Mario: Plumber's log, #25. We were crossing the Desert Kingdom, when things really got hot for Toad.

(Open up to the Mario gang in the desert. Mario and Luigi are riding a two-man bike while towing Princess Toadstool, who's riding in a bathtub. Toad is doing gymnastics on the shower pipe, giggling.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to our heroes, they are being watched by a fierce lookin' fireball... Fryguy.)

Fryguy: Stop der, deadbeat!

(Fryguy spits some flames and the Marios soon find themeselves under an assault of fireballs.)

Mario: Holy ravioli!

Luigi: Mamma mia!

(And Fryguy keeps it coming. He spits one more fireball straight at the Marios.)

Mario Bros.: YIKES!

(After that the Bros. have to stop. But they stop so suddenly that Toad flies off the tub-)

Toadstool: Toad!

(-and into the nonexsistant feet of Fryguy.)

Fryguy: Ssss, I've been lookin for you, musshroom.

Toad: Yeowch, it's Fryguy!

Fryguy: Ya owe me 60 gold coins! Pay up by sundown, or I'll turn you into fried fungusss!

(The princess walks over to Fryguy.)

Toadstool: But Toad can't pay you, Koopa took all our money!

Fryguy: Then find a way to get some! Maybe you can win the prize money from the great BMX race! Sss.

(Fryguy leads them to a cactus with a poster tacked on. It says "BMX RACE" and has a picture of a guy on a bicycle.)

Mario: Huh? A poster?

Luigi: It's a bike race. And we got a bike!

Mario: Yeah! A bike with pasta power! (to Toad) We'll save you, pisano!

(Later, at the starting point...)

Mario: Here's the starting line, but where's the other racers?

Luigi: Gee, looks like we scared 'em off!

(Luigi spoke too soon, as the ground starts shaking as if a cattle stampede were headed their way.)

Luigi: Huh?

Mario: Wha-?

(It's no stampede, but the other racers: Tryclyde on a scooter, Mouser on a chopper, and Koopa Troopa on a tricycle.)

Luigi: On second thought, Mario, those guys scared me off!

(Luigi tries to run off, but Mario stops him. At this point, Mouser, Tryclyde, and Troopa have biked up to them.)

Mouser: Looks like you forgot your training wheels, sewer saps!

(Mouser, Tryclyde, and Troopa have a laugh, and Mouser falls off his chopper.)

Mouser: Ouch!

(Mouser gets up and onto his chopper, only to find that the Mario Bros. have already started and are fast escaping sight.)

Mario: Arrivaderci!

(The other racers give a yell and go after them. Meanwhile, Princess Toadstool and Toad watch the race through binoculars.)

Toadstool: Yay, Marios!

Toad: Lookin' sweet, guys! I sure hope nothing goes wrong!

Toadstool: There's only one despicable creature who could stop them now, and he's probably miles away.

(Suddenly, Toadstool spies King Koopa nearby, talking to his Troopas.)

Toadstool: Oh no! Oh no, Koopa's here! We gotta check this out!

(Cut to Koopa, talking into a walky-talky.)

Koopa: Attention, Team Koopa, when those pain-in-the-drain plumbers reach Deadman's curve, nail 'em real nasty! Heh heh. Now I'll really pull the plug on those faucet freaks! Heh ha ha ha!

(Cut to Toad and the princess, who were listening nearby.)

Toadstool: So this is another one of Koopa's conniving cons!

Toad: He knew Mario and Luigi would enter the race to save me from Fryguy!

(Cut to The Mario Bros.)

Luigi: Yo, Mario! You know what you're doing?

Mario: Sure. I'm doing 60 miles an hour!

Luigi: Leaping lasagna!

(And so the Bros. go, over hill and dale.)

Luigi: Whoa! Whoa! W-whoa!

Mario: You okay Luigi?

Luigi: I'd feel better if we went back and got my stomach...

(Up ahead, the princess and Toad run onto the road.)

Toadstool: Here they come, Toad! We have to get out there and stop them!

(The princess and Toad call out to the Bros. to stop, but Mario and Luigi simply speed past, sending Toad and the princess spinning.)

Mario: Sure makes you go faster when you have a cheering section!

Luigi: Yeah, just wish we could hear what cheer they were yelling!

Toadstool: Those two must have dust in their ears.

Toad: And we got trouble on are hands!

((Toad points and Princess Toadstool turns around to see Team Koopa closing in on them.)

Toadstool: *gulp*

Back to the Mario Bros., the plumbers are biking along when they see a restaraunt called "Pasta Pit".

Mario: Hey, it's the Pasta Pit Stop!

Luigi: But Mario! What about the race?

Mario: Don't worry, Luigi! It's in the bag!

(Cut to Toad and Princess Toadstool, who are wrapped up in the grip of a large Cobrat and in the clutches of King Koopa.)

Koopa: You're my prisoner, princess! And soon your pedal pushin' plumbers will be outta my hair!

Toadstool: Koopa, you're a disgusting, double-crossing meany!

Koopa: I try, my dear, I try.

(Back at the Pasta Pit Stop, the Mario Bros. leave the place and get back on the road.)

Mario: Ahh, that's what I call a meal!

Luigi: Now that's what I call ten meals.

(Suddenly, Team Koopa roars up from behind.)

Mouser: Slowpokes! Losers!

(Team Koopa passes the Bros. with such speed that the Mario Bros. tumble off their bike.)

Luigi: Uuuhhh...

Mario: They'll be sorry for this, Luigi! C'mon! Let's show 'em some smokin' spokes!

Luigi: You betcha!

(Mario starts off again, so quickly that Luigi has to hang on for dear life.)

Luigi: Yeowch!

(The race continues and goes up to a cliff where behind a boulder waits Team Koopa.)

Koopa: No one asked for a trap, better then a plumber! Prepare for...

(The Mario Bros. go up the hill to the cliff.)

Koopa: ... Operation: Smash 'em! ... Now!

(At that, Team Koopa go down the hill, straight at the Mario Bros.)

Mario: Hey! Where'd you learn how to ride a bike?

Luigi: They're tryin' to push us off the cliff!

(At that point, Mario hits a bump and the Bros. go off the side of the cliff.)

Mario Bros.: WWWWHHHOOOAAA!!!

Toad and Toadstool: *GASP*

Luigi: Marioooo! We're doomed!

Mario: Yaaa-aaaa-aaaa!

Luigi: M-m-mario! D-d-do something!

Mario: Relax, Luigi. Plumber's motto #12:

(Mario reaches into the little case on the bike handles and pulls out a plunger tied to a rope. The other end is probably attached to the bottom of the case.

Mario: Be ready for anything!

(Mario throws the plunger up at the boulder at the top of the cliff, and the plunger sticks, saving the Mario Bros.)

Luigi: Now I know why they call that a plumber's helper!

Mario: Hey, are we gonna just hang around here, or get back in the race?

(Mario begins pulling them up.)

Luigi: I thought hangin' around was the better choice.

(Back with Team Koopa...)

Mouser: Poor plumbers went POW!

Team Koopa: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

(Just then, the Mario Bros. bike past.)

Mario: Sorry we can't stay and chat with you goofs, but we got a race to win!

Mouser: Huh?

Troopa: Huh?

Tryclyde: Huh?

(Back with the princess, Toad, and Koopa...)

Toadstool: They're safe!

Koopa: WHAT?

Toad: She said, "They're safe."

Koopa: Not for long, fungus face! Phase two, featherheads! And hurry!

Mouser: It's turbo time!

Team Koopa blasts off like their bikes were jet-propelled.

(Cut to Princess Toadstool and Toad, still trapped in the now snoring Cobrat.)

Toad: This is terrible!

Toadstool: Yes, Mario and Luigi need our help!

Toad: I meant the snoring, it's driving me bonkers! Hey, that's it! Maybe we can squeeze outta this thing!

Toadstool: It's worth a try!

(With some difficulty, Princess Toadstool manages to pull herself out and then helps Toad out. Koopa and his Troopas don't notice.)

Toadstool: Now to help Mario and Luigi!

They leave, but as soon as they do, the Cobrat discovers that he's wrapped around nothing!

Cobrat: Akk! Koopa!

Koopa turns around to see that the princess and Toad have escaped!

Koopa: (while strangling Cobrat) Yikes! Get them, Troopas!

The Troopas give chase, but soon crash into each other.

Koopa: Ohh! You bumbling boobs!

(Koopa goes after the princess and Toad, making sure to step on the Troopas' heads. While Koopa chases Princess Toadstool and Toad, The Beach Boys' "Shut Down" plays. The princess grabs a bike and Toad hops into the basket.)

Toadstool: Hope you don't mind if we borrow your bike!

(Princess Toadstool and Toad go off and bike alongside a small cliff. Koopa runs on the cliff and jumps at them, only to miss. He lands on the ground with a CRASH.)

Koopa: Okay, that does it! You're all gonna be Koopatized!

(Cut to the Mario Bros., where Mario is combing his mustache. Luigi turns his head to see...)

Luigi: Mario! They're catchin' up!

Mario: Too bad.

(Mario reaches into his case and pulls out a jar.)

Mario: I was saving this for a real emergency, like spaghetti without tomato sauce!

Mario unscrews the jar and flings the contents at Team Koopa. They slip in the tomato sauce and crash.

Mario Bros.: Heh heh heh heh-huh?

(KA-BOOM! The Mario Bros. narrowly miss getting hit by a Bob-omb thrown by Mouser, but they get caught in the smoke.)

Mouser: Anybody up for a game of Hide and go Boom?

(Mouser flings another Bob-omb but Mario gets the bike to jump and the Bob-omb misses them.)

Luigi: Whoa, nice jumpin', Mario!

(Mouser, unfortunately, gets caught in the Bob-omb's smoke.)

Mouser: Whoa! *cough, cough*

(Next up it's Troopa, who uses a claw device to shoot a rock the size and shape of a basketball at the Mario Bros.)

Mario Bros.: Whoa!

(They duck, and the rock flies over them, landing up ahead on the road. It breaks into many sharp pieces. The Mario Bros. blow  raspberries. The Bros., of course, get two flat tires when they run over the rock shards.)

Luigi: What do we do now, call a tow truck?

Mouser: No, call an ambulance!

(Mouser bikes up, armed with another Bob-omb.)

Mario: Hey, no problem. It's two against one mouse!

(Troopa then bikes up, claw ready.)

Mario: Uh, o-okay, so now it's a fair fight.

(Then Triclyde bikes up.)

Mouser: Looks like you plumbers are plum out of luck.

Luigi: I th-thinked I liked it better when we outnumbered them!

(Suddenly the Mario Bros. start clapping their hands together, while Team Koopa stare at them oddly.)

Mario Bros.: Patty cake, patty cake, pasta man! Give us pasta power as quick as you can!

(Then the Bros. leap onto their bike and start kicking up a ton of dust.)

Team Koopa: *cough, cough, cough, cough*

(While Team Koopa fight off their coughing spell, Mario and Luigi run for their lives. They see a vegetable garden.)

Mario: Look, Luigi!

(Mario and Luigi race for the garden.)

Mario: C'mon Luigi! Let's squash those guys!

(Team Koopa, recovering from the dust, races after them.)

Mouser: *cough* After them! *cough, cough*

(Mario and Luigi pop out of the garden, armed with vegetables.)

Mario: Here, a zucchini for you!

(Mario flings said vegetable at Mouser, and it hits him dead-on, causing him to crash.)

Mouser: Wha-OUCH!

(The Mario Bros. continue their vegetable onslaught, this time aiming for Koopa Troopa and Triclyde.)

Luigi: We'll smother 'em in succatash!

Troopa and Triclyde: (getting hit with vegetables) Ooh, ouch, oh, ouch, ouch!

(Troopa and Triclyde crash. Team Koopa, beaten, battered, and bruised from the vegetables, limp away.)

Mouser: Ouch...

Mario: Hey, Team Koopa! You can at least going to say good-bye! (to Luigi) Looks like we in the bike race by default.

Luigi: It's not my fault.

(At that moment, Princess Toadstool pedals up with Toad.)

Toadstool: *huff* Guys! You've been tricked! This race was one of Koopa's traps!

Toad: The bill collector after my mushroom hide was just a phoney!

Luigi: You mean I risked my neck for nothing?

Mario: You mean I wasted my tomato sauce?!

(The Marios see King Koopa on another bike.)

Koopa: They'll be other crooked races! And other ways to cheat! YIPE!

(Koopa quickly pedals away to avoid the flung vegetables. The Marios give chase, throwing vegetables at him.)

Koopa: Ow! Hey, that hurt! Ouch!

Mario: Come back here, Koopa! Don't you know vegetables are good for you?!

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