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Dear Journal,

I did not have a very interesting day today; just two sessions of school and some work on Ice land. I did, however, speak with Morton to find out how he has been doing since his birthday. I will summarize what Morton said because I would never be able to write down what he actually said.

Since his birthday, Morton has chosen a place for his castle in Koopish Desert Land. He worked with some architects to design the castle, and building has begun. The castle is supposed to be done in a week.

Morton found a horse, which he named Camella. The horse is sandy colored and likes to neigh. He also got a dog-named Sandy, who is also a sandy color. It is a good thing they are different sizes or else I would never be able to tell them apart.

Morton continues to go to school on a regular basis. This is good, because it is very easy to slack off without a predetermined schedule. He is learning about Desert Land so that he will be able to rule more effectively.

Morton has been faring very well since his birthday. I hope you appreciate the time it took me to find out all this information amidst everything else Morton was talking about.

Dear Journal,

I had a breakthrough with Ice Land today. One of my advisors suggested that I borrow land elsewhere so that I can grow and sell plants. Plants are very valuable in Ice Land because there are not many. Ice Land does, however, have a lot of oil, so oil is not as valuable in Ice Land as it used to be or as it is in other lands. I had a conference with Ice Land, and the outcome of the conference was we traded 1000 square miles of land. I got some fertile land for growing plants, and Larry got a chunk of the oil field. Larry and I are both pleased with the deal so far. Iggy tried to trade some of Giant Land, but a deal could not be settled upon. I think Iggy really wants to trade with Wendy, but she was busy today.

My dog, a golden retriever named Shadow, was very cute today. I was teaching Roy how to ride a ball in the learning exchange class when Shadow jumped onto one of the balls scattered around my room and started rolling around. It was really funny, and I had to take a picture.

Ludwig went to the dungeon today for messing up Larry’s plants again. He should get out tomorrow, and I don’t want to be around when he does.

Dear Journal,

Ludwig has been such a pain today. He is wreaking havoc like usual. I am trying to do some work on Ice Land, particularly in managing the deal with Larry, but he is being too noisy. He has also done stuff like knock over Larry’s plants, lock Iggy in his closet, and pop my favorite ball. Bowser is out right now at a meeting of some kind and that’s why Ludwig is getting away with this. I hope Bowser gets back soon.

The weather has begun to get cooler. I am beginning to feel more active. I get less active in the hot summer because I love the cold. I will be able to handle more soon because it will get cooler. That does mean, however, that I may have less time to deal with Lemmy’s Land.

Today I had to do a room check on the servants. The servants have their own quarters in the castle and they bunk for to a room. I get to check on them and make sure they are doing their job and are not making any plots against me. Everybody passed today, although I found a few being lazier than usual.

Bowser, please get home soon and make Ludwig shut up!

Dear Journal,

When Bowser got home yesterday, we had a long session of Koopa Court to determine what to do with Ludwig. Koopa Court resembles court on the planet Earth, but Bowser is the judge, and all the Koopas that are not on trial are the jury. Usually, Koopa Court is quick, but we had a heated debate about what Ludwig’s punishment should be, what he is guilty and not guilty of, and bringing up lots of evidence. Ludwig will go to the dungeon for a week… without food.

I have started to plant on the fields I got from Grass Land. I planted a lot of squash plants because they are the rarest. The land promises to get me lots of money.

I saw Morton driving his doomship today. He was making very wide turns. The doomship is difficult to operate, but he will learn eventually.

I feel much better now that the weather is beginning to get cooler.

Dear Journal,

War! We Koopalings often battle for space because Bowser encourages us to. I own Ice Land, the biggest land, so I also own the biggest army. I am not afraid of any of the other armies, although I will not fight in Desert Land if I can avoid it. This time, Ludwig has attacked me. I am rarely attacked, but Ludwig… has a problem. I don’t expect a problem with this war.

I went to school today despite the war. I learned a lot of Physics, my favorite subject. I hope that-

Oh I forgot! Wendy told me she was going to fight on my side in the war. If Ludwig had any chance, he doesn’t have any now.

What was I going to say? Oh yes, I hope that I learn a lot about Physics so that I am an expert. Maybe I will be able to change solids from one substance to another. Can I make gold?

Ludwig will surely think again before going to war against me!

Dear Journal,

Ludwig is being a harder opponent than I expected. It seems he has invented a heat ray that destroys an Ice Lander even if it only comes near them. Since I don’t fight in war, I surprised Ludwig by sneaking around behind his line and freezing him. I thought that would end the war, but all his soldiers are actually robots with preprogrammed orders. The war will continue until I can destroy all the robots. Anyway, this is why I couldn’t write for a while.

I have still managed to go to school so that Bowser won’t yell at me. I did not, however, hold Koopa Learning Exchange classes. They usually go on hold in case of war.

What will I gain when I beat Ludwig? Koopa Court will have to decide this.

Dear Journal,

The war finally ended today. I defeated Ludwig's invented army. I must admit, however, that he was a very worthy opponent. Now that the war is over, Koopa life will continue as usual. I held my ball riding class this afternoon because the war ended in the morning. Ludwig will not be punished, except by the land he lost during the war. I earned 50 thousand square miles of land on the border of Ice Land and Pipe Land. I don't have much use for the land, except for trading it in exchange for better land.

Tomorrow I will observe the war's damages and start rebuilding. It is more important, however, to not let the war faze me because another war could happen at any time.

Dear Journal,

Nothing important has happened in the past couple of days. I dealt with Ice Land after the war, but that is not an unusual thing. I think I will write about how the castle works. Each of our castles are very large. It has a first floor for a kitchen, a dining room, a ball room, and a Koopa Lounge, which is a room for relaxation.

The second floor gives access to my siblings large apartments. We each get our own living quarters, complete with all the rooms you might find in a regular Mushroom house. They are all built the same, although they are designed very differently. The doors do lock, of course, and unfortunately we often do have to lock the doors.

The third floor is for servants. Our castle is also connected to a large mall, which sells everything you can think of doubled. Of course, we all charge outrageous prices. That is why we are rich. I own shops related to toys, specialty ball stores, magical tricks, pranks, and cold things, including food. The castle also has its own hotel for wealthy Koopas. People elect to shop or stay at the castle because among Koopa we are considered heroes.

I promised Iggy I would show him how to play Bridge, a card game I learned while visiting Earth. Actually, I wasn't supposed to go to Earth so don't tell my father! Anyway, I have to go.

Dear Journal,

A VIK (Very Important Koopa) came to visit today. His name is Nick Koopa, and he is my father's nephew. That makes him my cousin. He is very powerful, and has a wand that allows him to control the elements, including earth, wind, water, and fire. He was very friendly around Bowser, whom he adores, but was not so friendly to us.

He tormented Ludwig by throwing boulders at him. Roy was defeated by a great wave of water. He shrunk Iggy. He dehydrated Wendy. He froze Morton. He blew Larry away. I ran away after he shot fire at me. Fortunately, my magic ball absorbed the fire so I didn;t get burned.

Bowser says Nick might be staying awhile. A long while. He may be given a land. If he is, it will be Underground Land, which is located past Pipe Land. I hope he doesn't stay, but if he does, I may have to test my freeze gun on him. If that doesn't work...

Dear Journal,

I don't think Nick Koopa will be bothering me for a while. We were all bored today (how could that happen unless we have a plot) and I convinced him to play marbles with me. Little did he know that I had rigged the bag. I let him go first, but I used a remote control to send his marble way off target. Then it was my turn. I used to remote control to hit a marble out of the circle and right into him. Of course, the marble was a freeze pellet and he froze. I left him frozen for about an hour and then I let him thaw. I am the sneakiest!

In other news, today I defeated Mario! Or at least I think I did. You will have to read the story about it. I guess I had a good day today.

I think I heard Nick say something about turning Wendy into a human...

Dear Journal,

I'm sorry I didn't write for a while, but Nick stole you! I guess my freezing him didn't scare him. If I know him, he probably wasn't frozen but pretended he was. I hope he didn't read you! Oh well, I supposed you really don't contain any secrets.

Today, all of us Koopas went to see our grandparents. They live in Grass Land, so it was a long trip. The trip was boring because we are not allowed to bring games into our limo.

At least my grandparents were fun. They played games with us and were very affectionate, although most of my siblings didn't like that part. Overall though, I don't like going to see my grandparents because of the long car trip.

Dear Journal,

Would you like to know what Nick did today? Neither did I, but I'm going to tell you anyway. He snuck up behind Wendy and turned her into a human. She really looks like one. AND he took over her mind so that she would have to do his bidding.

Nick sent Wendy to Earth to do spying. He obviously has his mind set for conquering the planet. Doesn't he realize that Mario would never let that happen? His strategy is really lame... Okay, I admit it's kind of a good idea. Anyway, I'll keep you posted on GUIH...

Sorry about that. I just heard Wendy scream. I guess the plan failed, or at least she's annoyed at Nick. Hmm... Wendy can do almost anything when she's mad. Maybe she'll try to beat up Nick. I hope so!!!

Dear Journal,

I was too busy to write yesterday because Nick and Wendy were the stars, or perhaps failures of the day. We Koopas are not allowed to transform a sibling without Bowser's permission, but Nick managed to convince Bowser that he was trying to spy on Mario's attacking plans against Bowser. With the support of the entire Koopa army, Nick and the transformed Wendy went to find Mario and study them. He came back with a notebook of impressive looking battle plans. He also had many jewels that he had stolen from Earth.

Bowser almost gave Nick full control of our army when Larry raced into the throne room carrying Nick's journal. Apparently, as I had suspected, he was planning to take us over and eventually become king himself. Bowser used his superior magic to zap Nick's and sent him away. Of course, I know that Nick will be back, and with a better plan than ever. Some one as smart as Nick can never be ultimately defeated.

I should stop writing because Bowser has posted an award of 100 coins to the Koopaling who can untransform Wendy. It was kind of forgotten when Nick was sent away, and she is screaming like crazy!

Dear Journal,

Yesterday I did not write because it was an important religious holiday. We were not allowed to go to school or meetings. We Koopas follow a very special religion that is based on our divinity. The holiday, which we call Natalikoopa, is in celebration of the very first Koopa, whom we call DAD. We believe that DAD was a regular turtle until HE was electrically charged by lightning. The lightning caused DAD to grow spikes on HIS shell, to walk upright, and to become much smarter than the other turtles. DAD went on to conquer Dark Land, although no one really cared because they could not see so they only scratched out a meager living there anyway.

As far as I know, my family and my family’s cousins are the only people that follow this religion because we are the only ones who could be descendants of DAD; we are the Koopas. Most Mario foes, such as Goombas and Koopa Troopas, follow OmniKoopant, which represents us as being gods. Of course, I know that I’m not really a god, but why would I want to ruin their culture?

I don’t like going to worship services because I’m not allowed to ride my ball or do anything fun. I don’t think any of my siblings like it either, since the services take the entire day. Ludwig doesn’t like it because he’s not allowed to even scribble down an idea for an invention, let alone build one. Roy doesn’t like it because he has to be nice to us. Iggy doesn’t like it because we’re forced to be humble, so he’s not allowed to show off the strength he doesn’t have. Wendy doesn’t like it because we’re not allowed to think of ourselves so we can not do normal things like comb our hair or even put on nice clothes. Morton probably likes it the least because he can’t talk, except when reading in the prayer book, for the entire day. Larry doesn’t like it because he can only hope that one of his servants remembers to water his plants, since he is not allowed to.

Fortunately, as part of a different religious tradition, we are actually forced to do all the things we wanted but couldn’t do yesterday today, so there is no school or meetings again. Today is one of the best days of the year. The only problem is that Roy is making up for what he didn’t do yesterday, and that potentially means a lot of pain. Oh well, I guess you can’t have it all.

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