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Croco vs Chef Torte

Announcer Referee <-Prev--Next->

***

Croco: So, uh, Roy, I was thinking, see, I could, say, “donate” some money to the Sports Hall again and you could get maybe Shadoo to, uh, substitute for me this time?

Roy: Actually, I’d say the audience wants to see a fair match today.

Croco: Aw, come on, man. Maybe two hundred coins will change your mind?

Roy: No, actually I’m going to go with the honest route this time.

Croco: Just when you like a guy, he stops takin’ bribes.

Roy: Sorry, that’s just the goodness of my heart now.

Larry: And that’s why you have that throne made out of cake, right?

Roy: Exactly. I’m an honest man.

Croco: What? I can’t believe it!

Chef Torte: You are not ze only one who can bribe Roy, Monsieur Croco.

Croco: Grrr… All right, I’ll step into the ring against ya, ya pushover!

Iggy: And now that the buttering round has ended, welcome to another excitingly honest match here at Roy’s Sports Hall!

Larry: Yes indeed, Iggy. Today we’ve got two people who haven’t been in a game for ages! Why are they even back here?

Iggy: The only explanation is… uhh… actually, I don’t think there is an explanation for it. Blame it on the wild winds blowing, I guess.

Roy: I’m blaming it on you not shutting up and introducing them!

Iggy: Sorry, sorry! In the Red Corner, we actually legitimately have this time the reptilian pickpocket, CROCO!

Croco: Ya have some nice stuff. Can I borrow it indefinitely?

Iggy: And in the Blue Corner, we have the Doctor Frankenstein of baking, CHEF TORTE!

Chef Torte: Making a soufflé right vill be easier zan defeating you.

Iggy: And now it’s time for Larry’s prediction!

Larry: Well, the two seem evenly matched.

Roy: Don’t be a wimp about it!

Larry: Fine, uh… Croco, why not. He’s probably bribed Roy enough.

Roy: I don’t know, this is some good throne-cake.

Pokey: Fight.

DING DING DING!

Croco: Now take this!

Fling!

Chef Torte: What ze? My feet are glued to ze floor!

KABOOM!

Chef Torte: AIE!

Iggy: It looks like a repeat of last match as Chef Torte was unable to dodge Croco’s Bob-omb throw in time!

Croco: Dis’ll be a piece of cake, no pun intended! I might as well rob ya before I–What the?!

Iggy: Croco’s glued to the floor too?!

Roy: Ooh, this icing has fruit in it!

Chef Torte: Heh heh heh…

Croco: Ya can’t stop me! Take this and this and this–

Fling! Fling! Fling!

Chef Torte: HYPEIR PLASMA CANNON!

FOOOOOOOOOOOMM!

Croco: AAAAAAUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHH!

Iggy: WOAH! This battle’s going to be over sooner than expected!

Croco: I wouldn’t say dat too soon…

Flip!

Chef Torte: Oh, no you don’t!

FOOM!

Croco: M-my Mushroom!

Chef Torte: Ze vay in vich you fight is shameful to your game and to your species! PLASMA CANNON!

FOOM!

Croco: Now’s my chance!

Gulp!

Iggy: Chef Torte blasted the ground at his feet and managed to get out of the glue trap, but Croco used the opportunity to heal himself! Bad move for Chef Torte!

Chef Torte: Only a minor misjudgment. Now, behold ze power of ze SUGAR STORM!

Click! Fwooooooooooosh!

Iggy: I can’t see a thing! It looks like Chef Torte created a blizzard of sugar around ze–Aw, dang, now I’m doing it too.

Croco: Where are ya…

Click!

Croco: I hear ya!

Snatch!

Croco: Nice frying pan. Can I see it?

Chef Torte: SACRE BLEU!

Iggy: Nice comeback! And it looks like the sugar’s settling on the ground!

Chef Torte: Ze frying pan is not ze only–
Croco: How do you say it? HYPEIR PLASMA CANNON!

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!

Croco: AIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIIIIIII!

Iggy: Croco’s being blasted around the arena by the force of the Hyper Plasma Cannon! I guess Torte’s sturdier than he looks…

Whump!

Croco: Phew, managed to land on my feet!

Gulp!

Iggy: And he’s swallowed another Mushroom! He’s back to full health!

Croco: Let’s face it, ya can’t do a thing as long as– Huh?

Chef Torte: Do you like créme brulee?

Croco: What the?!

Iggy: Chef Torte snuck in while Croco was still recovering and used a butane torch to caramelize the sugar around his feet! He’s stuck!

Roy: That’s the most delicious trap I’ve ever seen, beyond the Giant Peppermint Hard Candy That Crushes You.

Iggy: Where–

Roy: Never mind.

Chef Torte: I vill just take back my frying pan, if you do not mind.

Croco: As long as I got my bag–

CLANG!

Croco: Ugh!

CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!

Chef Torte: YOU FOOL! YOU MADE ME VASTE ENERGY ON MY FRYING PAN BECAUSE YOU ARE! A! MORON!

Croco: Uuuuhhhh…

Chef Torte: Behold my favorite ingredient!

Crack! Crack!

Iggy: No way! It’s–

Boogie! Boogie! Boogie! FWABAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMM!

Croco: I… can’t… believe… it…ugh.

Iggy: And thanks to a judicious use of the precious Star Egg, Chef Torte has won the match!

Roy: And just in time! Can you bake me another throne?

Larry: Aaaaahhhh! E-end transmission!