This is a parody of Lemmy's Tourist Attractions, made by Wendy. This is not the true feelings of the Lemmy's Land administration, and hopefully is not the true feelings of the author.

Please note that all 'links' within the parody do not work. Also, it is suggested that you compare this to the original.

Lemmy's Art Museum: Marble busts of Mario characters. Extremely boring.

Morton's Basics: This section teaches you how to read and navigate websites. If you can't already do these things, you can't visit this section.

Larry's Bios: Biographical information on Mario characters. Only remotely of interest if you have to do a report on one of them.

Lemmy's Captions: Hourly contest that forces busy people to waste time labeling pictures. The results are often illegible.

Iggy's Casino: Give Lemmy all your money, then go away.

Lemmy's CDs: Illegal tunes to download. This page reads your computer files to determine where you live, and sends the police directly to your door.

Lemmy's Drawing Board: Whenever Lemmy gets tired of his land, he deletes all sections except this one.

Lemmy's Forum: A funny thing will happen when you click on this link.

Lemmy's Fun Fiction: Contains a million zillion college-level epics about the Mario series. Would keep you occupied for all eternity, except that they're so boring you should just go on to the next section.

Lemmy's Funnies: Lemmy's a funny one. Stare at his hilarious antics. Laugh meanly.

Lemmy's Games: 41 versions of Solitaire.

Lemmy's Game Guides: Be heckled for your inability to solve the childishly simple puzzles featured in Mario games. Might I recommend a Mario Paint taunting?

Lemmy's HTML Guide: Now YOU can learn to steal other people's layouts! If you have any useless morals, your dumb website will remain colorless and unpopular. Unlike mine, you unworthy scumbag.

Lemmy's Interviews: Mario characters are subjected to medieval torture methods just so voyeurs like you can find out their deep, dark secrets. This is the largest Written-Word Section on a Specifically Mario-Related Website Belonging to a Koopaling that exists on the Earth Internet.

King Koopa's Item Chest: This section is completely empty, because King Koopa has been robbed blind. Twit.

Susan's Koopa Trading Card Game: .5 Cool Points to anyone who can defeat me in this game. It's difficult because I don't follow the rules, which are impossible to understand anyway.

Little Lemmy's Land: Everything here is mysteriously shrunken.

Lemmy's Labyrinths: I don't know what that word means.

Lemmy's Leaders: These are the people I take orders from. Uh, I mean...  ignore that man behind the curtain!

Lemmy's Life: If I had one, you could read about it here. Another wasted section.

Ludwig's Life:  I'm banned from this section. So are you. Lemmy's Land accepts no responsibility for anything that happens pursuant to you clicking on the previous link.

Lemmy's Lines: Stand around and wait here. Maybe there's something worthwhile at the other end.

Lemmy's Links: Well, after visiting Lemmy's Land I imagine you just want to eat your own face off. But if you leave your eyes intact, here are some other lousy webpages to make your pathetic life seem even worse.

Lemmy's List of Baddies: Dossiers on your school bully, your ex, and that thing that lives under your bed.

Lemmy's Madlibs: Pour in the beans and get fresh coffee. You look like you need it. Must have a clean filter. Javajavajavajavajava...

Lemmy's Mario Cartoons: Download R-rated episodes that, for some reason, never made it to TV.

Lemmy's Mazes: If you're lucky, you may be able to get out of Lemmy's Land through this section. But probably you'll get lost and die.

Lemmy's Mysteries: Who are you? What are you doing here? Why are you in that handbasket?

Lemmy's Petition: Help convince the government to make me President. Your entry could bring about the end of civilization as we know it!

Wendy's Phonebooth: Don't bother, you'll just get a busy signal.

Lemmy's Photos: Blackmail material and other incriminating evidence.

Lemmy's Poll: Since I like to invade my tourists' privacy, you must respond to these incessant queries. Answer quickly, or you shall be flung into the Gorge of Eternal Peril.

Lemmy's Reviews: Tourists tell what they *really* think about those &%(@# Mario games. You're not old enough to look here.

Lemmy's Scribbles: Chicken scratch.

Lemmy's Spirit Page: I have never and will never call this a section. Therefore, it is not on this page. You can only see it if you're from TSF... whatever that is.

Roy's Sports Hall: Each week a heathen and a horrible monster are thrown into the ring for a fight to a gory death, just for the entertainment of brainless spectators like you. View the battles and throw rocks.

Lemmy's Stuff: This section is empty. I just like the word stuff. Stuff.

Lemmy's Super Koopas: Find out just how few Koopaling votes you've managed to scrape together, and grovel at the feet of those who have way more than you ever will.

Lemmy's Thought of the Day: Philosophical ramblings about life, the universe, and cheese.

Lemmy's Trimmings: You can't have Thanksgiving without annoying relatives, and you can't have Halloween without cheap decorations.

Lemmy's Updates: A minute-by-minute recount of everything I've done since this site opened. Includes information on my sleep habits, a list of everything I've eaten, and a tally of bathroom breaks.

White Ice Castle Gym: Battle me for the title of Conquistador. Meant for visitors from Russia, this is a Teletubbies section.

Go back to Lemmy's Lines.
Go back to my main page.