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Cackletta vs Chuckolator vs Shadoo

Announcer Referee <-Prev--Next->

***

Pokey: Roy's Sports Hall.

Larry: Hey, where the heck's everyone else?

Pokey: Shadoo fight.

Larry: ... Wait, WHO is fighting?

Pokey: Shadoo.

Larry: Why didn't anyone TELL me that? Oh, oh jeez, I gotta get outta here, oh man I...

Shadoo: Going somewhere, Koopa?

Larry: N-no, Mister Shadoo, sir! I-I'll be good, just...

Shadoo: I do know where you live, Koopa.

Larry: Well technically everyone does bu-

Shadoo: And all of your hiding spaces. And the place where you keep your magazines.

Larry: Y-you wouldn't DARE!

Shadoo: You will predict my victory, Koopa, and your Nintendo Power shall remain unharmed.

Larry: F-fine!

Pokey: Good enough opening?

Larry: I think so, yeah.

Pokey: Good. Red Corner, Cackletta.

Cackletta: Eyehehehehe! There is NO way you can be counting ME out! I'll easily squash this lousy competition and show you who to REALLY be afraid of!

Pokey: Green Corner, Chuckolator.

Chuckolator: What do you call two people who get beaten by the Chuckolator? YOU GUYS!

Pokey: Not funny.

Chuckolator: I'M HILARIOUS!

Pokey: Green Corner, Shadoo.

Shadoo: My, we're confident in ourselves, aren't we? Return in one-thousand years, and perhaps I'll think of giving effort.

Pokey: Larry?

Larry: Shadoo. It took Anti Guy to bring the guy down, and Anti Guy is like a force of nature here.

Pokey: Lost to Bogmire.

Larry: And Bogmire is a total champ. Seriously, have you SEEN the shadowy goop he throws everywhere? That kid is GOING places!

Pokey: Saying things out of terror?

Larry: You BET I am! By the way, who's announcing?!

Pokey: Dunno.

Shadoo: In the interest of a more exciting fight, we summoned a suitably strong host for the witch. Also the most unintelligent one we could find.

Whomp: Oor! Whomp announcer for fight!

Shadoo: We intervened after he and Wario played rock-paper-scissors for three hours.

Whomp: Whomp secret weapon is rock!

Larry: Well, it'll at least be more quiet...

Pokey: Fight.

DING! DING! DING!

Chuckolator: HELLO ALL! Do you know where Samus took her prom date? THE MORPH BALL!

Shoom!

Whomp: Oor! Chuckolator glowing from funny joke! Hahahaha! Whomp not get it, though.

Cackletta: Eyehehehe! What a-

Shadoo: Foolish ability. Once your soul has been devoured, I shall apply it in a more practical form.

Cackletta: HEY! I was going to insult the idio-

Fwoosh!

Cackletta: ARGH! STOP INTERRUPTING ME!

Whomp: Soda bullets knock green thing back and hurts! Whomp thinks it's cherry flavor!

Chuckolator: Ohoho, we're just getting started. What did the hangman tell his apprentice? Nice execution!

Shoom!

Chuckolator: Taste the delicious strength that only Chuckola Co. can brew!

Fwoom!

Cackletta: Eaaargh!

Whomp: Oor! Whomp impressed! Soda guy's hand turn into flamethrower from joke power! Whomp no understand how physics work!

Larry: Don't... don't spend too long racking your brain, Whomp.

Whomp: Whomp agrees! Thinking overrated!

Cackletta: You're proving more annoying than I expected... EYEHEHEHEHEHE!

Zap! Zap! Zap! Zap!

Chuckolator: Hahahahaha! You make me CHUCKLE!

Whomp: Chuckolator laughs off lightning like nothing!

Cackletta: What? How can you be this strong defensively?

Chuckolator: It is through the power of great humor that I am brewed to perfection! What do you call a-

Shadoo: Pardon, but I have a hilarious joke.

Chuckolator: Ooh, I LOVE a good joke! Please tell me.

Shadoo: What do you call me when I walk directly behind you during all your pathetic banter and prepare my assault?

Chuckolator: I don't know, what?

Shadoo: Your worst nightmare.

Chuckolator: I... don't get how that's really a jo-

FWOOM!

Chuckolator: That's... not... funny...

Plop.

Pokey: Chuckolator, down.

Whomp: Oor! What happen, Whomp blinked and missed it!

Cackletta: W-what... what manner of abomination ARE you?

Larry: T-there were tentacles a-and hands... a-and so many screams, screams everywhere and... and he was just gone and then... he was back and... e-everything about him was...

Shadoo: For the sake of your sanity, I suggest you justify it as "I tore open dimensional space and tore his soul asunder", rather than what you saw.

Larry: Y-yeah, that's exactly it, right...

Cackletta: Eyehehehehe! Interesting, INTERESTING! Maybe YOU'LL be my power source, even better than the Beanstar! Come here...

Shadoo: I tire of these antics. So I believe a wardrobe change is in order...

Flash!

Whomp: Oor! Shadow guy turn into pretty lady with no face or body or other things!

Cackletta: Eargh! But why would you transform into... THAT WOMAN?!

Shadoo: I'm quite a fan of irony. Now, if you'll excuse me...

Whomp: Lady taking deep breath.

Cackletta: Ha! You've left yourself WIDE OPEN! Now sink, SINK into despair!

Shadoo: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-

Whomp: Why everyone on floor?

Larry: CAN YOU NOT HEAR HOW LOUD HE'S YELLING IN A HIGH-PITCHED FEMININE VOICE?!

Whomp: Whomp's ears not that good. Whomp not even sure he has ears.

Cackletta: EARRRRRGH! AAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Shadoo: Is the battle finished?

Pokey: No.

Shadoo: As expected.

Whomp: Oor! Loud shouting break glass and lots of lights! And ugly witch lady blasted into ground and body is dust now!

Cackletta: Eheheheheh! Thanks for removing me from that mortal coil! Now I'll just possess this man right heeer-

Whomp: Ghost lady reaching hand for Whomp. Whomp played this game before and uses unconscious kid next to him as shield!

Larry: Wha- AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Cackletta: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Larletta: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Shadoo: ... This is possibly more frightening than I could have imagined.

Larletta: You... YOOOOOU! TASTE MY... METEOR... TENNIS BALL... ATTACK!

Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh!

Whomp: Lady-Koopa-Thing pulling out meteors and hitting with giant tennis racquet! Whomp liking big rocks!

Shadoo: Predictable. Far too slow. And not nearly good enough.

Whomp: Shadow lady turn into shadow man who is kinda skinny but not really, just skinnier than the other shadow man who was here before and... Whomp confused. Is everyone a boy or a girl now? What is Whomp? What is Pokey?

Pokey: Boy.

Whomp: Whomp is still confused! So Whomp will think of funny things like Goombas getting Whomped. Haha, Goombas getting Whomped... Whomp likes this.

Larletta: Grrrr... Just STAY STILL! DARK METEOR SHOWER!

Shadoo: Hmph. You might serve well as a jester someday.

Wham!

Whomp: Oor! Shadow guy got hit!

Shadoo: Of course, you realize this meteor was positioned directly over your head. And now my form is spreading around it...

Larletta: What? No... NO! GET... GET THAT AWAY FROM MEEEEEEE!

Chomp!

Pokey: Cackletta, out. Shadoo, winner.

Whomp: Why did meteor grow teeth and eat not-boy-not-girl thing?

Shadoo: Possession.

Whomp: Where did they go after meteor explode on ground? And how shadow thing still alive?

Shadoo: Oblivion, hopefully for the first question, though I doubt they will be so fortunate as to escape my wrath. As for the second... you honestly would expect a host body exploding to destroy me?

Whomp: Yes, Whomp thought so.

Shadoo: Foolish!

Whomp: So... um... just three of us then?

Pokey: Yup.

Whomp: Oh... okay. What Whomp do now?

Pokey: Electrocution.

Whomp: Oh... But Whomp has nobody to electrocute!

Pokey: What a shame.

Whomp: Whomp feels this is disappointing ending to anticlimactic battle.

Pokey: What a shame.

Whomp: Whatever! Whomp going home to throw rocks at Thwomp.

Pokey: End Transmission.