Misadventure of Mighty Plumber

Submitted by Hip

(The curtain rises on the Pipe Maze and the title is shown.)

(Open to the Marios watching TV at Toad's House. On the TV, a lady in a kitchen screams.)

Luigi: Oh, it's gonna get her, Mario! I can't look!

(Luigi covers his eyes.)

Mario: If I had known you were gonna get this excited, I'd have never brought this Real World TV into the Mushroom Kingdom!

(The lady on TV screams again as slime starts to fill up the kitchen.)

Luigi: Sheesh! Don't panic lady, call Mighty Plumber!

Lady: I'll call Mighty Plumber!

(The lady picks up the phone as a slime monster approaches her and grows bigger.)

Lady: Help me Mighty Plumber, please!

Announcer: We will return to the Adventures of Mighty Plumber after these messages.)

Luigi: Hey, gosh Mario! Do you think Mighty Plumber will save the lady from the monster?

Mario: Count on it, Luigi! Our hero always gets his clog!

(Cut to Castle Koopa. Koopa is in his study jumping, stomping his foot, and shouting. Big Mouth and Bully walk in.)

Big Mouth: Hey look! King Dad's doing aerrrobic exercises, and getting in shape with more madness! Great idea!

(Big Mouth and Bully start to jump but some books fall on top of them.)

Koopa: Knock it off, knuckleheads! I'm not doing exercises! I'm having a temper tantrum!

Big Mouth: Hey, King Pop! What are we having a tantrum about?

Koopa: Because I just found the map I need to rob the Royal Coin Treasury of Pipe Land! And every time I try to steal something, the Mario Bros. stop me! I've gotta come up with a plan to get rid of them!

(Hip rolls in on his ball as Hop runs in.)

Hip: King Dad! King Dad!

Hop: Come quick and see-

Hip: What Cheatsy's doing!

(In another room, Cheatsy is watching a race car on TV.)

Cheatsy: Why buy toys in a store, when you can cheat, and zap 'em out of the TV?

(Cheatsy zaps the TV with his wand. The car flies out of the screen and rolls into the hallway.

Hip and Hop: Yay, Cheatsy! Yay! Yay!

(Hip and Hop get in the car and drive off past Koopa.)

Koopa: How can I come up with a brilliant plan to get rid of the Mario Bros. with all this going on?

(Koopa walks up to the TV.)

Announcer: And now back to the Adventures of Mighty Plumber!

Lady: *scream* Help!

(A burly, Indiana Jones-type man, who is none other than Mighty Plumber, comes through the door.)

Mighty Plumber: Mighty Plumber to the rescue! Faster than a speeding plunger!

(Mighty Plumber throws a roped plunger to the ceiling and uses it to swing across the kitchen while shouting like Tarzan to rescue the lady from the monster.)

Mighty Plumber: More powerful than a pipe wrench!

(Mighty Plumber jumps over to the monster.)

Mighty Plumber: Able to snag disgusting drain clogs with a flick of the wrist!

(He lassos a plumber snake and uses it to tie up the monster.)

Lady: My hero!

Koopa: Mighty Plumber! That's it! I'll trick him into sending the Mario Bros. right down the drain!

(Koopa grabs Cheatsy's wand and zaps Mighty Plumber out of the TV.)

Mighty Plumber: Yeow!

Koopa: Mighty Plumber! Have I got a job for you!

Mighty Plumber: You'll have to make an appointment! I have a leaky kitchen to fix!

(On the TV, the kitchen is flooding and the lady screams.)

Koopa: Aw, she can wait! This is an emergency! Two evil little plumbers are trying to steal Pipe Land's coin treasury! You gotta help me bring the gold coins back to my castle, where they'll be safe from those thieves!

Mighty Plumber: Have no fear! Mighty Plumber will teach them that crime never pays!

(Back at Toad's House, the TV is showing nothing but static.)

Mario: Aw, meatballs! The TV's on the blink!

(Mario hits the TV.)

Luigi: Oh no! We're gonna miss the part where Mighty Plumber saves the lady from the flooding kitchen, yeesh! Whoa!

(A Venus Fire Trap sticks its head through the window and scorches the wall. It leaves a message which Mario reads.)

Mario: Robbing Pipe Land Treasury - Dare you to stop me... Your enemy, King Koopa!

Luigi: Ooh, this is terrible!

Mario: Right! We can't let King Koopa cop all those gold coins!

Luigi: No, I mean missing the rest of this week's Mighty Plumber adventure!

Mario: But what we did see was an inspiration.

(Mario walks up to the TV and hits it again.)

Mario: Now we can do our best to stop Koopa, just like Mighty Plumber would!

(Cut to the Pipe Maze. Koopa and Mighty Plumber are next to a large pipe structure. Koopa looks at his map and points to the structure.)

Koopa: This is the entrance to the underground maze of pipes, where the treasury is hidden! Can you get it open?

Mighty Plumber: Through muck, sweat, and slime, Mighty Plumber does it with no overtime!

(Might Plumber opens up a pipe with his wrench. Water comes blasting out and hits Koopa.)

Koopa: *shout* Uh, I think I'll wait outside.

(Koopa waits near another pipe.)

Koopa: Boy, have I got Mighty Plumber conned! I wonder what I'll buy with all those gold coins? An ocean liner? A Koopa DeVille?

(The Marios come out of the pipe.)

Mario: I'm afraid all your plans have just hit a clog!

Koopa: Whoa!

Luigi: Hey!

Koopa: Tell that to my new partner!

(Koopa whistles and Mighty Plumber walks up to him.)

Koopa: Oh, Mighty Plumber, those nasty thieving plumbers are here!

Mario and Luigi: Mighty Plumber!

(The Marios jump down from the pipe.)

Luigi: Hey, my idol! Oh wow! He's here in person! Ha ha! Hey, can I have your autograph?

Mighty Plumber: Traitor!

(Luigi backs off as Mighty Plumber walks up to him)

Luigi: But if you're busy I can wait!

Mighty Plumber: You disgraced our profession!

Koopa: *laugh* They're crooks, Mighty Plumber! Get 'em!

(Mighty Plumber throws his roped plunger at the Marios, but they jump out of the way.)

Mario: Mighty Plumber, wait! You're our hero! We brought our TV set from Brooklyn so we could watch your show!

(Mighty Plumber tries to hit the Marios with his plunger, but they jump into a pipe filled with water. Mighty Plumber lowers his plumber snake into the pipe.)

Luigi: A plumber snake!

(They struggle with the snake to keep it from moving.)

Mario: Aim it up there!

(They direct the snake into another pipe and it comes out of a pipe behind Koopa.)

Koopa: Mighty Plumber fell for my phony story! This is going great!

(The snake wraps around Koopa's neck and pulls him back through the pipe.)

Mighty Plumber: I've snagged 'em this time!

(Koopa comes out of the pipe and lands next to Mighty Plumber.)

Koopa: Quit gaping! We gotta find the Pipe Land Treasury, and move the coins to my castle, before these two can steal 'em!

(Cut to an underground part of the Pipe Maze. The Marios are wading through a shallow river.)

Luigi: Hey, we've gotta find Mighty Plumber and make him see his mistake!

(They get out of the water and walk along the ledge.)

Mario: Koopa's fire message said he was gonna rob the treasury! I bet that's where he's taking Mighty Plumber right now!

(They stop in front of two pipes.)

Luigi: Yeah, but how do we know which way to go?

Mario: Simple as pizza pie! Eeeny-meeny-miney-Mario!

(Mario points to the pipe on the left.)

Mario: Come on, Luigi!

(Mario runs into the left pipe and Luigi follows.)

(The Marios come out of a pipe in another room. They walk up to another pipe and can hear Koopa's voice from the bottom.)

Koopa: The treasury vault can't be much further! I'd better check the map

Luigi: Well, we can't let Mighty Plumber steal the treasury! They'll put him in jail! They'll cancel his TV show!

Mario: He can't steal it if we get it first! All you gotta do is grab Koopa's map!

Luigi: Are you sure your plan will work?

Mario: Trust me!

(Luigi walks over to another pipe.)

Luigi: Come, out! I dare ya, ya Venus Fire Trap!

(A Venus Fire Trap sticks itself out of the pipe. Mario holds it by the stem as it bites onto Luigi's overalls.)

Luigi: And you promised this was a safe idea? Whoa!

(Mario lowers Luigi and the Venus Fire Trap down the pipe where they heard Koopa. Luigi's overalls rip and Luigi falls right on top of Koopa.)

Luigi: Sorry to drop in like this! I gotta run! Yeow!

(Luigi grabs the map and runs off.)

Koopa: Get him, Mighty Plumber! He stole my map!

(Mighty Plumber throws his roped plunger at Luigi and catches him. Koopa runs up to Luigi and grabs the map.)

Koopa: I'll take that!

Mario: Luigi's in trouble!

(Mario jumps down the pipe and steps on Mighty Plumber's foot. Mighty Plumber jumps, shouts, and drops Luigi and the plunger. Mario grabs the plunger as he and Luigi run off.)

Koopa: You may have the plunger, but I've got the map!

(Mario throws the plunger at Koopa's face and he drops the map.)

Mario: You don't have it anymore!

(Mario picks up the map and runs off with Luigi again.)

Koopa: Gimme that map!

(The song Kill 'Em starts.)

Run down the runway doin' 75
Freeze 'em with the rapid strive to survive
Burn 'em to be rescued from an enemy attack
Think you're gonna hit 'em but just don't look back
Kill 'em
Keep your cool
Super Plumber is nobody's fool
Kill 'em
When the going gets tough
Super Plumber don't get stuck
Plunger in your hand
Yes that's true and if
Anybody can
Super Plumber can
Kill 'em
Keep your cool
Super Plumber is nobody's fool
Kill 'em
When the going gets tough
Super Plumber don't get stuck
Kill 'em
Just keep your cool
Super Plumber don't get stuck

(The Marios run to the river and jump on a pipe which they use as a raft. Koopa and Mighty plumber run after them. Mighty Plumber pulls out a grating and they use it as a raft. The Marios avoid a group of Venus Fire Traps, one of which hits Koopa's tail with a fireball. Koopa blows out the small fire. The Marios approach a cascade. Luigi holds up the map, which Mighty Plumber catches with his snake. Mighty Plumber throws his roped plunger at an overhead block which he and Koopa use to swing into a pipe. The Marios go over the cascade, get out of the water, and climb up a ladder. At the top Mario opens a grating and they crawl through. The song ends.)

(Mario points to some footprints going down a path.)

Mario: Look! Plumber-prints and Koopa-prints! Come on!

(Koopa and Mighty Plumber run up to a door.)

Koopa: There it is! The Pipe Land Treasury vault! Okay, big guy! Break down the door!

(Mighty Plumber uses his wrench on the handle. He manages to open the door. Koopa throws away the map and runs in laughing with Mighty Plumber following him.)

Koopa: At last! All the gold coins in Pipe Land are mine!

(Koopa zaps a pile of coins with his wand and they fly into a sack as he laughs.)

(Water starts pouring out of some pipes.)

Mighty Plumber: We've sprung a leak!

Koopa: That's your problem! Those little plumbers aren't the thieves, I am!

(Koopa runs out and shuts the door.)

Mighty Plumber: Hey, come back here!

(Mighty Plumber tries to open the door, but he can't. The Marios show up in a hole in the ceiling.)

Mario: We tried to tell ya, big guy!

Mighty Plumber: I let that slimy reptile trick me! I'm a disgrace to the plumbing profession!

Mario: No you're not! You're our hero! You taught us everything we know!

Luigi: Yeah, like the old pipe battering ram trick, it's one of our favorites!

(The Marios jump down and pick up a small pipe. They shove it onto a pipe that's pouring out water and it blocks the water from pouring.)

Mario: She's gonna blow!

(The pipe blasts out and knocks down the door.)

Mighty Plumber: Okay, fellow drain surgeons! We have a job to do!

(Koopa runs up to a pipe and stops.)

Koopa: The pipe warp! I'm home free!

Mighty Plumber: Not quite, Koopa!

(Mighty Plumber grabs the sack with his roped plunger.)

Koopa: Yikes!

(Mighty Plumber tries to pull the sack away from Koopa, but Koopa breaks the plunger and picks up the sack.)

Koopa: That's what you think, sink fink!

(Koopa jumps into the pipe.)

Mighty Plumber: He got away!

Mario: Come on, Luigi! Let's make Koopa's escape a real wash-out!

(The Marios walk up to a pipe facing the one Koopa went through. They turn the valve and water comes gushing out and into Koopa's pipe.)

(Koopa comes out in Castle Koopa in the TV room.)

Koopa: I got it! I got it!

(The water tosses Koopa out of the pipe. Koopa drops the sack and gets washed down a hole. Cheatsy grabs the sack. The three plumbers come out of the pipe. The Marios grab the sack and Cheatsy runs off. Mighty Plumber rides on top of the water and grabs Cheatsy's tail with his snake.)

Cheatsy: Hey, no fair! Put me down!

Mario: Not until you use your wand to put Mighty Plumber back in the TV set!

Cheatsy: Okay, okay! Don't be such a nag!

Mighty Plumber: What about the Pipe Land Treasury?

Luigi: We'll put it where it belongs! You've gotta get back on TV! Save that lady in the kitchen!

(Mighty Plumber walks up to the TV.)

Mario: Do your thing, Cheatsy!

(Cheatsy zaps Mighty Plumber, who shrinks and jumps back into the TV. Mario grabs Cheatsy's wand.)

Mario: Just in case you're thinking of taking Mighty Plumber off the air again!

(The Marios jump into the pipe with the sack.)

(Cut to Toad's House. The Marios are watching Mighty Plumber on TV. They cheer for Mighty Plumber, who gives a thumbs up.)

Mario: Hey, can we pick heroes, or what?

(The curtain falls.)

The End

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