(The episode opens in a desert. The Marios are riding a camel, while Princess and Toad are on another one.)
Mario: (in his mind) Plumber's Log, Number 1000 BC. We've arrived in Pyramid Land, where we heard the Mushroom people were in real trouble. King Koopa had appointed himself pharaoh, and was forcing everyone to live by a set of evil laws.
(They ride up to two stone tablets with hieroglyphics written on them.)
Princess: Look, it's Koopa's Ten Koopmandments!
Toad: Koopmandment Number One: Thou shall give Koop Tut all your gold coins!
Luigi: Koopmandment Number Two: Thou shall hire no plumbers!
Mario: Mamamia, look at Koopmandment Number Six: Thou shall eat no pasta! This time, the crummy Koopa's gone too far!
Princess: Come on, we've gotta free the Mushroom people from Koopa's terrible Koopmandments!
(Cut to a deserted village.)
Mario: (in his mind) But when we reached the Mushroom village, it was even worse than we expected!
(Mario and Co arrive in the village.)
Luigi: This place is emptier than a flushed drainpipe!
Toad: Looks like all the Mushroom people vanished!
Princess: Not all of them!
(Princess points to three Mushroomers, whose hats bear a resemblance to The Three Stooges' hairstyles. The three of them walk up to Mario and Co.)
Mushrooms: Welcome! We're The Three Mushrooms!
Curly: Curly!
Larry: Larry!
Momah: And Momah!
Princess: Where are the other villagers?
Curly: Oh, Pharaoh Koop Tut Mushroomnapped them!
Larry: And turned them into bricks!
Momah: I'll do the talking, fungus brains!
(Momah bangs Curly and Larry's heads together.)
Curly and Larry: Ow ow ow ow ow!
Toad: I wonder what that no-goodnik Koopa is up to now!
Mario: Whatever it is, you can bet it's something diabolical, sinister, and not very nice!
(Cut to elsewhere in Pyramid Land, where a Koopa-like Sphinx is under construction.)
Koopa (off screen): At last, my colossal Koopinx is nearly complete!
(Cut to inside a nearby tent. Koopa, who is dressed like a pharaoh, is sitting on a throne, and has a female Troopa fanning him.)
Koopa: What a Koopa clever idea! Turning those miserable Mushrooms into bricks, then using the stones to build a monument to myself! *laugh*
(Mouser, who's also wearing an Egyptian getup, enters.)
Mouser: Your royal Koop Tutness, I'm afraid I have some bad news!
(Koopa grabs Mouser with his staff, and pulls him towards himself.)
Mouser: Yow!
Koopa: I hate bad news! And I hate the guy who brings it!
Mouser: *gulp* Did I say bad news? *laugh* I meant good news! You'll give me a medal for bringing it!
(Koopa picks up Mouser.)
Koopa: Well?
Mouser: (in a high pitched voice) We can take that vacation cruise of the Nile!
Koopa: And what about my Koopinx?
Mouser: That's the great part! We can't finish the Koopinx! We're fresh out of bricks!
Koopa: Lousy lizards! That sounds like bad news to me!
(Koopa shakes Mouser around and throws him out of the tent. He hits a palm tree and a coconut falls on his head.)
Mouser: I guess this means no cruise and no medal!
Koopa: I GOTTA GET MORE BRICKS! Round up the Koopa Pack! We're going back to that village to nab the last of the Mushroom people!
Mouser: As you Koopmand, oh rancid one!
(Mouser walks off.)
Mouser: *shudder* There's nothing worse than a cranky Koopa!
(Later, Koopa, Mouser, Triclyde, and a Troopa are riding an Ostro-drawn chariot towards the village. Toad is watching them through a pair of binoculars.)
Toad: Uh oh, dudes! Looks like the Koopa Pack's heading this way!
Princess: What are we gonna do?
Mario: There's only one thing we can do!
Luigi: R-r-run for our lives?
Mario: No. Stand and fight!
Luigi: *gulp* I was afraid he was gonna say that!
(The chariot arrives in the village and everyone gets off.)
Koopa: Pillage the village, 'til you find that trio of Toadstools!
(Pies fly in from offscreen and land in Koopa, the Troopa, Mouser and all three of Triclyde's faces. The Three Mushrooms are using a catapult to launch the pies, and laugh.)
Mouser: They're over there, boss!
(Koopa hits Mouser on the head.)
Koopa: I can see that, ya lame-brain!
Mario: Engarde, Koop Tut!
(Mario runs up to Koopa, holding a plunger.)
Koopa: Sufferin' serpents! It's that pain-in-the-drain plumber!
(Toad jumps out of a barrel, also holding a plunger.)
Toad: And his Mushroomolisher!
(Princess, who's also holding a plunger, runs out of a house. Luigi jumps out of a well, and he too has a plunger.)
Koopa: Koopa Pack, attack!
(Mouser, Triclyde, and the Troopa dash over to Mario and Co.)
Princess: Let's give these Koopa droopas a taste of pasta power!
(Curly launches some pies from the catapult.)
Curly: Here's pie in your eye!
(The pies hit everyone though.)
Momah: Why you, you hit the wrong guys, fungus brain!
(Momah pulls on Curly and Larry's noses.)
Koopa: Magic staff, do your trick! Turn those Mushrooms into bricks!
(Koopa shoots a bolt of energy from his staff at The Three Mushrooms, and they turn into bricks.)
Luigi: Mario, look! Koop Tut turned The Three Mushrooms into bricks!
(A net is flung over Mario and Co, which catches them.)
Koopa: Gotcha now, plumb scum! Your faucet fixing days are over! *laugh*
(Mario groans. Cut to a pyramid. Mario and Co are in the entrance room, while Koopa and Co are blocking the entrance.)
Princess: I'm warning you, Koop Tut! Let my Mushrooms go!
Koopa: Never! Good bricks are hard to find!
(Koopa and Co laugh.)
Koopa: Bye bye, bilge bums! And I don't mean, see ya later!
(They leave, and the door closes, sealing Mario and Co inside.)
Toad: We're trapped, dudes! Like mushrooms in a salad!
Princess: It sure is spooky in here!
Luigi: I want my mommy!
Mario: Will you settle for a mummy? Look!
(Mario points down a corridor. When the others look down it they gasp. The song "Walk Like an Egyptian" starts up. A Goomba mummy is running down the corridor towards them.)
Luigi: Leaping calzone!
Toad: Let's make like a bug and flee!
(The Goomba chases them down another corridor.)
Luigi: I thought that Goomba mummy was scary! But look!
(Up ahead is a Cobrat in an urn.)
Mario: Jump for it!
(Mario and Co jump over the Cobrat, but so does the Goomba.)
Mario: Uh oh, look!
(A Phanto flies out from behind a wall.)
Everyone: A PHANTO!
(Mario and Co stop.)
Toad: Ultra bad scene, dudes! We're caught between a mummy and a weird thing!
Mario: Haven't gone down the drain yet! Look!
(Next to them is a labeled button, which Mario reads.)
Mario: Emergency exit, push!
(The song ends. A trapdoor opens up underneath Mario and Co, and they fall through. They land on a slide and slide down to the bottom. Outside the pyramid, a secret door opens up, which Mario and Co come sliding out of. Luigi lands headfirst in the sand, so he pulls himself out and shakes his head.)
Luigi: Lucky linguini! I thought we were up the pipe without a plunger!
Princess: Come on, let's fix that phony pharaoh and free the Mushroom people!
(Mario and Co walk off. Cut to the outside of Koopa's tent, which is next to the now finished Koopinx.)
Koopa: At last, my colossal Koopinx is finished! *laugh*
(Koopa walks back into the tent and up to his throne, which he sits down in.)
Koopa: *yawn* Gosh, this tyrant business is hard work! I'm too pooped to Koop! Think I'll take a Koopa catnap!
(Koopa falls asleep and lets go of his staff. Mario tiptoes into the tent, grabs the staff, and runs off. Mario is now at the Koopinx with the others.)
Mario: Magic staff, bring joy among us, turn these bricks into fungus!
(Mario shoots a bolt of energy at the Koopinx, which turns back into a pile of Mushroomers.)
Luigi: Magic mozzarella! The Koopinx bricks have been turned back into Mushroom people!
(The Three Mushrooms laugh.)
Toad: Nice goin', plumber dude!
Mario: Now we gotta lead these Mushrooms to safety! Come on!
(Mario runs off, and everyone follows him. Cut to Koopa's tent, where Koopa has woken up.)
Koopa: Calamitous crocodiles! What do you mean the Koopinx has vanished?
(Koopa picks up Mouser.)
Mouser: Those pepperoni plumbers freed the Mushroom people and escaped into the desert!
(Koopa throws Mouser at the ground and growls.)
Koopa: Sound the Koopa Pack Attack! We're going after them!
Mouser: Yes, oh vile and nasty-
(Koopa kicks Mouser into the wall of the tent.)
Mouser: OOONNNEEE!
Koopa: This is the last time those drain brains give me a pain in the Koop!
(Cut to a sea of red water, where Mario and Co and the Mushroomers are standing on one side.)
Toad: Look, dudes! The Red Sauce Sea!
Princess: Somehow, we gotta get the Mushroom people across to safety!
(Mario twirls the staff around.)
Mario: Magic staff, do your art! Make this Red Sauce Sea depart!
(Thunder roars in the sky. Mario then shoots a bolt of energy at the sea, making it split into two sections, with a passage in the middle.)
Luigi: Spectacular spaghetti! The Red Sauce Sea is parting!
Mario: Mushrooms ho!
(Mario and Co and the Mushrooms head through the passage between the sea. As they do, Koopa and Co show up in their chariot. Koopa growls and heads down into the sea, just as the Mushroomers get to the other side. Mario tosses the staff back into the sea, which closes back into one whole part, washing Koopa and Co away. Everyone cheers.)
Koopa: Lousy lizards! This is enough to make a grown Koopa cry!
Princess: Well, we've freed the Mushroom people and defeated Koop Tut! What should we do for an encore?
Mario: Mamamia! I've got it! Let's have the biggest spaghetti feast in history! We've already got the red sauce! Now if we can just lay our hands on a hundred billion tons of pasta!
The End
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