(The episode opens to a rocketship navigating through a meteor swarm in outer space. Mario is sitting in the driver's seat, while Luigi, Princess, and Toad stand by him.)
Mario: (in his mind) Plumber's Log, Number 6-2-9-4. We were just a pasta noodle away from escaping King Koopa's Space Troopas, when we got nailed with a lucky shot.
(A meteor hits the ship, knocking it around. Toad loses his balance and is thrown at a wall.)
Toad: Yikes! What a drag!
(Princess and Luigi hit the wall as well.)
Mario: Let's find out where in the Mushroom Universe we are!
(Mario presses a button, which brings up their radar on the monitor. The radar shows that their ship is approaching a planet and starts beeping.)
Mario: WOAH! I've got good news and bad news for you!
Luigi: What's better than this?
Mario: The good news is, we're almost at the planet Quirk!
Luigi: And the bad news?
(The ship shakes some more and everyone shouts.)
Mario: The bad news is, we'll be making a crashlanding!
(Rocket fuel is leaking out from the back of the ship.)
Toad: We're losin' fuel!
(The door breaks off and supplies fly out.)
Princess: We've lost our supplies!
(Now the ship is nearing the planet Quirk, a rocky planet with structures that look like trumpets all over the place.)
Mario: My pasta! This is terrible!
(Cut to the surface of planet Quirk. Several native Quirks, who are little green men, each with two trumpet noses, are standing on the sides of a river of yellow water, pulling barges full of pink crates with ropes. Mouser, who's wearing a spacesuit and holding a Bob-omb, walks up to two of them. He throws the Bob-omb at them, and it blows up in their faces.)
Mouser: Don't be so slow! Hurry up! Huh?
(Mouser looks up into space, and the two Quirks run off. Mario and Co's rocketship is flying straight towards Mouser, and lands right on top of him. Princess, who's wearing a space helmet, opens the door and gets out, but starts to float away.)
Princess: That wasn't such a bad landing! But now we're floating away!
(Toad grabs her hand.)
Toad: Probably because of the different gravity, your hiiiiiiighness!
(Mario, who's also wearing a helmet with his hat on top of it, comes to the door.)
Mario: Forget gravity! Grab me!
(Mario grabs Toad's other hand. Luigi, who's also wearing a helmet with his hat on top of it, comes to the door and grabs one of Mario's overall straps.)
Mario: I got Luigi as an anchor!
Luigi: And I got the toolbox!
(Luigi pulls the others down to the ground.)
Luigi: Here! Use these tools for ballast! They'll hold you down!
(Luigi opens the toolbox and passes several wrenches and picks around, which they stuff into under their clothes.)
Mario: Now all we need is fuel, supplies, food, and more food!
Luigi: Fat chance we'll find any on this deserted planet!
(The two Quirks climb up from a lower ledge and walk over to the group.)
Quirks: We Quirks will help you! You saved us from the wicked Astro Mouser!
(Mario and Co gasp.)
Mario: Astro Mouser?
(Mouser, who's now as flat as a pancake, emerges from underneath the ship, holding an equally flat Bob-omb. Since his head is facing down, Mario and the others don't recognize him.)
Mario: 'Scuse us, sir! I thought you were the landing pad! Give me your hand!
(Mouser sticks his head up and growls. Mario gasps.)
Quirk 1: Quick!
Quirk 2: Get on our barge, everybody!
(Luigi, Princess, Toad, and the Quirks run off as Mouser gets up. Mario stares at Mouser before running off. Mouser hurls several flat Bob-ombs at everybody. Mario is running so fast, he reaches the barge before the others. They then start to paddle away.)
Mario: I said we were sorry!
Quirk 2: It's no use! He's following orders from our wicked leader, Moon Man Koopa!
Luigi and Toad: Moon Man Koopa?
(Mouser growls and throws a flat Bob-omb at the boat, which explodes and springs a leak.)
Quirk 2: We've been hit!
Quirks: Oh no! Mayday! Mayday!
Luigi: Leapin' lasagna! This whole tub is gonna sink!
Mario: Don't panic! I'll plug the leak in two shakes of a calamari's tail!
(Mario dives into the flooded barge.)
Luigi: And for free!
(Mario surfaces and grabs a wrench from Luigi.)
Mario: Don't get carried away, Luigi!
(Mario goes back under the water. Later, a shower cap has been set up where the leak is, and is using the water to push the barge faster.)
Luigi: That's what I call shower power!
Mario: If only our rocketship were as easy to fix!
Quirk 2: You can get everything you need at our Quirk factory!
(Quirk 2 points to a factory up ahead, which the river leads into.)
Quirk 1: There's just one little problem!
Quirk 2: If Moon Man Koopa catches you, he'll put you in chains, boil you in oil, and enslave you for life!
Quirk 1: And that's if he likes you!
Princess: We can only hope Astro Mouser hasn't alerted Koopa's Troopas!
(A rocket zooms past them and crashes into the factory, leaving behind clouds of smoke that spell out the word "ALERT".)
Quirk 1: Sorry, there's the alert right now!
Toad: So much for hope!
(A warning siren goes off.)
Luigi: Now how're we gonna sneak in?
(The barge goes down the river and into the factory. Mario and Co are all wearing fake Quirk noses.)
Luigi: I hope these Quirk disguises work!
Mario: Our own Mama Mia wouldn't recognize us!
(Mario squeezes Luigi's fake noses.)
(A machine grabs the barge and lifts it up.)
Princess: Maybe we should've disguised ourselves as moon rocks!
(The contents of the barge are dropped onto a conveyor belt. Mario and Co lose their fake noses after the fall.)
Luigi: Look! Supplies!
(Luigi points to a wall full of various machines and huge tanks of fuel.)
Toad: Fuel!
Luigi: Trouble!
(Three Troopas, who are wearing space helmets, are standing on a catwalk up ahead.)
Mario: Everybody, make like a moon rock!
(The six of them hide under the crates, but the Troopas can still see them. One of the Troopas pushes a button as the group passes under them. Toad climbs out from under the crates and laughs.)
Toad: So much for Moon Man Koopa's stoopa Troopas!
Mario: Now, all we've got to worry about is.
(Koopa, who is wearing a space helmet, is standing at the end of the conveyor belt.)
Mario and Co: MOON MAN KOOPA!
Toad: Yikes!
Mario, Luigi, and Princess: Oh no!
(Koopa pushes a button on a remote control, which turns on an electric magnet.)
Koopa: And his magnetic personality! *laugh*
(The group tries to run away, but the magnet pulls Mario and Co back and catches them.)
Luigi: Mamamia! We've been nailed by the tools in our pockets!
Koopa: Gut wrenching, isn't it? Hmm.
(The Quirks try to sneak off, but Koopa grabs them.)
Koopa: Stick around for the party, ya honk faced Quirks!
Toad: This can't get much worse!
Koopa: Oh yes it can, ya little twerp! You're gonna spend the rest of your lives in chains! *laugh*
(Two Troopas holding chains enter. Cut to a fenced in area behind the factory where Mario and Co are chained up and hitting another chain with their tools. Quirks, who are wearing loose shackles on their ankles, are embarking onto barges and leaving. Koopa is standing on a platform that resembles a cherry picker and laughs.)
Mario: Sorry we got you into a lifetime of enslavement, little pepperoni!
(The two Quirks stop.)
Luigi: Quick! Run before Koopa closes your shackles!
Quirk 2: It's no use! We've always been Koopa's slaves!
Quirk 1: But chains are just a new twist!
(Mario gets onto an oddly shaped anvil with trumpet formations on it.)
Mario: Honked noses of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!
(Koopa's platform descends next to everyone.)
Koopa: They'll never lose their chains because I control them!
(Koopa presses a button on his remote, which tightens the Quirks' shackles.)
Koopa: Electronically, no less!
(Later, all of the Quirks are leaving on the barges, and the two Quirks wave to Mario and Co, who wave back.)
Princess: The poor Quirks! I could just cry for them!
Koopa: You're breaking my heart, Princess! Now, get to work! Now that you and these Quirks are my slaves, I got other planets to plunder! *laugh*
(Koopa rides away on his platform and enters his rocket ship, which resembles an Albatoss head.)
Mario: There must be a way to break these chains!
(The song "Chains" starts up. Mario starts banging his chains with his mallet. The anvil Mario is standing on emits a noise and knocks Mario off.)
Mario: Luigi! The shackles' electronics system reacts to the anvil's sound!
Luigi: Really?
Mario: Yeah! All together! Tap!
Luigi: Yes, sir!
(The Marios hit the anvil with their tools, and the noise shorts out their shackles.)
Toad: Hey, our music shorted out Koopa's electronic shackle system! Let's run for it!
(The song ends. The four of them run onto a barge, and the warning siren goes off. An automated watchtower shoots several lasers at the barge, but they miss.)
Mario: Whew! That one nearly rang our bell tempo! Quick! Our rocket fuel! Our ravioli rations!
Quirk 1 (off screen): We've got them right here!
(The group looks up ahead and sees a group of Quirks with a crate. They then paddle up to the Quirks, who load the crate onto the barge.)
Princess: But we can't leave you chained like this!
Quirk 2: No time! You must escape!
(Koopa rides up on an overhead electric magnet.)
Koopa: There's no escaping from Moon Man Koopa!
(Mario and Co paddle away.)
Mario: Everybody, hurry! Start paddlin'!
Koopa: Not with tools in your pockets! *laugh*
(Koopa pushes a button on his remote to activate the magnet, and goes after Mario and Co.)
Quirk 2: Quirks unite! We have nothing to use but our chains!
(The Quirks run up to the magnet, but get pulled onto it by their chains. This allows Mario and Co to get away.)
Quirk 1: Get going, gang!
Princess: I can't look! They did that to save us!
Mario: Don't look, just paddle!
Quirks: So long! Goodbye! Don't worry about us! We'll be all right!
(Later, Mario and Co's ship, which has been repaired, blasts off.)
Princess: We can't leave the poor Quirks like that!
Mario: We won't! But first, we take care of Koopa! Look!
(Koopa's ship approaches them and shoots meteors from its beak at Mario and Co's ship, which avoids them.)
Mario: Luigi! Take the control!
(Mario walks over to a cauldron of pasta, and Luigi gets into the driver's seat.)
Luigi: But it's not the time to think of your stomach now!
Mario: I'm just making spaghetti! Suitable for Koopa's meteoric balls!
(Two hatches on the front of Mario and Co's ship open up and shoot balls of pasta at the meteors, which explode on impact.)
Koopa: (no longer wearing his helmet) I'll dispose of those fried cooks!
(Koopa presses a button, which causes the meteors to be fired rapidly. Mario retaliates by rapidly firing balls of pasta.)
Mario: We're losin' marinara! Not to mention momentum! Full speed ahead!
Koopa: Come to Koopa, my little olive pit! *laugh*
(Koopa's ship is closing in on them, and its beak opens up.)
Toad: Oh, don't look now, but Koopa's rocket wants to eat our rocket!
Mario: Not on my melted mozzarella! Throw out everything, including the kitchen sink!
(Supplies are tossed out of the door, allowing Mario and Co's ship to move faster. Koopa still catches up with them and attempts to munch their ship.)
Mario: We've thrown out everything but our emergency pasta ration!
(Mario runs into a back room, where there is a glass case and a hammer on the wall. He reaches for the hammer, but he then puts his hands against his head.)
Mario: *moan* I can't do it! I-I can't use the last of our pasta!
(Princess runs up to the case and grabs the hammer.)
Princess: Sorry, Mario! But we've got no choice!
(Princess throws the hammer at the glass case. The exhaust port flips open and pasta flies out, into the mouth of Koopa's ship, slowing it down.)
Mario: Now that's pasta power!
Koopa: I'll get those Quirks for this!
(Koopa's ship heads back down towards planet Quirk. Mario and Co are watching his ship on their monitor.)
Princess: Oh no! The poor Quirks! Koopa will enslave them for good!
(Cut to planet Quirk, where all of Quirks have gathered in a crowd and are free from their chains.)
Quirk 1: If this worked on Koopa's shackle system, maybe it'll work on his rocket!
Quirk 2: We can do it, guys! A-one, a-two, a-one two three four!
(All of the Quirks start to toot the main theme from "The Legend of Zelda" with their noses. After a while, Koopa's ship starts to short out, and his windshield starts to crack.)
Koopa: You call that music? Stop that racket!
(Koopa's ship drives off.)
Koopa: I hate that music! I hate spaghetti! I hate Quirks! I hate those faucet freeeeaaaaks!
(Koopa ship flies off out of control, and the Quirks stop tooting. Mario and Co watch him fly off on their monitor.)
Mario: It looks like those Quirks flew Moon Man Koopa for a galactic loopa!
(The Quirks cheer. Mario and Co's ship flies past the planet, and Mario, Princess, and Toad wave at the Quirks as they fly off.)
Mario: Beam us down to the nearest pasta, Luigi!
The End
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