(The curtain rises on Water Land and the title is shown. The screen first cuts to Koopa’s Castle in the morning.)

Kootie Pie (just waking up and doesn’t have her bow on): Those dumb Mario Bros!
They ruined five gorgeous presents that were stolen for me! They ruined my America present, my Venice water park, my Milli Vanilli concert, Europe, and my Snoop Dogg concert!

(She throws a tantrum and trashes her room.)

Koopa: What’s the matter, babyscales? Did those mean old OOOOOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Kooky enters the room and leaves a new bow on Kootie Pie’s dresser. It resembles the original one though.)

Koopa: THAT’S IT!!! CLEAN UP THIS STUPID *stomp* JUNKYARD YOU CALL *stomp* YOUR
ROOM NOW!!! NO DOING ANYTHING *stomp* MEAN FOR TWO WEEKS!!! *stomp* AND WHEN I GETBACK *stomp* I BETTER SEE THIS ROOM SPOTLESS!!! *stomp*

(Bully runs into Kootie Pie’s room.)

Bully: I always wondered why she was part of the garbage! This time literally. Now she’s cleaning it!

Kootie Pie: And you’re gonna help or you’re gonna hear me throw the world’s longest tantrum!

(Big Mouth runs in Kootie Pie’s room too.)

Big Mouth: Just like when she got punished after losing America! King Dad made her clean up the room, turn down the stereo, pick up her socks, close her door, get off the telephone, oh the brat wouldn’t stop her-

Bully and Kootie Pie: AWWW SHUT UP! We’ll never get started.

Big Mouth: Your fashion statement won’t be complete unless you put on that bow.

(Kootie Pie puts on the bow and then uses Big Mouth’s magic wand to make the room the way it was when we first saw it. The wand then melts.)

Big Mouth: I didn't say you could use that wand for that purpose! You were supposed to find a warp pipe to dump the trash down, just like we did before, and then we had Sledge Bbbbbbbbrothers do it, oh it's hard work making them work hard, and we contaminated Bbbbbbbbbbrooklyn, turning those real-

Kooky and Bully: OH, SHUT UP!

Kootie Pie: Daddykins, I need the doomsub to take over Water Land. It’s the least you can do since you didn’t make me a Sneaky, Lying, Cheating, Giant Ninjakoopa.

Kooky: I’ve got an even better vehicle than that stupid doomsub!

Kootie Pie: I’d betta get it NOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!

(The top tips from Kootie Pie’s bow generate pink sparks and then everybody ducks as it releases a lightning streak toward the mirror in Kootie Pie’s room and destroys it.)

Bully: Kooky! This is your idea, wasn’t it? I’m sorry for calling you part of the garbage, Kootie Pie.

Koopa: Bully, Kootie Pie, Big Mouth! I present… The Doomyacht!

(It looks like a regular luxury yacht and is made of wood,)

Kooky: And you get to be the captain, Kootie Pie!

Big Mouth: So let’s takeover Water Land!

Kooky: As long as you are quiet for the first half of this crime.

(Cut to Water Land, where Mario and Co. are relaxing on a beach.)

Mario: Rest and relaxation away from those stupid reptiles.

Toad: Why didn’t we come next week? Milli Vanilli and M.C. Hammer are gonna-

Princess: Milli Vanilli again! Ooh, I gotta mark my-

Luigi: Oh no! I gotta make sure I’m not wearing a tuxedo to go to this concert.

Mario: I’ll dress hip when I go t-

Toad: What is that?

Mario and Co: WHAT IS THAT?!

Princess: It’s just another doom thing stupider than that doomship.

Koopa: My doomyacht!

Big Mouth: Hey, Kootie Pie! How would you like to meet Cassanova Koopa?

Kootie Pie: My lizard knight in shining shell armor? Ooh, I wanna!

Bully: What are you doing, Big Mouth?

Koopa: You can’t have him!

Mario: Cuz I turned Luigi into him! *laughs like Kooky* And Lady Fettuccine fell for it! *laughs like Kooky again*

Luigi: But I wasn’t volunteering to kiss a patch of lipstick from scaly lips, Mario.

Kootie Pie: (charging up electricity into her bow) AND – SINCE – YOU – RUINED –MY – DREAM - HUSBAND *breaths hard before letting out a big whine* TAKE THIS!!!

(Kootie Pie releases a pink electric blast from her bow, trying to hit Mario and Luigi, but it misses and destroys an abandoned building behind them. Mario and Co. scream.)

Koopa: Better believe it! You plumb scums are shocked!

Big Mouth: Do it again, do it again!

Kootie Pie: I’m getting my water park built since it can’t be in Venice.

(Mario jumps and hits a ? Block, which gives him a Hammer Suit.)

Mario: Hammer Mario is here to tell you, you won’t be making a water park here. Make a water park out of THIS instead!

(Mario pitches two hammers at Kootie Pie, and they miss.)

Koopa: Get that Mario!

Kootie Pie: I hate when I’m bossed around!

(She releases another electric blast which hits Mario and forces him into the doomyacht really hard. He also loses his Hammer Suit. The sparks disappear off off Mario, then he falls in the water.)

Kooky: Perfect! Now he’ll make a tasty treat for my pet.

(Kooky releases a Boss Bass from the doomyacht.)

Bully: Big Bertha, go munch on a plumber!

Big Mouth: I know you like Brooklyn meat.

Mario: With a bow like that, you really don't wanna make her mad.

(Mario keeps swimming to get away from Boss Bass. He then encounters some Spiny Cheep Cheeps swarming toward him.)

Mario: Yikes!

Boss Bass: Can't I just eat you whole now?

(Mario then finds a ? Block which gives him a Fire Flower.)

Mario: You like Brooklyn spicy meat? Have this free sample!

(Mario shoots a fireball in Boss Bass' mouth, defeating it. He then shoots a Blooper. It disappears and a warp pipe is revealed. Mario swims down it and makes it back with Luigi, Princess, and Toad.)

Kootie Pie: I am so upset!

Toad: I don't care about-

Luigi: No, Toad! You'll only encourage her whiny tantrums!

(Kootie Pie launches an electric blast at Toad, but it misses and hits some trees, knocking them down.)

Koopa: Finish those plumber fools at- WHAT?! How did that Mario survive?

Big Mouth: Kooky's pet was a dummy! All Kootie Pie had to do was make the sparks stick to the doomyacht and Mario would be gone, done, done for, finished, sayanora, ciao, see ya later alligator, game over, wrapped up, the end, hasta la vista, aloha, au revoir, goodbye, after no while and-

Kooky, Bully, Koopa: CRAZY CROCODILES! SHUT UP!

Big Mouth: Wait, I had an hour more left of-

Kootie Pie: SHUT UP!

(Kootie Pie launches a lightning bolt in Big Mouth's mouth and he finally shuts up.)

Luigi: *steps forward* I wasn't the one who volunteered to be Cassanova Koopa and kiss a patch of scaly lips!

(Mario, Toad, and Princess duck behind a tree. Then the entire screen gets covered in pink electricity since Luigi got zapped. Bully carries Luigi to the doomyacht.)

Koopa: I don’t know what you wanna do with Water Land, Kootie Pie.

Kooky: I suggested we conquer it when we were Sneaky, Lying, Cheating, Giant Ninjakoopas!

Bully: But the producers put it in MY voice!

Kootie Pie: But I’m through with a water park! I’m gonna open a chocolate factory!

Toad: What?

(Kootie Pie turns around and gets ready to zap Toad for that comment.)

Toad: I’m… just gonna make like a door and shut up.

Koopa: Here it is!

(Koopa hits a skull icon on the doomyacht and all of the wooden parts it was made of fly off and form the building for the chocolate factory. Koopa is now in his doomsub.)

Mario: Oh no, the doomsub!

Big Mouth: So what reptile candies are we gonna make first? Hmm… Babe Koop!

Kooky: Fifth Koopenue!

Kootie Pie: 3 Koopateers!

Bully: Milky Koop!

Koopa: Quiet! I run this show here! I’ll decide what candies we’re gonna sell! Luigi’s gonna be my Koopa slave!

Toad: No he’s not!

Kootie Pie: What did you say, you fat head?

Toad: Call me fat head once more and I’ll give you-

(She zaps Toad with the electric bow and throws him on the doomsub.)

Big Mouth: Get ‘em, get ‘em!

Mario: It’s you and me.

Kootie Pie: Since you ruined five presents for me and wanna ruin this one too, TAKE THIS!

(Kootie Pie shoots at Mario but misses.)

Kootie Pie: I hate it when I miss!

Princess: Come and get me, scale brain!

(She climbs on ? Blocks that eventually lead to a round, orange figure that’s sleeping in midair after dodging so many of Kootie Pie’s electric blasts.)

Kootie Pie: You’re mine now!

Mario: That’s the Angry Sun! Don’t shoot or he’ll burn us all!

Princess: OH NO!

Kootie Pie: Who’s the Angry Sun?

Mario: That stupid fireball who tries to burn me and Luigi in the ending credits.

(Princess comes down from the ? Blocks back to the ground.)

Kootie Pie: Now I’m gonna take over Water Land and make your kingdom all buy from my chocolate factory! And nothing can stop me!

Mario: Wanna bet, shell brain?

Kootie Pie: Shell brain?! That’s it!

(The song “Without Getting Shocked” starts playing. It’s the same words from “Without Getting Burned”, except burned is replaced by shocked. During the song, Mario and Princess dodge the electric blasts and Bullet Bills from Koopa’s doomsub until they get cornered. The song ends.)

Luigi: Kootie Pie, go easy on them.

Toad: Now we know how your life is!

(Mario splashes some water on Kootie Pie.)

Princess: That Cassanova Koopa joke was the funniest! And you’re not even boss of America anymore!

(Mario and Princess get on the doomsub and make faces at Kootie Pie.)

Mario: Come and give us all you got!

Koopa: NO!

Bully: Stop! Cease and desist, young reptile!

Kooky: Stay back!

Big Mouth: Don’t do it!

Kootie Pie: I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE TELL ME WHAT – TO - DO!!!

Princess: Luigi, Toad! Get a Super Leaf!

Toad: We need this now!

Bully: Not a bad idea!

(Toad uses a Super Leaf for himself and Luigi. They both fly back to land.)

Koopa: Now the prisoners are escaping! Take one and fly up!

(Koopa gives Super Leaves to the Koopalings and himself. They all fly up away from the doomsub. Kootie Pie, still wet, launches one last electric blast which zaps her and the doomsub. When she gets off the doomsub, it explodes.)

Koopa: My doomsub… RUINED! Oh, wait ‘til I-

(Kootie Pie lands next to the angry King Dad and Koopalings.)

Mario: Ooh! Kootie Pie’s gonna really get it!

Luigi: I think this is present number 6!

(Koopa and the Koopalings are all upset now that the doomsub is destroyed.)

Kootie Pie: Um… King Dad, Bully, Kooky, Big Mouth- You look good in those raccoon outfits!

(Koopa picks up the stunned Kootie Pie and walks toward a warp pipe. The kids follow.

Koopa: Just – wait – ‘til – I – get – you – home…

Toad: I think Mario and Luigi should get the video camera and go see what happens. Princess and I are gonna watch Mighty Plumber!

Princess: Tape that episode! I think that’s the one where he makes designs out of pipes!

Toad: Sounds good.

(The Koopas jump down the pipe to Dark Land. Mario and Luigi follow. Cut to Dark Land.)

(Mario and Luigi look through the window of Koopa’s castle and see Wendy scrubbing and mopping floors. Then she proceeds to clean every other room.)

Mario: Once again, Koopa’s giving Kootie Pie the present she deserves.

Luigi: That’s the gift that keeps on giving!

Mario: She can’t be a mean queen when she’s on Koopa’s clean team.

Luigi: Do you always tell a bad joke at the end of every episode?

Mario: It’s a curse, I’m afraid.

(The curtain falls.)

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