(The episode opens to a pirate ship sailing across an ocean.)

Mario: (in his mind) Plumber's Log, Number 6-97. Pirate waters, in a pirate world. On our way back to Princess Toadstool's castle, we hired on as deckhands on the only ship willing to sail these dark and treacherous waters.

(The Marios are peeling potatoes on the deck.)

Voice: Avast arr me buckos!

(A pirate captain by the name of Captain Clump walks up to them. Clump has a hook for a hand, an eye patch, and a large peg leg. On his shoulder rests Patches the parrot, who also has an eye patch and a peg leg. The Marios stop peeling and look up at Clump, who picks up a potato string.)

Clump: I told you to peel those potatoes, not to turn 'em into strings!

Mario: We're making spotatoghetti, sir!

(Toad, who is swabbing the deck, walks by Clump and accidentally hits him with the mop.)

Toad: Oops! Sorry, Captain Clump!

Clump: Watch it, ya mush-headed matey! Why did I ever let YOU dinghies man my ship?

Luigi: Yeah, why did ya?

Clump: My real crew deserted. Every sailor in the Caribbean is scared to death of Blackbeard Koopa!

Luigi: Did you say Blackbeard Koopa?

Clump: Aye. He's the plug ugliest pirate who ever scuttled a ship and stole a treasure!

Toad: Great. And we thought a nice boat trip would keep us safe from Koopa.

Clump: No one's safe from Blackbeard Koopa, matey! No one.

(Clump looks through a telescope. Luigi pulls out a telescope and looks through it too. Princess enters carrying a tray of food.)

Princess: Great time for a snack, everyone! Except for the storm coming.

(Princess looks up.)

Luigi: Storm? What storm? There's not a cloud in-

(Rain starts to fall.)

Luigi: -the sky.

(Clouds surround the ship and everyone starts to panic. Mario cuts out a door in the clouds with a knife and looks through it.)

Luigi: What do you see, Mario?

Mario: I see we should've stayed in Brooklyn!

(The others look through the window, except for Toad, who's too short to get a good view, until he jumps onto Princess' shoulder. Everyone a skull and crossbones flag behind some clouds.)

Clump: Blackbeard Koopa's flag!

Toad: And Blackbeard Koopa's pirate ship!

(The clouds drift away and reveal a much larger pirate ship right next to Clump's. On the deck is Koopa, who's wearing an overcoat, clogs, and a pirate hat with a feather. The minions are all dressed like pirates, with bandanas, sword belts, and a few with eye patches.

Koopa: And Blackbeard Koopa himself! *laugh* Well, well, well! Look what the tide washed up! The muttonhead Marios and that miserable little Mushroom. Ah, and the Princess, what perfect plunder for a pirate! *laugh* I gotcha now you stupid jellyfish! Surrender!

(Clump is holding a wooden sword.)

Clump: Surrender to a black-hearted scoundrel like you? Never!

Luigi: Maybe we should take a vote on that, Captain!

Koopa: Fire a warning shot! On second thought, blow the plumber boys and the princess right off the boat!

(Two Troopas load a Bob-omb into a cannon and fire it at Clump's ship next to Mario, who picks up a wooden sword.)

Mario: Bob-ombs away! That way!

(Mario hits the Bob-omb with the sword and it goes flying into Koopa.)

Koopa: That wasn't very nice, you puny plumber! You thought you could dupe the Koop, did ya? *laugh*

(The Bob-omb starts squirming in Koopa's hand.)

Koopa: What do you want?

(The Bob-omb blows up in Koopa's face.)

Toad: *laugh* You blew that one, Koopa stoopa!

Koopa: Oh yeah, ya mangy little Mushroom? He who laughs last, laughs best! *laugh* Koopa Pirate Pack, attack!

(Some more Bob-ombs are fired onto Clump's ship and blow up. A couple of Troopas, a Goomba, and more Bob-ombs land on the ship. Mario tosses some Bob-ombs over and rolls one down the deck like a bowling ball, hitting two Troopas and the Goomba. Another Bob-omb goes after Luigi, who places a barrel over it and sits on the barrel. The Bob-omb explodes, sending Luigi and the barrel into the air. Luigi lands on the deck and the barrel lands on him. Some Troopas try to hit Mario with their swords, but Mario jumps on top of them. One of the Bob-ombs explodes and sends Patches into the crow's nest. A Troopa goes after Princess, who jumps on him and throws him in the water.)

Princess: Go soak your head, you silly Troopa!

(Some more Bob-ombs explode, creating a large cloud of smoke. When it fades away, two Troopas are holding Princess on Koopa's ship.

Princess: Hey! Let go of me, you rotten reptile! Help! You promised not to harm my friends if I came willingly!

Koopa: Would Blackbeard Koopa lie?

(Koopa winks at the camera.)

Koopa: Besides, you didn't come willingly!

(Koopa's ship sails off. Meanwhile, the Marios, Toad, and Clump have been tied to the mast of Clump's ship.)

Clump: Koopa gives pirates a bad name!

Mario: We gotta do something!

Luigi: Hey, we could sing! (starts singing) A hundred bottles of milk on the wall. A hundred bottles of milk. If one of the bottles should happen to fall, ninety-nine bottles of milk on the wall.

(While Luigi sings, Clump tries desperately to get free from the rope.)

(Cut to a seaport at dusk, which Koopa's ship is approaching. Fireworks are going off in the sky.)

Koopa: It's pirate party time!

Princess: I'm really not dressed for the occasion. I left my best gown back in the castle!

Koopa: Nonsense, my dear! The party's in your honor! I'm selling you to the pirate who can steal me the most gold coins! *laugh*

(Cut to Clump's ship, which is sinking. Everyone is still trying to get free from the mast when a wave hits them.)

Luigi: Leaping linguini! That's a high sea!

Mario: Nope, it's a low ship! We're sinking!

Clump: Shiver me timbers! Blackbeard Koopa drilled me bow full of holes! That rat! I'll make him walk the plank for this! That's if we don't end up as fish food first!

(A school of hungry Trouters are circling the ship.)

Luigi: Macaroni misery, Mario! We're sunk!

Mario: Sinking isn't sunk, Luigi! Woah!

(More waters splashes on the group and Toad spits some of it out.)

Toad: Are we sunk now?

Mario: Not if we jump!

Clump: Ya lost your landlubbin' mind? We're tied to the mast!

(Mario tries pushing himself up with his legs.)

Mario: Yo ho!

(Mario moves everyone up a little bit.)

Luigi: Leapin' lasagna, it worked! Come on, let's get jumpin'!

Mario, Luigi, Clump, and Toad: Yo ho! Yo ho! Yo ho!

(The group pushes their way up the mast.)

Toad: Once more, gang!

Mario, Luigi, Clump, and Toad: Yo ho! Yo ho!

(The four of them bang their heads on the crow's nest and see stars. Patches jumps out of the crow's nest and hits his head, causing him to see stars too. A Trouter jumps up at Mario and starts gnawing on his foot.)

Mario: Quick, Patches! Give me one of those Starmen before these Trouters filet our souls!

(Patches grabs one of the stars, which is actually a Starman, and throws it into Mario's hand.)

Mario: Starman! Star bright! Give me Starman pasta power! Give me pasta might!

(Mario uses the Starman to power up to Super Mario.)

Mario: Faster than a vanishing clog! More powerful than an electric drain snake! It's Super Mario!

(Marios breaks through the rope, but Luigi, Toad, and Clump fall in the water.)

Luigi: Creeping calamari!

(Mario jumps on top of the Trouters.)

Mario: Get lost, Trouters!

Luigi: Way to go, Mario!

(Everyone climbs into the crow's nest.)

Mario: Excuse me, Captain, but we're gonna have to cast off!

(Mario cuts away at the mast with a sword, turning the crow's nest into a makeshift boat.)

Mario: She's not much, but she sure beats swimming!

(Everyone cheers.)

(Cut to the seaport at night. Inside a fortress-like atrium is a crowd of Troopas and Goombas. Koopa is standing on a balcony, with Princess in a cage next to him.)

Koopa: But everyone is here in your honor, my precious Princess!

Princess: Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't fit in with this kind of crowd!

Koopa: *laugh* These scurvy scoundrels won't care!

Princess: You're disgusting, Koopa! Mean, cruel-hearted, vicious, and uncivilized!

Koopa: Aren't I though? But enough of this sweet talk!

(Koopa turns his attention to the crowd.)

Koopa: Listen close, you repulsive wretches! It's time to play, Auction the Princess!

(The crowd cheers.)

Koopa: Do I hear one thousand gold coins? Remember, the money goes to my favorite charity: Me! *laugh*

(Cut to the crow's nest, which is now approaching the seaport. Clump is looking through a telescope while the Marios are rowing with plungers.)

Clump: Thar she be, Pirates Port!

(Mario jump onto Clump's shoulders, looks through the telescope, and sees Koopa's flag.)

Mario: Time to save the princess, from that stoopa Koopa, while I'm supa! Uh oh!

(Mario's power wears off and he falls off of Clump.)

Luigi: Now how do we save her? We got no ship, no cannons, no weapons! We got three men, one Mushroom, and a parrot against their five hundred!

Toad: We can't beat 'em, Mario!

Mario: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, then beat 'em!

(Cut to the seaport, where the Marios, Toad, and Clump have arrived.)

Toad: You sure about this?

(Mario jumps out from behind a crate, dressed like a pirate.)

Mario: Sure as spumoni! Don't you recognize Captain Kidder? And, Long John Spaghetti!

(Mario pulls Luigi, who's wearing a fake peg leg and a wig, out from behind the crate.)

Clump: *laugh* Ah-ah, sure mates, sure! You're-you're-you're-you're mean lookin' barnacles!

Toad: This'll never work!

(Two Troopas are guarding the entrance to the atrium.)

Mario: Avast! Back off buckswashlers! Make room for the baddest pirates in the Caribbean!

(The four of them walk past the Troopas.)

Mario: Easy as pizza pie!

(The four of them enter the atrium, with no one paying attention to them.)

Mario: See if you can sneak up to the princess!

(Toad and Clump walk off.)

Koopa: Sink another ship! Raid another port! *laugh* This princess is worth more than that measly bit!

(The crowd cheers.)

Mario: Remember, Luigi, you gotta act tough!

(The Marios walk up to the bar.)

Luigi: I'll take a milk!

(Some minions look at Luigi.)

Mario: In a dirty glass!

Koopa: Do I hear a million gold coins for this fair maiden of the sea?

Luigi: I bid a billion!

(Everyone looks at Luigi.)

Koopa: A billion? Sold to the puny pirate with the hideous hair, for a billion gold coins!

(Some minions pick up the Marios and cheer. Toad and Clump enter the room behind the balcony. Koopa is too busy throwing coins off the balcony to notice them.)

Koopa: I'm rich! Rich! Filthy, stinking, mouthwatering rich!

(Toad sneaks up to the cage, pulls off the lock, and opens it. The door of the cage hits Koopa and knocks him off of the balcony. He lands on some minions.)

Luigi: Holy macaroni!

(The Marios fall down and their disguises fall off. Luigi gasps.)

Koopa: You! You miserable Mario Bros!

(Princess, Toad, and Clump cheer. They jump off of the balcony, landing on top of a Goomba, a Troopa, and Koopa himself.)

Princess: Take that, you black-hearted pirate!

Clump: Run matey, run!

(The song "Limbo Rock" starts up. Mario grabs Luigi and runs off.)

Koopa: Don't just stand there, you pathetic dunderheads! Let's get 'em!

(Koopa and the Troopas chase everyone out of the atrium. Mario and Co and Clump board Koopa's ship. Toad fires a Bob-omb out of a cannon and it explodes in front of some Troopas. Koopa runs up to the ship and begins swashbuckling with Toad. Koopa's real sword ends up cutting Toad's wooden one. Clump trips some Troopas with his peg leg. Princess tries to climb some rigging, but some Troopas try to stop her, so she kicks them aside. Koopa goes after Princess, but Mario swings down on a rope, knocks over Koopa, and grabs Princess. Clump is trying to avoid a Bob-omb, but Patches grabs it and drops it in the water. Mario and Co and Clump have positioned Koopa into the rigging, pull back, and launch him away like a slingshot. The song ends.)

Koopa: Woah! I'll be back to sink you!

(Koopa lands in the water.)

Princess: We sure sent Blackbeard Koopa sailing!

(The five of them laugh as the skull and crossbones flag is replaced with a mushroom flag.)

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