(The episode opens to a Wild West-like setting.)

Mario: (in his mind) Plumber's Log, Number 1870. We were on our way to the Wild Western Frontier of the Mushroom Kingdom, because the folks of Mushridge had all their gold snatched by that nasty outlaw, Billy the Koopa.

(Mario is sitting on top of an Ostro-drawn stagecoach, which Luigi, Princess, and Toad are riding inside of. Behind Mario is a trunk full of gold coins. As the stagecoach shakes, it causes a few coins to fall out, but Luigi, Princess, and Toad stick their hands out the window and grab the coins.)

Luigi: Yo, Mario! Easy on those bumps!

Princess: We've gotta get this gold to Mushroom Ridge so they can buy food!

Mario: I know how important this gold shipment is, Princess! That's why I'm driving this stagecoach as fast as she can go!

(In the distance, Koopa and a Troopa, who are both dressed like cowboys, are standing on top of an arch. Koopa also has a mustache in addition to his outfit.)

Troopa: Boss! The Mario Bros. are comin'!

Koopa: So, those pasta pests plan to help Mushridge! Not if the Worst in the West can help it!

(Cut to the stagecoach. Mario takes off his hat and fans himself with it.)

Mario: Mamamia! This Sudden Death Valley is hotter than a pizza oven!

(As the stagecoach passes under the arch, Koopa and the Troopa jump on top of it.)

Koopa: If ya can't stand the heat, get outta the coach, then!

Mario: *shriek* Koopa! How on Earth?

(The Troopa shoves Mario off of the stagecoach. Mario gets dragged underneath screaming, and grabs onto the rear axle.)

Koopa: You like ice cream, tub toes? Well how 'bout Rocky Road?

(Mario lets go of the axle and watches the stagecoach drive off.)

Toad: Look! There goes Mario! Mario?

Luigi: Runaway ravioli! Then who's drivin' the stagecoach?

(Koopa pokes his head down and looks through the window.)

Koopa: Don't worry, showerhead! You're in bad hands, and so is your dough!

Troopa: Next stop, the Double Cross Ranch!

Mario: You can stop a sink, but you can't stop a plumber!

(Mario gets up and runs after the stagecoach. Later, Mario is dehydrated, sweating, and can barely walk.)

Mario: Of course, even plumbers need water. Water! WATER!

Voice: Someone say plumber? Me be hot tub on fritz!

(Pronto, a native Mushroom, appears in the distance and runs over to Mario. Pronto is so fast, he leaves a trail of dust behind him when he runs.)

Mario: I'm a plumber! My name's Mario!

Pronto: Name Pronto! Mean fastest moccasins in West!

Mario: My pipes are mighty dry, Pronto! Where's the nearest watering hole?

(Pronto points to a cactus.)

Pronto: Cactus! Plumbosabe (plumb-oh-saw-bee) can tap juice!

Mario: Tap it? Now you're talkin'!

(Mario pulls out a faucet and sticks it into the cactus. He then turns on the tap and fills a cup with juice.)

Mario: Thanks for the tap tip, pal!

(Mario drinks the juice.)

Mario: Now I got a score to settle, with Billy the Koopa!

Pronto: Hmmm. Koopa rotten reptile! Plumbosabe need Pronto's help! Take teamwork to bring justice to Wild West!

(Later, Marios steps out of a teepee dressed as a cowboy with an eye mask, similar to the Lone Ranger.)

Mario: Koopa will never know it's Mario to the rescue with these threads!

Pronto: Hmmm. Disguise good. Now Plumbosabe must learn the ways of the West!

(Near Mario and Pronto is a fence which has a bottle positioned on each post. Mario attempts to shoot one of the bottles with a revolver, but he ends up hitting the post. Mario then empties the bullets out of the cylinder and places a small, silver plunger in the barrel. When he fires the plunger, it hits a bottle. He then fires several more plungers at other bottles. Mario then swings his arm around his back and manages to shoot a golden statuette of Billy the Koopa. Later, Pronto swings a lasso that he hands to Mario, but Mario ends up tieing up himself and Pronto with the rope. Mario then opens a trunk and takes out a plumber snake that he swings around. Mario then tries to ride on an Ostro, but the Ostro knocks him off, and he goes flying towards Pronto.)

Pronto: Uh oh!

(Mario lands on Pronto. Later, Mario is properly riding the Ostro, who's eating a hero sandwich. Pronto rides up to him on another Ostro.)

Pronto: Plumbosabe learn fast! You one rootin' tootin' masked hero!

Mario: Thanks to you, my faithful Mushroom companion! Now it's time to track down Koopa and free my Koopnaped friends! The Provolone Ranger is ready to ride! High ho, Ostro, away!

(Mario and Pronto ride off. Cut to the Double Cross Ranch, which is surrounded by a barbed wire fence.
The front gate of the ranch also has two wooden Xs at the top. Koopa is in the den with Luigi, Princess, and Toad, who are tied up in wing chairs.)

Koopa: Welcome to the Double Cross Ranch! Is there anything I can do to make your stay more uncomfortable?

Princess: You can gloat now, Koopa! But as long as Mario is out there, there's still hope!

Koopa: Oh, gimme a break! Nobody can beat the high noon heat of Sudden Death Valley!

(A Troopa who has a silver plunger stuck on his nose enters the house through the front door and walks into the den.)

Troopa: Boss! There's a mysterious masked plumber lookin' for ya!

(Koopa pulls the plunger off of the Troopa's nose.)

Troopa: That's his callin' card! A silver plumber's helper! They call him the Provolone Ranger!

Koopa: Well, if some cheese-head masked hero wants to find Billy the Koopa, I'll be glad to give him directions, into a trap!

(Cut to somewhere in the desert. Pronto is on the ground, looking around.)

Pronto: No tracks, Plumbosabe! No sign of Koopa!

Mario: How 'bout that sign, paisano?

(Mario points to a sign of Koopa and an arrow, which is covered with flashing lights.)

Pronto: Hmmm. Could be trap.

Mario: When I was in plumbin' academy, I got A+ for untrapping traps! Come on!

(Mario and Pronto follow the sign on their Ostros. They then walk their Ostros through a canyon and pass by a Pokey that's wearing a cowboy hat.)

Mario: I don't see Koopa's hideout.

(The Pokey makes a signal with his arm, and Koopa, along with some Troopas, ride into the canyon on Ostros. Mario and Pronto are now at a dead end.)

Pronto: No Koopa! Canyon dead end!

Koopa (offscreen): Ya can say that again, featherbrains!

(Koopa has now reached Mario and Pronto.)

Mario: It's Billy the Koopa!

Koopa: Congratulations, you masked meatball! Ya found me!

(Koopa pulls a Cobrat out of his holster and aims it at Mario.)

Koopa: Now reach! You're Troopa trapped!

(Koopa and the Troopas laugh. The Troopas then pull out their Cobrats and also aim for Mario, who gasps.)

Koopa: Looks like the end of the trail for the Provolone Ranger!

Pronto: Plumbosabe need plan! Fast!

Mario: Fast? That's it, Pronto! I'll distract those Troopas, and you *whispers*.

(Mario jumps around the canyon.)

Mario: You stupid Troopas! You couldn't hit the broadside of a plumber!

(The Troopas try to shoot Mario with their Cobrats.)

Troopa 1: He's over there!

Troopa 2: The varmint's too fast!

Mario: You think I'm fast? Get a load of Pronto!

(Pronto runs past a Troopa, grabbing his Cobrat along the way.)

Troopa: Well I'll be! Our Cobrats are snuffed!

(Pronto runs past the rest of the Troopas, grabbing their Cobrats as well. He then tosses all the Cobrats into a pile.)

Pronto: Old Mushroom saying: You snooze, you loose!

(The Pokey sticks his head out from behind a boulder, unbeknown to Pronto.)

Mario: Pronto! Watch out! You're gonna get-

(The Pokey grabs Pronto.)

Pokey: Caught in a needle lock!

(The Pokey brings Pronto over to Koopa.)

Koopa: Back to the hideout, boys! And bring along the fast fungus so that the masked moron doesn't try anything!

(The Koopas ride off with Pronto.)

Mario: Wait! Stop!

(Mario falls over, but gets up and tries to run after the Koopas.)

Koopa: Ya better start calling yourself the All Alone Ranger! *laugh* Cuz now I've got all your friends Kooptive!

(Soon the Koopas are out of sight. Mario stops to catch his breath.)

Mario: You've won for now! But the Provolone Ranger will ride again!

(Cut to the Double Cross Ranch den. Pronto is now tied up in a wing chair next to Luigi, Princess, and Toad. Koopa and a Troopa are also there with the trunk of gold coins.)

Koopa: *laugh* That Wild West washout never stood a chance! Now, I've got the gold and these hostages!

Princess: The Provolone Ranger will pull the plug on your evil plans, Billy the Koopa!

Koopa: Ha! One plump plumber against my entire gang of Troopas? *laugh* He won't dare show his masked mug around here!

(Cut to the front gate, where the Pokey is sleeping. Mario rides up to the Pokey on his Ostro. The Pokey wakes up.)

Mario: Hey, pardner! Tell Billy the Koopa I got a silver plunger with his name on it!

(The Pokey scurries over to the house. Mario leaps off of the Ostro and lands on the Pokey, who falls apart.)

Pokey: I've been busted!

(The Pokey, who's now nothing more than a head, bounces into the house and enters the den.)

Pokey: The Provolone Ranger! He's comin' for ya, Billy! And I'm rollin' outta here!

(The Pokey bounces off.)

Toad: I gotta check this action out!

(Toad shakes his chair around and inches over to the window, as do Luigi, Princess, and Pronto.)

Luigi: Great garlic! That's Mario!

Pronto: That's the Provolone Ranger!

Koopa: I want that ranger in danger! Now!

Troopa: Don't fret none, boss! We'll mash that masked man!

Koopa: Troopa Pack, attack!

(As Mario rides up to the house, a Troopa who's on a balcony shoots at him with his Cobrat. Mario shoots the Troopa in the knee with a sliver plunger. The Troopa hops around on one foot, breaks through the wooden guard rail, falls off the balcony, and lands in a water troff.)

Princess, Toad, and Pronto: All right!

(As the Troopa gets out of the troff, several more Troopas meet up with him. Mario shoots a plunger at a wooden X over the gate to the corral. The X falls down, breaking the lock of the gate, which swings open. The Ostros in the corral see the open gate and run out. The Troopas knock over the troff when they see the Ostros running towards them, but the Ostros just stampede past them and run out of the ranch.)

Troopa: This used to be a safe place for us bad guys!

Mario: Not anymore, hombre! Justice has come to the Wild West!

Pronto: Nice shootin', Plumbosabe!

Toad: Well, Billy the Koopa, now whaddaya think of the Provolone Ranger?

(Toad turns around and sees that Koopa's gone.)

Toad: Hey! Koopa's-

(Koopa opens the front door.)

Koopa: Koopin' away with the gold!

(Koopa, who now has the coins in a pouch, runs out the door, gets on his Ostro, and rides off.)

Koopa: Unhappy trails, sink finks!

Mario: High ho, Ostro, away!

(Mario rides after Koopa on his Ostro.)

Mario: High ho, Ostro, away!

Koopa: Even that provolone bonehead can't catch me now! *snicker*

(Koopa looks back and sees that Mario has caught up with him.)

Koopa: Wha?

Mario: What I need is a handy plumbing tool, and a little frontier know-how!

(Mario swings his plumber snake around.)

Mario: My plumber snake lasso!

(Mario swings the plumber snake at Koopa and it grabs onto the pouch. Mario then pulls the pouch away from Koopa, and pulls Koopa off of his Ostro in the process. The Ostro gets mad and starts honking.)

Koopa: Wait! Ho! Ostro! Whaddaya doin'?

(The Ostro runs off and pulls Koopa, who's holding onto the reins, with him.

Koopa: I'm not on you yet! Come on! Let me on! Hey! Wait up! Wait for me!

Mario: There's no time to round up that rotton reptile! I've gotta free my friends and get this gold to Mushridge!

(Mario rides off. Cut to the town of Mushridge. Mario and Pronto are standing beside the stagecoach. Luigi is on top of the stagecoach, and Princess and Toad are inside.)

Mario: Well, Pronto! We returned the stolen gold to the citizens of Mushridge, and we ran Koopa out of town!

Pronto: Hmmm. We make good team, Plumbosabe!

(Mario and Pronto shake hands.)

Mario: A guy couldn't ask for a better plumber's helper!

(Mario gets on top of the stagecoach.)

Toad: Later, dude!

Princess: Bye Pronto!

Mario: Arrividerci, my faithful Mushroom companion!

(Mario and Pronto wave to each other as the stagecoach drives off.)

Luigi: Ciao, pardner!

Mario: High ho, Ostro, away!

(An old Mushroom man walks over to Pronto.)

Man: Who was that masked man?

Pronto: The Provolone Ranger!

Man: We never even got a chance to thank him! Let alone invite him to dinner!

(Mario hurriedly runs back to Pronto and the man.)

Mario: Did someone mention dinner? And you thought Pronto was fast!

(Mario winks.)

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