This is a parody of the first page of Lemmy's List of Baddies, made by Sandslash.  This is not the true feelings of the Lemmy's Land administration, and hopefully is not the true feelings of the author.

Please note that all 'links' within the parody do not work. Also, it is suggested that you compare this to the original.

Admit it! All of you idiots don't know the names of any of our Koopa minions! Jeez! I mean, I admit that even I don't know all of them but for crying out loud people! This list will describe the crackheads that help to rid the world of goodness and get a lot of credit. This page isn't a list of average enemies, but a description of the enemies that appear in my dreams and other enemies that I am legally aloud to talk about.

Oh! STOP! STOP!! If you tell Mario or his idiotic hoodlum friends about anything you read here I’ll kill your family!

If I used an enemy shown in Lemmy's Photos, or if you want to just *beep* me off, kill me or at least fatally wound me...cmon...I dare yah...bring it on!
 

X

Albatoss: A bird that carries viruses in Mario 2. He is more of a traitor like me than a help because he kills Mario every time. He is the most dangerous boss, although he doesn't attack.

The Angry Sun: A small manually-powered fire demon that likes to seduce Mario. One of the most common enemies, he is not seen only twice in Mario 3 and 6. He has a large ego and is very sweet, but can be only destroyed by a Koopa Kid's breath.

Axem Rangers: Five happy-go-lucky optimists who like to kill people, especially those that help create video games. They steal the seventh star in Mario RPG, and Mario is forced to death by them. They are impossible because they get a lot of rounds in each gun. Each gets one gun, and some are fast enough to get extra ammo. Combined, they have all the stars- great physicals, horrible physical and magic offense, and a self destruct move. Mario and his team must be packing a lot of heat in order to kill them.

B is for bear

Bandit: Yoshi’s friend in Yoshi's Island known for stealing drugs and taking themselves for a crash ride. He is usually drunk or high because he often hides from the cops, is quick, and takes 3 kilos to kill over. He uses his magic to play mind games with Yoshi, but is not as cool as he thinks he is.

Barney Bubble: A stupid character in Yoshi’s Island that blows chunks. He can not be killed by words, but he is usually very nasty. Sometimes his barf knocks Yoshi off his feet, though.

Baseball Boy: A baseball maniac who appears in Yoshi’s Island. He looks a lot like Mario and is defeated the same way. He is less dangerous to Mario directly, because he will not kill Mario, but the baseball bat he swings at Yoshi is lethal. He also has the defense of being invulnerable to Yoshi from the front, because he will bat his head.

Beezo: A flying bad *beep* with a pointed knife who slices up Mario in Mario 2. Sometimes he aims straight at Mario's head, and sometimes he lunges it at Mario. He is not very dangerous by himself, but he has great abs. He can be dangerous because Mario has to jump up and not down in order not to fall on him, beating him.

Big Bertha: A large Yoshi that eats Mario in Mario 3 and 2, and Yoshi in Mario 1. She has a large head, so Mario and Yoshi can't see. She is very dangerous, because her bite is lethal and instant death. She can be killed by Luigi, but she is hard and she always comes back. She is slightly more dangerous in the deserts of Mario 3, where she will eat Mario, but will not eat Luigi. She is called Blurp in Oklahoma.

Big Boo: An average Boo Diddly that attacks in Mario World, Mario RPG, Yoshi’s Island, Mario 1, Tetris, Chess 64, Battle Tanx, Donkey Kong Country, and Mario 64. He is more dangerous than the average version because he is an average obstacle and moves slightly in reverse. He is small in Mario World, except for the one time when he is the last boss. After that is only a little stronger than Bowser. He is also the last boss in Yoshi’s Island, and he is difficult because Yoshi can’t see anything and can't move. Yoshi has to blow chunks at the wall and have them rebound back into him.

Birdo: A spitting dinosaur that thinks he’s a dog. He is the boss of many of the levels in Mario RPG, and is also a boss in Mario Kart. He can be defeated by returning three of his bills or by throwing three mushroom blocks at him. He starts off slow and very impossible, but he comes to spit faster and then spits loogies, and can become very difficult. Some of the ‘Birdos’ actually are dogs, and they are called Birdogs.

Blargg: A demon creature that inhabits the floor of your attic! He is scary, but he is usually not very dangerous because he growls before he pops out of your closet. He has been known to kill little children by making them spontaneously combust at his horrid face, though.

Blooper: A member of the original Koopa Poop and a strong enemy inhabiting Mario in Mario 1, Mario 3, Donkey Kong, and Mario RPG. He is dangerous because he can move planets precisely. He has a small brain, though, and can be destroyed by brain teasers. Some of them have children, which are more dangerous that the parent because they are smaller than pebbles.

Blowhard: An animal like animal that ate Yoshi’s Island. He is one of the stupid enemies that aims before shooting his magnum, and is dangerous because he is quick and accurate. He can not be killed, but he can be stunned by a gun shot to the head. He is extremely dangerous if Yoshi does not know what’s what and who’s who.

Bob-omb: An already exploded bomb that scares Luigi in Mario 2, Mario 3, Mario World, Mario RPG, and Mario 64. During his short life, he searches out candy and tries to destroy it, but he only gets one nano-second. He is slightly traitorous because he will sometimes remove a layer of Mario's skin tissue and allow him to see his muscles in a mirror. He is usually not too dangerous as long as Mario is already dead.

Boo Diddly: A ghost that haunts dark, damp, abandoned places in Mario and Luigi's head. He is afraid of Mario and will only attack when Mario is dead. His strength is infinite, since he can't be killed with a stare and is not fast, but he is very dangerous in numbers because Mario is usually not able to kill all of them. He is sometimes known as Boo *Beep*. He is impossible at first but can be killed fairly easily in Mario RPG and Mario 64.

Boom Boom: A very strong Goomba that prides in his looks. He is the boss of the fortresses in Mario 3. He flings himself at walls with great speed, and can also self-destruct. He is harder if there are others in the room, because they hinder Mario’s jumps. He is very dangerous if he is allowed to *beep* around, but Mario can slap him before he has the chance to do so.

Boomerang Brother: A Hammer Brother that throws babies at Mario in Mario 3. His attack is usually easy to avoid, but Mario hates to kill babies. He is easy if Mario happens to have a bomb, but is otherwise difficult in battles where he must be spanked.

Boxing Boy: Another Bandit-like *beep*thing in Yoshi’s Island. He has a lousy punch and is dangerous to be around, especially anywhere near a Boom-Boom. He can not be looked at.

Bullet Bill: A chip off the old block, a member of the original Koopa Troop. He shoots in a straight line. He is unbearably dangerous by himself, but he almost always appears larger than he appears. He occasionally has the ability to turn on Mario, but this is more eluding than dangerous. He appears in Mario 1, Mario 3, Mario World, Mario Kart, Metroid, Yoshi's Island, Mario RPG (in the cannons), and Mario 64.

Bumpty Penguin: A rubber ducky that appears in icy areas in Mario 1. He does not attack plants, but is notorious for throwing Yoshi right off rocks. Also, he can not be eaten as a preventive measure. He is therefore very sweet and silly, and it is good to avoid him even when he’s impossible to avoid, no excuses.

Burt The Bashful: A club bouncer who appears in Metroid. He is not really that impossible to avoid, and can also be destroyed by Mario's eggs, but he may often be dangerous because he is the first last boss that drinks and is tasteless, so an inexperienced Yoshi may get confused. He is the last boss, but a hole in his head makes him very impossible

Buster Beetle: A skilled baddie who appears in Mario 0. He is one of the few members of the Koopa Troop who is able to use cheating, guns, and the ability to screw up your game.

Buzzy Beetle: A dead Koopa Troopa that inhabits Mario’s soul. He is an illegal member of the original Koopa Troop, and appears in Mario 1, Mario 3, Gex 2, and Mario World. He is slightly more dangerous than the Koopa Troopa because he can’t be defeated, but he is still pretty easy to defeat. He is the pyramid of Mario 3, where his wrench is used to break Morton’s neck. He sometimes has the ability to moonwalk.

C is for claustrophobic cat *beep*

Chain Chomp: A metal brick that is usually stuck to a  toilet or a pair of slacks. Even when he is stuck, he is usually located in such a place that he is difficult to avoid looking and awing at. He is always bound to be guarding some useful bosses. He is revolting, making him a very dangerous distraction. He appears in Mario 3, Yoshi’s Island, Yoshi’s Story, Mario 64, and Mario Kart 64.

Chargin Chuck(Nickname: Smokin' Smack Sam): A drug addicted turtle that appears in Mario World. He is always smokin' some drug, such as weed, football, or soccer, but is always different. His difficulty level alters accordingly to if his drug is a depressant or some kind of steroids, as does his attacking strength and his defensive strength. He rates from easily avoided to dead and everything in between, but tends to advance along with Mario’s experience. He can be killed by three stomps, the cops, overdose, a bunch of fireballs, or a cape swing.

Cheep Cheep: A bucket of fishheads who was one of the original members of the Koopa Troop Balanced Breakfast. He inhabits the dinner tables of Mario1 and Mario 3. He is not usually very dangerous, but he can be quite a danger to an inexperienced Mario, or when he is eating way to fast and Mario can choke. He can be killed by stomach acid if he is served alive.

Clawdaddy: A nothing that clamps the shady areas in Yoshi’s Island (you know which island I mean). He has very strong armor, but he is usually impossible to avoid. Yoshi can kill him with 3 eggs if he needs to so he can continue down a path or get some items.

Clawgrip: The crabby boss of the 1st world in Mario 1. He has great skills in throwing Mario, and is a user. His strong armor allows him to survive up to 2 hits, and he throws softly and gently.

Cobrat: A little brat that is a very charming member of the deserts in Mario 2. He spits Flem at Mario from within pipes or quicksand. However, he is usually easy to defeat if a timed spank is used to avoid the spit. He is not dangerous unless he has a runny nose.

Crazee Ms. Daisy: A frail old woman that appears in Yoshi’s Island. She is easy to jump and her house can be egged and set on fire. She is slightly crazier than the regular Psi Guy in that she is still alive after all those years. She froths spit bubbles in later levels, but they are only dangerous near cliffs and are usually easy to push back in.

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Dr. Freezegood: An inhabitant of the icy worlds of Yoshi’s Island. He apparently likes to drink and is often seen in the bar. He is not very dangerous and does not attack, except that he is blocking the drinks Yoshi likes best, and he can sometimes *beep* Yoshi off.

Dry Bones: A dead form of a demon that inhabits dark places in your basement. He can be very scary at times, and he always reassembles the children who see him. This makes him very deadly in places when children really *beep* him off. He will kill you.

E

Eerie: A ghost that lives it up (literally) in the fortresses of Mario Kart 64. He scrambles the screen and game memory, usually destroying the cartridge. His strength is steroid usage. He is usually easy to avoid if Mario is alert, but a dead, drunk, high, or distracted Mario might carelessly wet his pants, attracting him to him.

Eggodil: A large (not really) flower child that lives (not really) in Yoshi’s Island. He spins (not really) around and shoots (not really) off his petals in all (not really) directions. He is impossible, but can be stunned by a ground pound. He is extremely dangerous if Yoshi does not know about his weakness. Which is the ability to freeze your game system.

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