Brooklyn Bound

Submitted by Hip

(The episode opens to Mario and Co walking through a snowy wasteland in the middle of a blizzard.)

Mario: (in his mind) Plumber's Log, 2-21. The Snow World. We were blue from the cold, and pale from hunger. Koopa Khan and his horde had been after us for days.

(The wind blows Luigi off his feet and away.)

Luigi: Woah! Mama Mia, I'm bein' totally blown away!

(The others get blown away after Luigi.)

Princess: Help!

Mario: Yikes! Leaping lasagna!

(The wind finally dies down and Mario, Princess and Toad get up. Luigi however has the upper half of his body stuck in the snow.)

Luigi: I've had it! I've had it! I'm sick of Koopa chasing us from world to world! I wanna go home!

Mario: This time I agree, Luigi!

(Mario pulls Luigi out of the snow.)

Mario: Freezing and fighting and fleeing from Koopa is losing its charm. I miss Brooklyn!

Princess: Mario! Why, you should've told me! If you're that homesick, we'll find some way to get you back to your own people!

Koopa: (off screen) The only place those faucet freaks will go...

(Everyone gasps and sees Koopa Khan in front of them. Koopa Khan is dressed in a thick red Oriental coat with a matching cap. He also sports a Fu Manchu. A few Snifits on Ostros that are wearing similar outfits, only theirs are brown, accompany him. )

Koopa: ...is straight to my dungeon!

(Toad spots an entrance to an underground cave behind the group.)

Toad: In here, quick!

(Mario and Co dash into the entrance and stop to catch their breaths.)

Koopa: After them you muddleheaded mongols!

(The Ostros run up to the entrance. It turns out the entrance was really just a dead end, leaving Mario and Co trapped.)

Toad: Sorry guys! Looks like were trapped!

Luigi: Huh?

(Luigi spots a lever, which he walks up to.)

Luigi: Hey, what's this thing?

Princess: Wait, that could be dangerous!

(Luigi pulls the lever and the floor below them starts crumbling away. As a result, the four of them fall down a shaft and shout.)

Koopa: Looks like those drips have finally taken the big drop!

(After a long fall, the group approaches a network of pipes.)

Mario: Look out below!

(Mario, Luigi and Princess each grab a hold of a pipe, while Toad grabs onto Mario.)

Mario: Wow! Some really great plumber has been working down here!

Voice: Not just really great, sonny! The greatest plumber in the world!

(A plumber, who looks a bit like Mario and is even wearing bright red overalls and a blue shirt, walks over to a spot below the others. His hair is white, indicating that he's quite a bit older than the Marios.)

Luigi: Mighty mostaccioli! Can this be true?

Mario: It's Salvador Drainado!

(Mario and Co drop down from the pipes.)

Toad: You know this dude?

Mario: Everybody in Brooklyn knows Sal! He's a plumber's plumber!

Luigi: The Duke of Drains! The Prince of Pipes! But he disappeared!

Sal: That's right, bambino! I've been lost in this crazy Mushroom Kingdom for thirteen years! But now, I finally found a way out!

(Sal pulls out a map of some pipes.)

Sal: This map leads to a drainpipe, that'll take me straight home to Brooklyn!

Mario: Brooklyn!

Luigi: Home sweet home!

(Mario and Luigi do a little dance and, in a thought bubble, dream of the American flag, a hotdog, pasta, pizza, the Statue of Liberty, and the Brooklyn Bridge.)

Luigi: Oh boy! Lead us to that drainpipe!

Sal: I can't lead you anywhere! Not until we get past that!

(The thought bubble disappears. Sal hits a pipe that's leading up to a wall with his wrench.)

Mario: Woah!

Luigi: I guess we stay in Mushroom Land.

Sal: You young kids give up too easy! If I had some help, I could finish piping in an underground river, and use the force of its water, to bust right through that wall!

Princess: You've got to help him so you can all get back to Brooklyn!

Mario: Why don't you and Toad come with us?

Princess: No, my people need me. But this is your big chance to go home, and I want you to take it!

Mario: Well...

Princess: I mean it, Mario. You've already helped me more than I deserve. Go home.

Sal: Enough talk; let's get to work!

(The Marios follow Sal to another area of the cavern. While no one is looking, a Shy Guy who's wearing an Oriental coat and cap jumps out from behind a pipe and laughs. Cut to above ground, where several Ostros are waiting around by Koopa's tent. Inside the tent is Koopa and his Snifits.)

Koopa: For courage beyond compare! For bravery beyond description! I praise this great hero, the superior fiend: Me. Koopa Khan the Magnificent!

(Koopa holds up a medal and the Snifits applaud him.)

Koopa: If I didn't deserve this, I wouldn't give it to me!

(Koopa puts the medal on around his neck. One of the Snifits runs up to Koopa with a piece of toast.)

Snifit: A toast to Koopa Khan!

(Koopa grabs the toast.)

Koopa: Yeah, a toast, to me. For getting rid of the Princess and her pals all in one fell swoop! Cheer me you clods!

(All of the Snifits hold up their toast slices and cheer as Koopa has a bite of toast.)

(The Shy Guy runs into the tent.)

Shy Guy: Your malignant meanness! I have terrible news! The Princess and the Mario Bros. have escaped!

Koopa: What?

Shy Guy: They're in the caverns!

Koopa: Koopa Pack, it's time to attack! To your ostriches!

(Everyone leaves the tent. Cut to the cavern, where the Marios are tightening a pipe with their wrenches.)

Mario: That should do it!

(The Marios look down a level at Sal.)

Luigi: Give her a try, Sal!

(Sal has his fingers crossed.)

Sal: Cross your fingers!

(Sal turns a valve, which causes water to start flowing through the pipe. Princess and Toad follow the pipe to the wall and watch as the water blasts away the wall. Princess starts to cheer.)

Princess: Yay! Bravo! Hip, hip, hooray! Yahoo! Way to go! Wahoo!

Mario: We did it! We did it!

Sal: Let's go find that drainpipe back to Brooklyn!

(The five of them continue down the path. Cut to above ground, where Koopa and the Snifits, all on Ostros, are heading towards the cave.)

Koopa: Last one into the cave is a goody-goody!

(Cut to an underground chasm with lava at the bottom. Mario and Co and Sal are walking across on a ledge.)

Princess: That's molten lava!

Mario: We fall into that, and we'll get a hotfoot all over!

(Luigi's teeth start to chatter, while the rest of him shivers.)

Toad: Don't look down!

Luigi: N-now you tell me!

Koopa: (off screen) Hey, drains for brains!

(The five of them stop, turn around, and see Koopa and his minions. They start running to the other side, but Koopa laughs and throws a Bob-omb onto the ledge. It blows up the entire ledge, causing all five of them to fall down the chasm.)

Koopa: Goodbye, and good riddance! *laugh*

Mario: Mamamia!

(Mario tries to get a grip on the wall, and slides down to a small ledge, where he is hanging on by his fingers.)

Mario: Luigi! Everybody! Grab hold!

(Luigi grabs onto Mario's legs and has Princess grab onto his legs while Toad grabs her legs and Sal grabs Toad's legs.)

Sal: Whatever you do, Mario, DON'T LET GO!

Mario: Can't-hold-on!

Princess: Yes you can, Mario! Think positive!

(The song "Danger Zone" starts up. Mario pulls himself up a bit and spots a Fire Flower positioned on the ledge.)

Mario: Better yet, I'll think magic Fire Flower!

(Mario attempts to grab the Fire Flower with one hand, but it's a bit too far.)

Koopa: You'll never reach it, faucet face! You and your friends are doomed!

Mario: Oh yeah? I'll show you!

(Mario reaches at the Fire Flower again, but he misses and almost loses his grip on the ledge with his other hand.)

Mario: Woah!

Princess, Toad, Luigi, and Sal: Don't let go!

Sal: That boiling lava could sure singe a man's suspenders!

Toad: Relax, Sal! You know what they say! Old plumbers never cry!

(Mario pulls himself up and reaches for the flower again.)

Mario: Just one-more-inch!

(Mario touches the Fire Flower and powers up to Super Mario.)

Mario: Ah, it's Koopa stomping time!

(Mario lets go of the ledge and flaps his arms. His power allows him to fly upwards towards the other side of the chasm, while his friends cheer him on.)

Koopa: Darn! You disgusting drain head!

(Mario reaches the edge opposite of Koopa and the others jump down.)

Princess: Yay Mario!

(Mario lands on the ledge.)

Koopa: Whoops! Time to Koopa out!

(Mario hurls some fireballs across the chasm towards Koopa and his minions, causing them to retreat.)

Koopa: You Snifit cowards! You yellow-bellies! Wait for your fearless leader! You'll pay for this, you pesky plumber! Yow!

(Koopa grabs his Ostro and gets dragged away.)

Mario: Oh yeah, Koopa? I'm sending you a bill!

(The song ends.)

Princess: Way to go, Mario!

Toad: You really socked it to those Snifits!

Sal: We're running out of time! Let's go find that drainpipe!

(Mario and Co follow Sal through a tunnel, which leads them to a large pipe with a door.)

Sal: There she is! The last drainpipe to Brooklyn! We step up onto that platform, open the valves, and we are Brooklyn bound!

(Mario's power wears off.)

Mario: I don't know, Luigi! I mean, who needs Brooklyn anyway?

Luigi: What do you mean "Who needs Brooklyn"?

Mario: All that traffic and stuff! Maybe we should stay and help the Princess!

Princess: No way, Mario! You belong back in your own land! I order you to go!

Sal: She's right! This is a one time only, one-way trip with no return ticket!

(The Marios turn around with sad faces, and face Princess, who sadly nods back at them.)

Mario: Well, so long.

Luigi: Been real nice knowin' you, Princess.

Princess: Goodbye guys, I'll miss you!

Toad: Don't go blabbin' it around, but she's not the only one.

(Princess gives Mario and Luigi each a hug. Cut to the chasm, where Koopa and his minions have returned but are unable to get across. Koopa paces back and forth in front of his minions.)

Koopa: You stupid, sniveling Snifits! Find a way across that chasm, and find it, now!

(Koopa kicks a stalagmite and bangs his foot.)

Koopa: Ow ow ow ow ow!

(The stalagmite breaks away from the ground and falls over towards the other side of the chasm, posing as a bridge.)

Snifit: I got an idea. Let's use that rock thing for a bridge!

(Koopa grabs the Snifit off of his Ostro.)

Koopa: That was my idea, you snug-faced simp!

(Koopa tosses the Snifit aside and mounts his Ostro.)

Koopa: Let's go! And don't spare the ostrich power!

(The Ostros run across the stalagmite. Cut to the warp pipe. The three plumbers are inside. Sal is working with the controls, while the Marios look out the door window.)

Luigi: You hear that? Brooklyn!

Sal: Hang on! Any second now we'll be back in Flatbush!

(Outside the pipe, Princess is holding a tissue to her eye.)

Princess: Goodbye Mario! Goodbye Luigi! Thanks for trying to save my kingdom!

Mario: So long, Princess! So long, Toad!

Luigi: Take care of yourselves, eh?

(Princess and Toad are suddenly lassoed by Koopa, who laughs and pulls them towards himself.)

Koopa: Don't worry, plumber boys! I'll take care of them!

Mario: Oh no!

Luigi: They've been Koopanapped!

Koopa: Goodbye, jerkos! And don't come back!

(Koopa gives them the peace sign and rides off with his minions.)

Toad: No!

Mario: I can't do it! I can't leave the princess in a jam!

Sal: But this is it! This is your last chance to go home!

(Mario gets out of the pipe.)

Luigi: Mario's right. The princess and Toad need us! So long, Sal!

(Luigi gets out.)

Sal: Good luck, guys! Look me up if you ever get back to Brooklyn!

(Sal closes the door.)

Luigi: Hey, thank you, Sal!

(The platform Sal is standing on is blasted up through the pipe by a blast of water.)

Sal: I did it! I did it!

(Cut to the room of pipes. Koopa and his minions are walking through with Princess and Toad.)

Princess: You'll never get away with this!

Koopa: Oh yeah? And who's gonna stop me? Your plumber pals ran out on ya, remember?

Mario: (off screen) Wrong again, lizard breath!

(Koopa looks up and sees the Marios standing on a pipe.)

Luigi: I thought we were gonna sneak up on 'em, Mario!

Mario: I forgot!

Princess: Mario!

Toad: Luigi!

Koopa: Snifits! Smash them!

Mario and Luigi: Patty cake! Patty cake! Pasta man! Give me pasta power as fast as you can!

(The Marios do their little routine and jump from pipe to pipe, turning on all the valves. Water comes flowing out of a pipe, which washes away the Snifits and their Ostros.)

Koopa: You sniveling Snifits! This is no time to sneak out! Wait, I'll get you! Woah!

(A wave hits Koopa and washes him away.)

Mario: Too bad, Koopa! Looks like a total washout!

Koopa: I hate plumbers! I hate 'em! I hate 'em! I hate 'em!

(After the water has stopped, the Marios untie Princess and Toad. Princess gives each of the brothers a hug and a kiss.)

Princess: Mario! Luigi! You came back!

Toad: Yuck! Mushy stuff!

Luigi: Holy ravioli, Mario! You didn't say nothing about getting kissed!

Mario: All part of being a hero, Luigi!

(Mario winks to the camera and gives a thumbs up.)

The End

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