'em!

(Luigi grabs a periscope from the box.)

Luigi: Hey, my old plumber's periscope!

(Mario grabs the periscope and sticks it up the pipe the trash came out of.)

Mario: Just what we need to make sure Koopa really did learn his lesson!

(Mario looks through the periscope and sees some Sledge Bros. tossing boxes of garbage into another pipe.)

Bully: Just like Daddy always says-

Big Mouth: If you want something done-

Kootie Pie: Find someone else to do it!

(They laugh.)

Mario: Those Koopa Kids haven't learned a thing! They're contaminating someone else's land now!

Princess: You'd better stop them! Toad and I will stay here and guard the Mushroom Castle in case there's another garbage attack!

Mario: Super Mario Bros. Trash Busters to the rescue!

(The Marios run off. Cut to Castle Koopa. Bully is ordering the Sledge Bros. around.)

Bully: Heave ho! Heave ho! Whoa boy, it's hard work making you guys work hard!

(The Marios spy on them from behind a pile of trash.)

Mario: Let's look down that drain pipe and see where that trash is going!

(The Marios hide in a box of garbage and get tossed into the pipe.)

(The Marios come out of a warp pipe and land in a street in Brooklyn that is already covered with some trash.)

Luigi: Hey, what a mess! Am I glad I don't live here!

Mario: Luigi, this is our home! It's the Real World!

Mario: Koopa's garbage is polluting Brooklyn!

(Garbage continues to fall out of the pipe and people run for cover. The Marios use trashcan lids as makeshift umbrellas.)

Mario: Now this Koopa garbage is starting to give me one big headache!

Luigi: Yeah, well that's nothing compared to a headache like Koopa himself!

(Luigi points to a Koopa tail which is poking out of an alley.)

Mario: Let's go tug that litterbug's tail, Luigi!

(The Marios run up to the tail.)

Mario: Your trash dumping days are through, Koopa!

(They start pulling on the tail.)

Luigi: Leaping lookalikes!

(The Marios are shocked to see that it's an ordinary man who has turned into a Koopa himself but is still wearing his normal clothing. He walks off like a zombie.)

Zombie: Koopa! Koopa!

Luigi: Huh? That toxic Koopa trash is turning people into Koopa zombies!

(A piece of garbage floats onto a taxi. The driver, who's in the middle of cleaning it, picks up the garbage and turns into a zombie.)

(The Marios run to city hall.)

Mario: There's city hall! Maybe the mayor can help us!

(They run inside.)

Luigi: *gasp* But who's gonna help the mayor?

(The mayor runs up to them. Only his face is still normal.)

Mayor: Uh oh! Nobody will re-elect me looking like this! Not even in New York!

(The mayor's face becomes Koopafied and he walks off.)

Mayor: Koopa! Koopa!

(More zombies join in the Koopa chant. The Marios start collecting the trash with shovels and put it into bags.)

Mario: We gotta get rid of this Koopa garbage before the whole Real World gets Koopafied!

(Koopa, Bully, Big Mouth, and Kootie Pie are in the doomship, watching the zombies walk around on a monitor.)

Bully: See, King Dad? Those humans are getting better looking by the minute!

Big Mouth: Yeah, and they're gonna pick you to be their leader! Isn't that always the way? Treat people lousy, dump garbage on their heads and they'll follow you anywhere-

(Koopa shoves a can on Big Mouth's head.)

Koopa: You kids go keep that garbage coming! This is my chance to rule what used to be, the human kingdom!

(The zombies continue to walk down the streets chanting "Koopa". The doomship flies over Brooklyn with a banner of the Marios trailing behind.)

Koopa: (through a megaphone) This is your leader speaking! These are Mario Bros.! Find 'em and waste 'em! To the winner goes the spoils! Here's some ammunition from Dark Land!

(Koopa pulls a lever and garbage pours out of a hatch in the doomship.)

Zombies: More garbage! More garbage!

(The zombies find the Marios and run after them.)

Zombies: Stop those Mario Bros.! Trash 'em!

Mario: Come on, Luigi! Looks like these garbage ghouls want to bag us like yesterday's litter!

(The song Stink City, USA starts up.)

Piling up garbage in a great big heap
Stink City USA
It smells so awful it could make me weep
Stink City USA
Dumping down from heavenly clouds
Just let it crush ya in a Koopa mound
Stink City USA
Stink City USA
Gonna spread slime over everyone
Stink City USA
Never remember having so much fun
Stink City USA
Meeting the enemy face to face
Spilling our garbage on the human race
Stink City USA (yeah)
Stink City USA (yeah)
Stink City USA (yeah)
Stink City U-S-A
P-U!

(The Marios split up. Mario throws trash at a zombie's face and dives into an open sewer. A baby zombie in a stroller throws a Bob-omb which almost hits Luigi. A baker zombie swims after Mario in the sewer, he squeezes icing tubes and Bloopers come out and chase after Mario, who swims off through a pipe. Another zombie chases Luigi through the subway into a station. He opens his briefcase and a Fire Snake goes after Luigi. Luigi jumps through the ceiling and breaks out onto the
street, where two Dry Bones chase after him. Mario comes out of a fire hydrant and is chased by two more Dry Bones. Mario meets up with Luigi and the Dry Bones crash into each other. They attack some more Troopers but the zombies chase after them. The Marios hide in a pile of garbage in an alley and the zombies keep running past them. The song ends.)

Mario: Whew! Looks like another fine mess Koopa's gotten us into!

(Mario sprouts a Koopa tail.)

Luigi: Uh oh! Mario, what's big and green and follows you everywhere you go?

Mario: Um, a stray Christmas tree?

(Luigi grabs the tail.)

Luigi: A Koopa tail!

Mario: Oh no! Luigi, we gotta get rid of this trash before it turns me all the way into a Koopa!

Luigi: Well, we, we tried magic the last time, and the garbage just came back worse than ever!

Mario: I think you're right, Luigi! The garbage won't go away by magic! There's only one real solution to this mess!

Luigi: Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Mario?

(They run off.)

(Cut to the Statue of Liberty, which has also been Koopafied. The doomship is parked in the air next to it.)

Koopa: New York, New York! What a Koop of a town!

(Koopa plugs in a tube to the doomship.)

Koopa: Brooklyn is mine! Now to take Manhattan, Queens, and the Bronx with my new Crud Cannon!

(Koopa pulls a lever and begins sucking up garbage with the tube and spraying it out of a cannon. The garbage hits some seagulls and they turn into Paragoombas. More garbage lands in the water and turns the fish into Big Berthas.)

Koopa: It's a dirty job, but somebody gets to do it! *laugh*

(Another ball of garbage flies toward Central Park and lands near the Marios, who are working on a vehicle they made out of spare parts that's a cross between a dust buster and a tank.)

Luigi: Hey, we better get this Trash Smasher on the road, Mario!

Mario: But it's not finished! And I'm almost Koopafied!

(All that Mario's missing is a proper snout.)

Luigi: Hey, snap out of it, Mario! You can't go Koopa Zombie on me!

Mario: You gotta take charge, Luigi! I'm fading fast!

(Mario finishes his transformation.)

Mario: Koopa! Koopa!

Luigi: No, Mario! I'm your brother! You stay here and I'll try to save you!

(Luigi climbs into the Trash Smasher.)

Luigi: The Trash Smasher will get rid of all the garbage!

(Luigi drives off and begins sucking up all the garbage. Stuff like appliances and trashcans come out the other end.

Zombies: Koopa! Koopa!

(As more garbage gets sucked up, zombies start returning to normal.)

People: (normal voices) We hate that Koopa!

(Luigi drives by Mario and he turns back to normal. Luigi gets out of the Trash Smasher and walks up to Mario.)

Luigi: Well, that's the last of the trash, Mario! I recycled it all! Hey, now you're being recycled!

(They give each other five. Some more garbage lands right next to them.)

Mario and Luigi: Whoa!

(They look up and see more garbage being fired around the city from the doomship.)

Koopa: (through a megaphone) I've got plenty more garbage aboard the doomship, you no-good neat-nicks!

Mario: And we've got plenty more ways to recycle it!

(They jump into the Trash Smasher and a propellor pops out.)

Koopa: Huh?

(The Trash Smasher flies after the doomship.)

Koopa: Get away from me you gargantuan garbage gobbling gizmo, you!

Mario: No way, Koopa! We're going to stay right on your tail!

Luigi: Yeah, til you learn to clean up your trashy act!

Statue of Liberty: Those Mario Bros. are super!

(The curtain falls.)

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