(The episode opens to Mario and Co in an Arabian-like desert. Luigi, Princess, and Toad are riding on a camel, and Mario is walking the camel with a lead.)

Mario: (in his mind) Plumber's Log, Number 4-37. We arrived in a dry and deadly desert, on a lumpy camel. We were in search of the legendary Aladdin's Lamp. Princess Toadstool needed its magic to free her people from King Koopa's evil clutches.

(Luigi wipes his forehead.)

Luigi: Mamamia! We shoulda rented a camel with air conditioning!

(Mario pants and starts crawling.)

Mario: Water! Water! I'll even settle for some meatsauce!

(Mario spots something and gets up.)

Mario: Hey, a waterfall!

(Mario runs up to a waterfall and lets the water pour all over him.)

Mario: Ah, a nice, cool shower!

(The waterfall fades away, and in reality, reveals the camel licking Mario's cheek.)

Mario: Yuck! Camel slobber!

Luigi: Mario! It's a mirage! The sun's hardboiled your brain!

(Everyone begins to see mirages of oversized refreshments like a watermelon slice, a water cooler, an ice cream cone, and a fountain drink.)

Princess: Guys, control yourselves! We've got to ignore all these mirages or we'll never find Aladdin's Lamp!

Toad: Too bad we gotta ignore that swimming pool!

(Toad points a swimming pool.)

Princess: A swimming pool? Where? Whoopee!

Toad: Last one in is a rotten fungus!

(The four of them run over to the swimming pool, climb the diving board, and jump in. As they jump, Mario realizes that the surface of the water is actually a blue trampoline.)

Mario: It's a trap!

Luigi: No, it's a trap-oline!

(The trampoline bounces the four of them into the air, all the way over to a desert palace.)

Princess: Woah! No!

(The roof of one of the palace's towers flips open.)

Princess: It's a palace, with a flip top roof!

(Inside the palace, the sultan, who is sitting on his throne, currently eating a banana, is aware of what's going on.)

Sultan: Ah, it appears I have visitors dropping in!

(The Marios land in vases, Toad lands in a bowl of fruit, and Princess lands on some pillows.)

Sultan: Splendid! Once again my fake swimming pool trick worked!

(Mario, Toad, and Princess get up and look around, but Luigi is stuck in the vase.)

Princess: Where are we? And who are you?

Sultan: My dear, I am the magnificent Sultan Pasbah! This is my luxurious palace, where you and your companions will be my miserable slaves forever!

(The sultan's servant nods his head and drops a bowl of fruit.)

Mario: That's a generous offer, Pas ol' pal, but we'll pass!

(Luigi, who still has the upper half of his body stuck in the vase, runs to the exit with Mario, Princess, and Toad. A big, imposing guard walks up to the entrance, and the four of them crash into him, breaking the vase in the process.)

Sultan: Guard, throw them in the slave quarters, but bring me the pretty one!

Toad: I guess he means her!

(The sultan opens a small chest and shows Princess some jewels.)

Sultan: These priceless jewels are yours, when you join my harem!

Princess: Me? Join a harem? Oh, give me a break! Harems are from the stupid, olden days!

Sultan: I LIKE THE STUPID, OLDEN DAYS! Besides, you have no choice! *laugh*

(The guard then escorts the Marios and Toad through the palace with his spear, which he pokes Toad with.)

Toad: YOW! Lay off bud! I get your- YOW! -point!

(The pass by a room full of treasure, in the middle of which is an oil lamp.)

Luigi: Look at that loot! Diamonds, gold, rubies! It must be worth over a hundred bucks!

Mario: We've lucked out, Luigi! Feast your eyes on Aladdin's Lamp! When the guard falls asleep we'll swipe it, and use its magic to escape and free the princess!

(Later, the Marios and Toad enter the treasure room. Mario is standing in front of the lamp, which is protected in a glass case.)

Mario: It's pretty thick glass, but this baby has cut through some pretty tough pizzas!

(Mario cuts a hole in the glass with a pizza cutter and grabs the lamp.)

Luigi: So what's all the magic mumbo jumbo about that lamp? Now what do you do? Pull a rabbit out of it?

Mario: Come on, Luigi! Don't you know the legend of Aladdin? There's a powerful genie inside, and he can-

Toad: Stop flappin' your lips, someone's coming!

(The three of them hide behind some treasure as the servant runs past the room.)

Servant: Sire! Sire!

(The servant enters the throne room.)

Servant: Sire, the princess is impossible! She refuses to wear the harem veils and roller skates!

Sultan: No matter! I'm tired of the wench! I already placed an ad in the Harem Recycler, offering her to the highest bidder!

(The sultan takes a bite out of a bun.)

Servant: You're selling the princess?

(The Marios and Toad poke their heads around the entrance.)

Mario: Quick, we gotta find a safe place to make this lamp work!

(The Marios run outside onto a balcony, while Toad stands on guard.)

Luigi: Mario, don't try to kid me! How could a genie be in that lamp?

Mario: See for yourself! All I gotta do is rub it!

(Mario rubs the lamp, which begins to shake. He drops it and it starts spewing out a cloud of smoke, along with the upper half of a grouchy, female genie.)

Genie: Yow! You got some nerve! What're you bothering me for? This better be important!

Luigi: Are you really magic? I mean, really magic? Are you a genie?

(The genie tries to get her legs out of the lamp.)

Genie: Hey, stupid, what else could I be? Cooped up in this cramped lamp! YOW!

Luigi: Hey, looks like you rubbed her the wrong way!

(The genie manages to get her whole body out of the lamp, with the exception of one of her feet.)

Genie: Terrific! The lousy lamp's stuck on my foot! I hope you're satisfied!

Mario: Didn't mean to bother you, ma'am! But we need your magic to-

(Toad runs up to the genie.)

Genie: *screams* There's a fungus among us!

Toad: Your genie better have some super magic! Some creep just arrived to buy the princess! A creep named King Koopa!

(The Marios and the genie gasp, and they run off. Cut to the throne room, where Koopa is with Princess, the sultan, and the servant.)

Koopa: I'll give ya three urns of dried dates for her! That's my final offer!

Sultan: I won't take less than fifty full urns of chopped chicken liver!

(The Marios, Toad, and the genie are by a window outside the throne room.)

Mario: Oh, mighty genie of the lamp! More beautiful than baked lasagna! More desirable than pepperoni! I humbly beg you to save the princess!

Genie: Stop whining! I'll see what I can do! I'll cast a magic spell!

(The genie casts some black stink waves out of her hands into the throne room and everyone covers their nose.)

Koopa: PU!

Sultan: What's that awful odor?

Mario: Yuck! You made a magic smell!

Genie: So I goofed! Well, you don't have to make a stink over it, ya know!

Toad: Oh no! Koopa flew the Koop!

(Toad points into the air, at a cross between a flying carpet and a Cadillac convertible, complete with a Cobrat hood ornament. Koopa is driving, with Princess in the passenger seat.)

Princess: Help!

Koopa: You're mine, Princess! All mine! *laugh*

(The carpet flies away from the palace.)

Koopa: Prepare yourself, for a long, torturous journey, Princess!

Princess: Where are you taking me?

Koopa: Far, far away! Where your budinski buddies can never save you!

(The Marios, Toad, and the genie are running through the desert after Koopa's carpet.)

Luigi: Koopa's getting away! We'll never catch him on foot!

(They stop.)

Mario: We need your hocus pocus! Can you make us fly?

Genie: Fly? Do you know what a drain that is on me?

Luigi: No problem! Any drain you got, we can fix! We're plumbers!

Mario: Tell you what, you make us fly, and I'll grease your palm with a gold coin!

Genie: Now you're talking! Eenie-meenie-miney-mo! Make 'em fly, I need the dough!

(The genie zaps the Marios and Toad. The three of them fly upwards, out of control.)

Genie: How did I do that?

(The three of them then fall down and land on the genie.)

Toad: I got an idea! Let's check out one of those used flying carpet lots!

(Later, Mario is driving another flying carpet with the others. Their carpet, which resembles an old jalopy, is chuffing along slowly, leaving behind clouds of smoke.)

Toad: Talk about economy class!

Mario: I think I see Koopa's carpet, way over there!

Luigi: Oh boy! Full speed ahead!

(The song "Magic Carpet Ride" starts up. The carpet speeds ahead and the genie feels a bump.)

Genie: Watch it! Where'd you learn how to drive, huh?

(Cut to Koopa's carpet.)

Princess: You'll never get away with this!

Koopa: Au contraire! My evil scheme is right on schedule! Soon we'll be flying over some nasty quicksand! *laugh* And that's where I'll bid you, adieu!

(Cut to Mario's carpet, which does a corkscrew in the air.)

Genie: Not so fast! Not so bumpy! And not so high!

(The smoke causes the genie to cough.)

Toad: I don't know what's worse! The backseat driver, or the front seat driver!

Mario: There's Koopa, up in the clouds! We'll sneak up on him!

Luigi: Yeah, but if Koopa sees us, we're goners!

Mario: He won't see us, I've got a Koopa-proof plan! Toad, start shaking the carpet!

(The song ends. Toad jumps up and down, creating a huge cloud of dust, which surrounds the whole carpet and causes everyone to cough and sneeze. The carpet, now disguised as a cloud, flies right behind Koopa's carpet. The genie sneezes, causing the cloud to disappear, and Koopa looks around.)

Koopa: What was that?

(Princess pretends to sneeze.)

Princess: Oh, it was just me! *achoo* Uh, I guess this high altitude is, uh, giving me a teeny cold!

(Koopa checks the rear view mirror and sees Mario's carpet.)

Koopa: If the altitude's bothering you, I can take care of that, pronto!

(Koopa flies over a quicksand pit.)

Koopa: This is where you get off!

(Koopa pulls a lever, and a trapdoor opens underneath Princess, causing her to fall into the quicksand and slowly sink.)

Princess: *gasp* Oh no! Quicksand!

Koopa: *laugh* She can't save her kingdom from there! Now to pull the rug out from under those Marios!

(Koopa flies above Mario's carpet, which is now covered in another cloud of dust. A vacuum extends down from Koopa's carpet and sucks up the dust.)

Koopa: Gotcha!

Mario: Koopa! Where's the princess?

Koopa: She's playing in the sand!

(Princess is now up to her chest in quicksand.)

Princess: *gasp* Help! Help!

Mario: (yelling) We'll save you!

(Mario heads towards Princess.)

Koopa: Oh no you won't!

(Koopa picks up a portable phone.)

Koopa: Hello? Pidget Express? This is King Koopa! Send me a dozen Pidgets, pronto! *hangs up* Don't know what I'd do without my carpet phone! *laugh*

(Princess is now up to her shoulders in quicksand.)

Princess: Help! Help! Help!

Luigi: Woah!

Genie: Not so fast! Not so low!

Luigi: (yelling) We're coming, Princess! Keep your chin up!

(Mario flies ever to Princess, and Luigi helps her into the carpet.)

Princess: Thanks, guys! That sand was the pits!

(The Pidgets arrive, and are flying directly at the group's carpet.)

Toad: Pidgets!

(The Pidgets start munching on the carpet.)

Genie: I've had enough! This is where I get off!

(The genie goes back into the lamp, which flies off.)

Mario: It's no use! Pidgets' favorite food is carpeting!

Luigi: Hey, I just remembered! I speak Pidget!

(Luigi grabs a Pidget.)

Luigi: Pidget! Pidget! Pidget! Pidget! Pidget!

Pidget 1: Pidget? Pidget!

(Pidget 1 flies back to the others.)

Pidget 1: Pidget! Pidget! Pidget! Pidget!

Pidgets: Pidget! Pidget! Pidget! Pidget! Pidget! Pidget!

Toad: What'd you tell him?

Luigi: I told him, if he wants really yummy carpet, to head for Koopa!

(Toad laughs as the Pidgets fly over to Koopa's carpet and begin munching on it. Koopa bats the Pidgets off with his hands.)

Koopa: Stop! Stop! You stupid Pidgets!

(Mario and Co laugh as the Pidgets chase Koopa.)

Koopa: I'll get you for this, you pesky plumbers! A Koopa never forgets!

(The lamp lands on Koopa's carpet and the genie pops her head out.)

Genie: Watch where you're driving! Too fast! Oh, too slow! I'm gonna make your life miserable, you reckless reptile!

Mario: They really deserve each other! Where next, Princess?

Princess: How 'bout a carpet cleaner?

(Mario and Co laugh as they fly off.)

(The episode opens to Mario dusting the coffee table and Luigi sitting on the couch.)

Mario: Will you believe Lyle Alzado's coming over here for lunch?

Luigi: Yeah, it's gonna be great!

(The phone rings.)

Mario: I'll get it!

Luigi: You get it!

(Mario walks over to the phone and answers it.)

Mario: Hello, Mario Bros. Plumbing! You clog 'em, we clear 'em! Hello? Yes? Hey, Marianne!

(Luigi waves his arms frantically.)

Mario: It's Marianne and Luigeena!

Luigi: Hang up!

Mario: Yes, Marianne! Guess what? Yeah, yeah, Lyle Alzado, he's coming over here!

Luigi: No!

Mario: That's right, I'm serious!

(Luigi throws a pillow at Mario.)

Mario: Yeah, we fixed up his kitchen sink this morning!

(Luigi throws another pillow.)

Mario: Yeah, that's right! So, we invited him over here for lunch! Marianne? Hello?

(Mario hangs up.)

Luigi: You numbskull! You rolly-poly! You stunad! What's the matter with you telling, telling them that Lyle Alzado's coming over? You know Luigeena and Marianne are nuts about this guy!

Mario: But I forgot!

Luigi: Alright. Okay, okay okay. You forgot. Okay, look. The only thing we can do now is make sure that we keep them out of muscle touching range, alright?

Mario: I hate to leave, but we've gotta go out and get some refreshments!

Luigi: Hold on, well give me the list!

(Mario looks in the fridge, and Luigi pulls out a pad of paper and a pencil.)

Mario: Two pounds of grapes!

Luigi: Two pounds grapes.

Mario: Two pounds of-a figs!

Luigi: Two pounds figs.

Mario: Four dozen tangerines!

Luigi: Four dozen tangerines?

Mario: For that Lyle, he's a big guy!

Luigi: You're right! Let's hope he doesn't show up early. But more importantly, let's hope our stupid cousins don't show up! Come on!

Mario: Go!

(The Marios exit through the other door.)

Luigi: Close the door, huh?

Mario: Okay, I gotcha covered!

(Mario closes the door, just as Lyle Alzado enters through the front door.)

Lyle: Mario? Luigi? You're here?

(Lyle walks down the stairs.)

Lyle: Well, I know I'm a little early. Maybe they just probably went to get some refreshments, and I'll just make myself at home!

(Lyle sits down on the couch. Suddenly, Marianne and Luigeena enter through the front door. Marianne and Luigeena resemble Mario and Luigi, only they have girlish figures, long hair, and wear dresses. They gasp when they see Lyle.)

Luigeena: It's him!

(The cousins walk down the stairs.)

Marianne: Ooh! I recognized those muscular shoulders! That muscular neck! And that muscular hair anywhere!

Marianne and Luigeena: Oooh Lyle! Oooh!

(The cousins walk over to Lyle.)

Lyle: Mario and Luigi?

Marianne: No no no no no no no! We're not Mario and Luigi! We're-a Luigeena and Marianne! We're the cousins!

Luigeena: Yes! Don't we look-a just like them? Everybody tells us so!

Lyle: What you look like is the Looney Toons! I'm outta here!

(Lyle tries to get up, but the cousins hold him down.)

Marianne: We'll go find Mario and Luigi for you! Just a minute! Hey, Luigeena! Hit the road!

Luigeena: Wait a minute! How come I always get-a the dirty work, huh? I'll see you later, Lyzie!

(Luigeena tosses a rose into Lyle's lap and leaves. Marianne sits down next to Lyle.)

Marianne: Tell me all about yourself, Lylzie wylzie! So cute!

(Marianne hugs Lyle. She then puts her legs on top of Lyle's.)

Lyle: Your foot is sort of on my leg!

Marianne: Tell me something I don't know, Lyle, you big, handsome hunk!

Lyle: It's smelly!

(Luigi enters through the other door, gasps, and runs over to the couch.)

Luigi: Sorry! Lyle! Oh geez! Ya got here early, huh?

Lyle: Luckily you're not too late!

(Luigi and Lyle chuckle.)

Luigi: And Marianne, good to see ya! (under his breath) Get lost!

(Lyle gets off the couch.)

Lyle: Luigi, can I talk to you?

Luigi: Sure.

Lyle: What is goin' on here?

Luigi: Oh, Lyle! I'm sorry! Mario and I went for refreshments! I got back as soon as I could!

Lyle: Yeah, well I met your cousin!

Luigi: Yeah, I know! Sorry about that!

Marianne: Luigieena went to look for Mario and you! I'm startin' to get worried! I'd better go look for them!

(Marianne runs over to the stairs.)

Luigi: Oh, good idea, Marianne! And while you're out there, check out Alaska!

Marianne: Lyle! Don't forget tonight about the dancing!

Luigi and Lyle: Dancing?

(Marianne leaves through the front door. Mario enters through the other door, holding a bag of groceries.)

Mario: Hey, Lyle! Woah! I can't believe it! The guy's a legend! Hey Lyle! Good to see ya!

Lyle: Well, it's nice to see you in pants!

Luigi: Yo, Mario! Marianne and Luigeena were all over this poor guy! I got here just in time!

Mario: Could you please excuse my dumb cousins, Lyle?

(Marianne and Luigeena are now at the top of the stairs.)

Marianne: You-who! Lyle!

Luigeena: Lyzie! We have to say goodbye!

Lyle: Goodbye? I thought you wanted to go dancing?

Marianne: Oh no, we just spotted Mel Gibson, and we're gonna track him home!

(The cousins giggle and leave.)

Luigi: *whew* Lucky break, huh Lyle? Hey!

Lyle: Mel Gibson.

Mario: Hey, what's wrong?

Lyle: Kinda lookin' forward to goin' dancing! The nerve of that Mel Gibson takin' my girls!

(The Marios giggle.)

Luigi: You're such a kidder, Lyle! Ha ha!

(Luigi gently punches Lyle's arms, but he hurts his hand.)

Luigi: Woah!

Luigeena: 'Til next time everybody-

Marianne, Luigeena, and Lyle: Do the Mario!

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