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Shadoo vs Microgoomba

Announcer Referee <-Prev--Next->

***

Roy: *sigh*

Don Pianta: What’s troublin’ youse, friend?

Roy: This really strong fighter’s in the Sports Hall, but he’s scaring everyone else off. It’s terrible for business.

Don Pianta: Yeah, I’ve been there. I was that close to sabotagin’ Rawk Hawk because he showboated right into the audience.

Roy: Wait, did you say sabotage?

Don Pianta: Absolutely. Youse never did that before?

Roy: Are you kidding? Sabotage is my middle name! But I just don’t know how to get this guy.

Don Pianta: Everyone’s got a weakness. Who is it?

Roy: Shadoo.

…

Don Pianta: I’ll handle it. Hey, Toad! Youse owe me that favor!

Toad: R-right away, Don!

***

Larry: Welcome to another match here at Roy’s Sports Hall! And in what might be the most lopsided match of all time, it’s an unstoppable bonus boss versus someone who’s too small to do anything more than slow things down.

Roy: You know, if I were you I’d actually split my odds.

Larry: Are you kidding? You just want to shock me again. I’m putting a prediction on Shadoo to win this, all the way.

Roy: All right, if you say– What’s this?! It looks like SOMEone’s interrupted the match!

Toad: SHADOOOOO! I’M YOUR BIGGEST FAN! HAVE AN EGG!

Toss! Catch!

Shadoo: Hmph. I suppose I won’t be satiated after devouring this weakling. He hasn’t even shown up yet, anyways.

Glop!

Shadoo: That felt… strangely light…

Roy: Ha ha, sucker! Welcome to the real match!

Shadoo: What?

Larry: WHAT?!

Roy: It would be boring to just have you stomp on Microgoomba, and you’re intimidating the audience out of here enough as it is! So here’s the real game. You’ve just swallowed a star egg! It’ll brighten you up in two minutes if you fail to squash Microgoomba by then!

Shadoo: Hmph. Like that would make any difference. I’ll defeat him in ten seconds.

Roy: Okay, sure. Larry, it hardly seems necessary, but could you announce the fighters?

Larry: All… right, I guess. In the Red Corner, it’s the boss so scary that he won two matches by default, SHADOO!

Shadoo: Enjoy your last ten seconds of light.

Larry: And in the Blue Corner, he’s such a trooper for coming into the ring and he’s just so adorable, MICROGOOMBA!

Microgoomba: Don’t call me cute! I’m going to win this!

Larry: Awwww, I love how he has dreams. Too bad they’re going to be crushed horribly. Pokey?

Pokey: Crush.

DING DING DING!

Shadoo: Goodbye.

Fwish!

Microgoomba: A hand?

Shlorp!

Microgoomba: AIIIIIEE!

Larry: That was… faster than I thought.

Shadoo: Don’t give me such a useless opponent in the fut–

Latch!

Shadoo: WHAT?!

Microgoomba: Like your shadowy hands could actually do anything. I’m Microgoomba! The STRONGEST of them all!

Shadoo: That was only a fraction of my power.

Flash!

Larry: Shadoo’s turned into… uh… Looks like Thwomp!

Shadoo: Crushing you will be easier in this body! NOW SUBMIT TO MY ETERNAL MIGHT!

WHAM! WHAM! CRAAAAAAAAAASH! Vwooooooom…

Larry: Woah! Shadoo Thwomp’s hit the ring so hard, he tore open a hole in reality! It’s sucking Microgoomba in! But does it count as a ring out?

Pokey: No, defeat.

Larry: Even better!

Microgoomba: Nonononononono! NO! NO! NO! NO!

Shadoo: Inevitable. Even your predecessor had no hope against me.

Microgoomba: That’s… that’s right! Papa Gooms!

Shadoo: Was that his name? Sorry, I couldn’t get it before devouring his soul.

Microgoomba: NOOOOOOO! PAPA GOOMS SHALL BE AVENGED!

Larry: Look at that little guy go! He’s barely keeping up!

Roy: Oh, and look, forty seconds have passed already. You only got eighty more, Shadoo!

Shadoo: Don’t taunt me, you insolent fool!

Flash!

Larry: Shadoo sealed up the hole and changed back to Mario…

Shadoo: Humiliate me, will you?! I’ll show you the wrath of a bonus boss!

Microgoomba: Bring it on, loser! You have no chance against me!

Shadoo: What if I do this?

Microgoomba: My, you’re fast.

FWOOM!

Larry: OH, NO! THE NIGHTMARE’S BACK!

Roy: Even… even I’m a little scared at that.

Shadoo: BE DEVOURED BY MY ALL-CONSUMING STRENGTH! PERISH IN THE VOID OF LOST SOULS!

FWOOOOM!

Microgoomba: *huff… huff… huff…*

Shadoo: How?! HOW CAN YOU STIL STAND?!

Microgoomba: I’m… heh… I’m in the top percentage of Microgoombas. Didn’t I tell you?

Shadoo: You… YOU… WITNESS MY POWER!

FWASH!

Roy: What’s going on?

Kamek: It looks like some kind of magical field!

Roy: WHO ASKED YOU?!

FWA-BAM-WHAM!

Kamek: GAAAAaaaahhhh…

Pokey: Kamek, ring out.

Shadoo: As soon as I activate this, my speed will increase a hundredfold, cutting off the only advantage you have. You will experience the torment of a thousand nightmares.

Microgoomba: Psh, you’re such a grandstander.

Shadoo: You… YOU…

Larry: What’s he doing?

Microgoomba: I’d say you’re no better than… no better than…

Shadoo: ENOUGH OF THIS! ACTIVATE!

Microgoomba: Wait!

Shadoo: …

Microgoomba: Oh, that’s right! You’re no better than a guy who lets a Microgoomba time him out!

Shadoo: What are you talking abou–

Crack! Crack! Jiggy jiggy jiggy! KAFWAAAAAAAAAAAM!

Shadoo: NOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Pokey: Winner, Microgoomba.

Roy: Yes! YES!

Larry: No! NO!

Roy: This day couldn’t possibly get any better!

Larry: I can’t believe it… Shadoo lost…

Roy: Oh, that’s right, it CAN get better!

Larry: BLAGIDIAGIDIAGIDIAGGGGG! END TRANSMISSION!