Kooptales

By Chocolate Thunder

(The curtain rises on Desert land and the title is shown.)
 
(Mario and Co. walk the scorching sands of the desert, all wearing outfits like archaeologists.)
 
Mario: (looking at a map) Ah, the treasure is in the pyramid.
 
Toad: (sweating) You said that five pyramids ago Mario!
 
Luigi: (in Princess' voice) So which one is it, Mario? And what's this great treasure?
 
Mario: It's the great pyramid of Koopenkhamen!
 
Luigi: (in a tired out voice that's actually his) Where was that great pyramid we're looking for?
 
(Princess takes the map from Mario. She and Toad read it.)
 
Princess and Toad: Five pyramids ago.

(They give Mario a dirty look.)
 
Mario: Whoops, I just wasn't ready.
 
(Everyone turns back and walks five pyramids.)
 
Toad: You burnt off all that spaghetti!
 
Luigi: Look, there's the one!
 
Princess: *looks up* Watch out! It's the Angry Sun!
 
(The Angry Sun swoops down, trying to burn Mario and Co.)

 
Angry Sun (his voice is angry in every line): Nobody enters this pyramid, understand?
 
Mario: Nope!
 
Angry Sun: No, huh? Is that what you said?
 
(The Angry Sun chases Mario and almost sunburns him, but he jumps into an oasis.)
 
Angry Sun: You wanna swim, huh?
 
Mario: Yeah, you ugly ball of steam!

(He splashes oasis water on him.)

Mario: Run for Koopenkhamen's pyramid!
 
(Luigi, Toad, and Princess try to enter but a blue Thwomp comes down, blocking the main warp pipe entrance.)
 
Luigi: Woah! Drop block won't let us in.
 
Thwomp: That's right! Try to come in again and I guarantee I won't miss!
 
Angry Sun: That does it!
 
(The Angry Sun gets so hot we see heat waves across the screen. Mario gets so hot he has to take off his shirt and his cap. The oasis dries up.)
 
Angry Sun: I'll ball of steam you, Mario!

(The heat waves stop. Cut back to the pyramid, where Luigi, Toad, and Princess are. Mario is luring the Angry Sun toward the pyramid where the Thwomp, which is shown in white here, is still blocking the entrance. He goes up when he sees Mario.)
 
Toad: (excited) Get 'em, Mario!
 
(Mario steps in the path of the thwomp. Mario's shirt and cap have somehow reappeared on him.)
 
Thwomp: You want the entrance? Take this!
 
(He crashes down and Mario slides under him, right into the warp pipe that leads to the entrance of the pyramid. Back outside, the Thwomp sees the Angry Sun rushing toward the entrance warp pipe.)
 
Thwomp: Get away from me, you overgrown Fire Flower!
 
(The Angry Sun crashes into the Thwomp and they explode. Mario, now near the pyramid pipe entrance, gets up from his slide and faces it.)

Mario: Whew! I thought I was about to become a spicy cooked meatball!

(He then jumps down the pipe. Cut back to outside the pyramid.)
 
Princess: Now we just gotta go inside to find Mario and the Mushroom Genie's lamp.
 
Luigi: In there?
 
Toad: He will grant us three wishes. This is the treasure that we're seeking, Luigi! And we gotta get it before-

 
(Koopa tears across the desert sands and rams down palm trees in his new "Doomjeep", which resembles a Hummer jeep used for off-roading in the military, only brown and with the capabilities of the doomship. He and his Koopalings are dressed like archaeologists.)
 
Koopa: I do?
 
Kootie Pie: Oh Daddykins! Can I make the first wish when we steal the Mushroom Genie's lamp?
 
Hip (after Koopa shoots a Bob-omb at a group of cactus plants): No, that's-
 
Hop (after the Bob-omb blows up and sends the shards flying): My job!
 
(Cheatsy stomps a button on the floor which shoots a Sledge Brother shell from under the Doomjeep hood in front of the pyramid entrance. The ground shakes when he crashes.)
 
Toad: Oh no! It's King Koopa in-
 
Princess: What is that Koopa riding in?
 
(Luigi sees the Sledge Brother coming out of his shell. He's on his feet and ready or action!)

Luigi: We can find out later,as soon as we beat this overgrown hammerhead!
 
(The Sledge bro. stomps. and shakes Luigi and Princess up. They fall, but Toad gets airborne from jumping. At the same time, Mario's voice is heard screaming.)

 
Cheatsy (after pulling up to the pyramid in the Doomjeep): Wow, King Dad, we can do more Koopa damage in the Doomjeep than in the doomship!
 
Luigi: Doomjeep? Who built that stupid vehicle?
 
Koopa: Who else but that maniac Kooky Von! And don't ask another stupid question, you overgrown piece of celery!
 
(Koopa, Kootie Pie, Cheatsy, Hip, and Hop are all watching from the Doomjeep as the Sledge Bro gets ready to pound Princess and Luigi to a pulp with his sledge, but he sees Toad coming down from jumping from a higher level of the pyramid. The Sledge Bro throws his hammer full force but it misses and he gets stomped by Toad and disappears.)
 
Toad: I nailed that hammerhead, didn't I?
 
Princess: We'd better nail the Mushroom Genie's lamp before Koopa conquers the whole world!
 
Koopa: Not so fast, fungus freaks!
 
(Koopa launches a Bob-omb near the entryway pipe. Toad, Luigi, and Princess jump down the warp pipe. Right after Princess goes down, the Bob-omb explodes, dropping pyramid fragments onto the warp pipe. This blocks the entrance for King Koopa and his Koopalings.)
 
Hip: Drat! That ravioli runt and-
 
Hop: His fungus heads got away!
 
Koopa: That's my line!
 
Kootie Pie (the spots on her bow disappear): We're never gonna get in the pyramid now, are we Daddyums?
 
Koopa: Wrong, my pink-shelled daughter! We're gonna get in this pyramid if it's the last thing I do!
 
(The camera shifts to the top of the pyramid. One of the blocks from the top falls off and Koopa gets the Doomjeep out of the way before the block comes crashing down into the sands. It lands where the Doomjeep was before it moved.)
 
Cheatsy: We can get in! Let's blow up the top of the pyramid. Kootie Pie, press the red button in front of you!
 
(Kootie Pie presses it and the Doomjeep shoots two Bob-ombs at the top. They explode when they crash and a warp pipe is revealed.)
 
Hip: Great aim-
 
Hop: Sweet sister!
 
Cheatsy: Now let's go in that pipe!
 
(Hip, Hop, Cheatsy, Kootie Pie, and Koopa get out of the Doomjeep and start walking up the pyramid to the pipe at the top. They all then jump in the pipe. Cheatsy's face turns orange when he jumps in. The screen cuts back to inside the pyramid, complete with hieroglyphics on the walls, paintings, and torches. If you pay attention to the paintings, you'll see Mario and Co. painted on the walls, but nobody notices.)
 
 
Mario: I wonder where this magic lamp is.
 
(Toad takes out the pyramid map.)

Toad: We gotta go down that red warp pipe!
 
(Mario and Co. jump down it and come out in an underwater area.)
 

 
Mario: I sure need a Fire Flower or Frog Suit.
 
Toad and Princess: Don't we all?
 
Luigi: Try bashing that block over there.
 
(Mario hits the ? Block near him and a Boss Bass comes out and fiercely pursues Mario and Co.)
 
Mario and Co: Now we really need one of those power-ups!
 
(The gang swims away, avoiding the Jelectros that are blocking them.)
 
Luigi: Toad, do you remember which pipe goes to the room with the Mushroom Genie's lamp?
 
Princess: Pipe number 1 (in the floor, swim down), pipe number 2 (passageway in the ceiling), or pipe number 3 (in the wall right in front of them)?
 
Toad: Pipe number 2, hurry!
 
(He points to the hole in the ceiling where the pipe is. Mario and Co. swim up through the ceiling, and jump out of the water and walk across the floor to the pipe.)
 
Mario: Mushroom genie, here we come!
 
(Boss Bass makes a leap out of the water and tries to grab one of our heroes as they jump for the pipe, which has a Venus Fire Trap in it. Boss Bass crashes into the Venus Fire Trap and they both disappear. Mario and Co. go down the pipe and emerge in a room standing on quicksand where there's no other way out.)
 
 
Luigi: Oh no, quicksand!
 
Toad: Oh no, the map of this crazy pyramid! It dissolved in the water!
 
Princess: I'm too pretty to be buried six feet down under now!
 
Mario: This may be the right way to the magic lamp.
 
(Everyone starts screaming as they sink, but we suddenly hear the warp pipe sound. Mario and Co. then fall into a regular room.)
 
Toad: Wow! This place is more dangerous than Castle Koopa.
 
Mario: Forget Koopa! Look!
 
 
(The screen cuts to the Mushroom genie's lamp, which is a lust, shiny gold\ color. It sits on a rock Super Mushroom platform.)
 
Princess: (running toward the lamp) I'm gonna make my first wish to get rid of Koopa's plans forever!
 
When she grabs the lamp, it explodes in her face, sending her back into Mario, Luigi, and Toad.
 
Koopa: Looking for this?

(He holds up the lamp and laughs. Then he rubs it.)
 
Mario: Oh no! We really gotta get that lamp now before those Koopas make evil wishes!
 
Toad: With all those rotten reptiles combined, they'll get fifteen wishes!
 
Luigi: How can we help the Mushroom genie when we can't even help ourselves? We're powerless!
 

 
Koopa: That's right! Fungus face, I wish that Mario and his friends were out of this pyramid right now!
 
Mushroom Genie: Oh no! Are you sure?
 
Cheatsy: Yes. Or we won't wish you free!
 
Mushroom Genie: I have no choice, you lousy lizard!
 
(He zaps them and they wind up outside the pyramid.)
 
Kootie Pie: Nice wish, Daddyums, BUT IT'S MY TURN NOW!
 
(She snatches the lamp.)
 
Kootie Pie: I wish for the most complete jewelry set in the world!
 
(The genie grants the wish. Kootie Pie starts cheering!)
 
Cheatsy: I wish to be the sneakiest reptile who ever lived!
 
(Cheatsy gets his wish.)
 
Mushroom Genie: (crying) I wish all this would stop!
 
Hip: I wish to have super hero ice powers!
 
(Hip gets his wish. Kootie Pie starts whining.)
 
Kootie Pie: I'm not finished! I wish for-

(Hip freezes her with his new ice breath.)
 
Hop: I wish to have a Hammer Suit!
 
(He gets his wish.)
 

 
Koopa: Enough! Your rotten wishes aren't making any sense!
 
Mushroom Genie: You and your kids all have two wishes left!
 
Koopa: Good!
 
(Cut back to outside the pyramid with Mario and Co.)
 
 
Mario: There must be another way in.
 
Luigi: Look! The Doomjeep!

Doomjeep (talking like the car from Knight Rider): What are you doing, Luigi? What are you doing, Mario? Don't think about it, Toad! I won't go easy on you, Princess!
 
Mario: Hey, it talks!
 
Doomjeep: Shut up, faucet freak! I don't take sweet talk from actors, writers, or pasta pulverizing plumbers!
 
Toad: I betcha can’t break that block covering that warp pipe.
 
Doomjeep: WATCH ME!
 
(The Doomjeep shoots a beam at the block and it turns to dust. Mario and Co. jump down. The screen cuts back to the pyramid, where Koopa and the kids are having a party!)
 

 
Mario: Give the lamp up, you creepy crocodile!
 
Luigi: Now!
 
Mushroom Genie: Can you guys free me now that these reptiles are out of wishes?
 
Toad: We gotta get the lamp from Koopa.
 
Koopa: Make me, Mushroom head!
 
(The song I’m a Hurricane starts up. Hip keeps using his ice, Hop keeps using his hammers, Kootie Pie and Cheatsy sneak and throw jewelry at Mario and Co. They keep ducking and dodging. Mario kicks the lamp out of Koopa’s hand and grabs it. The song ends.)
 
 
Mario: I wish Koopa and those turtle brains were back in Dark Land!
 
(The genie grants that wish.)
 
Koopa: I’ll get you, Mario! Where’s my Doomjeep?
 
Luigi: I wish we could have the finest Italian dinner right here, right now.
 
(The genie grants the wish. The location is set up like a buffet.)
 
Princess: I wish for the genie to be free.
 
(The genie gets freed and joins in the dinner.)
 
 
Mushroom Genie: I couldn’t thank you enough.
 
Luigi: I thank you for stopping those turtle brains.
 
Toad: I’m just glad we were able to find the lamp. What’s your favorite dish, Mario?
 
Mario: Steak and Fettuccine, SANDS down!
 
Mushroom Genie: Who writes this guy’s lines?
 
Princess: It’s a running gag for every episode. Mario always makes a bad joke. But he’s my hero!
 
(She gets up and kisses Mario.)
 
Mario: That was-
 
Toad, Luigi, Princess, Mushroom Genie: Don’t even try to say it!
 
Luigi: ‘Cause I didn’t get mine yet...
 
Princess: Maybe in the next episode.
 
(Everybody except Luigi laughs.)
 
Mushroom Genie: Now that’s funny!
 
(The curtain falls.)

The End

Did you like this submission?
If you would like to send some feedback to the author of this submission, please complete this form.

What's your name? 
This is required.

What's your Email address? 
Only enter this if you would like the author to respond.

How do you rate this submission? 
Please rate on a scale of 1 - 10, 10 being best.

Does this submission belong in Little Lemmy's Land? 
Little Lemmy's Land is designed to include the top ten percent of submissions.

Would you like to see more from this author? 

Comments and suggestions:

 
ZY.Freedback.com: Stunning, fast, FREE!
FREE feedback form powered by Freedback.com
Freedback.com

Go back to the list of episodes.
Go back to Lemmy’s Mario Cartoons.
Go back to my main page.