(The episode opens to a Mexican-like desert.)
Mario: (in his mind) Plumber's Log, Number 1-39-13. We were making our way through the endless tracks of cactus and sand of El Desert Land. We were looking for the legendary masked hero Zero, hoping he would help us in our fight against Koopa.
(The Marios are riding in an Ostro-drawn wagon shaped like a sombrero. Attached to the back is a bathtub on wheels that Princess and Toad are riding in.)
Luigi: Mario, I'm starting to wonder if the legendary masked hero named Zero really exists!
Mario: He's real alright! And he's gonna help us!
Toad: It's a good thing ostriches are too dumb to know how hot it is!
(The Ostros look back at Toad, and come to a stop.)
Toad: Me and my big mouth!
(Princess points up ahead.)
Princess: Look, a taco stand!
(The Ostros see a taco stand up ahead and drool. Without any warning, they run over to it, startling the group.)
Koopa (off screen): So, those silly saps are lookin' for Zero, eh? *snicker*
(Koopa, who's dressed like a soldier and is sporting a moustache, pops out of a rock on a cliff.)
Koopa: Won't they be surprised when I Koopalize them! *laugh*
(The Ostros stop in front of the taco stand, and a dust cloud blows in Mario and Co's faces, causing them to cough. A teenage girl, who works at the taco stand, looks at them from inside a window in the taco stand.)
Girl: Are you here to like, buy something, or just make a mess?
(The girl walks up to the group.)
Girl: So, what'll it be? Burritos? Enchiladas? Quesadillas?
Mario: Yes, yes, and yes!
Koopa (off screen): And, how 'bout an all out attack by El Koopitan and his Troopas on the side?
(Koopa and some Troopas, who are also dressed up like soldiers, arrive on Ostros.)
Koopa: Koopa Pack, attack!
(The Koopas ride over towards the group.)
Girl: *screams* It's El Koopitan! I'm getting outta here!
(The girl runs back inside, puts a CLOSED sign on the door, and closes it, along with a window blind. The Troopas surround the group in a large circle. Princess and Toad hide in the tub, and two Troopas come in from both sides and crash into each other. Koopa signals Mouser, who's also dressed up as a soldier, to pull back on a cactus and fling it towards the Marios, who get into the sombrero wagon.)
Mario: Holy calamari!
(The Troopas surround the wagons, with Koopa in the middle.)
Koopa: These drain brains are mine! All mine!
Mario: It doesn't look good for the good guys, Luigi!
Luigi: *shivers* Nervous noodles! We're surrounded!
(The song "La Bamba" starts up. Zero, a mustached character that looks similar to Zorro, appears, and lighting flashes. Zero wears a mask, a cape, a flat hat, and a shirt with a 0 on it as well. Zero lassos a whip onto a cactus and swings down, knocking out a few Troopas. Zero then uses the whip to lasso two Troopas together, causing them to fall over and roll into a cactus. Zero then walks up to the tub.)
Princess: It's Zero!
(Zero bows and runs off, while hearts emit from Princess.)
Toad: The legendary masked hero Zero, ya mean!
(Zero runs up to the Marios.)
Mario: Nice to meet you, legendary masked hero Zero!
(Mouser runs up to Zero, and they get into a swordfight.)
Luigi: This Zero guy can get down, Mario!
(A Troopa knocks Mario over, but he gets up again.)
Mario: Talk about getting down! Let's get him!
(Luigi throws the Troopa at some other Troopas, knocking them all out.)
(Mouser and Zero are still fighting. Mouser cuts out part of a cactus, and kicks off the top half. Zero yawns and starts slicing up another cactus as Mouser laughs. Zero then blows on the cactus, which breaks up into several slices. They go back to fighting, and Zero knocks Mouser's sword out of his hand.)
Mouser: What?
(The song ends. Koopa grabs a cactus.)
Koopa: Time to pin this Zero!
(Koopa throws the cactus at Zero, who falls down.)
Koopa: Forget the Marios! Get Zero!
(Several Troopas surround Zero. Two other Troopas pull back on a cactus and launch it like a catapult, and it flies over to the Marios in pieces. Mario and Co then hide in the wagons.)
Koopa: Let's Koop out! We got what we came for!
(Koopa and his minions ride off. Mouser is holding Zero, who's been tied up.)
Princess: El Koopitan got Zero!
Mario: And we didn't even get a taco!
(Cut to a nearby town. Koopa and his minions ride in on their Ostros, scaring off the Mushroom townsfolk, who all wear sombreros. Mario and Co are standing on a nearby hill. Koopa and the Troopas then raid a field of radishes and force the Mushroomers to load a cart with turnips. Later, a Troopa knocks on the door of a building. A man comes out and adds a coin to Koopa's chest, which is already full. Koopa laughs and rides into the building. Mario and Co are watching through a window in a nearby building.)
Princess: This is awful! El Koopitan has taken everything from these poor people!
Mario: There's only one person who can help! It's up to us to find Zero!
(After the Koopas leave, Mario and Co meet up with the townsfolk.)
Mario: Senor Mayor, Zero's been captured, and we're trying to find him! But we need your help! Does anyone know where El Koopitan's secret fortress is?
(Some people scream and run away into their homes.)
Mayor: They want to help, but El Koopitan strikes fear in the hearts of my people!
Koopa (off screen): Did somebody mention my name?
(Everyone gasps as Koopa returns with his minions.)
Mario: We're not afraid of you, El Koopitan!
(Luigi looks around.)
Mario: Now, Luigi!
(Luigi jumps over to Mario. Toad joins up with them, and they march towards Koopa.)
Mario: The people are ready to fight you, El Koopitan! Right, people of El Desert Land? Right, people of El Desert Land? Right pe-
(The rest of the crowd leaves.)
Luigi: Uh, Mario! There are no people left in El Desert Land!
Koopa: Koopa Pack, attack!
(The Troopas run after the Marios and Toad. The three of them grab some radishes from the cart and throw them at the Troopas.)
Mario: Luigi, get the wagons!
Luigi: And we're outta here!
(Luigi runs off, and two Troopas follow him. Another Troopa chases after Princess, who screams, and Toad throws a radish at him. Luigi returns in the Ostro drawn tub.)
Luigi: Mario! Mario! HELP!
Mario: Luigi!
Toad: We're outta vegetables!
Koopa: And outta luck too, goofball! *laugh*
(Troopas on Ostros surround Mario, Princess, and Toad.)
Toad: We're trapped!
Koopa: That's what you get for stickin' your nose into El Koopitan's business!
(Two Troopas grab Luigi's arms.)
Luigi: Ow! Ow! You're hurtin' me!
Mario: Leave my brother alone!
Koopa: Try and stop us, nozzle nose!
(Mario runs over to a cart full of tortillas, and throws some at Koopa.)
Mario: There!
(The tortillas knock Koopa off of his Ostro.)
Toad: Bull's-eye!
Mario: Take that tortilla, stoopa Troopas!
(Mario hurls two tortillas at the Troopas by Luigi.)
Luigi: Way to go, Mario!
(Luigi runs over to the rest of the group, who are all by the wagon, throwing tortillas.)
Luigi: Toss those tortillas!
(Some of the Troopas are knocked over by the tortillas, while the rest of them and Koopa run/ride off.)
Koopa: Retreat! Retreat! El Koopitan shall return!
(Mario and Co cheer.)
Mario: I guess Mexican food doesn't agree with El Koopitan!
(Mario takes a bite out of a tortilla. Later, the group is walking with the mayor.)
Mayor: I'm sorry we ran from you, Mario! But without Zero, the people are too afraid to fight!
Mario: Hmm, Senor Mayor! I think you just gave me an idea!
(Cut to outside of the town, where Koopa and his minions are.)
Koopa: Give Mouser the signal! It's time we took this village!
(A Troopa pulls a signal box out of the ground and throws it over to Mouser, who's with several other Troopas on Ostros.)
Mouser: That's the signal! Attack!
Koopa: Koopa Pack, attack!
(Koopa and his minions return to the town, scaring everyone again.)
Koopa: You mealy Mushrooms got one chance to surrender!
(The crowd says nothing.)
Koopa: A wise choice!
Mario (off screen): Not so fast, El Koopitan!
(Up on a roof are the Marios, who are both dressed up like Zero. Mario has a 0 on his shirt, and Luigi has 0 + 1 on his shirt.)
Mario: First you must deal with Zero and-
Luigi: Zero Plus One!
Koopa: It can't be!
Mario: But it is!
(Mario pulls out his plumber snake, and the crowd cheers.)
Mayor: Zero is back! Zero is back!
(Mario jumps down from the roof onto a cart full of radishes, which go flying towards the Koopas, knocking them over. An Ostro picks up Mouser and puts him on his saddle.)
Mouser: What are you doing? Woah!
(A radish knocks Mouser off.)
Luigi: I think I'll take the stairs!
(Mario uses the tip of his plumber snake to write zeroes all over the Troopas' shirts. Luigi comes out of a building.)
Mario: Hey, Zero Plus One! You mind giving me a hand, or what?
Luigi: I hope this works!
(Luigi writes 0 + 1 on a Troopa's shirt with his plumber snake, and the Troopa runs off.)
Luigi: Hey, it works! It works!
(The Mayor holds up a Mushroom flag and leads the crowd around.)
Mayor: For liberty, justice, and freedom for all fungi!
(The Mushroomers throw radishes at the Koopas.)
Mouser: They're cleaning up, El Koopitan! Let's retreat to your secret fortress, one mile north of the taco stand!
(Meanwhile, Mario is writing this info down on a pad of paper.)
Mario: Secret fortress: One mile north of the taco stand.
(Koopa hits Mouser with his hat several times.)
Koopa: Ninny! Hamster head! Cheese brain!
(Koopa and his minions leave, but Koopa continues to hit Mouser.)
Mouser: Yeowch! Ouch! Ooh! Sorry, El Koopitan!
Mayor: We've won! We've defeated El Koopitan!
(The Mushroomers throw their sombreros in the air and cheer. Princess and Toad run up to the Marios.)
Princess: Your idea worked, Mario!
Mario: And now, to go to Koopa's secret fortress, and free the real Zero!
(Cut to Koopa's fortress at night, which is surrounded by cactus walls. Two Troopas are guarding the door, while Mario and Co are standing on a nearby ledge.)
Luigi: And how are we supposed to get in there, Mario? Just fly over the walls?
Mario: Luigi! That's exactly how we'll get in!
Luigi: Mario, I'm not sure I like this idea!
Mario: It's gonna work like a charm! What's the matter? You never heard of hang gliding?
(The Marios glide down from the ledge with their capes.)
Luigi: WEEEEEEEEE! Holy ravioli! I'm flyin'!
(The Marios fly over the wall and land.)
Mario: Here they come, Luigi!
(Mario shushes Luigi and they start to tiptoe, but a searchlight spots them. They grin, pull out roses, stick them in their mouths, and do a little dance, but quickly stop. Mario gasps.)
Luigi: Bring 'em on! I'm ready for 'em this time! What am I sayin'?
(Some Troopas run up to Mario, who hits them with his plumber snake. Two Troopas charge at Luigi, who jumps, causing them to hit each other. Mario cuts a few of the cactuses making up one of the walls with his plumber snake, and they land on some Troopas. The Marios hold out a plumber snake by the door to the fortress. Koopa and Mouser come running out, trip over the snake, and slide into some cactuses, which get stuck on their noses.)
Mario: Let's get Zero, and beat it outta here, Luigi!
(The Marios enter the fortress and meet up with Zero. Cut to the taco stand. The Marios, who are back in their normal attire, walk up to a table with Princess and Toad and sit down.)
Princess: And with the real Zero free again, the Mushroom peasants won't have to live in fear of El Koopitan!
(The girl walks up to them, except that she's wearing Zero's mask and his moustache.)
Girl: You big spenders decide what you want yet? Oops, I forgot!
(The girl pulls off the mask and moustache.)
Mario and Co: YOU'RE ZERO?
Girl: The legendary masked hero Zero! And if you guys can keep my secret, I'll give you all the tacos you can carry!
(The girl hands Mario a taco.)
Mario: I'll never tell!
(Mario takes a bite.)
Mario: I promise!
(Everyone else laughs.)
The End
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