Hey! This is private! Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were one of my siblings. This is my journal. I write what I do and think in here. If you read it, maybe you’ll learn more about Koopa life.

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Dear Journal,

Long time, no update. To be honest, I sort of forgot about you and was writing in another journal. Don't worry, it's not a secret love affair or anything. Ugh, I can't believe I just wrote the word love. Hate it.

It's been getting hot again here in Dark Land. Even in Ice Land it's getting warmer, warmer than it usually is thts time of year... and that's not good for the ice business, which is not good for me. Ice Land exports ice to the other lands, but hot weather makes ice harder to find and ship. That means less money for my subjects, and that means less tax money for me. More important, however, is that I just hate the heat. Hot temperatures make it harder for me to concentrate, which doesn't help me in school. I am required to attend 180 sessions of school in the year, and I prefer to take most of those sessions over the summer. This way, during winter and Ice Land's busy season, I'm not stuck in school when I could be solving problems and finding more ways to make money. Still, it's very tempting to simply blow off the summer and take care of school and Ice Land when the weather gets cool again.

Nobody knows this, but I have secretly been training my dog Shadow to do ball tricks like me. This is an impressive achievement, considering that all Shadow wanted to do was chase the ball, and then became very nervous whenever he stepped on it. While he isn't as good as me, his tricks are very impressive, and his body posture allows him to do some things that I can't. He'll be a nice complement to my ball act on Wendy's birthday in July, especially since Wendy will be watching, not helping me.

Since it's June 1, I have a whole month in which to work put a plan against the plumbers. We have to attack them at least one a month, or else we get in big trouble. Last month I trapped the door to their house so that whoever touched the door knob first would get a huge shock. Unfortunately, I forgot that Mario's rubber gloves would ground out the electric charge, and I had no back-up plan except to use my Freeze Gun, and that didn't work. I liked the idea of planting a trap in their house, so maybe this month I'll dig a huge hole under their entrance carpet so that they'll unexpectantly fall in. I'm still working out the kinks of that one.

Well, it's getting late, and it's too hot too stay up very long anyway. After school tomorrow, I want to work on my magic and see if I can learn some new tricks that can help me out, especially advanced transformation techniques. For now though, it's time to go to bed. Good night!

Is there any aspect of Koopa life you would like to see me talk about? If so, Email me!

Go to page 2, starting September 3, 1998.

Go to page 3, starting October 6, 1998.

Go to page 4, starting February 2, 1999.

Go to page 5, starting January 14, 2001. 

Dear Journal,

Hi! My name is Lemmy Koopa. I am part of a large family of 7 children. My siblings are Ludwig, who is older than me, Roy, Iggy, Wendy, Morton, and Larry. My father’s name is Bowser, and my mother’s name is Clawdia. We are all part of the Koopa clan. The Koopa clan is a group of thieves whose goals are to take over the Mushroom Universe, or where we live. We are always stopped by two plumbers named Mario and Luigi, and their friends. Of course, we are not always evil. We play, work, eat, sleep, go to school, and do what most good Mushroom citizens do, except that sometimes we have to do some fighting.

Today, I spent the day looking for a present for Morton. Morton’s birthday is in one week, and since he will be turning three, it is very important. When a Koopa Kid turns three, he is given control over the land that he owns, a doomship, a horse, a later bedtime, the privilege to go to school when he chooses, and of course, lots more responsibility. After a lot of searching, I finally bought Morton a tape recording of 1,000 talk shows. I’m sure he will be delighted. The tape cost 100 gold coins, but us Koopas are rich, so it does not matter.

After dinner (I opted to have fish instead of steak) I decided to go swimming in the Olympic size indoor pool. Wendy obviously had the same idea, so we swam together. Most of the time, I was just floating on my ball, which I have with me at all times. Finally, I got out of the pool, dried off, and walked on my ball (rolled) to my room, where I am now.

I am writing you because Bowser said when I am older I will want to look back at what I did. I think he is right. Now, I will go to bed, but I will be sure to write again tomorrow.

Dear Journal:

Today I woke up at 8 and went to Koopa school. Each Koopa has their own private teacher, so they can all go at their own pace. My teacher is a large Hammer Brother named Mr. Walleiss. I like him a lot because he teaches me things. I am in the second half of seventh grade. I am learning Algebra, Mushroom (Earth) Science, Mushroom History, Koopish literature, Architecture, and Economics. I always get A’s on my report card. Bowser is very proud of me.

After school, I had to go to a meeting about international trade regarding Ice Land. The meeting was only supposed to last about an hour or so, but ended up lasting three because one of my advisors brought up the point of whether or not to trade with Pipe Land, causing a heated debate. The meeting ended with the decision to trade with Pipe Land and to not have international trading taxes.

I had planned to go on a nature hike with Larry, but because the meeting lasted longer than expected, I had to call it off. Larry understood because he has long meetings too. I spent the evening wrapping Morton’s gift. Tomorrow I may speak with Wendy about preparations for the party.

Dear Journal:

Yesterday me and my entire family went to a family reunion. It took the entire day, which is why I was unable to write. There were many relatives there. Many of them I didn't know, but I recognized my grandparents Mush and Mud and my uncle Wart. The parents spent the day talking about how to get rid of Mario. I wasn’t interested, so I spent most of the day trying to balance on my cousin Birdo’s eggs. By the end of the day, I was walking on the eggs successfully, although I could not go over anything sharp.

Today I spoke with Wendy about the arrangements for Morton’s party. We agreed that we would do a ball act together. I have been teaching her, and she is getting quite good at it. I wonder what acts my other siblings will perform.

I went to school today and learned the Pythagorean theorem, but I thought it was boring. I rescheduled the hike with Larry, and we must have hiked for an hour.

Tomorrow I don’t have much planned, so maybe I will go to school twice and then play some cards with Iggy or go swimming.

Dear Journal,

I didn’t have any meetings scheduled today, so I decided to go to school twice. Since my family is very powerful, we are not always available to go to school at normal hours. Each Koopa Kid has their own private tutor and can work in school around their own schedule. The only requirement is that we take 180 sessions of school in a year. If you do more than that, you get rewarded, but Bowser has a harsh punishment for stragglers. A school session is however long it takes the teacher to finish his lesson. But usually it is about 3 and a half hours.

I went swimming between sessions. I was hoping to see Wendy in the pool, but she was not there. Morton was there, however. He rambled on about his party and kept asking me what I had gotten for him. It was hard not to blurt out that I had gotten him a talk show video, but I managed to control myself.

I went to Iggy’s room after dinner and played with my battling Koopa cards. We gamble, but only because we have more money than we really need anyway. Usually, I win, but today my mind was on Morton’s party so he managed to beat me. I congratulated him and left.

I hope tomorrow won’t be a busy day. I know that Roy is free tomorrow, so maybe I can go see what he is up to.

Dear Journal,

Emergencies will happen. Today was supposed to be a quiet day, but there was a huge blizzard in Ice Land. I had to get on the radio and the TV and try to warn all the civilians and to tell them what to do. After that, I had to go survey the damage. Fortunately, there was not as much damage as I had expected, but I still had to work out programs to fix the damages and ways to pay for them.

I decided that I really needed to relax after this so I went back to the castle and rode my horse Joker in the large yard. Joker is brown except for a white skunk stripe on his back and a pink nose. I have taught him many tricks, and he helped to alleviate my stress. I can not stand stress because it makes me nervous and sometimes if I have too much stress I can’t stand on my ball.

Only two more days until Morton’s party. I hope that Ludwig does not get him a trick gift like when he got Larry a squirting flower… it ruined Larry’s hair!

Dear Journal,

I made a point of going to school today because I did not get a chance to go yesterday and tomorrow school is closed for Morton’s birthday. No Koopa Kid is allowed to go to school tomorrow, and schools are also closed in Desert Land.

After school, Wendy and I had our last rehearsal for tomorrow’s ball act. She is almost as good as I am, and I am willing to give her important roles in the act. Roy recently started learning how to ride on a ball, and may appear in a party not too far in the future.

Ice Land is doing well after yesterday’s blizzard. All of my programs are in full operation, and I expect to see repairs completed within a week.

Bowser should be making the final touches on Morton’s party. It promises to be an all out blast.

Dear Journal,

The day of Morton’s party finally arrived. All of us except for Morton had to wake up at 8 A.M. so that we could make sure that all the preparations were complete. Luckily, everything important had been worked out already, all that remained to complete was the exact schedule of events throughout the party. It is rare that anything we plan turns out the way we planned, but I guess we were all lucky today.

The party started at noon, although guests arrived as early as 11 A.M. to wish Morton a happy birthday. Morton, of course, never had his mouth shut, although he rarely does. Today, however, we couldn’t do a thing about it, since it was his special day. Guests included grandparents, uncles and aunts, friends, especially of Morton, important servants and army members, and our pets. Guests did not include Ludwig, who had been sent to the dungeon because yesterday he destroyed Larry’s plants and because Bowser did not want to allow Ludwig to destroy another party.

The party started off with dancing and food. Wendy and I danced a lot. Roy and Larry ate a lot, but that does not mean that they usually do. Today was a feasting day, and everyone, including myself, had more than their fair share.

At 2 P.M. the acts started. Dancing was still allowed among the guests, but my siblings and I all had acts to perform, except for Morton whose special moment came later. Iggy started it off with an animal act, featuring his dog Chance leaping through a hoop of fire and landing upright on his front two paws, in a headstand. Larry went next and showed off some of the vegetables he had invented recently. There was a taste test, and most of the vegetables were quite good. Roy was next, and he did a magic act featuring levitation. Of course, my family knows that levitation is one of our simplest tricks, but the guests were amazed, and I am impressed that Roy was able to pull if off so successfully. Wendy and I were the finale with our ball riding act.

The acts ended close to 3 P.M., which was the scheduled time for Morton’s ceremony. At that time, Bowser escorted Morton onto the stage and up to a microphone. Bowser made a long, not unlike Morton speech about how his son had grown and about the new responsibility he was going to get and stuff like that. He then presented Morton with a key to the Desert Land castle, signifying Morton’s newfound power, along with the documents entitling him to a horse, a doomship, a later bed time, and the right to choose when to go to school. Morton then made a very Morton like speech. I would summarize it, but I’m not sure if that’s possible. I feel really bad for the court stenographer.

When he finally finished, we all presented him with our presents. All of the presents were along the lines of talking, such as Iggy’s tape recorder and Roy’s copies of famous speeches. We were all surprised when a servant walked in carrying a gift from Ludwig. Bowser opened the gift so that Morton would not be hit with a pie, but instead, he found a long book for Morton to read aloud. Sometimes Ludwig can be nice. I wonder if he has a plot behind it.

The party ended at 6 PM, and all the guests went on their way. The servants started to clean the ballroom. In a few hours, there will be no more remnants of the party, but we all have good memories of it, especially Morton. I think he had a very good day.

Dear Journal,

Yesterday my entire family went to a huge zoo in Grass Land. Morton and Roy couldn’t go, but our family is always busy so it is very rare that we get to travel anywhere at the same time. Grass Land has the most animals and plants on display in the entire Mushroom Kingdom. In fact, Grass Land is the most agricultural of all the lands. Larry loves Grass Land because he thinks farming is very peaceful. Larry spends most of his day tending to plants or animals, or reading books about them. I admire Larry for his persistence in plants, but I’m not sure I agree with him.

Today I attacked Mario and Luigi. I didn’t really want to, but Bowser yells at us if we don’t attack him at least once a month. Personally, I would be just as happy playing with him. In Super Mario World, I was only playing hide and seek with him. I don’t know why the podo boo was even in the room. Anyway, Mario is never any fun, and he ways 300 pounds so it hurts when he jumps on your head.

I took my Freeze Gun and started shooting. I did also send out a horde of Koopa Troopas to tire them out. Of course, my attack didn’t work, but I didn’t expect it to. Now I have another month to think up another plan.

Morton and Bowser went to Desert Land today so that Morton could get an idea of what to do with it. I hope he ends up as the ruler of a thriving nation.

Dear Journal,

I knew Yesterday would be busy, but I was wrong in how busy it would be. I went to school, and then I was supposed to have about two hours of meetings. Those meetings took the entire day. They were about boring stuff like recycling and national schooling. I rule by land knowing it is important, but I really just want to play.

Today I am going to do nothing. I am going to watch TV for a while, swim in the pool, and play golf. Bowser tells us we should have some days just to play so we don’t get stressed out. This is one of those days. I will get back to work tomorrow, but for today, you won’t see me doing any work. Just call me Ludwig.

Dear Journal,

Today I woke up and went to a meeting right after breakfast. I didn’t like what was on the menu so I had the chef prepare me a special dish: Ice Landian Waffles. The meeting was about where, when, and the ifs about digging for oil. Oil is what made Ice Land rich so that I could find more exports. I decided to halt oil digging and spend time and money working on the vegetation.

I then went to school. Today I learned about the history of Ice Land, particulary the rulers. I am the 15^th known ruler of Koopish Ice Land, although one king only ruled for a week.

I led the Koopa Learning Exchange Program this afternoon. Each of my siblings has special skills and we try to teach the others. Koopas can enroll in various classes and win medals for passing progress tests. I teach a ball riding class, in which Wendy is an advanced student and Roy just started. I also offer an economic class with Ice Land as an example, but no one is enrolled in the class right now. I take Larry’s planting class with the hopes of being able to help Ice Land. I have received my medium student’s medal there. I am also in Wendy’s swimming class, where I am advanced, and Iggy’s paleontology (dinosaur) class, where I started last week.

Tomorrow I will speak with Morton (that takes an entire day) and find out how he’s been doing since his birthday.

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