(The episode opens to an establishing shot of one of Koopa's castles in the Mushroom Kingdom.)

Mario: (in his mind) Plumber's Log, Number 2-3-0. It wasn't the best way to start the day. Koopa had captured us and locked us in his dungeon.

(Cut to the dungeon of the castle. The Marios are in a cell where the sidewalls are sticking out towards the middle. Princess, Toad, Koopa, and two Troopas are standing outside the cell. Koopa is also holding a scepter.)

Koopa: And it's gonna get badder before it gets better, faucet freaks!

Toad: You don't scare me, ya big windbag!

(Toad jumps around Koopa.)

Princess: Uh, Toad. Take it easy.

Toad: Come on, Koopa stoopa! I'm not afraid! Whaddaya think of that?

Koopa: I think it's time you joined the rest of the Mushroom people as a rock!

(Koopa uses his scepter to shoot some magical sparks at Toad.)

Toad: Yow!

Princess: No!

Mario and Luigi: Leapin' lasagna!

(Toad turns into a green rock.)

Princess: Oh no!

(Princess walks over to the rock and hugs it.)

Princess: Poor Toad!

Koopa: And he ain't the only one going bye-bye!

(Koopa walks over to a lever by the cell.)

Koopa: I'm gonna turn those two fat little plumbers into two flat little plumbers!

(Koopa pulls the lever, and the walls of the cell start closing in on the Marios. Koopa laughs.)

Princess: Oh no! Please, let them go! I-I'll do anything you want, King Koopa! Anything!

Koopa: Anything? Like marry me?

Princess: Marry you?

Koopa: With you as my bride, I'll be the legal ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom! It's the only thing I need to accomplish total victory!

(The walls of the cell have closed in even more, leaving the Marios with almost no room.)

Mario: Don't do it, Princess! We'll get you out of this, somehow.

Luigi: We will?

(Koopa taps his foot.)

Princess: Okay, okay, I'll do it!

Koopa: I knew I was irresistible!

Princess: If you promise to free the Marios and restore Toad and my Mushroom people to life!

Koopa: Tell ya what: I'll restore Toad and your people before the wedding, and free the Marios after! Deal?

Princess: Okay. It's a deal.

(Koopa laughs, pulls the lever again, and the walls of the cell move out back to their original positions. The Marios shout as they fall down.)

Koopa: Take the princess to the great hall, and spread the word! We're gettin' married in the morning!

(Koopa climbs down a ladder and two Troopas escort Princess after him.)

Luigi: This is awful! We gotta get outta here and stop that crazy wedding!

Mario: Exactly right, Luigi!

(The Marios each pull out a spoon and clash them together.)

Mario: And what do plumbers do best, next to fixin' pipes?

Mario and Luigi: Dig!

(The Marios start to dig a hole out of the cell. Cut to another part of the castle. The song "White Wedding" starts up. Koopa is walking up a ladder and tossing flower pedals around. When he gets to the top, he trips and falls over.)

Koopa: YOW!

(Koopa is lying upside-down on the area by the top of the ladder, next to some Troopas. He also appears to be dizzy.)

Koopa: The lucky Princess Toadstool's gonna get me as her handsome husband!

(The song ends. Meanwhile, the Marios are digging a tunnel underneath the castle.)

Mario: If I figured right, this tunnel will lead us straight to the princess!

Luigi: And if you figured wrong?

(The Marios dig out of a wall next to a pair of Hammer Bros.)

Mario: You hadda ask!

Luigi: Oh!

(The Marios get back into the hole. The Hammer Bros. go after them, but hit themselves on each other's heads. Cut to the great hall, where Troopas are cleaning up and setting up decorations. Mouser is helping Koopa put on a white jacket over a yellow shirt and purple pants.)

Koopa: This better fit!

Mouser: Oh, it will! You'll make an awesome groom, your royal repulsiveness!

(Mouser buttons the tuxedo, but it's a tight fit. Koopa grabs a Troopa that runs past him.)

Koopa: Hey, you! Put together a band! A loud band!

(Koopa gives the Troopa a kick, and he runs off.)

Koopa: The louder the better! (to Mouser) And you! Make up a guest list! Invite all my friends to the wedding!

(Koopa kicks Mouser aside. Mouser then pulls out a pencil and a pad of paper.)

Mouser: Uh, friends? Uh, what friends?

Koopa: Well, there's a, nah, nah! How 'bout, uh, uh.

(Koopa paces around Mouser.)

Koopa: Alright, invite my mother! She'll show up for the cake!

(The button on Koopa's jacket pops off and hits Mouser's nose.)

Koopa: I can't get married in this jacket!

(Koopa picks up Mouser.)

Princess (off screen): You're not getting married, period!

(Koopa turns around, sees Princess, and drops Mouser.)

Koopa: And why is that, my beautiful betrothed?

(Koopa walks over to Princess.)

Princess: You haven't released Toad and my Mushroom people like you promised!

Koopa: Oh, alright! Keep your crown on! You want people to think I'm marrying a nag?

(Koopa and Princess enter another room in the castle, which is of full of
green rocks.)

Princess: Well? What are you waiting for? Set my people free!

(Koopa uses his scepter on some of the rocks, turning them back into Mushroom people, one of whom is Toad.)

Toad: Woah! Princess! What happened?

(Toad runs up to Princess, gives her a hug, and laughs.)

Princess: You don't wanna know!

(Meanwhile, the Marios are digging another tunnel.)

Luigi: We've been diggin' a long time, Mario!

Mario: Don't worry, Luigi! This is the right way! I got an instinct about these things!

(Outside the castle, two Troopas open up the front doors. The Mushroom people behind them cheer and walk out. Princess walks out with Toad, who's crying. Koopa is right behind them.)

Toad: Don't do it, Princess! Don't marry Koopa! I'd rather be a rock!

Princess: But what kind of princess would I be if I didn't save my people? Or try to free Mario and Luigi?

(Princess hugs Toad.)

Toad: I can't let you go through with this!

Koopa: Get that little toadstool outta here before I get fit!

(Two Troopas carry Toad away.)

Princess: Oh, Toad!

(Toad is tossed over to some other Mushroomers. Princess waves to him.)

Princess: Goodbye, Toad! Goodbye, my people! Goodbye and good luck!

(Two Troopas close the doors, with Princess still inside. Nearby, the Marios dig up through a hole.)

Luigi: Leapin' lasagna! We're not even in the castle anymore!

Mario: Hey! It's Toad and the Mushroom people! Koopa let them go!

Luigi: Which means, he kept his promise! Now the princess has to marry Koopa!

Mario: Koopa keep a promise? No way! Look!

(The Marios go back down into the hole. Toad walks up to a door, but Koopa, who's not dressed up anymore, comes out with his scepter.)

Toad: What're you doin', snake breath?

Koopa: Doin' what I do best! Bein' really bad! I'm rockin' ya back to sleep!

Toad: Uh oh! Run!

Mario: That fang-faced, two timing, doublecrosser!

(Koopa uses his scepter to turn the Mushroom people, minus Toad, back into rocks. Toad is then hit by some of the sparks.)

Toad: Yikes! You're not gonna get away with-

(Toad turns back into a rock.)

Koopa: Correction, stone face! I just got away with it! *laugh* You there! Troopas!

(Three Troopas run out of a door and salute Koopa.)

Koopa: Take this rock pile back inside the castle! I don't want the princess to find out what I did to her people 'til after our wedding!

(Koopa goes back inside, and the Troopas start picking up the rocks.)

Mario: What a rotten reptile! He broke his promise to the princess!

Luigi: Yeah! Now whadda we do?

Mario: We go tell the princess and stop the wedding! That's what!

Luigi: And exactly how do we get inside the castle?

Mario: Relax, Luigi! I got a brainstorm!

(Later, the Marios, who are dressed as chefs and carrying trays, walk up to the front doors. Mario knocks and a Troopa looks through the wicket gate.)

Troopa: What do you want?

Mario: We're caterers and-

Troopa: Caterers? We don't need no stinkin' caterers!

(The Troopa closes the gate.)

Luigi: I told ya it wouldn't work!

Mario: Plumbers never give up, Luigi!

(Mario knocks on the door again.)

Mario: Open up! We got bug soup here! Special for King Koopa's wedding!

(The Troopa opens up the wicket gate again and licks his chops.)

Troopa: Bug soup? Why didn't ya say so?

Luigi: I don't believe they fell for the ol' bug soup trick!

(The doors open.)

Mario: Worry about it some other time! We gotta save the princess, remember?

(Mario grabs Luigi and pulls him into the castle. Cut to the great hall. Princess is covering her ears because three Troopas are playing a trumpet, a violin, and a drum in a very off-key tune. The one with the drum is hitting his head with it, instead of using drumsticks.)

Koopa: No, no, no! Put some feeling into it! Some romance! Some-

Offscreen Voice: Koopums! Koopums!

(Koopa's mom comes walking down some stairs into the room. Koopa's mom looks similar to Koopa himself, only with a girlish figure, puffy pink hair, a pink dress, high heels, bracelets, sunglasses, a purse, a handkerchief, and lot of lipstick.)

Mama: Sweet, little baby!

(Mama runs over to Koopa.)

Mama: You're makin' Mama soooooo happy!

(Mama hugs Koopa and pulls on his snout. She then punches his snout.)

Koopa: I'm glad, Mama!

Mama: What took ya so long to find a nice girl and settle down anyway?

(Mama sees Princess.)

Mama: So this is the lucky bride! I want you and my little Koopums to spend your honeymoon with me!

Princess: A-a honeymoon?

Mama: Oh yes! I live in the foulest, smelliest swamp in seven worlds! You'll love it!

(Princess cries, and Mama goes back to Koopa.)

Mama: Poor dear! She's overcome with joy!

(Meanwhile, the Marios are walking through the castle and past Mouser.)

Mouser: Hold it right there, you guys!

(Mouser walks up to the Marios with two Troopas, and they turn around.)

Mouser: Don't we know you?

(The Marios wink and toss up their trays.)

Mario and Luigi: Hooray!

(Mouser gasps.)

Mario and Luigi: Patty cake! Patty cake! Pasta man! Give me pasta power as fast as you can!

(The Marios do their little routine and catch their trays.)

Mario: Let's make plumber tracks!

(The Marios throws their trays, and one of them hits Mouser.)

Mouser: Ooh! Yeowch!

(They run off and toss away their chef disguises. Later, they're walking down some steps towards the room where the rocks are being kept.)

Luigi: Holy macaroni! We're lost inside this cockamamie castle again!

(The Marios enter the room and Luigi sits down on a rock.)

Luigi: We'll never find the princess!

Mario: Luigi! You're sitting on Toad!

Luigi: Huh?

(Luigi leaps off of the rock.)

Luigi: Oh. Sorry Toad!

Mario: This is great, Luigi!

Luigi: It is?

Mario: Sure! Toad knows his way around the castle! All we gotta do is find Koopa's magic scepter! Turn Toad back into Toad, and he'll lead us straight to the princess! Both of ya, follow me!

Luigi: Gee. Mario gets the brainstorms, and I get the backaches!

(Luigi grabs the rock and walks after Mario. Cut to another area of the castle. Mario is climbing a ladder, as a Troopa wheels the wedding cake past it on the platform at the top.)

Mario: That was the wedding cake! We must be getting close!

(Luigi is climbing with one hand and holding Toad in the other.)

Luigi: If we ever get out of this, Toad, I'm putting you on a diet!

(Cut to the great hall, where Koopa, Mama, Princess, Triclyde, who's dressed as a minister, and some Troopas are waiting. The Troopa with the cake wheels it in.)

Mama: The cake's here, Koopums! The bride's here! And so is the minister! So how come you're not dressed yet, ya bad, little boy?

Koopa: Yes, Mama! Right, Mama! Sorry, Mama!

(Koopa runs off. Cut to Koopa's dressing room, where Mouser is mending Koopa's jacket. Koopa enters.)

Koopa: That jacket's not ready, Mouser, I'll turn you over to Mama!

(Mouser's teeth chatter. Mario pokes his head out from behind a curtain.)

Mario: Koopa's in there! I'm gonna get his magic scepter and turn Toad back into himself!

Luigi: I don't care if ya turn him into ravioli! Just get him off my back!

(Koopa places his scepter onto a table, puts his wedding suit back on, and admires himself in the mirror.)

Koopa: All right! Lookin' good, your royal Koopaness!

Mama (off screen): Koopums! We're waiting!

Koopa: I'm coming, Mama!

(Koopa and Mouser leave. Mario runs over to the table, picks up the wand, and powers up to Super Mario.)

Mario: That's just what the plumber ordered! Super Mario, and Super Luigi!

(Mario zaps Luigi, who's still holding the rock. Luigi powers up to Super Luigi, and the rock turns back into Toad, who jumps out of Luigi's hands.)

Toad: About time! I was tired of bein' a rock!

Luigi: Whew! Not as tired as me!

(The wand crumbles in Mario's hand.)

Mario: Whoops! It burned out!

Luigi: Forget about that! The wedding is starting!

Mario: We gotta save the princess! Lead us to the wedding, Toad!

Toad: It's gotta be in the great hall! This way!

(Toad runs off.)

(Cut to the great hall. The song "White Wedding" starts up again. Koopa and Princess are standing in front of Triclyde, who's holding a bible with his left and right heads. Behind them are Mama, Mouser, Troopas, Goombas, and the cake.)

Right Head: *snicker* Uh, do you-

Middle Head: Princess Toadstool-

Left Head: Take this regal reptile, for your husband?

Koopa: Don't forget our deal, Princess! I kept my promise to free your people! Now you keep yours!

Princess: Okay. *gulp* Alright. I-

Mario (off screen): STOP THE WEDDING!

(Everyone in the room is shocked, but Princess' face lights up. The Marios shoot fireballs around all over the place, and the minions run for their lives. One of the Troopas runs into the cake and it falls over, making a huge mess. Some of the frosting also flies into Koopa's face. The song ends. Toad runs up to Princess.)

Toad: Princess! Koopa fibbed! He turned all your people back into rocks!

Princess: You doublecrossing fibber! I'll never marry you, ever!

(Princess grabs a glob of frosting and throws it at Koopa's face.)

Princess: Someday, you'll get what you deserve!

(Princess walks off, and Koopa twiddles his fingers.)

Mama: You ungrateful child!

(Mama hits Koopa's head with the drum.)

Mama: Now I'll have to tell all the relatives that-

(She hits him again.)

Mama: -stupid Koopums is still a bachelor! Koopums!

Koopa: Yes, Mama?

Mama: Go sit in the corner for six days!

(Koopa falls over, and Mama walks off.)

Go back to the list of episodes.
Go back to Lemmy’s Mario Cartoons.
Go back to my main page.