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Fawful vs Croco

Announcer Referee <-Prev--Next->

***

Fawful: Eyehehehehehe! Furururururururu! Hahahahahhahaha! Those of the lady-like and gentlemanly persuasion, be welcomed, yes! Be welcomed by Fawful! Oooooh I am hearing your cheering, and it is making me soooo excited!

Roy: Remind me why he doesn't have, like, a ban from this place? Forever?

Larry: Brainwashed audience along with brainwashed fans.

Roy: It's still STUPID. This match is taking away from my precious Kirby's Epic Yarn time.

Larry: Uhhhh... All right?

Roy: Basically I'm talking about Kirby so that we can ignore Fawful for longer.

Fawful: -AND THE SANDWICHES OF MUSTARD INVOLVING THE DOOM VARIETY, BUT NOT THOSE WITH MAYONAISE OF DEFEAT AS THAT DESTROYS THE GREAT TEXTURE OF THE BREAD OF FAWFUL'S GREATNESS, WHICH IS COVERED IN DOOM! AND THE DOOM IS DIRECTED IN THE DIRECTION OF YOU! WHICH IS MEANING…

Larry: Good point. Well we can always knock him out, right? Come on, who's he fighting?

Iggy: Erm... Croco.

Larry: Who?

Iggy: He was in Super Mario RPG, uhhhh...

Larry: Wow, I forgot that game existed for a second! Oh, yeah, hahaha, we're doomed.

Croco: Hey, don't be so faaaast to judge, bluenette. I gots a good thing goin' here, ya see?

Iggy: Um... Roy? What's he doing in the announcer's booth?

Roy: Well, call it a, heh... modest gentleman's agreement.

Croco: Y'see, the breeder of the horse ain't the one who races, but he's the one who brings in all the dough, right? So, s'long as my name's on that ballot, I live to steal another day. And heh, dang I'm good at raisin' bruisers!

Larry: ... So basically you figured you had no shot of beating him in a popularity contest and cheated?

Croco: Hahaha, lookit this wise guy, lookat ya! Hey, hey, y'know what, kid? Shaddap, I've waited a long time fer this!

Larry: So who's that in the ring?

Bowser: Bwahahahaha! I LOVE beatin' up this little green freak!

Croco: He got a top hat on, don't he?

Roy: Yeah, that's totally Croco down there. He just worked out a bunch.

Pokey: Acknowledged. Hi Croco.

Bowser: Who is that chu- Oh, right. Bwahahahaha! The great Croco's gunna stomp this match, and then get squished by Bowser because he's just TOO COOL to be taken down by anyone else, but Croco is STILL pretty dang sweet! And I should know, I'm Croco! Bwahahahahahaha!

Iggy: ... Right. Red is Fawful, Blue is "Croco".

Fawful: Hmmmm, I was told my foe would have being of the purple variety, but the top hat of dashingness definitely designates him as the crocodile of purpleness who is actually not purple! Furururururu, your faux-purpleness shall be the ketchup of motivation on my fries of DESTROYING YOUR FACE!

Bowser: Yeah, well, uh... I'm gunna punch you until you lose! IN YOUR WEIRD, GREEN FACE!

Iggy: You can SENSE the burning passion in the air, you can-

Croco: Yo, kid, I gots appointments to keep, mind if we speed this shindig up?

Iggy: ... Very well. Lar-

Larry: Croco.

Iggy: ... Any comments, Ro-

Roy: Croco stole a bunch of Wendy's posters and a ton of markers. I don't care what you're talking about, just let Croco win so I can draw funny mustaches and stuff.

Iggy: ... Pokey?

Pokey: Fight.

...

Croco: Oh, uh, right. Sorry, bit of a habit ta pick things like this up. Sells fer a pretty penny.

DING! DING! DING!

Fawful: Fururururururu! Oh how should I be disposing of YOU? Perhaps I shall be having such fury in shocking the body like someone who steps on a power cable in the rain and shouts "ouch I have been electrocuted by this electricity of electric-ness"! Ooh, or perha-

WHAM!

Fawful: ARGH! THAT WOULD BE MY FACE!

Bowser: Yeah, what about it? I mean, besides that it's a pancake. Bwahahahaha!

Iggy: And Croco is off to an incredible start by socking Fawful in his ugly little face!

Fawful: Grrrrr... Then I shall have the LASER BLASTINGS! Be taking that! And that!

Fizzle... Fizzle...

Bowser: Bwahahaha. That tickled!

Shoom!

Bowser: Ah! Okay, that hurts... JUST A LITTLE.

Iggy: And Fawful retaliates with a bunch of really weak laser blasts!

Croco: Huh, I forgot just how thickheaded them hired muscles are, see? Ain't no rules against outside interference, so I think we'll be goin' this route!

Fawful: And now I shall have the settings changed so that it is blasting to FIVE MILLION VOLTS! Oh yes, crocodile of not-crocodile-ness, YOU shall be having FR-

BANG!

Fawful: IT IS THE HEAD TRAUMA!

Iggy: A mysterious crocodile-shaped member of our audience just threw a Bullet Bill at Fawful! How dreadful!

Bowser: Bwahahaha, I won't even have to get my knuckles dirty. THIS is how ya fry something!

Fwoom!

Fawful: I HAVE BEEN IN THE OVERHEAT! EYAAAAAHHH!

Iggy: Croco has learned to breathe fire since we last saw him, and  Fawful is burning very pretty!

Fawful: Do not think you are havingness of victory! DOME! SHIELD THE MASTER OF YOU!

...

Fawful: IT IS NOT IN THE HAPPENING! WHAT IS ERROR?!

Croco: Oh, y'see, I took some retroactive liberties - forgot ta tell ya, Roy ol' pal, hope that's all right - an' I figured 'hey, why would we let something that can toast your mag-NIFICENT hall come out'. So I did what any good fan would do an' disabled that.

Roy: I think we're off to a great start for our relationship.

Croco: How's twenty coins sound ta gettin' a third week in this place?

Roy: Veeery tempting, I'll have to consider, heheheh...

Fawful: Eyehehehehehe! Do you think you have had WINNING, Croco? Well here am I proclaiming you have NOT!

Bowser: What? Oh, that's right, you don't shut up and lose! Heh, guess that's why you're a cool punching bag.

Fawful: It is always in the scenario where the chips have been placed down that the underdog is having the victory with the loser's cockiness and upstart bragging! And the pride shall be of your DOOM with a hint of SELF DESTRUCTION flavor!

Bowser: As usual I'm gonna speak for everyone and say SHUT. UP.

Block!

Bowser: What?!

Iggy: Did he just CATCH King Da- Croco's punch?

Fawful: I am havingness the FURY OF DETERMINATION! THIS IS FAWFUL'S FURY! FEEL THE PAIN OF FAWFUL'S ANNOYING VERY DAMAGING SPINNING SLAP ATTACK!

Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham!

Bowser: Grah! Ow! Argh! Stop that! I'm LOSING my patience!

Iggy: Fawful is spinning like a tornado, really putting the hurt on Croco!

Croco: Eh, it'll slide, the big guy ain't goin' down to somethin' like tha-

Fawful: I HAVE TASER!

Bowser: Blagityblagityblagityblagi- GRAAAAAAH!

Croco: ... On second thought I'm thinkin' a little boost ta turn the tide's just what the doc ordered. Roy, ol' buddy ol' pal! I'm goin' to look for the lil' future champ's room if that's okay?

Roy: Huh? Oh, yeah, sure...

Fawful: Have you readiness for HARD-TO-AVOID HOMING FLYING TACKLE ATTACK?!

Bowser: OW! LOOK, WILL YOU STAND STILL FOR JUST A MINUTE SO I CAN HIT YOU?!

Fawful: I am saying to you NO!

Iggy: Fawful's rapid hit-and-run attacks have stunned Croco! With his lack of ranged moves it seems like it's only a matter of time before Fawful wears him down!

Bowser: HA! YEAH RIGHT! I'm not even going to move from THIS SPOT and I'm STILL gonna beat this wimp!

Fawful: Ooooooh, we are having such CONFIDENCE? THE CONFIDENCE OF YOUR DEMISE! FEEL FAWFUL'S CHARGING TACKLE OF VICTORY! COMPLETE WITH BOB-OMBS!

Iggy: Wow, that is a jacket full of Bob-ombs, isn't it?

Fawful: Fortunately Fawful's blast suit will be having keeping him safe. But YOU shall be of the DEFEATED! TASTE FAWFUL'S FURRRYYYYYYYYYY!

...

Fawful: ... I AM CHARGING TOWARD YOU BUT YOU ARE NOT APPROACHING FAWFUL! WHAT IS HAVING GONE ON?

Croco: Hey pals, m'back.

Iggy: What's with the hot glue gun?

Croco: Oh, see, somethin' was moving out of place and I'd feel TERRIBLE if any damage came to this hall while I was here. So I just stuck that little sucker where he belonged an' hey, nature can do the rest.

Bowser: Bwahahahahaha! Won't. Even. Move!

Wham! Bam! Crack! Bam! Bam! Wham! Slam! Crunch! SHING!

Fawful: I am still... having IN thi-

BOOM!

Fawful: I WILL HAVE RETURNIIIIiiiiiinnnnnnggg-

Ding!

Pokey: Fawful, out. Winner, Croco.

Bowser: All right! Now can I take off this stupid hat? It's ruining my awesome hair!

Iggy: Well, um... Fawful got stuck on "something totally related to Sports Hall layout" according to my prompt, and then Croco nailed him. And with one uppercut he knocked all the explosives around Fawful into the air and BANG, that was all she wrote!

Croco: An' that ends my job as an exterminator, don't it? Heheheh, dang I'm good.

Roy: I'm in a good mood now!

Bowser: Roy, did you buy this GIRLS' GAME?!

Roy: ... It's LARRY'S! And Kirby is NOT a girl's game! He eats people!

Bowser: It's TOO CUTE! LARRY, YOU ARE GROUNDED SO HARD AS SOON AS I GET UP THERE!

Larry: I-it's awesome though!

Bowser: I KNOW BUT IT'S STILL GIRLY!

Larry: Aaaaahhhh! E-end transmission!